


Total Drama Redux: 52

by Critica7



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: As well as humor, But his role is relatively minor so don't worry, Gen, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Romance is there but not focused on much, The main focus is strategy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 135,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23722411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Critica7/pseuds/Critica7
Summary: What if the three generation casts all competed on the same season? Join 52 campers for a strenuous and potentially deadly competition! How will events change with four teams and 52 campers? Find out! R/R please. I don't own Total Drama.
Comments: 44
Kudos: 34





	1. Not So Happy Campers, Part 1

Chapter 1: Not So Happy Campers, Part 1

The scene fades to a wooden dock in front of a picturesque campground. A dark-haired man popped up, wearing casual clothes that were still clearly chosen with fashion in mind. "Yo!" He greeted the audience. "We're coming at you from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host, Chris McLean, bringing you the hottest new reality show on television!"

"Here's the deal: fifty-two campers have signed up to stay at this crummy old summer camp. Every two days, they will participate in a challenge, and one camper will have to walk the 'Dock of Shame,' board the 'Boat of Losers,' and leave 'Total Drama Island' for good. In the end, only one camper will remain standing, and will receive the reward of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS! Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, on Total Drama Island!"

\---

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island, where we will be introducing our first thirteen contestants! We told them they'd be staying at a five-star resort, so if they seem a bit T. , that's why." A barge pulled up to the dock, and thirteen teenagers walked onto the dock.

The first to reach Chris was a muscular young black man in a football jersey. "Sha-yeah! Lightning's the first one here, and he's gonna be the last one to leave!" He exclaimed. "Save that enthusiasm for the competition, because you'll need it to beat me," said the second camper, a light brown-haired young woman in gray sweats. "Lightning, Jo! So glad you could make it," said Chris. "Wouldn't miss it. And you can just send the rest home now," replied Jo. "It wouldn't make much of a difference."

The third camper to arrive was a fat blond girl with a pink shirt and jeans. "You're the competition, then? I'm guaranteed this here pageant," she said, looking at Jo and Lightning, who angrily took a step towards her, but Chris put his arm in front of them. "Sugar, you do know this is an elimination game, not a pageant," Chris said to her. "Same thing, really," she replied. "Only difference is the judges are competing."

Before anyone could reply, they were enveloped in a cloud, and they all started coughing. The culprit was shown to be a spray-tanned girl with a mass of dark hair using hairspray. "Hey, Choking Hazard! What gives?" asked Jo between coughs.

"Three more coats," replied the girl.

Chris said between coughs, "I don't have a problem with you spraying your hair, Anne Maria, but do it on the other side of the dock!" Anne Maria obliged, and when she was downwind of them, the other four took deep breaths. Sugar narrowed her eyes at the Jersey girl, sensing a possible rival.

The fifth camper to exit the boat was a redheaded, bespectacled girl in a librarian-like outfit. She looked at the cabins, and asked, "I assume the photos of the five-star resort on the application were placed there to be misleading?"

"Very good, Scarlett," Chris replied. "Do you have a problem with that?"

Scarlett shrugged. "It's still within the parameters I had planned for for the competition." She then walked over to the other campers.

Sixth was a goth girl with blue hair and pale skin wearing dark clothing. She took one look at the accommodations, and said, "I am not staying here."

"You have to, Gwen, it's in your contract," replied the host, holding up a stack of papers. She angrily grabbed them and tore them, but Chris simply smiled and said, "The great thing about lawyers? They make a lot of copies." He held out another stack of papers. Gwen simply rolled her eyes and stormed over to where the other four were standing.

The seventh was a boy of Indian descent wearing a red sweater-vest, who asked Chris, "Did you get the memo about my life-threatening allergies?"

"I'm sure someone did, Noah," was the response he got.

Next was an muscular black teen in a green shirt. The host greeted him: "DJ!"

"Yo, what up, man?" DJ responded.

"Just fixin' to get things started, man," Chris told him.

"If they say 'man' one more time, I'm gonna puke," Gwen said.

DJ then walked over to the others. Jo nodded at him, and Lightning gave him a fist bump.

Ninth off the boat was a dark-haired, rather handsome young man with a guitar case strapped to him. Chris called out to him, "Trent!" Trent walked up to him and gave him a fist bump.

"Hey," Trent replied.

The tenth camper was a guy in a sweater wearing a toque. Chris asked him, "Ezekiel, what's up?"

The boy looked upwards and replied, "I think I see a bird."

Chris said to him, "Look, I know you don't get out much. Been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaky prairie people. Just keep your mouth shut and try not to be the first one voted off, okay?" Ezekiel nodded.

Number eleven was an overweight blond boy in a white t-shirt with a blue maple leaf, and green cargo pants. He enthusiastically exclaimed, "Man, it is so awesome to be here! This is gonna be awesome!"

Chris greeted him: "Owen!"

Owen shook Chris's hand vigorously. "Man, being here is so...so..."

"Awesome?" Gwen supplied. "Yeah!" Owen confirmed.

Number twelve was a handsome Latin boy with shoulder-length hair and casual clothes that, like Chris's, were still clearly chosen for style. "Alejandro! Good to have you here!" came Chris's greeting.

"Not as good as it is to be here, I assure you," replied Alejandro. "Greetings, amigos. I look forward to getting to know you all," he said to his fellow campers. Sugar, Anne Maria, and Owen visibly swooned. Jo and Gwen rolled their eyes.

The final contestant to get off the first boat was a redhead girl with her hair in pigtails, wearing a tube top and slacks. The host called out to her, "Zoey!" She nervously walked up to the rest, and managed a weak "hi." Owen, Trent, and Alejandro returned the greeting. Chris then turned to the thirteen, and said, "This dock was built to hold twenty people, so you might want to get on dry land before the next boat arrives. Head to the campfire pit, and wait there until everyone arrives." The campers obliged.

\---

The boat left, and then a second one arrived at the dock. The first camper to walk up to Chris was a thin, red-haired guy with glasses wearing a blue shirt. He looked at the campground, and asked the host, "Does this mean this show will be at a crappy summer camp instead of a resort?"

"Yes. Yes it does, Harold," the host replied.

"Yes! That is so much more favorable to my skills set," exclaimed Harold. Chris made a grossed-out face.

The second camper was a husky girl in a pink jacket with shoulder-length brown hair. "My great-great-great-great grandfather invented summer camps, you know. Before him, children had nothing to do during summer but throw rocks at each other, yah," she said.

Chris hesitantly replied, "Sure, Staci," before turning to Harold and asking, "Has she been doing this all the way here?" Harold nodded, and Chris winced.

The third camper tried to jump from the railing, but ended up face-planting on the dock. He had brown hair and wore a red track suit. Harold and Staci were quick to help him up, and he shouted, "Extreme!"

"You might want to avoid taking unnecessary risks, Tyler," advised the host. "After all, there will be a lot of necessary risks in this competition, and we wouldn't want you to get hurt more than necessary." Tyler shrugged.

The next camper off the boat was a heavyset young black man, who walked over to Chris without a word. "B! The B-man! Silent B!" Chris greeted. B, true to the label, didn't say a word, but he did give Chris a high-five.

Fifth to exit the boat was a smaller, yet still rather large white boy with curly brown hair wearing a striped sweater, who was paying more attention to his handheld gaming device than anything else. "Sorry, Sam, but I'm going to have to confiscate this," said Chris, taking the gaming device. "No gaming devices allowed on the island."

"Aw, man. I was just about to reach a save point," whined Sam. He sighed and went to stand with the others.

Sixth was a tall, purple-haired, brown-skinned girl, who had shoved Sam down the boarding ramp, and had only barely waited for Chris to stop talking to Sam to speak. "Oh EMM GEE! You're Chris McLean! The Chris McLean! I'm, like, your biggest fan! I own all your movies, albums, and I'm even president of the junior Chris McLean fan club! It's so great to meet you!" she squealed.

"Thanks, Sierra! Always glad to meet a fan," Chris replied.

Chris turned to greet the next camper off the boat, only to suddenly find himself facing a small, pale, blond girl in a green sweater. She was looking at him with a blank expression, and Chris jumped when he saw her. He quickly recovered, and said rather loudly, "Don't sneak up on me like that, Dawn!"

Dawn answered in a high voice, "I'm sorry. Also, you should see a therapist. You have a lot of unresolved childhood issues that you need to work out."

Taken aback, Chris shouted, "Excuse me? I don't care WHAT you heard, it isn't TRUE, got that?"

Dawn nodded and walked over to the others, and Sierra quickly asked, "What kind of childhood issues? And how do you know about them?"

Dawn replied, "I'm an aura reader. And your aura tells me that you have attachment issues. Probably because of your father walking out on your mother when you were young." Sierra took a step back, eyes wide.

The next two campers to get off the boat were twin girls with blond hair and matching cheerleader uniforms. The only visible differences were that one had a mole under her right eye, and that the other one was carrying all of their luggage. Chris greeted them, "Amy, Samey, welcome to Total Drama Island!"

The twin carrying the luggage said, "Um, actually my name is Sammy..." but Chris cut her off. "Your sister says everyone calls you Samey, besides, we already have a camper here named Sam." Sam waved. "You're officially Samey," finished the host.

Amy scowled at her, and said harshly, "You'd better not embarrass me any more than you already have, Samey. It's bad enough that I have to stay here in this dump without you making things worse." She then walked over to the others, seemingly oblivious to the icy looks she was receiving from the other campers.

Tenth off the boat was a short, dark-haired girl with feather earrings and a pale yellow turtleneck. "Sky! Think your Olympics training will come in handy here?" Chris asked her.

She gave him a fist bump. "I'm sure it will," she said, then she went to stand with the other contestants.

Eleventh was a small girl with black hair wearing a pink princess costume. She cheerily and enthusiastically greeted the others. "My greetings to you all!"

"Hello, Ella. It's good to see you here," replied Chris. Ella then skipped over to the other campers.

The next camper was a short, stubby, pasty guy with purple hair in a bowl cut. "Tremble in fear, your evil master has arrived!" he shouted.

"Yeah, that's great, Max. Go stand with the others," replied the host.

Sky offered him a stick of gum. "Your offer of simple confectionery will not save you from the evil of me! But yes, thank you," he accepted. He placed the gum in his mouth, then gagged. "Cinnamon, there is no need for you to be that spicy!"

The final camper to come ashore was a short, shaggy-haired boy wearing a vest and a toque, and looking very tense. He asked Chris, "Have you seen any zombies here lately?" "Umm...no?" Chris replied hesitantly.

The boy seemed to relax slightly, and said, "Good. Zombies can't swim, so we should be safe here. Still, I'm not taking any chances."

"Whatever floats your boat, Shawn," Chris responded. "Now head to the campfire pit where the thirteen campers that came here on the first boat are, please." The campers did as they were told.

\---

The third boat arrived after the second left, and the first person to disembark was a short brunette girl with glasses and braces wearing a teal shirt and pink pants. She quickly ran over to Chris, and said "It is so incredulous to meet you! Wow, you're much shorter in real life." Chris hesitantly thanked her.

A muscular young woman with dark hair wearing a blue track suit was the second camper off the boat, and she walked past the host without saying a word. "Eva!" Chris greeted her, but she ignored him. She dropped the duffel bag she was carrying onto the dock, and it made a loud noise when it hit.

"Whoa, what's in that bag? Weights?" Beth asked her.

"Yes," Eva replied tersely. Beth decided not to press the issue.

A guy with eyebrow piercings and a green Mohawk wearing a black t-shirt with a skull on it was next. He looked at the camp, and at Chris, and said bitterly, "I don't like surprises."

The host calmly said, "Yeah, your parole officer told me that, Duncan. He also told me to give him a call anytime if you need to be dragged back to juvie." Duncan scowled and walked away.

Next was an orange-haired, freckled boy in dirty clothing carrying a baseball bat, whom Chris introduced as "Scott." He looked at the others, and said to Duncan, "And I suppose you think you're some sort of tough guy?"

Duncan bristled at this. "Why don't you put down the bat, and I can show you how tough I am?"

Scott sneered and dropped the bat. "I can take you, punk."

Chris decided to intervene. "Both of you, stop. You'll have plenty of time to show each other how tough you are later. Let it go for now."

Fifth was a tall, raven-haired girl wearing a tube top and khaki shorts. "Ugh! Is this really where we're staying?" she asked, disgusted.

"Technically, you'll be staying here, Heather. My crib is an Airstream with A/C," was the response she got. She angrily stomped over to the other four.

"Hey, gorgeous. Wanna meet me at the campfire tonight?" Duncan asked her.

"Ew, drop dead," she told him.

Next was a boy with dark hair in a crew cut, wearing a green outfit and combat boots. He marched up to the host, saluted, and said, "Cadet Brick McArthur, reporting for duty, sir!"

"At ease, Cadet," said the host. "Excited to be here? Well, we'll soon cure you of that." He then smiled darkly. Brick, apparently not noticing, stood next to Eva.

Beth asked the two, "Are you related?"

Eva responded, "No, why?"

"It's just you look a lot alike," Beth explained.

Eva and Brick looked at each other, and simultaneously said, "Really? I don't see it."

Next were two girls, one pale and pudgy, the other thin and tanned. They had identical black-and-white striped tops and pink shorts, and they both wore their hair in pigtails. "Oh my gosh, Sadie! We're at a summer camp!" the thin one squealed.

"Oh my gosh, Katie! I always wanted to go to summer camp!" Sadie replied, also squealing.

"Me too!" Katie squealed, then they both let out a shattering "EEEEEE!"

Duncan whispered to the others, "I feel bad for whoever gets them on their team." Heather and Eva nodded.

Ninth was a pudgy black youth with a large afro and beard, wearing rather dingy clothing. As he stepped off the boat, he imitated the sound of trumpet fanfare perfectly. "Yo, Beardo! Think you can win with that talent of yours?" Chris asked. Beardo responded with the cha-ching of a cash register.

"Wow! You're really good at that!" Beth said, impressed. Beardo gave her a thumbs-up.

Tenth was a freckled black boy dressed in a wizard costume. "Greetings!" he said, before noticing the campground. "This does not appear to be the spa on the advertisement. Did an evil wizard transform it into this?"

Chris looked weirded out, and hesitantly answered, "No, Leonard. Let's just say I cast a deception spell to trick you all into coming."

"I'm impressed," Leonard replied. "That's a hard spell to master."

"I'd give him a wedgie if his cloak didn't reach the ground," Duncan whispered to Scott. Scott nodded, wincing as he did so.

Next was a thin, tanned boy with spiky hair wearing a teal t-shirt. "Hey," he said nervously.

"Hey, Mike!" Chris replied. "Excited to be here?"

"Nervous, really," Mike replied.

"Very wise," the host remarked. Mike then walked over to the others, seemingly too nervous to talk to anybody.

Duncan stared at him suspiciously. "Do I know you?" he asked.

Mike shrugged. "I don't think so."

Twelfth was a large black girl with hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing a beige shirt with pictures of fruit on it, and blue jeans. "Hey hey, LeShawna's in the house!" she declared. She walked up to Beardo and said, "Give me some sugar, brother!" She exchanged fist bumps with him.

The final camper off the third boat was a Hawaiian guy who was, to put it simply, gorgeous. The girls all visibly swooned at the sight of him, and a wolf whistle rang out. Duncan raised an eyebrow at Beardo, who looked back with a blank expression. "And, Justin!" Chris announced. "Just so you know, we picked you entirely based on your looks," he said to Justin.

"I know, and I'm okay with that," Justin replied. Chris then instructed the teens to wait at the campfire pit.

\---

The final boat arrived, and the first one off was a tall, thin, blond girl wearing a pink outfit. "Dakota here!" she shouted. "And I came to...win? Seriously, you cannot be expecting us to stay here," she complained. "I've stayed at five-star establishments, and this isn't even worth one star."

"Yeah, about that...I lied," was the host's response.

Dakota whipped out a cell phone, and said, "I'm gonna tell Daddy about this." But Chris took the phone, and replied, "No, you won't. No outside communication until the end of the season, so I'll be confiscating this." Dakota responded with a, "What? No fair," before walking to the end of the dock.

The second camper off was in considerably higher spirits. Dressed in a cowboy hat and unbuttoned pink shirt, the white boy jumped off of the boat and ran up to Chris, gave a thumbs-up, and said, "Chris McLean! Sup, man. It's an honor to meet you, man. "The Geoff-ster! Welcome to the island, man!" Chris responded. "Thanks, man!" Geoff high-fived the host, and then went to stand with Dakota.

Third from the boat was a handsome brown-haired boy wearing an outfit similar to Chris's. He strode over to the host, smiling, and said, "Chris! It is such an honor to be here. You know, you're something of a personal idol of mine! I'm your biggest fan!"

"Thanks, Topher! Though you may want to take up the 'biggest fan' thing with the purple-haired girl who arrived on the second boat," Chris replied.

Topher's expression immediately turned sour. "Oh, joy. Sierra," he said bitterly. He then seemed to brighten, and said to the host, "Awesome work on that figure skating show, by the way."

"Thanks, man! I knew I rocked that show!" Chris replied. Topher then walked over to the other two.

Fourth was a very tall black girl (and I do mean very tall) wearing khaki shorts and a khaki vest, as well as a matching hat. "G'day, mates!" she greeted the others. "After my flight, it's good to be back in the great outdoors."

"All the way from Australia, we have Jasmine!" Chris announced. "Having grown up in a country where all the animals can kill you, I think you'll do just fine here."

"Thanks, I guess," Jasmine replied.

The next camper jumped off the boat, like Geoff had done and Tyler had failed to do, and she hit her chin on the dock. Jasmine and Geoff quickly helped her up, and asked if she was hurt. She shook the water off of her like a dog, and responded with, "That felt so good! Except for hitting my head. Is this summer camp? That is so cool! Will there be paper-mache? Are we having lunch soon?"

"We'll have lunch after everybody is introduced, Izzy," said the host hesitantly. "Okay!" Izzy replied cheerfully.

Sixth was a small black boy wearing a red hoodie and glasses. "Fresh air? Plants? A real lake? People that aren't my mom? I've read about these things, but it's so exciting to see them in person!" he babbled excitedly.

"Well, you'll have some time to get used to them, Cameron," the host replied. "Just try not to get hurt."

"I will!" Cameron declared. "I may be scrawny, but I can still be a force to be reckoned with!" He gave the host a fist bump, and then immediately grabbed his fist in pain. "Ouch!"

Seventh was another small boy, this one of Indian descent. He had grayish-black hair, and he wore a teal sweater-vest over a polo shirt. "Has this place been thoroughly cleaned?" he asked Chris. "No, Dave, it has not," was the host's response. Dave shuddered.

Eighth was a blond girl in a blue sweatshirt and jean shorts and carrying a surfboard. "I thought we would be at a beach," she said.

"Sure we are, Bridgette. It's just a decrepit one," the host said, pointing at a sad-looking beach covered in litter. Bridgette sighed and walked towards the other campers, accidentally almost hitting Chris with her surfboard.

"Hi, I'm Geoff," Geoff greeted, and Bridgette turned towards him, almost hitting several other campers with the surfboard.

"Hey, watch it!" Dave shouted.

"Sorry," Bridgette turned to face him, almost hitting the other campers.

"Stand your board up before you give someone a concussion!" Dakota shouted. Bridgette apologized again and obliged.

Next was another blond girl, wearing a headscarf, cowboy boots, and a red outfit that drew attention to her rather large chest. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" she asked the host.

"It's me, Chris McLean," Chris answered. "The host? Of the show?"

"Oh, that's where I know you from." she realized.

"This is Lindsay, by the way," Chris said.

Tenth was a thin, brown-haired, geeky-looking boy. "Cody! The Codester! The Codemeister!" Chris announced. "Hello, I see the ladies have already arrived," Cody said in a pathetic attempt to be suave. "There are ladies here?" Lindsay asked, confused. Cody frowned.

Next was a big muscular boy with orange hair and freckles. "Rodney!" Chris greeted him. "Hey!" Rodney greeted him excitedly. He didn't really say much, but walked over to the others. They all paid him little attention.

Twelfth was a Portuguese-Canadian girl with freckles, wearing a gray-and-green outfit. "Courtney!" Chris announced. "Hi, you must be the other contestants. Nice to meet you all," she said cheerfully.

"And it's very nice to meet you," Cody replied in his not-at-all suave tone. Courtney gave him an annoyed look, and he backed off.

The final camper off the boat was a thin, sour-faced boy with short brown hair and green eyes wearing a brown jacket. Chris checked a piece of paper. "You're the last minute addition, right? What's your name again? Oh, right. Aiden!" Chris announced. Aiden scowled at him, choosing to say nothing.

"Now that everyone is here, let's meet the others at the campfire pit," said Chris, and the fourteen of them went to do so.

The other thirty-nine campers were in the middle of socializing, when Sierra saw Topher. "Oh, goody, Topher's here," she said sarcastically. "It's not good to see you again, poser."

Topher replied bitterly, "Better a poser than a backstabbing gossip like you. I look forward to seeing the look on your face when I beat you."

"I take it you two know each other?" Alejandro asked.

"He's my ex, who I'm going to totally humiliate," Sierra said bitterly. Topher was about to say something, but Sugar cut him off. "Y'all's both delusional, because there's only one winner in this here pageant, and that's gon' be me."

"Conflict already! I love it!" Chris shouted. "But we need to determine teams now. B, Dawn, Jasmine, Brick, Heather, Max, Leonard, Duncan, Amy, Samey, Ella, Beardo, and Beth, from this point onward, your team will be known as the Gophers!" Beardo thought for a moment, then imitated the squeaks and chirps of a gopher. Sammy, next to her twin, sighed.

"Scarlett, Courtney, Rodney, Tyler, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Topher, Sam, DJ, Mike, Sugar, and Katie, your team will be known as the Bass!"

"Wait, why do they get a gopher as their mascot and we get a fish? It's not fair, eh," Ezekiel asked.

"My show, my rules," Chris answered.

"And what excellent rules they are," said Topher.

"Nobody likes a suck-up, Topher!" Sierra shouted.

"And I suppose the way you've been fangirling over Chris is any different?" Topher retaliated.

But before Sierra could answer, Katie realized something. "Wait, that means Sadie and I are on different teams! We have to be on the same team, or I'll die!"

"And I'll break out in hives!" Sadie added. Chris refused to budge.

"Shawn, Noah, Lightning, Owen, Jo, Eva, Cody, Anne Maria, Izzy, Harold, Aiden, Cameron, and LeShawna, your team will be called the Moose!" "Sha-team!" Lightning shouted.

"See, they get a cool mascot," Ezekiel said bitterly to Tyler.

"And finally, Gwen, Geoff, Scott, Trent, Sadie, Bridgette, Staci, Justin, Sierra, Dave, Sky, Alejandro, and Zoey, you will be the Badgers!" Scott seemed less than pleased with this arrangement, but not as much so as Sadie. "But Katie's a Bass! I have to be a Bass!" Sadie complained.

Chris didn't listen. "All right, campers. You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition." The scene transitioned to Chris sitting in what looked like an outhouse. "You can also share your innermost thoughts on tape in here. Let the audience know what you're really thinking."

\---

Confessional: Gwen

Gwen was the first to use the confessional. "So far this sucks."

Confessional: Cameron

Cameron took his turn second. "I'm what is known as a bubble boy. Until a few hours ago, I had never done, well, anything. But even though I may not be strong, or have much life experience, I am still a force to be reckoned with." A butterfly landed on his shoulder, and he promptly fell. "Why must it be so heavy?"

Confessional: Loon

The third confessional was of a common loon putting on lipstick.

Confessional: Rodney

"Aww. I wanted to be on a team with my cousin Scott," Rodney said. "I'm not really that smart, but he is, so I figured if we worked together, we could do great."

Confessional: Scott

"I thought there would be two teams, and I had a strategy all planned out. But with four teams, it won't work." said Scott. "I'll need to rethink my approach to this game. For now, I'll just try to avoid attracting attention."

Confessional: Aiden

"Well, it's good to see that no one here is my intellectual equal, not that I'm surprised."

Confessional: Zoey

The sixth was of Zoey. "Wow! I can't believe I'm in an actual reality TV show! The people here seem nice. I hope they like me." She pondered. "I could use a few new friends. Or friends, period. What if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big? Am I trying too hard? You like me, right?"

End Confessional

\---

The scene shifted to the Badger and Moose cabins, where some of the campers were getting situated. Dave took one look at the interior of the cabins and started sputtering. "You can't seriously expect us to stay in this germ-infested dump!"

"For five million dollars? Yes, I can," Chris responded.

Jo and Eva were audibly shouting at each other inside the cabin, though the walls muffled the words too much for them to be distinguishable. Owen said, "I'm glad we're in a cabin with just guys," before realizing how that sounded, then tried to backpedal: "I mean, I like girls, I just don't want to sleep near them. I mean...crap!" He facepalmed.

Lightning brushed off the comment, saying "It's cool. Lightning don't judge." Noah, knowing what Owen meant, rolled his eyes.

Cameron asked, "Is it normal for female roommates to fight this aggressively?"

"Yes. You think this is bad? Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades didn't fight as much as my sisters did," Noah answered.

"I'd want to watch if I wasn't terrified of the two of them," Cody added.

"Even if I wasn't already planning on sleeping in a tree, I would just so I wouldn't have to hear that. At least I know that when the zombies come, we can just sic Eva and Jo on them," Shawn said. The guys all laughed.

Justin asked Chris, "Pardon me, are there any chaperones here?"

Chris answered, "You're all sixteen, the age of a CIT at a real summer camp. Well, fourteen in Cameron's case, but you get the point. And besides, I think the cameras are enough insurance that you won't get too far out of line. So, aside from myself and the staff, you will be unsupervised." Justin grinned, and Chris decided to remind him, "Just remember, having sex during the competition is grounds for disqualification."

Suddenly, a shriek came from the girls' side of the Gopher cabin. Everyone came running to see what the commotion was about, including Duncan, who was carrying an axe. Turns out, there was a roach on the floor, and Amy had freaked out. Duncan was about to kill it with the axe, but Dawn said "Stop!" She picked up the roach, and said to it, "You're safe now, little one," and took it outside.

Everyone was silent for a moment, then Heather said what was on everyone's mind. "Weird."

Amy added, "She'd better not think that's her pet, or anything." Dave shuddered.

\---

The scene shifted once again, this time to a lunchroom with four tables. A hulking black man wearing a chef's uniform shouted at the campers. "Listen up, maggots! I make it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down now!"

"Excuse me, will we be getting all the major food groups?" Beth asked.

"You'll be getting a load of shut the heck up!" The Chef yelled, as he served her a serving of brown slop. Beth backed up.

Dave asked, "Has this food been tested for viruses?" Chef glared at him, and Dave hastily said, "Forget I asked."

\---

Confessional: Dave

"As scared as I was of the germs in that food, I was more scared of the Chef."

End confessional

\---

Scott had a very different reaction to the food than everyone else. "Oh boy! Sloppy Joe's! Whose birthday is it?"

Gwen, who was behind him in line, stared at him, wide-eyed. She then looked at the Chef, and then at the stuff he had served her, and said, "I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved." The Chef stared at her for a moment, then smashed the stuff with a meat tenderizer. Gwen decided not to press the issue.

Chris entered via the main door, and said, "Welcome to the main lodge!" Geoff, unimpressed, asked, "Yo, dude. Can we order a pizza?" When a cleaver buried itself in the wall, he hastily apologized. "Whoa! It's cool, G! Brown slop is cool. Heh heh."

"Your first challenge begins," Chris declared, holding up one finger, "in one hour!" He then left.

"I wonder what we'll have to do," pondered Zoey.

"I'm sure it'll be just fine," said Trent. "They won't make us do a super-hard challenge on the first day, right?"

The scene cut to the campers standing atop a high cliff.

"Oh, [bleep]."


	2. Not So Happy Campers, Part 2

Chris: "Last time, on Total Drama Island, fifty-two teens signed up to compete in strenuous challenges at this crappy summer camp, then face the judgement of their peers."

Brick (atop cliff): "Oh, [bleep]."

\---  
(Theme song)  
\---

Chris stood near the cliff as the campers looked over the edge. "Okay," he began, "today's challenge is threefold. Your first challenge is to jump off this thousand-foot high cliff."

"Piece of cake," Jo said.

"If you'll look below, you will see two target areas," Chris elaborated. "The wider area represents the lake, which we have filled with psychotic, man-eating sharks!" This news caused several campers to blanch, particularly Scott and DJ. "Inside that area is a safe zone, which we're pretty sure is shark-free!"

"Could you repeat that?" Sammy asked.

Chris ignored her. "For every camper that jumps, and, you know, survives, a crate of supplies will be provided. With these supplies, your team will build a hot tub."

Dave objected to this part. "You realize hot tubs are basically breeding grounds for hepatitis, right?" Several of the others looked at him oddly.

"My great-great-uncle Steve invented hot tubs. Before him, if you wanted to be in hot water, you had to take a bath," Staci added.

Chris ignored them both. "You will not need all of your team to jump, but having too many teammates back out will put you at risk of not being able to finish your hot tub. Also, to get as many jumpers as possible, the team with the most jumpers gets some pull-carts to help transport their crates. Any questions?"

Beth raised her hand. "What if there's a tie for most jumpers?"

"Excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie!" Chris tossed Beth a chocolate-chip cookie, which she enthusiastically bit into. "In the event of a tie, the first-place teams each get carts, but not enough for all of their crates. If that's all, the Moose are up first!"

Izzy wasted no time. She leapt over the side, shouted "Cannonball!" and landed in the safe zone. Jo, Lightning, and Eva, not to be outdone, jumped too. They also hit the safe zone. Shawn looked a bit nervous, but he jumped too.

\---

Confessional: Shawn

"I'm not fond of things that can eat me. It's mostly zombies that freak me out, but sharks are bad business too. I'm just glad there are no mutant land sharks here. Or zombie mutant land sharks." He shuddered.

End confessional

\---

Aiden dived into the safe zone, but accidentally hit one of the buoys on his way down. He bounced off of it into the circle. Several of the campers on top of the cliff cringed.

Cody tried to impress the girls by diving, but his screams ruined the effect. Harold tried to do a fancy dive, but landed as he was doing a split. "Aah! My nuggets!" he screamed in a strangled voice.

Anne Maria decided to put up a fuss. "I ain't jumping," she declared. "I put too much work into this hair to get it wet now."

LeShawna wasn't hearing it. "Oh, yes you are. I am not losing this challenge because some spoiled little daddy's girl don't wanna get her hair wet. You're jumping."

"Make me!"

LeShawna threw Anne Maria off the cliff, missing the safe zone. One of the sharks tried to bite her, but it broke its teeth on her hair. The other two sharks decided not to take the risk.

LeShawna dived, and fortunately landed in the safe zone. Noah rolled his eyes and followed her.

Cameron took one look, and blanched. "I can't do it," he told the host. "If I try, I'll break every bone in my body."

Chris replied, "That's probably true. Unfortunately, that makes you a chicken. So you'll need to wear this for the rest of the day." He put a chicken hat on Cameron's head. "Chicken exit is that way," he said, pointing back down the hill.

Chris then turned to Owen. "Your team needs this point, so no pressure. Okay, there's pressure."

Owen looked down, then backed up, and said, "I am going to die now. I am going to frickin' die now."

\---

Confessional: Owen

"Yeah, I was scared. Thing is, I'm not that strong of a swimmer."

Confessional: Lightning

"So, I was sha-lookin' at the big dude, and I was thinkin', 'no way he makes it, right?'"

Confessional: Gwen

"I'm looking at him, and I think to myself, 'if he does this, he's going to die.'"

Confessional: Scarlett

"I knew he would survive as long as he hit the water. I certainly wouldn't like to hit it with that much surface area, though.

End confessional

\---

Owen jumped. He landed in the safe zone with a huge splash. The Moose cheered.

"So, that's twelve jumpers for the Moose! If you want your team to get the advantage, you'll need every member to dive! Up next are the Badgers!" Chris called.

"My great-uncle Josh invented diving. Before him, anyone who wanted to swim down had to use a lot of energy. Also, my great-great-great-grandma invented swimming. Before her, people just drowned, yah." Staci lied. Gwen decided to jump first just so she wouldn't have to hear the pudgy girl talk. Bridgette and Geoff dived next, followed by Alejandro, Sky, Trent, Sierra, and Zoey, in that order. Staci then realized that everyone was jumping, so she jumped too.

Justin landed outside the safe zone. The sharks swam up to him, but he calmly ripped his shirt off. With hearts in their eyes, the sharks carried him to shore, where all the girls and Owen were staring intently at him. Well, except for Sierra, who seemed to be purposely ignoring Justin, and Gwen, who tried to act like she wasn't paying attention, but still glanced at him a bit more than she would have if his shirt was on.

Atop the cliff, Dave refused to jump. "Are all you people insane? Five million dollars is a lot of money, but I'm not going to kill myself trying for it. I'm taking the chicken path," he decided. Chris placed a chicken hat on his head. He took it off and examined it. "Gross. But I guess it beats death." He then put it back on.

"Okay, that's ten jumpers and one chicken. We still have two left," Chris said.

"No! I can't jump without Katie!" Sadie whined.

"I'll switch with Katie," Scott volunteered. "It'll be a lot less annoying for the audience."

Chris considered this. "All right," he relented. "Scott, go stand with the Bass. Katie, you're up."

The BFFFLs hugged Chris and Scott, and then jumped. Fortunately, they landed in the safe zone. Dave arrived to his team, and was jeered by them.

\---

Confessional: Rodney

"Yay!"

Confessional: Scott

"I don't know what the best part of that team swap was. The fact that I get to be on a team with Rodney after all, the fact that I'm not on a team with the Wonder Twins, or that I don't have to jump yet. I REALLY don't like sharks."

End confessional

\---

"Bass, you're up!" Chris called. Tyler was the first to jump, shouting, "Extreme!" It would have been impressive if he hadn't landed on one of the buoys.

"I'll save you, Tyson!" Lindsay shouted, and jumped. She actually did land in the safe zone.

Scott was trying to slink away from the cliff side, but Rodney picked him up and jumped. Scott screamed the entire way down. Fortunately, they both landed in the safe zone.

Dakota said, "I don't know if I can risk ruining my makeup by jumping."

Chris shrugged. "It's that or the chicken hat."

Dakota thought about this for a moment, then jumped. She landed in the safe zone.

Scarlett rolled her eyes and jumped into the safe zone. Ezekiel managed to land in the safe zone too, despite hitting the cliff wall on his way down.

Sugar, however, landed outside the safe zone. The sharks swam over to her, but the water around her turned green and bubbled. The sharks swam away, deciding the prize was not worth the battle.

DJ refused to jump. "Scared of heights?" Chris asked. "Yes, but more importantly, I'm scared of the water. Ever since I was a little kid." DJ explained. Chris gave him a chicken hat. Courtney scoffed, and jumped.

"I just want to tell you what a great first challenge this is," said Topher to the host. "Really separates the winners from the chumps, if you know what I mean."

"Thanks, Topher!" Chris said. "But you really should get to jumping." "Right," said Topher, and he jumped. He landed in the safe zone.

Mike got nervous. "I don't know if I can do this," he worried. Then the look on his face changed, and he confidently said, "But Olympic champion Svetlana is up to the task!" He then executed a perfect swan dive and landed in the safe zone.

\---

Confessional: Mike

"So...I have Multiple Personality Disorder. I haven't told anyone because I don't want to be defined by my disorder while I'm here. I'll tell them eventually, just...not before I've established my own identity here first."

End confessional

\---

Sam jumped last, emboldened by the fact that Owen jumped and survived. Upon landing safely, he shouted, "Level complete!"

"The scores are tied with twelve-all, with one team left to go! The Gophers will need all of their members to jump to win the advantage!" Chris called.

Amy said, "I'm not jumping. We're on national TV, and I'm not getting my hair wet. Samey can jump twice."

"Sorry, that's not how it works," Chris said.

Max said, "Evil does not jump off cliffs! Evil pushes other people off cliffs!" He then pushed Amy off the cliff. She landed in the safe zone.

"Samey, get down here right now!" Amy shouted. Sammy sighed and jumped.

Duncan made a "go ahead" gesture to Max, who repeated himself: "Evil does not jump off cliffs!" Duncan then pushed Max off the cliff.

"Anyone else?" the delinquent asked. Heather, who had been contemplating making a fuss, decided to jump. Beth followed, not really wanting to be shoved off.

Beardo jumped, making a cartoon falling sound effect as he fell. Ella went next, landing outside the safe zone. The sharks swam up to her.

"Dear sharks, I assure you, I'm no cause for alarm," she sang, "And I would prefer that you do me no harm." The sharks, charmed by her singing, took her to shore.

Dawn jumped, followed by B. Brick went next, then Jasmine, then Duncan. "And the Gophers get all thirteen members to jump! They win the pull carts!" Chris announced, to the joy of the Gophers and the groans of the other teams.

The Gophers soon set out, with five carts between which the thirteen crates were divided. B, Jasmine, Brick, Duncan, and Beardo had volunteered to pull the carts, though the first three each had three carts while Duncan and Beardo each had two. The team, minus B and Beardo, sang '99 Bottles of Beer On the Wall' as they walked. Beardo imitated a synth line to harmonize with his teammates.

The other teams were struggling, but the Moose were doing the best of the three. Eva, Jo, and Lightning all carried one crate on each shoulder. Cameron came up with the plan for the others: Aiden and Noah carried one of the six remaining crates, Owen took one, LeShawna took one, Izzy and Cody worked together to take one, Harold, Cameron, and Anne Maria worked together to carry one, and Shawn took the last. Anne Maria had been a bit difficult to convince to do any carrying, but at risk of Jo's wrath, she did help.

Scarlett came up with the plan for the Bass. "Rodney, can you carry two crates?" Rodney nodded. Scarlett said, "You do that. Dakota and I are the two physically weakest team members, so we'll work together with Lindsay and Sam, who are also not particularly athletic. Everyone else, just pick up your crate." Rodney stared at Scarlett, wide-eyed.

\---

Confessional: Rodney

"She trusts me with more responsibility than the others! She has faith in me! It must be a sign!"

Confessional: Scott

"Oh, great. This again. He gets like this all the time around girls. I try to explain to him that not every girl he interacts with is into him, but I can't seem to get him to realize that."

End confessional

\---

The Badgers weren't doing too badly. Most of their team members were at least athletic enough to lift their crates. Dave, not having a crate of his own, helped Sky, who was able to carry her crate but couldn't see where she was going because of it. Staci told fabricated stories about her family as they walked, oblivious to her teammates' annoyed expressions.

\---

Confessional: Dave

"I think my team is the most normal of the four, for the most part. I'm glad I don't have to deal with the cosplayer, the beatboxer, the princess wannabe, the ditzy blonde, or the two angry girls on the Moose team. But did we have to get Staci? I almost hope we lose so we can vote her out."

Confessional: Gwen

"Does she ever shut up?"

End confessional

\---

As the Badgers carried their crates, Katie said, "I have to go to the bathroom."

Sadie looked at her. "Oh my gosh, so do I."

Dave looked at them. "Can't you hold it?" The two shook their heads and ran off.

Dave sighed. "Suit yourselves. I'd have to be pretty desperate to go to the bathroom in nature. Dirty, bug-infested, germy nature. Human beings aren't meant to spend time in it. Not to mention the lack of soap." He thought for a moment. "I'm beginning to miss the hobo-looking guy. Sure, he smelled like a dumpster, but at least he had some muscle."

Several of his teammates looked at him.

\---

Confessional: Geoff

"Man, that Dave guy is a downer."

Confessional: Bridgette

"I don't like to judge people based on first impressions, but I don't think I like Dave very much. He seems like the kind of person who will just complain and let everyone else carry his weight."

End confessional

\---

The Gophers arrived at the cabin well ahead of the others, and set their crates down. Seeing that Chris gave them no tools to open them, Heather complained, "Great. How are we supposed to open these stupid things?" "Quiet," said Dawn. "I sense B has an idea."

She was right. B picked up a rock and a large stick, and used it to catapult one of the crates into the air. It fell to the ground and broke. Some of the items inside were ruined, but B had found what he was after: a crowbar. He then used it to open the other crates.

"Nice job, idiot! You ruined the supplies in the crate!" Amy shouted. Jasmine reminded her, "We don't need all of the crates, remember? Chris had it set up so that a few people could chicken out without ruining the project."

\---

Confessional: Jasmine

"Most of my teammates seem okay, but Amy really gets on my nerves."

End confessional

\---

B began to build at a rapid rate. By the time the other three teams arrived, the Gophers' hot tub was fully built and functional. His teammates all congratulated him: "Well done, soldier!" "Excellent job, mate!" "You are truly a craftsman of great skill." Even Amy begrudgingly admitted that B had done a great job.

B then took the remaining pieces, and began to build something else. Duncan pulled out a can of spray paint, and spray painted a "G" on the side of the hot tub.

The other teams saw the hot tub, and rushed to find a way to open their own crates. Rodney managed to pry open one of the crates, then cried out because he had gotten several splinters. Scarlett gave Sam a pair of tweezers and let him help Rodney, while she coordinated her team to build their hot tub.

The Moose managed to open their crates fairly quickly as well, after Eva used one of Harold's ninja throwing stars to pry open some of the crates. Harold objected to this, but Eva refused to listen. After finding a crowbar, Eva returned the throwing star to Harold, bent.

\---

Confessional: Harold

"Okay, I'm hiding my ninja gear. I don't want Eva ruining any more of it."

End confessional

\---

Cameron decided to step up. "I know how to build a water heater, so I think I should handle that part."

"Why should we sha-listen to you, sha-chicken?" Lightning demanded, but Shawn defended him. "He says he knows how to build a water heater, and we need a functional water heater. If he thinks he can do it, let him. And if he fails, then we'll know who to vote off." As it turns out, Cameron didn't fail, and the Moose managed to build a decent hot tub.

While the Badgers were still trying to get their crates open, Katie and Sadie started scratching their butts vigorously. "Why does it itch so much?" Sadie squealed.

"Wait, did you squat over a small, low-to-the-ground plant with leaves in groups of three?" Bridgette asked.

"Maybe?" Katie said.

"That was poison ivy," Bridgette told her. Katie and Sadie shrieked and ran into the water to cool their itches.

Dave shouted after them, "See what happens when you don't wait to use an actual toilet?" He then turned away. "Let's just get this hepatitis-trap built."

The Badgers didn't do all that well in terms of actual building. Despite some of them trying hard, they didn't work together all that well, and none of them were as technologically skilled as B, Scarlett, or Cameron. Others, such as Dave and Justin, didn't really contribute to the building. Trent built the heater properly, but it took him longer, and he ended up unable to work on the tub section. Their hot tub wasn't horrible, but it wasn't good either.

B then finished his creation. It was a stereo for the hot tub. It was rudimentary, but B turned it on and it did play music. Chris looked at the stereo with interest.

Chris examined the four hot tubs. He then said, "Okay, it should be pretty obvious that the Gophers won. And it should be equally obvious that the Badgers lost." Some members of the Bass and the Moose looked downcast, but they perked up when they heard the host continue, "But even if you didn't win, you at least get a sweet hot tub that you'll be able to rock all summer!" The Gophers then were pleased to hear, "And as a prize for winning, the Gophers also get real food cooked by an actual chef for tonight and tomorrow, plus an advantage for next challenge. Badgers, I will see you at elimination tonight."

\---

Confessional: Zoey

"Hmm, who to vote for. On one hand, Staci kinda annoyed everyone, but on the other hand, Dave was kinda rude to everyone, and he doesn't seem like he wants to be here."

End confessional

\---

The scene skipped forward to the elimination ceremony, where the members of the Badgers were sitting around the campfire. "At an ordinary camp, marshmallows represent a tasty treat to be eaten around the campfire. Here, marshmallows represent life," explained the host. "If you do not receive a marshmallow, you must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave the island, never to return. First, the campers who received no votes. Gwen, Trent, Alejandro, Bridgette, Katie, Geoff, Justin, Sadie, Zoey, Sky, and Sierra," he said, throwing a marshmallow to each camper as he called their name.

"Dave, you let your team down by not jumping, and you annoyed most of them with your complaining. Staci, you annoyed pretty much everyone here with your stories. The final marshmallow goes to..."

"Staci."

"Fine. I didn't want to be here anyway," Dave said, a bit offended. "Have fun in germ-infested nature."

Dave then walked down the Dock of Shame, and boarded the Boat of Losers. After it had left, with him on it, Chris turned to the others and said evilly, "The rest of you are safe. For tonight."

The scene shifted to the Gophers at their hot tub party. They were all enjoying themselves greatly. Aiden walked past them, to the confessional outhouse.

\---

Confessional: Aiden

"Let those rodents party for now. But a real competitor knows that there can only be one winner. And it's gonna be me."

End confessional

\---

Reasons for elimination: Dave wasn't initially going to be my first boot, but as my least favorite Total Drama contestant, he was never going to make it far. I wasn't initially sure whether to write him as more likable than in canon or make him just as awful as in canon so Alejandro could easily convince Sky or Zoey, whichever he would have pursued, to get rid of him. I came to the compromise of not writing him at all beyond this point. After all, he's one of the weakest links on the Badgers, and getting rid of him probably made the team stronger.

Thoughts on Dave in canon? He's an emotionally immature little puke stain who has no business being on reality TV, and I hated him from Day 1. He was emotionally abusive towards Sky and highly judgmental towards everyone else.

And to the people who ship Skave, may I ask why? He emotionally manipulated Sky, abused her emotions for his own benefit, and TRIED TO KILL HER! Sure, Sky made some mistakes, but there is no reason to suspect that he WOULDN'T still lash out violently at her if she had actually told him she had a boyfriend. Skave was a combination of everything bad about Duncney and everything bad about Zoke with none of the positives. So, in conclusion, Dave had to go.

Elimination order:

52: Dave, the Germaphobe


	3. The Big Sleep

The episode opened with Chris sounding an air horn into a megaphone outside the cabins. The contestants all piled out, with only Beth, Scott, Rodney, Ezekiel, and Brick not looking tired. Shawn fell out of a nearby tree, and shouted, "Zombies!" Jasmine jumped down from another tree, not looking the worse for wear.

Staci said, "I'm kinda wishing my great-great-great-great uncle Richard hadn't invented the megaphone right now." Her teammates rolled their eyes at the lie, but they agreed with the sentiment.

"Morning," Chris greeted way too cheerfully. "Hope you slept well, because your challenge begins in one minute!"

"How are we supposed to eat breakfast in one minute?" Owen asked the host.

"And I haven't gotten enough beauty sleep!" Dakota, who was wearing sunglasses, complained.

"Don't worry about that, you look beauti—GREAT SUNS OF ORION!" Sam exclaimed, as Dakota removed her sunglasses, revealing the huge bags under her eyes.

"Anyway, back to the breakfast thing?" Owen prompted.

"Oh, you'll get breakfast. _After_ you complete your twenty kilometer run around the lake!" The campers groaned.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you," demanded Eva angrily.

Chris smirked. "A little. You have thirty seconds!"

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"For your information, viewers, the run was only two kilometers, not twenty. Similarly, the cliff was actually only one hundred feet high, not one thousand. I bring it up in case our host's poor math skills become significant later."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene cut to the teens running. Lightning, Eva, and Jo were in front, obviously trying to one-up each other. Heather was strolling at a more leisurely pace, and several campers bumped into her. Each time, she shouted, "Watch it!"

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I don't run in high heeled wedges. Also, this is a long race, so they might want to pace themselves."

**End confessional**

* * *

The queen bee walked up to a puddle, where Owen was gasping for breath. "Can't run. Must (pant) have (pant) condition."

"Yeah, it's called overeating. Look into it," she replied.

"And what's your excuse, you skinny, annoying, whew! Too tired for insults." LeShawna tried to insult Heather.

"Come on, Samey! Hurry up! You're going to make us lose!" Amy shouted at her twin as she passed the three of them. "You too, Heather! Stop being lazy like these slobs and actually try!"

"I hate her," Heather commented to LeShawna.

"So do I, girl. So do I."

"Pick it up, people! If you don't arrive in time for dinner, you don't eat!" Chris's voice blared over the loudspeaker. The three teenagers groaned and got back to running.

Sam and Dakota found themselves running next to each other, and Sam tried to talk to her. "Sorry about earlier, I was just so taken by your beautiful...nostrils!"

* * *

**Confessional: Sam**

"Nostrils? Really?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Thanks? I like your...let me get back to you on that, okay?" Dakota said awkwardly. Sam facepalmed.

* * *

The scene shifted to the interior of the mess hall, where forty-six contestants were waiting for the other six. Sam and Dakota arrived, then Owen ran into the hall, carrying an unconscious Cameron. "Clear a table, stat!" Owen shouted as he slammed Cameron down on a table, and started trying to give him CPR. Noah and Max were the last ones through the door, both looking like they were on the brink of collapse.

"Evil...is not...intended...to run," Max panted.

Heather glared at him. "Well, _evil_ is the reason we just lost the challenge."

"It's okay!" Leonard declared. "I know a rejuvenation spell that will get you back to peak condition. Exhausticus reversicus!"

Amy scowled at Leonard. "Freak."

"Hold on now! That wasn't the challenge!" Chris said. The others looked at him. "Who's hungry?" He pulled back a curtain, revealing a...well, a feast.

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"After eating Chef's food for two days, that buffet was amazing. I almost cried at the sight of it."

**Confessional: Duncan**

"Yes, we on the Gophers had real food last time, but it was essentially just take-out from fast food places. This was a real gourmet meal."

**Confessional: Owen**

"It was a beautiful sight! The turkey, the mashed potatoes, the baked beans with syrup...I need a moment." He started crying.

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene shifted to after the feast had been completely eaten. The campers were mostly lying down, faces covered in food. It was at that moment that Chris jumped onto the table, and declared, "Alright, campers! Time for the second part of your challenge!"

"I thought eating was the second part," Owen answered.

"Yeah, haven't we been through enough?" Scott complained.

"Nope! It's time for... _The Awake-a-thon!_ " Chris answered.

"The what-a-thon?" Alejandro asked.

"Don't worry, it's fairly simple. Last player awake wins it for their team."

"So, the run and the feast...were just to make it harder for us to stay awake?" Jo ventured. "Clever."

"Move! Move! Move!" Chris ushered the teens to the campfire pit.

"So, how long do you think it will take everyone to fall asleep?" Trent asked Gwen.

She thought for a moment, then answered, "About an hour, give or take."

* * *

A voice-over from Chris was heard: "It's twelve hours in, and all fifty-one campers are still awake."

"Woo! Twelve hours! I can stay awake for that long in my sleep!" Owen shouted, then, as if on cue, fell over asleep.

"Make that fifty," Chris said, as a counter showed 13 campers awake for both the Gophers and the Bass, and 12 for the Moose and the Badgers.

Sam and Dakota were sitting together, and Dakota was ranting to Sam. "I can't believe Chris took my phone! I could have sent, like, a thousand texts by now if it wasn't for him. This challenge is gonna be a lot harder because of him."

Sam looked at Dakota, and she looked slightly pixelated to him. "You know, we're actually a lot alike," he said.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"No, no, I mean about our tech addictions. Trust me, we're nothing alike otherwise."

"Aww, thanks. Anyway, sorry if I'm being kinda mean, it's just...I don't really know if I'm cut out for this, you know? I'm trying to get more famous, make as much of an impression on people as possible. But it's harder than I realized," Dakota admitted.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I'm not so sure my gaming skills will really translate well to this kind of game, really. I'm probably going to be eliminated in not too long. Still, it'd be nice to at least say I got to do some things I'd never done before. Hey, if you like, we could try to keep each other awake..." Sam trailed off as he realized Dakota had fallen asleep.

Ezekiel and Scott were sitting next to each other, and Ezekiel decided to talk to Scott. "I'm kinda surprised Sugar outlasted Owen, eh."

Scott replied, "Well, Owen isn't exactly the poster boy for good health. Wouldn't you agree?"

Ezekiel said, "I guess. But neither is Sugar, eh, and she's a _girl_."

Scott looked around, but no one seemed to have heard Ezekiel's remark. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ezekiel said, "Well, guys are stronger and smarter and better at sports than girls, aren't they?"

Scott looked a bit nervous. "Look, you've been homeschooled all your life, right? So, you probably don't know much about the real world. So, I won't tell anyone what you said. But you need to stop thinking that. Girls aren't weaker or less smart than guys. They're unpredictable and dangerous, and if you get on their bad side, you'll get hurt really badly. So, drop that line of thinking."

Ezekiel looked grateful. "Gee, thanks. You could have saved me from gettin' in a lot a' trouble, eh."

"Don't mention it."

It was around that time that Sugar fell asleep.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Sure, I could have let him get himself eliminated. But I do need allies if I want to do well in this game. Ezekiel is clueless enough to do whatever I say, so him being eliminated doesn't benefit me."

**End confessional**

* * *

Rodney, a bit starry-eyed, purposely sat next to Scarlett. She looked at him. "Hearts...love, and sleep, running...you..." the farm boy mumbled incoherently. She gave him a confused look. Scott walked over to him, and pulled him away from her. "I'll take this," he said. Scarlett shrugged.

"Look, I don't know what she did to make you think she was into you, but you probably interpreted it wrong," Scott told his cousin.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Rodney's a good kid, but he's also _special._ I'm sure if I wasn't here, he'd mostly just be brushed off before being eliminated."

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Scott's smart, but he doesn't know anything about love. He's never had a girlfriend. Unlike me. I've had lots of girlfriends. Like Justine, Destiny, Sarah, Brooke, Andrea...Oh! I never got a chance to break up with her! I hope she's not mad at me..."

**End confessional**

* * *

Justin walked over to Alejandro and sat down next to him, many of the girls staring at them. He whispered to Alejandro, "Look, you and I are the two hottest guys on the island, easily. We should team up."

Alejandro nodded. "Us handsome guys have to stick together."

* * *

**Confessional: Justin**

"I know I seem like just a pretty face, but I'm also a strategist. I figure most of the guys on the island aren't as hot as me. Sure, Trent and Geoff aren't ugly at all, but they're not on my level. Alejandro, however, is almost as hot as I am, so I want him on my side for now. If we team up, we'll have the girls on our team eating out of our hands. Then, when Al messes up, I'll get him voted out."

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"It's obvious that Justin plans to manipulate the girls on the island with his good looks, and he offered me an alliance because I'm the only one who could get in his way. So I'll string him along for now. Then, when he's no longer useful, I'll engineer his defeat, just like everyone else.

**End confessional**

* * *

Trent and Gwen were sitting next to each other, both tired. "This sucks," Gwen stated simply.

"It could be worse," Trent replied.

"How?"

"I could be stuck here without you to talk to." Gwen smiled at this, but then Staci decided to interrupt them with one of her stories about her made-up relatives. Gwen and Trent both sighed.

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"The awake-a-thon was horribly brutal, but I think Staci made it even worse. Her constant lies tired me out way faster than I would have without her here. Seriously, Dave was useless, but I think Staci actually makes everyone else on our team worse at challenges just by being here!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Beth, Beardo, and Ella had decided to sit together, and Beardo was entertaining the two of them by making noises. "Ooh! Do a pig now, just like on the farm!" Beth requested. Beardo obliged, perfectly imitating the squeal of a pig. Suddenly, Heather walked over to them and asked, "Could I talk to you guys for a minute?"

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I have a strategy. I'll make an alliance to get me and three other people to the final four. And from the looks of those three, getting them to do what I say shouldn't be too hard."

**End confessional**

* * *

She led the three of them away from the group, and said quietly, "Look, I'm planning on starting an alliance to take three people to the final four, and I chose you guys. Are you in?" The three eagerly nodded. "Okay, we'll meet to talk about the alliance more in-depth after the challenge. For now, just don't tell anyone about it."

Ella asked, "If I may ask, why did you choose us? Not that I'm complaining, I would just like to know."

Heather thought for a moment, then answered. "You seemed like my best options. Brick, Jasmine, Duncan, and B all seem like really strong competitors. Good for challenges, but if I tried to ally with them, they might think I needed them more than they needed me. Leonard and Max, on the other hand, are weak. I won't be able to protect them. Dawn freaks me out. I'm not sure about Sammy yet. As for Amy? Never."

Beth nodded. "Yeah. She seems really mean." Beardo nodded in agreement.

Heather said, "Once the challenge is over, meet me behind the cabin."

* * *

(24 Hour Mark)

By this point, Leonard, Max, Topher, Sam, Anne Maria, Cameron, Harold, Izzy, Lindsay, Noah, Zoey, Katie, and Sadie had all fallen asleep. Staci was talking to Sky, and she looked like she was about to be next. Tyler fell asleep, then a bear jumped out of the bushes and woke him and Zoey up.

Trent and Gwen were sitting together, getting to know each other. "Favorite song?" Gwen asked.

Trent thought for a moment, and replied, "She Would Be Loved. Favorite color?"

Gwen replied, "Midnight blue."

"Ooh. Mysterious. Favorite movie moment?"

"You're gonna think it's cheesy."

"I promise I won't."

"Okay. The kiss at the end of that road trip movie. You know, the one with the guy and the three girls?"

"I know the one. You like that movie?"

"Hey, you said you weren't gonna judge," she said in mock offense.

"You're right, you're right."

"Congratulations campers!" Chris said to those still awake. "You have reached the 24-hour mark. Time to kick things up a notch." He pulled out a book. "Fairy tales!"

"Oh, he cannot be serious." Gwen groaned.

"Once, there was a boring kingdom, filled with boring people," Chris began. Many of the campers looked like they were about to fall asleep. DJ, in an attempt to stay awake, tied himself to a tree, but he fell asleep anyway and took the tree with him.

"Timber," Gwen said.

* * *

(29:26)

"Is your sister always like that?" Brick asked Sammy.

"As long as I can remember," Sammy said, looking about to fall asleep.

"That's not right. Family should support you, no matter what. If you can't count on her, who can?" Brick said, disgusted.

Sammy sighed. "Yeah."

"You know, if you want to talk about it..." he offered.

Amy was observing the interaction between the two of them, though unable to hear them. She scowled.

* * *

**Confessional: Amy**

"Samey getting a boyfriend? Oh my _gag_. And she really thinks she has a shot with Brick? Well, this just gets more and more pathetic. Soon, he'll see what a loser she is. And if not, well, I guess he's a loser then, too."

**Confessional: Brick**

"Sammy? She's a total sweetheart, definitely doesn't deserve to have a sister as awful as Amy. She honestly reminds me of me before I went to military school. Yeah, I also got bullied a lot growing up, so I definitely understand what she's going through."

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Brick is _such_ a gentleman. He actually listens to me, and he is so supportive." She paused. "He's kinda cute, too."

**End confessional**

* * *

(52:00)

On the Gophers team, Beardo and Ella had fallen asleep. So had B and Dawn, the latter of whom had curled up like a cat on B's stomach. When they woke up, Dawn climbed off and they looked away from each other awkwardly. Beth fell asleep about this time.

On the Bass, only Scott, Rodney, and Ezekiel were left. However, they all looked like they still had quite a bit left in reserve.

On the Moose, the three mega-jocks were still awake, as was Shawn. Unlike the other three, he was sitting still, conserving his energy. He didn't even look tired. "How are you not tired?" Gwen asked him.

"Training for the zombie apocalypse. I'm not gonna get my brain eaten just because I haven't slept in a while," he responded, getting a few odd looks.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Zombies are real, and I'm gonna survive the apocalypse. I just hope if it happens on the mainland, Chris will know. Getting trapped here with the zombies outside might not be so bad, but if we get sent back into a horde of walkers..."

**End confessional**

* * *

On the Badgers, only Gwen, Trent, Justin, and Staci were left. Justin was standing a bit away from everyone else, still as a statue. "Look at him," the goth girl said to the other two. "Still as a statue. He hasn't moved in hours!"

Eva walked over to him and waved her hand in front of his face. Getting no reaction, she looked closer, then realized something. "Hey, his eyelids are painted on!"

Chris ran over. "Shut up. Oh, I have got to see this." He poked the model, who blinked and smiled. "That is so freakin' cool, but you're still out." Justin frowned and walked away.

* * *

(75:00)

Staci had managed to bore Trent, Duncan, and even the three mega-jocks to sleep before falling asleep herself. Rodney was looking like he was on the brink of collapse.

"I can't go on any further," he said dramatically. "Tell my story!" He then fell, shaking the ground.

Chris gestured at Gwen, Shawn, Scott, Ezekiel, Jasmine, and Brick. "You six stay with me," he said to them. To the others, who were either sleeping or trying to keep their teammates from being bored, he said, "The rest of you, go take a shower. You all stink!" They complied, the awake campers waking the sleepers.

Chris took a sip of coffee. "I didn't want it to come to this," he said. "I said to Chef, 'Chef, I don't want it to come to this. But darn it, these campers are tough.' So I came up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I could find."

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"You know what? Bring it on!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris pulled out a book. "The History of Canada: A Pop-Up Book." he read, then opened it to display a beaver. "Chapter 1, the beaver. National symbol, and a 'dam' fine hat." Jasmine fell asleep, and the other five groaned.

Eventually, with even Chris losing count of the hours, Gwen, Ezekiel, and Brick all fell asleep. Chris said, "Okay, so the Badgers lose again, and the Gophers' five minutes of extra time begin!"

"Extra time?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, as a reward for winning the last challenge," the host explained. Scott groaned, and fell over, sleeping. Shawn, however, was able to outlast the clock, and Chris shouted, "And, the official winner of the Awake-a-thon is Shawn!" Shawn chose that moment to fall asleep.

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"I didn't do nearly as well as I should have, and I think I know why."

**End confessional**

* * *

Behind the Gopher cabin, Heather was going over the alliance rules with her three new alliance mates. "Now tell me what the rules of the alliance are," she said.

Beth answered: "Rule one: Do what you say in challenges and votes. Rule two: do not talk about the alliance in front of anyone else."

Ella took the third rule: "And do not lose a challenge for our team, as you will not be able to defend us if we do."

Heather smiled and nodded. "Good. If we play our cards right, we can make it to the final four." Beardo made a victory noise at this, and Beth gave him a high-five.

* * *

At the campfire ceremony, Chris heckled the team. "You Badgers just can't catch a break, can you? There are twelve of you here, but only eleven marshmallows on this plate. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never return. With no votes, Gwen! Trent! Geoff! Bridgette! Alejandro! Justin! Sierra! Sky! Zoey! Katie!" As he shouted the campers' names, he tossed marshmallows to them.

"Staci, you're on the chopping block for your constant lying."

"Hey! My stories are _true_!" Staci said indignantly.

"Well, your teammates wouldn't agree, seeing as how you're the only member of your team who _didn't_ vote for you. Sadie, you get the last marshmallow." He tossed Sadie the marshmallow, and she eagerly ate it.

Staci sighed and walked towards the Boat of Losers. She boarded, and the boat sailed away. Chris then looked back at the eleven remaining Badgers.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight_."


	4. Dodgebrawl

The episode opened with the campers in the mess hall eating breakfast. Some looked very tired, particularly Scott, Brick, and Gwen. Shawn looked tired too, but not nearly as much so as the other three.

"Ugggh...How the heck are you not on the floor?" Scott asked.

"I've been prepping for the zombie apocalypse for years, dude. I sleep in a _tree._ " Shawn responded as he picked a leaf out of his hat. "I can handle a little sleep loss."

"Hey there, campers." Chris greeted. "Challenge day!"

"But yesterday was a challenge day!" Dakota complained. "Today's supposed to be a free day!"

"Well, the last challenge spanned multiple days, so we had to have a few instances of challenges two days at a time. Don't worry, they'll be spaced out reasonably. But I'm not an unreasonable man..." Chris trailed off, leaving some of the campers hopeful that he would say something good for them.

"So," he continued, "Brick, Scott, Shawn, and Gwen, as the last ones to fall asleep on their respective teams, do not have to participate in this challenge, and are immune from votes this campfire ceremony. They can go back to bed." Some of the campers were disappointed, others seemed to think it was fair.

"Now, follow me to the challenge."

* * *

The scene shifted to reveal a plexiglass arena, with the campers in bleachers to the sides of the arena. A whistle blew, and the camera panned over to reveal Chef in a referee's uniform. Chris stood by a pile of red rubber balls.

Chris began speaking. "Today's challenge is the classic game of dodgeball. The first rule of dodgeball is—"

"Do not talk about dodgeball?" Noah interrupted. Some of the campers chuckled.

" _As I was saying_ ," Chris continued, "if you get hit by a ball," he threw a ball at Sammy, "you're out." The ball hit her, and she doubled over in pain. Amy laughed, which caused many of her teammates to glare at her.

"Nice throw, Chris!" Topher called to the host, tossing the ball back to him.

"Thanks, Topher." Chris responded. "As I was saying, if you catch the ball, the thrower is sent out, and the catcher gets to bring in another of their teammates."

"Nice catch, Chris!" Sierra blurted out.

"Thanks? It wasn't hard, but whatever." Chris said. "Let's see now...Lightning, try to hit me."

"Sha-Yeah!" Lightning shouted as he picked up a ball and prepared to throw it at Chris.

"If you're holding a ball, you can use it to deflect another ball. But..." Chris explained as he demonstrated with the ball Lightning threw at him. The he dropped his ball purposefully. "If it knocks your ball out of your hands, you're out."

Noah rolled his eyes. "Gee, throwing balls, another mentally challenging test," he deadpanned.

"I know, right?" Lindsay said, missing the sarcasm.

Amy grinned deviously. "So, what do we do when the ball comes flying toward us?"

Chris frowned. "You _dodge!_ " He threw a ball at her, and Amy pulled Sammy in front of her, using her as a human shield. The ball hit her, and she doubled over in pain again. "You were supposed to dodge!" Chris chastised her. Amy's teammates glared at her even harder.

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"I don't like that Amy girl, not one bit. I think she's bad for the team, and as soon as we lose, she should b the first one voted off."

**Confessional: Heather**

"You're making this too easy, Amy. At this rate, Weird Wizard Kid will outlast you."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Are you all right?" Jasmine asked, concerned, as she helped Sammy up.

"I'll be fine..." the nice twin responded, a bit weakly.

"You know, you really shouldn't let her push you around like that," Jasmine commented.

"Moose won the last round, so they get the court to themselves for five minutes to determine their starting lineup." Chris called. The other three teams exited.

Jo spoke up. "All in favor of keeping Bubble-Boy off the court?" Everyone's hands went up. "Okay. Everyone else on the floor. I wanna see what you can do."

"Who put you in charge?" Lightning demanded.

"We're wasting time," Jo said. "We have to see who's good at the game, and who's not."

The Moose complied, albeit a bit begrudgingly in some cases. Lightning and Eva excelled in the practice round, as expected. Owen was also surprisingly excellent at dodgeball. So was Cody, for that matter. LeShawna, Aiden, Izzy, and Anne Maria were average. Noah did badly, and Harold couldn't do anything other than dodge.

"I've seen enough," Jo said. "Our starters will be me, Brightning, Choking Hazard, Psycho, and String Bean." She indicated Anne Maria, Izzy, and Cody. "Eva, Butter Ball, I'm keeping you in reserve in case we have to switch out our lineup. Forehead, Bubble-Boy, under no circumstances are you to play."

"Fine by me. Sports aren't my forte anyway," Noah said. Eva was upset, but she nodded.

The three other teams came back in, not having been allowed to watch the Moose practice. Chris called, "Matches will be best of three. Each team must switch out one member of their starting lineup per round, except the Badgers. And the Moose will have one win for each match to start with, as reward for winning last time. Now, let's begin. First match: Gophers vs. Bass!

===Round 1===

On the Gophers, Duncan was in a mood. He spread out on the bleachers, and said, "Wake me, and you're dead."

Jasmine decided to take charge. "B, Amy, Sammy, Beardo, you're with me on the court."

"Don't mess this up, _Samey_." Amy said rudely.

On the Bass, Courtney and Rodney were both trying to take charge. "Okay, So here's the plan," both said at the same time.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Ordinarily, I'd let Scott take charge. He's the smartest member of our family. But he's not here, so it's up to me. I'm the oldest of five brothers, so I'm used to it."

**End confessional**

* * *

Courtney said, "I was going to recommend that you and I go on the court, along with Tyler, DJ, and Sugar. Do you have a better idea?" Rodney stared at her, starry-eyed.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"She can lead. It's never wrong to let love be your guide." He paused and began to look worried. "Oh no. What am I going to tell Scarlett?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The ten players took their places on the court. DJ opened by throwing a ball at Beardo. The hairy teen might have managed to avoid it had he not chosen to run in slow-motion with accompanying sound effects. He was hit and had to go back on the bench.

"You had one job," Heather said to her alliance mate.

"Sorry," Beardo said. Everyone looked at him, surprised.

"Afro Guy can talk?" Sugar asked.

"Yeah, I can talk. I'm just shy, and making noises is easier than talking for me," he explained.

"Well, fan-freaking-tastic. If I was as much of a loser as you, I probably wouldn't talk either," Amy said. Beth and Ella comforted their friend, while Heather glared at Amy.

"She is so going down," Heather said quietly, loud enough that her alliance mates could hear her but nobody else.

B threw at Rodney, who tried to catch the ball, but failed. He walked over to the bench. Courtney threw at Amy, who used Sammy as a shield again. Sammy was hit and taken out. Amy retaliated by throwing at Courtney, who caught the ball. Amy out, Topher in.

Tyler threw a ball, and hit Amy, despite her being on the bleachers. "Oww!" She shouted. "I'm out!"

"Sorry..." Tyler trailed off before being hit by Jasmine. Sugar then threw a ball at Jasmine, who caught it. Sugar out, Heather in.

Heather and B both threw at Courtney, who caught one ball, but was hit by the other. Courtney and B out, Ezekiel in.

Ezekiel threw a ball at Jasmine, who dodged. She threw back at him, hitting him.

DJ threw a ball at Heather, who dodged. She threw back at him, and he dodged, only to be hit by a ball thrown by Jasmine.

Chef blew his whistle. "Gophers 1, Bass 0!" Chris called.

* * *

The second match began with B, Jasmine, Heather, Beth, and Leonard vs Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Sugar, and Mike. Mike was shaking.

"I don't know if I can do this..." he said warily. Then he stood up confidently. "But Russian Olympic gold medalist Svetlana is up to ze task!" He (she? It's complicated with alternate personalities) said with a Russian accent.

Heather and Beth each threw a ball at "Mike," who dodged both. Sugar then threw a ball at Beth, while Ezekiel threw at B. B caught the ball. Beth didn't, and was hit. Beth and Ezekiel out, Dawn in.

Leonard shouted "Smiting spell!" He threw a ball at DJ, but it came up short. DJ picked it up off the floor and threw it back at Leonard, getting him out easily.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"Oh, he shouldn'ta done that. He was lucky the wizard didn't smite him the first time! Now he's gonna smite him for sure!"

**End confessional**

* * *

DJ dodged a ball from B, and Sugar caught the one thrown by Jasmine. Sugar tried to call Dakota in.

"Yeah, no. I am _not_ setting foot on this court." Dakota said.

"Oh yes you are. I ain't lettin' you do nothin' this challenge," Sugar said belligerently.

"No, I really won't do it. You're better off not bringing me onto the court."

Sugar looked like she was about to explode, but Courtney interjected. "Just...pick someone else."

"Fine! Lindsay! Geet on down here!"

Lindsay obliged, only to quickly be hit in the face by a ball from Heather. Tyler ran over to her and helped her up. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Lindsay had a rather large bruise on her cheek, and said, "Do I look okay?"

Tyler smiled, a bit forced. "You look great."

Lindsay smiled too. "Aww. Thanks, Tyson. Wanna go for a walk?" The two of them left together.

"Enough of zis nonsense! Commence with ze dodging of ball!" Svetlana shouted as she threw both Heather and Dawn out.

B threw a ball, and it ricocheted off the wall and hit Sugar in the back. He then threw a ball at DJ and managed to take him out, but Courtney hit him before he could shift his attention.

"Gophers 1, Bass 1!"

* * *

The third round had B, Jasmine, Sammy, Ella, and Max vs. Courtney, Topher, DJ, Svetlana, and Sam. Courtney had wanted to bring in Dakota, but she had adamantly refused.

Max cackled inanely. "Now, you peons shall face my evil wrath!" He threw weakly at Sam, who caught the ball easily. Max out, Ezekiel in.

Ezekiel dodged a ball thrown by Sammy, and returned fire. Sammy also dodged. Topher dodged a throw from Jasmine. Svetlana tried to throw a ball at Jasmine, but she caught it.

Svetlana took a deep breath and hunched over, closing one eye. "Darn kids today don't know how to take a hit. Back in my day, we got hit with dodgeballs all the time, and we liked it!"

"Mike, you're out." Chris said.

"Mike? The name's Chester, sonny!" "Mike" said.

"O...kay? I don't care, go sit down." Chester complied, grumbling as he did so.

Sammy threw a ball at Topher, and hit him. Ezekiel threw at B, who caught the ball. Ezekiel out, Dawn in.

Courtney and Sam threw at Dawn, who dodged both balls. She caught Sam's ball as it flew past her, and threw it at Courtney, who caught it. Sam and Dawn out, Heather and Sugar in.

B managed to get Courtney using the back wall, but left himself open to a response from Sugar. Jasmine, however, managed to hit both her and DJ.

"Gophers 2, Bass 1! Next up, Moose vs. Badgers!"

* * *

The first Moose vs. Badgers round consisted of Jo, Lightning, Anne Maria, Cody, and Izzy against Alejandro, Justin, Zoey, Sky, and Trent. With one point already on the board for the Moose, the Badgers knew they had to play their best.

Jo threw a ball at Justin, who screamed, "Not the face!" He dodged—straight into a ball from Izzy. Jo threw again, this time at Zoey, who caught the ball. Jo out, Geoff in.

Geoff threw a ball at Anne Maria, and it ended up stuck in her hair. Chris asked Chef, "Does that count as her being hit, or her catching the ball?" Chef thought for a moment, then decided it counted as her catching the ball. Geoff out, Owen in.

Owen quickly grabbed two balls and threw them both at Zoey. She caught one, but the other hit her and she dropped the one she had caught. He then threw a ball at Alejandro, who caught it. Owen out, Bridgette in.

Trent threw a ball at Izzy, and hit her. Alejandro threw one at Lightning, but the football player caught it, and brought in LeShawna.

Cody threw a ball at Bridgette. She dodged it, but it curved back and hit her from behind. He then rubbed another ball against his vest, and threw it at Trent, and as he tried to dodge it, it chased after him. He couldn't avoid it, and he got hit, leaving Sky alone against Lightning, LeShawna, Cody, and Anne Maria.

Sky wasted no time in trying to turn it around. She hit Cody almost the exact moment that his shot hit Trent. LeShawna threw a ball at her, which she caught, then she threw it at Anne Maria, hitting her in the midsection. Sadie was brought in, but she was quickly hit by a ball from Lightning. "You just got struck by Lightning!" he shouted.

Sky and Lightning faced each other, both silently daring each other to make the first move.

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Lightning is the best in every sport he plays, always. So, he's thinkin', tiny girl did just take out three people in five seconds, but there's no way she can beat him, right?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Lightning threw a ball at Sky, and she _jumped over_ it, spun in midair, and threw her ball at him, hitting him in the chest. Chef blew his whistle.

"Moose 1, Badgers 1! Next round decides!"

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Sha-dang!" Lightning said, obviously impressed. "If tiny girl can beat the Lightning in a sport, she's gotta be some kind of sha-superstar!"

**Confessional: Sky**

"I'm a gymnast, and I'm actually training for the Olympics. My goal here is to win the money, then use it to pay for the advanced training needed for that goal."

**End confessional**

* * *

Jo stared at her teammates. "That could have gone better. But it won't matter. Time to bring out our secret weapon."

The final round had Jo, Lightning, Owen, Aiden, and Eva going up against Alejandro, Zoey, Sky, Geoff, and Sierra. Eva went into a veritable beast mode, throwing all four dodgeballs in a matter of seconds. Zoey dodged one of them, but the other three hit Geoff, Sierra, and Alejandro, taking them out.

Sky and Zoey attempted to recover, throwing all of the balls at Eva, who was hit by the onslaught and taken out. But the damage had been done. Zoey fell to the four remaining Moose all throwing at her in rapid succession. Sky threw a ball at Owen's legs, and managed to hit him, getting him out. She then hit Aiden in the groin with a dodgeball, causing him to fall over, groaning.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"So, I have a strategy. Don't talk more than necessary, don't excel at challenges, but don't fail them miserably either, and discreetly expose what dirty laundry these brain-dead potatoes have. I'm practically guaranteed to go far." He paused. "I'm just glad I don't have to say much, because otherwise hiding how little I think of almost everyone here would be extremely difficult." He paused. "I also kind of wish I didn't have to take that hit, but five million dollars is a lot of money."

**End confessional**

* * *

Lightning and Jo grabbed the balls used to take out Owen and Aiden, and ran to opposite sides of the court. Sky tried, but she couldn't focus on both of them at the same time very easily. She threw a ball at Lightning, only to be hit by Jo as soon as the ball left her hand. Chef blew his whistle, signaling the end of the match.

"All right, Moose are playing for the win, Badgers to avoid last place! Next up, Bass vs. Badgers!"

For their first round, the Bass brought out Courtney, DJ, Topher, Sugar, and Ezekiel. The Badgers fielded Sky, Zoey, Alejandro, Sierra, and Katie.

Sugar threw a ball at Sierra, who dodged. Katie and Zoey retaliated at Courtney and DJ, but both Bass team members dodged as well.

"You people couldn't hit the broad side of a billboard!" Topher taunted, only to receive a ball in the face from Sierra.

"That was for you, Chris!" Sierra called. "I'm much better than that stupid faker, right?"

"Uhhh..." Chris hesitated, unsure what to say. Courtney decided for him by throwing a ball at Sierra's legs, and it connected.

DJ threw a ball at Alejandro, who caught it with one hand. DJ out, Geoff in.

Alejandro threw the ball at Ezekiel, who somehow managed to catch it, bringing in Sam. He didn't, however, catch the second ball that Zoey threw at him.

Sam picked up the ball and threw it at Sky, but he missed. Katie picked it up and threw it at Courtney, who caught it. Katie out, Scarlett in.

Geoff threw the ball at Sugar, and it hit her in her thigh. Scarlett, Courtney, and Sam threw a salvo at Zoey, like the one that had gotten her out the first two times, but Zoey had learned that trick, and dodged all three balls with the skill of an acrobat.

* * *

**Confessional: Zoey**

"So...I'm planning on performing in Cirque de Sol professionally, so, I do a lot of acrobatics practice." She sighed. "The kids back home just don't appreciate art."

**End confessional**

* * *

Zoey picked up one of the balls, and hit Sam in the gut. Sky took Scarlett out with another. Zoey then threw the last one at Courtney, who caught it, bringing in Mike.

Mike was sweating.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"So, Chester wasn't in control, but neither was Svetlana. I wish I had a fedora, that would have made things easier. But I didn't. And _I_ sure wasn't going to beat those three. So, I had to bring out...Vito."

**End confessional**

* * *

Mike took off his shirt before entering the court, revealing washboard abs. Justin took one look at this, and started sputtering. "He has washboard abs? He's as skinny as a pencil! His arms look like twigs! How does he have washboard abs?"

As Mike took off his shirt, his hair slicked back, and he began to strut confidently. "Da Vito is in da house!" he declared in a Jersey accent, and picked up a dodgeball. He then threw it at Sky, who dodged it. He caught a ball from Geoff, bringing in Rodney. He threw the ball at Sky, but she caught it. Vito then angrily stomped over to the bench, saying, "Da Vito's too good for dis game anyways." He put his shirt back on, took a deep breath, and sat down. Scarlett was staring at him the entire time.

Once Mike put his shirt back on, she asked him, "Would you please explain to us the purpose of your showboating?" Several of his teammates also looked at him.

Mike looked nervous at this. "I...am an actor," he said nervously. "And Vito, Svetlana, and Chester, they're all characters that I play."

Scarlett eyed him suspiciously, but then said, "Fair enough," and turned away. Mike let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"I envisioned that going a lot worse."

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"Mike is hiding something. At a guess, I'd say he has Dissociative Identity Disorder, though I can't rule out schizophrenia quite yet. I don't know why he hasn't told anyone, but I won't confront him about it yet. It could be useful if I need his vote later, though."

**End confessional**

* * *

Sky threw her ball at Rodney, who couldn't catch it. He was out. Courtney angrily threw the ball at Sky, who caught it. The round ended, with a victory for the Badgers.

The next round consisted of Courtney, Topher, DJ, Sam, and Scarlett against Sky, Zoey, Geoff, Alejandro, and Bridgette. Dakota had once again refused to go onto the court.

Scarlett tried a ricochet shot like B had used, but she didn't put enough power behind it, and it came up short. She received a shot from Alejandro after it left her hand, though.

Geoff threw a ball, which DJ caught, bringing in Ezekiel. Ezekiel threw a ball at Alejandro, who caught it. Ezekiel out, Sierra in.

Sierra took out Sam, only to be hit by a ball from Topher. DJ threw a ball at Sky, who dodged and threw one at him, hitting him.

Courtney caught a ball from Bridgette, bringing in Sugar. However, Alejandro managed to hit her with a ball.

Topher threw at Sky, who caught the ball and brought in Sadie. Sadie's time on the court was cut short, however, by Sugar's throw.

It was around that time that Tyler and Lindsay came back. Sugar caught a ball thrown by Sky, and she shouted at the two of them, "Where have you been?"

"We were just going for a walk," said Tyler.

"Well, you shouldn'ta done that durin' the challenge! Git yer lazy butt on the court!"

Tyler joined Sugar on the court in time to see Alejandro throw her out. He picked up the ball and prepared to throw. He threw it as hard as he could, shouting, "EXTREME!"

The ball hit Noah, who had been reading, not paying attention to the game. Jo smirked at him, and said, "Looks like sports really aren't your forte."

Alejandro took Tyler out, easily. Chef blew his whistle.

"And the Bass lose, for the first time!" Chris called. "Finally, Moose vs. Gophers! Gophers need to win both rounds to win!"

* * *

The Moose fielded Jo, Cody, Eva, Anne Maria, and Izzy. The Gophers began to look nervous, having not fielded anyone yet.

"That Sheila's _bad news,_ at least for us," Jasmine remarked, referring to Eva. "Whoever handles her will have to be bloody tough."

All eyes turned to Duncan, still asleep. Jasmine took a breath, and shook him.

Duncan woke up, and stared angrily at Jasmine. She stared back.

"We need you on the court."

Duncan scoffed. "And why should I help you?"

Jasmine stared at him icily. "Cause if you bail, I'll make sure you get the boot, first chance we get."

"Fine, but on one condition. You do what I say, when I say it. Got that?" Jasmine hesitated, but nodded.

"Okay, here we go. We'll go with a little strategy I picked up in juvie. It's called 'crush the new guy...'"

* * *

Duncan, Jasmine, B, Heather, and Beth walked out onto the court. Chef blew his whistle and the match began.

Eva threw one ball, then another. Jo and Cody each threw a ball from either side of her.

B dived out of the way of Eva's first ball, but the other hit him in the midsection, and he doubled over in pain. Duncan caught Cody's ball, and Heather dodged Jo's. Sammy took B's place on the court.

Duncan nodded at his teammates, and he, Jasmine, Heather, and Beth all threw as one. All four balls hit Eva, who couldn't respond to all of them in time.

The Gophers repeated the tactic, and the score quickly went from 5-4 to 5-0.

* * *

Now it was the Moose team's turn to look worried. They hadn't just lost the round; they had been _squashed_. Jo glared at her team. "Now what do we do? I'm open to suggestions."

One person answered. It was Cameron. "I...I have an idea. Notice how Duncan was directing the team that time?" Jo nodded.

Cameron continued, "I think I know what to do. But you'll have to listen to me."

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"All the athleticism around me was making me nervous, but I did manage to have an idea. I didn't know if Jo would go for it, though."

**Confessional: Jo**

"It wasn't a bad idea at all. Wish I had thought of it."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Moose fielded their best players for the final round: Jo, Lightning, Eva, Owen, and Cody. The Gophers fielded B, Jasmine, Duncan, Dawn, and Sammy. "Don't screw this up, Samey!" Amy called.

The Moose players quickly grabbed two of the four balls. The Gophers grabbed the other two.

Cody threw a ball at Dawn. She dodged, and Duncan grabbed it. The Gophers all threw at Eva, who dived out of the way, just in time. Jo picked up a ball and hit Sammy with it. Owen tried to hit B, but the silent genius caught the ball.

The round continued, with the Moose constantly keeping at least two of the dodgeballs on their side of the court. Players shuffled between the bleachers and the court, neither side able to boast a real advantage.

Eventually, it came down to B and Eva. They narrowed their eyes at each other, daring each other to make the first move.

Eva eventually did make the first move. She threw a ball at B, with all the force she could put behind it. It actually slammed B back into the plexiglass wall of the gym.

The camera moved to show that B had dropped the ball.

"The Moose win!" Chris shouted. "Bass, I'll see _you_ at elimination!"

* * *

After the challenge, Courtney, Ezekiel, Scarlett, and Sam were discussing what happened with Scott.

"Well, it sounds to me like you want me to either vote out Dakota for not participating, or Tyler for sucking," Scott said to Scarlett, who had been describing the team's showing.

"That's what I'm asking," Scarlett replied.

"So, which one do we get rid of?" Scott asked.

Scarlett looked at Courtney, who said, "Dakota. Tyler sucked, but at least he tried. We can't afford to have team members that don't help."

Scarlett nodded. "Her refusal to participate likely will lead to trouble for us if we keep her. Besides, she clearly only cares about being on camera."

Sam wasn't pleased by this, and said, "Maybe we should vote for Tyler. He did mess up the challenge. I'm sure there's loads of stuff Dakota would be good at, if we gave her a chance."

Ezekiel looked at him. "You're just saying that cuz you think she's cute, eh."

Sam tried to deny it. "No! I mean, yeah, she is a tenth-level hottie, but that doesn't make her any less of a person! She wants to be here as much as anyone else!"

As if to make a point, Dakota walked out of the cabin just then, looking sad, and began to talk. "Hey, Bass team! I'm sooooo sorry that we lost the challenge, aren't you? I wish I could..." sadness fading, she pulled out a compact mirror, and touched up her makeup for a few seconds. Then she turned to go back into the cabin. "Take two!"

The other Bass looked at Sam skeptically.

* * *

That night, Chris stood over a tray of marshmallows. "Campers! You've already placed your votes and made your decision. First marshmallow goes to immune camper, Scott!" He threw a marshmallow at Scott, who caught it.

"Also safe with no votes are Courtney, DJ, Sugar, Topher, Ezekiel, Scarlett, Mike, Sam, Rodney, and Lindsay!"

Holding up the last marshmallow, Chris said, "Tyler, Dakota, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. With two votes to the other's eleven, the final marshmallow goes to..." The shot showed both Tyler and Dakota looking nervous.

" _Tyler._ "

Dakota stood up. "No! This can't be right! I haven't gotten my spin-off series yet!"

Chris brushed her off. "Not my problem."

Chef grabbed Dakota's arm, and pulled her over to the Boat of Losers. He placed her on, and the boat sailed away with Dakota in it.

Chris looked at the camera. "Well, not the most dramatic campfire ceremony, but I get payed either way! Anyway, the rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: I originally had Dakota being eliminated last chapter, but that was before I decided to have Dave eliminated first. I also figured there was no way that Scott, a farmer used to getting little sleep, would lose the Awake-a-thon to Gwen. So I gave her Noah's canon elimination, which I thought would be in character for her. Yeah, Noah didn't participate either, but his team didn't want him to. I like Dakota, but her intern subplot seemed like the best way to develop her character.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger


	5. Not Quite Famous

The episode opened with a shot of the treetops against the morning sky. The camera then panned down to the four cabins. The camera cut to inside the cabins, where the campers were all sleeping peacefully.

Suddenly, a siren played over the loudspeaker. "All right, campers!" Chris shouted over the loudspeaker. "Enough beauty sleep! Time to show us what you're made of!"

The scene skipped forward to behind the campers, facing the stage. "Welcome to our brand new, state-of-the-art outdoor amphitheater!" Chris announced. "This week's challenge is a summer camp favorite. A talent contest!"

Sugar perked up at this. "A talent contest? Finally! This is what I came here for!"

"You have eight hours to choose your three most talented team members," Chris continued. "These three will represent your team in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes as long as it's legal." Duncan snapped his fingers at this last part, looking disappointed. Scott sneered at him.

Beth piped up. "Can we do acts with more than one person?"

"Good question, Beth. You get a cookie!" Chris tossed her a cookie, which she caught. "Yes, collaborations are allowed, but it might be easier not to do them, because if you do, you'll be expected to work together well."

"You'll be judged by our resident DJ and rap legend, Grand Master Chef," he continued, gesturing to Chef, "who will show his approval via the Chef-o-meter." A picture of a wooden spoon appeared at the top of the screen, with a picture of Chef in the bowl and a ten-sectioned meter on the handle. "As the winners of the last challenge, the Moose get three extra points. Lowest-scoring team sends someone home tonight!"

Suddenly, a hang glider flew down to the stage, and it was revealed that it was carrying Dakota. She crashed onto Sam by accident.

"Hey, Sam!" Dakota smiled as she unhooked herself from the glider and removed her pink helmet.

"Oh, hi Dakota," Sam answered with an awkward chuckle.

"Uh, excuse me," Chris said irritably, "you're out of the competition, remember?"

"Oh, I don't care about the money," Dakota answered. "Like I need it. I just want, umm, close-up, please?" The cameraman obliged her. "I just want camera time. People need to see my sparkly adorableness if I'm going to get my own spin-off reality series."

She winced suddenly, and the camera zoomed out to show that Chef had grabbed her by the arm. He lifted her up and took her over to the stage, where Chris waited. "You know how you walked down the Dock of Shame a couple episodes ago?" he told her. "That means you're done, for-ev-er."

"No, please, I'll do anything!" Dakota squealed.

"Listen, Princess, this is my show," he began, but his rant was interrupted by a sudden call on a cellphone he extracted from a pants pocket. "Huh?" he answered, smiling when he heard a voice on the other end. He cupped the mouthpiece and told the captive girl, "It's your daddy!"

Dakota smiled at this news. "Hello, Mr. Milton!" Chris answered. His eyes shot open and his grin enlarged. "How much money?" The camera zoomed out to show all three as the host ended the call and stowed away his phone. "You're back!" he told the blonde.

"Yes!" Dakota cheered, turning to the camera and smiling cutely. "Thanks, Daddy!"

"As an intern!" Chris finished happily.

"An intern?" the rich girl whined as Chef carried her off stage, "NOOOOOOO!"

"Hey, if you get settled in fast enough, you might be able to help with today's challenge!" Chris called after them with a laugh. "All right," he turned back to the largely shocked campers, "the rest of you can get started!"

As the campers were walking away from the stage, Alejandro glanced toward the Bass, and said loudly enough for them to hear, "This might be a hard challenge for us to win. I do not doubt our team's talent, but they have a pageant winner on their team. She clearly knows all about talent shows, and has likely won many herself."

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"In the little time I have spent with Sugar, I have come to the conclusion that she is extremely annoying. With her in charge of her team, she will likely annoy them to a great degree. If she messes up, she's as good as gone."

**End confessional**

* * *

Sugar grinned at this, and said to her team, "I think I should be in charge a' this challenge. Seein' as how I got the most experience, and all." Her teammates all shrugged, none of them wanting to contest her for the job.

Rodney walked up to Scarlett, and tried to say something. "Scarlett, I need to tell you something." She looked at him, and he began to sputter. "It's just, we, I mean, you and ice..."

Scott walked up to his cousin and pulled him away. "Sorry, he gets like this when he's nervous," he explained. "What is it this time," he asked Rodney resignedly.

"I'm trying to break up with Scarlett, so I can get with Courtney without being a cheater," Rodney explained.

"Did Scarlett ever say you were together?" Scott asked.

"No, but I felt our connection was so strong, we didn't have to say anything," Rodney answered sadly. "But now I fell for Courtney, so I guess our connection wasn't as strong as I thought."

"Let's wait until after the challenge, then we'll see what happens," Scott offered.

"You're right. We have to focus now," Rodney resolved. "I'll break up with her after the talent show." Scott nodded.

* * *

The scene shifted to the teams practicing in their own spaces. On the Badgers, Alejandro asked his teammates, "So, what are your talents, amigos?"

Katie and Sadie immediately piped up. "We can dance! Watch!"

They immediately began to do a sugary, high-energy dance routine, that looked like it would have been better if the two girls were wearing roller skates.

"We'll think about it," Justin said.

* * *

"Look into my eyes. What do you see?" Izzy was doing a dance, but Jo stopped her. "Not good enough. Next!"

Anne Maria walked in front of the others. "Just listen to me sing. Chef's sure ta give me a ten on the spot!" She began to sing, sounding like a dying cat.

"Demon!" Shawn shouted, and dumped a bottle of water on her.

"What's the big idea?" Anne Maria demanded, visibly upset.

"I thought you were being possessed by a demon, so I poured holy water on you," Shawn explained. Anne Maria sprayed him in the face with her hairspray.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"I'm not as big a believer in demons and vampires as I am with zombies, but you never know. So I always keep holy water on hand. Now I need to make more."

**End confessional**

* * *

On the Moose team, Heather had just finished a ballet routine. Her teammates, except for Amy and Max, clapped.

"I think Heather should be in the contest!" Ella said. Max shrugged, while the others all voiced their agreement, except for Amy.

"Okay, who else wants to be in the show?" Heather asked.

B raised his hand. He walked over to where Heather had danced, holding a bucket of garbage. He then turned away from his team for a few moments, then turned back holding an object sculpted out of the trash. It was a to-scale model of Chris's head.

Ella voiced what many of the Gophers were thinking. "Wow! You're really talented, B!" B smiled.

Ella was the next to audition. She began to vocalize, about to burst into a proper song. Beardo imitated a beautiful piano line, and Ella switched the song she was singing, breaking out into a beautiful rendition of 'Clocks' by Coldplay. By the end of it, every member of the team agreed Ella and Beardo would be in the show. "I think we've found our three acts," Jasmine voiced.

* * *

Sugar had the Bass lined up, and she stood in front of them. "Okay...you!" she pointed at Sam, "What's your talent?"

"Well, I'm really good at video games. I could go for a high score or a speed run, but I'd need to ask Chris to give my Gameguy back." Sam responded.

Sugar was not impressed. "Video games? That ain't a talent. We need some real talents if we wanna impress Chef."

"What about your talent?" Scott asked, a bit snidely.

Sugar glared at Scott. "A real pageant queen don't show off her talent, not where the competition can see it. Besides, I know what I can do. This is about y'all tryin' ta impress _me._ Now what can you do, Scott?"

Scott shrugged and pulled a pocketknife out of his pocket. "I can whittle figurines of Chris and Chef."

"That'll take too long. How 'bout you, Tyler?"

Tyler pulled out a pair of Yo-yos, and tried to do tricks with them. He ended up getting tangled in the strings.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"My teammates ain't got no talent."

**End confessional**

* * *

On the Moose, Owen was drinking a large bottle of soda. Once he had finished, he burped out, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZe-ed!"

Jo was not impressed. "No, you are not doing that in the show."

Lightning said, "Dude, do you even _know_ how hard it is to burp the entire alphabet in one go?"

"I can also toot Beethoven's fifth," Owen offered, receiving a chorus of "No!"s from his teammates.

"What about you, Forehead?" Jo demanded.

"I shall recite my favorite Shakespeare oration," Noah offered.

"We'll get back to you on that," Jo said. "What about you, String Bean?"

"I can play the keyboard." Cody said. He brought out a keyboard, and played a song. His teammates were impressed.

Jo said to her team, "Okay, we have one of our acts. Who else?"

* * *

Back to the Badgers, Trent was finishing up his song. Everyone agreed Trent had to be in the show.

Justin strutted up to the others, wearing a sequined jacket and holding an object with a large spiral disc. "Come one, come all! Come see the great Justin LeClerc hypnosis act!"

Gwen frowned. " _You're_ a hypnotist?" she asked skeptically.

Justin grinned. "Yup! I'll hypnotize someone!"

Alejandro said, "We'll think about it."

Bridgette offered, "I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes."

Alejandro thought for a moment, but shook his head. "I don't think that would impress Chef. What about you, Geoff?"

Geoff grinned. He grabbed a skateboard, rode it up and off a slanted rock, performed a kickflip, and landed.

* * *

On the Bass, Sugar was watching Courtney play the violin. She eventually said, "Okay, we don't look like we got a lotta options, so yer in. Anyone else? What about you, Mike?"

Mike flinched, but he said nervously, "I actually do have something I could do. I'm planning on being a Broadway actor, so I could do a Broadway song." He then began to sing beautifully:

_"Sing once again with me,_

_Our strange duet_

_My power over you_

_Grows stronger yet_

_And though you turn from me,_

_To glance behind_

_The Phantom of the Opera is here,_

_Inside your mind."_

"Yer in too, Mike. I'm prob'ly gonna win anyway, but you two'd make good warm-up acts." Sugar said, indicating Mike and Courtney.

* * *

On the Moose, Shawn was wrapping up a symphony comprised of armpit noises. Jo thought about it, but ultimately decided against.

Harold was the next to audition. He took a deep breath, and...

* * *

The scene cut to the Badgers, where Sky had concluded a ribbon dance. Her teammates all really liked it.

"Where'd you learn to do that so well?" Zoey asked.

"My older sister River went to the Olympics for rhythmic gymnastics. She's the reason I want to be an Olympian," Sky responded. Many of her teammates looked impressed by this.

"So, we are decided? Trent, Geoff, and Sky will perform for us?" Alejandro asked. Everyone nodded at this.

* * *

Heather walked up to Sammy, and sat next to her at the campfire pit. "Hey, I can't help but notice that your sister treats you _really_ badly," she said.

"You don't know the half of it. She makes me do all of her work for her, she tries as hard as she can to make sure I have no friends, and she constantly calls me 'Samey,' even knowing I hate it." Sammy replied.

"What would you say if I could guarantee that she goes home as soon as we lose?"

"I don't know. Our team doesn't seem to like Amy that much, but I think Leonard or Max will probably be first out."

"Maybe, maybe not. But what if I could make sure?"

"Could you do that?"

"Maybe."

"Oh em gee, that would be amazing."

"Well, _new friend,_ I might be able to do just that. Tell me, does Amy have a diary?"

"Yes. She does."

"Great. I need that. Where does she hide it?"

What neither of them saw was Aiden, who was listening in on their conversation.

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"At first I thought Heather was just like Amy, or her friends back home. But maybe she's not that bad. Maybe she just has trouble making friends."

**Confessional: Heather**

"Getting rid of a camper I hate _and_ making a new ally. This deal is a great move."

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Amy is arrogant, mediocre in challenges from what I've seen, and her team hates her. Getting rid of her? Not a great victory."

**End confessional**

* * *

Aiden then went to see Sugar, with a picture of shock and disgust on his face. "Sugar, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Hey, you can talk too?" Sugar said, incredulous.

"Yes, I can talk. I just...don't like being the center of attention, so I don't talk much. Don't tell anyone, please."

"Okay, but what did ya want to talk about?"

Aiden hesitated, then began, "The Gophers are the only team aside from mine that haven't lost a challenge yet."

Sugar looked at him, interested. "What're you sayin'?"

"I want the Gophers to lose this challenge, and I don't know if your team can beat them. But maybe I can help you." Aiden added conspiratorially.

Sugar smiled evilly. "Go on..."

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"I totally lied. In the end, teams are meaningless. If you want to get ahead in a game like this, you have to go after individuals. And Sugar, as imbecilic as she is, understands competitions like this better than most, and she does have skills that translate well to challenges. However, she has no humility or common sense, so tricking her is easy. As for the advice I gave her, I have no idea whether or not she'll take it, and it doesn't matter, as it isn't likely to help. The point is, now that someone has overheard her, she'll stop practicing, and her teammates can't tell stop her from going onstage. I'm just glad I got to her before her teammates did."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene cut to the Badgers waiting on the stage. Geoff asked Bridgette, "Can you really stand on your hands for twenty minutes?"

"Wanna bet that I _can't_?" Bridgette said, waving an unwrapped chocolate bar enticingly.

Geoff chuckled. "Oh, you're on."

Bridgette smirked. "Okay, ante up."

A few of the Badgers dropped change and sweets on a crate, then Bridgette fell onto a handstand. She stumbled backwards, got one of her legs caught in a rope, and knocked down a spotlight, which fell on Geoff's skateboard, breaking it.

Chris was walking up to the stage, and saw the light fall. He walked over to the Badgers, and angrily asked, "What is going on here?" He looked at the campers, and at the fallen light, and said, "I would be angry, but this gives me a great opportunity to have my _new intern_ get to work." Dakota, having traded out her pink outfit for a red shirt and khakis, came up on stage and picked up the light fixture, with difficulty.

The Badgers looked at each other, and Gwen voiced what they were all thinking. "Now what?"

Alejandro spoke up. "I might be able to do something."

* * *

The scene cut to the start of the talent show. "Welcome to the TDI talent extravaganza!" Chris announced. "Tonight, thirteen campers will show their mad skills, and desperately try not to humiliate themselves! First up for the Moose, Noah!"

Noah stepped out onto the stage, wearing a toga. He began his oration:

" _Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears_

_I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him_

_The evil that men do lives after them_

_The good is oft interred in their bones so let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus_

_Hath told you Caesar was ambitious_

_If it were so, it was a grievous fault_

_And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it_

_Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest_

_For Brutus is an honorable man_

_So are they all, all honorable men_

_Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral_

_He was my friend, faithful and just to me_

_But Brutus says he was ambitious_

_And Brutus is an honorable man_

_My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar_

_And I must pause 'til it comes back to me."_

Noah concluded his oration, and some of the campers clapped. Chef gave Noah a 6.

"A six. Not bad." Chris said.

"A six? Are you kidding me?" Noah said, indignant.

"Arguing won't increase your score. Sit down. Next up, from the Badgers, Trent!"

Trent walked onto the stage, guitar in hand. He smiled at Gwen, strummed his guitar, and said, "This one goes out to a special someone at camp." He began to sing.

" _They say that we've only got summer_

_And I say that's really a bummer_

_But we'll swim in the sun and have lots of fun_

_It'll be the two of us, nothin' to do but hang_

_Let me say only this_

_Stick around for just one kiss."_

"Nice work!" Chris said. "I like your style, and so does Chef! Eight points! Next up, for the Bass, Courtney!"

Courtney stood on the stage and began to play her violin. She played a classical piece, very tough to play, but also very dry. Some of the campers, such as Scarlett and Cameron, seemed engaged. Others, like Lightning and Sugar, seemed bored. When she finished, the host said, "Not bad. A little boring, but not bad. Chef?" The Chef-o-meter registered a six. "Six! Pretty good! Now, for the Gophers, Silent B!"

B stood on stage. Dakota walked up to him, and dumped out a garbage bag filled with branches, leaves, and food waste. B arranged it into a scale model of the island. The campers all were impressed, and the camera zoomed in on the model, but a gust of wind suddenly blew it over.

Chris sighed. "Well, it was nice while it lasted. Five points. Next up for the Moose, Cody!"

Cody played a dubstep song on his keyboard. A lot of the campers liked it, although some were not impressed. At the end, Chef gave him a six.

* * *

**Confessional: Chef**

"I ain't a huge fan of electronic music. I just don't really get it."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Next up, Sky, from the Badgers!"

Sky stood on stage, a bit nervous, but she performed. She did a graceful ribbon dance that enthralled most of the other campers. She received an 8.

The next camper to perform was Mike. He cleared his throat, and began to sing.

_"He thinks that man is me_ _He knew him at a glance!_  
_That stranger he has found_  
_This man could be my chance!_  
_Why should I save his hide?_  
_Why should I right this wrong_  
_When I have come so far_  
_And struggled for so long?_  
_If I speak, I am condemned._  
_If I stay silent, I am damned!_

_I am the master of hundreds of workers._  
_They all look to me._  
_How can I abandon them?_  
_How would they live_  
_If I am not free?_  
_If I speak, they are condemned._  
_If I stay silent, I am damned!_

_Who am I?_  
_Can I condemn this man to slavery_  
_Pretend I do not feel his agony_  
_This innocent who bears my face_  
_Who goes to judgement in my place_

_Who am I?_  
_Can I conceal myself for evermore?_  
_Pretend I'm not the man I was before?_  
_And must my name until I die_  
_Be no more than an alibi?_

_Must I lie?_  
_How can I ever face my fellow men?_  
_How can I ever face myself again?_  
_My soul belongs to God, I know_  
_I made that bargain long ago_  
_He gave me hope when hope was gone_  
_He gave me strength to journey on_  
_Who am I? Who am I?_  
_I am Jean Valjean!_

_And so Javert, you see it's true_  
_That man bears no more guilt than you!_  
_Who am I?_  
_24601!"_

Every note of the song was filled with anguish. Even Chef was crying at the end of it. He gave Mike a ten.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"Les Miserables is my favorite Broadway show. The beautiful story about redemption and mercy versus legalism...excuse me while I cry for a moment."

**Confessional: Chef**

The confessional showed Chef crying loudly.

**Confessional: Sugar**

"Mike got a ten? Well, I'm sure ta get a ten too. They might as well give us the win now."

**End confessional**

* * *

The second Gopher to perform was Heather, who walked onto the stage holding a book. She sat down on a chair and said, "I was originally going to dance for you. But instead, I'm bringing you a collaboration. Words by Amy, performance by Heather." She held up Amy's diary, and the color drained out of Amy's face.

* * *

**Confessional: Amy**

"Oh sh—"

**End confessional**

* * *

Heather began to read. "'I absolutely hate my team. I mean, Samey's a loser, but most of our other teammates seem to have been picked to make her look _good_ by comparison! I mean, Brick and 'Jasmine the Giant' aren't _that_ awful, but they've made friends with Samey, so they clearly have no standards. Duncan? He's a stupid punk wannabe who acts like a twelve-year old.'" The camera showed the Gophers getting angry at Amy as their descriptions were read. "'Heather is clearly trying _way_ too hard to be as much of a queen as I am, but the effect is kind of ruined by the fact that she hangs out with ugly, awkward Beth, fat, grubby, wimpy Beardo, and Ella, the delusional seven-year-old in a teenager's body. Or, well, one of them. We have three. Leonard seems to think he's a wizard, which he obviously isn't. And Max only talks about how evil he is, when the most evil thing he's likely to do is ignore a "Keep off the grass" sign.'" At this, Max jumped up, pointed at Amy, and shouted, "How dare you question my _e-vil_?"

Heather continued reading, "'B never talks. Why does he never talk? Does he have something to hide? It wouldn't surprise me. Or maybe he just doesn't talk because he knows he's a loser and doesn't want to embarrass himself even more. And he hangs around Dawn, who is quite possibly the freakiest out of all of these freaks. She claims to be able to read auras or something like that, and I'm not surprised B is her only friend. After all, could you trust someone who knows more about you than you know about yourself just by looking at you?'" Heather closed the diary.

Then, something unexpected happened. Dawn began crying profusely. B hugged her, glaring daggers at Amy. The look of mortal terror on Amy's face somehow got even more terrified.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I know a lot of people think that same thing _, *sob*_ , but it hurts to actually hear it." She sighed and composed herself. "Well, that was therapeutic. I'm feeling better now."

**Confessional: Brick**

"I don't approve of reading someone else's diary. But making a teammate cry like that? Unacceptable. Amy has to go."

**Confessional: Heather**

"I didn't have to do that. I'm sure Amy would have been voted out as soon as we lost anyway. But this way, I earn Samey's trust and I get to watch Amy squirm."

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris stood on stage, eyes wide. "Well, somehow that performance got three points from Chef. Anyway, hopefully this will improve everyone's mood. For the Moose, it's Harold!"

Harold entered the stage, and began to beatbox. In fact, he beatboxed amazingly well, leading to everyone cheering for him.

"And Chef gives that performance a nine! Next up, for the Badgers, Alejandro!"

Alejandro stood on stage, holding three oranges. He said to the audience, "Tonight I shall juggle for you. If you have any items to add, please do so. I wish this to be a challenge, after all." He then began to juggle the oranges, as well as several items thrown at him by the audience, including a pack of peanuts from Shawn, a baton from Beth, one of Noah's books from Izzy (which prompted a "Hey!" from the bookworm), a wrench from B, a small dumbbell from Eva or Jo (could have been either), a can of hairspray from Anne Maria, and various other odds and ends.

Chris asked, "Anything, you say?" He looked maliciously at Dakota, who asked, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

The camera cut back to Alejandro, showing Dakota being tossed to Alejandro, who managed to catch her, though he dropped two of the items he was juggling. He tossed her into the air, caught the other items, and dropped them gently to the floor, then caught Dakota again. "My sincerest apologies," he said, close enough to her to make her blush. "I hope you are not hurt."

"Oh no, I'm fine," Dakota stammered as she let go. The camera cut to Sam, who was scowling.

* * *

**Confessional: Sam**

"Who does he think he is, treating Dakota like that? Chris, I mean. Although I didn't really like seeing Alejandro flirting with her either."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself," Chris chuckled as he walked back onto the stage. "Anyway, seems like Chef enjoyed that act too! Nine points! Next up, from the Bass, it's Sugar!"

However, it was not Sugar who took the stage next, but Dakota, holding a long piece of paper. "Umm...hold on. She's a...genu-wine? Angel, who's come to earth to...shave us?'"

"Save us!" Sugar called from backstage.

"Uh...okay. From our boring, un-glitzy..."

"Skip the intro!" Chris said, angrily.

"Fine, she wasn't doin' it right anyway," Sugar said, walking onto the stage, wearing ugly pink pants and a matching hat, with a gold cowbell around her neck. She shoved Dakota off the stage, and began speaking. "Dear fans, you know me as Sugar. But my farmies on the farm call me Sugar Silo! The only artist to ever combine country and rap! I call it, _craptry!_ " She snapped her fingers, and a cheap crunk-style beat began to play.

" _Sugar Silo, I'm wicked sweet!_

_I tap it when I rap it with a tasty beat!_

_I don't like milk from a Jersey cow,_

_I'm the queen of craptry, you all should bow! Sugar holla!_

_Sugar Silo go, dosey do!_

_Sugar Silo here to win the dough! Sugar holla!_

_Like a talking horse, the truth I speak,_

_I'll beat mister juggle and the beatbox freak!_

_Am I trippin'? No way! I'm bein' for real!_

_I'm here to win this five million buck deal!_

_Sugar hollaaaaaaaaaa!"_

The final high note caused everyone to clutch their ears in pain. Sugar then attempted to dive into the crowd, but they didn't catch her. She landed on Aiden, who was squashed underneath her bulk.

Chef was the first to speak. "I have never heard a bigger insult to either country or rap in my entire life! No points for you! Never, ever do that again!"

Chris took a moment to regain his composure, then said, "Well, we have one act left. Beardo and Ella need at least nine points to avoid elimination. Either way, it shouldn't be too hard to tell who's on the chopping block for tonight. Hint: It's not Mike, B, or Courtney. Probably not Heather, Beardo, or Ella either. But just so we know, let's give it up for Beardo and Ella!"

The two teens walked onto the stage, and Beardo began creating an energetic, fun pop-rock instrumental. Ella then began to sing:

" _Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine,_

_You guys are on my mind_

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

_And I think the answer's clear to see_

_I wanna be famous!_

_I wanna live close to the sun_

_Pack your bags, 'cause I've already won_

_Everything to prove, nothing in my way_

_I'll get there one da-ay!_

' _Cause I wanna be famous!_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!_

_I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!"_

Chris asked Ella, "Did you make up the lyrics to that song?"

Ella shook her head. "Beardo did, mostly. He said we should write something 'in the spirit of Total Drama.' I wasn't sure about them, but he said you would like it."

Chris nodded. "I do! How much for us to use it as the theme song for the show?"

Beardo thought for a moment, then said, "A thousand dollars for each of us, a real dinner for my team, and ten points."

Chris shook his hand. "Deal!"

The Bass groaned, knowing this meant they had lost again.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Aside from getting squashed by three hundred pounds of lard, I'd say that went pretty well." He then hunched over, hands to his spine. "Oww! My back!"

* * *

Later, at the campfire ceremony, Chris was holding a plate with eleven marshmallows. "Kudos to you all for a night of great entertainment!" Chris said. "I have eleven marshmallows on my plate. Mike, with a perfect ten for your act, you are safe." He tossed Mike one of the two marshmallows. "Also safe with no votes are Scott, Rodney, DJ, Scarlett, Lindsay, Courtney, Ezekiel, Tyler, and Sam."

"Sugar, your act was a disaster, and you lost for your team, who really needed you to live up to your own hype. Topher...Sugar's a sore loser. You get the last marshmallow."

Sugar stood up. "Competition should not be based on points! Instead it should be based on yer general awesomeness, which means I should still be in the game!"

"Yeah, no one cares, Sugar," Chris said dismissively.

Chef escorted the tearful pageant queen to the boat waiting for her, and Chris looked at the eleven remaining Bass. Before he could speak, Topher asked, "Can I do the closing statement this time?"

Chris shrugged. "I guess. If you want to."

Topher stood next to Chris, and said ominously, "The rest of us are safe. _For tonight._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: My goal here is to have every elimination be the one that makes the most sense in-universe, and there was simply no way Sugar does not screw her team over in this episode. Sugar isn't a bad villain, or at least she doesn't have to be, but I have enough villains in this story. I suppose I could have saved her if I reshuffled the teams a bit, but I needed Sammy to stand up to Amy before Amy gets eliminated.
> 
> Thoughts on Sugar in canon? I think she's overhated, but I also think her team gave her nothing to work with. If she had another villain to bounce off of, or a team more conductive to drama, she'd be less obnoxious and more of a threat.
> 
> I realize Aiden didn't really do much, and that's kind of the point. The point of his inclusion was to establish that he thinks he's a big threat, but he really isn't. If you don't like him, that's good. Soon enough, he'll pick a fight he can't win.
> 
> I was having trouble thinking of lyrics for Ella and Beardo's song (which is probably going to be a consistent problem with my portrayal of Ella), when I had the idea of having them be the ones behind the show's theme song. I thought it was a cute idea.
> 
> I love reviews! Please review!
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen


	6. The Sucky Outdoors

**Teams:**

**Gophers: Amy, B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Leonard, Max, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Rodney, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Anne Maria, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Izzy, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the campfire pit, where the contestants were listening to Chris explain the challenge. "Campers, today's challenge will test your outdoor survival skills," the host began. "I'm not gonna lie to you, some of you may not come back alive!"

Some of the campers gasped at this. "Just joking!" Chris told them with a laugh. The campers all sighed in relief. "All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team's campsite in the forest, you just have to find it." He gave maps and compasses to Jasmine, Scarlett, Shawn, and Bridgette.

"Oh, and watch out for bears. Lost a couple interns in pre-production," he added before leaving. "Last team back for breakfast loses a member!" He sounded his air horn. "Off you go!"

"Did he say there were bears out here?" Sammy asked nervously.

"I wouldn't worry about it." Jasmine replied. "I'll make sure those blighters don't try anything. And I'm sure the other teams can take care of themselves."

"Indeed," Scarlett confirmed. "I have researched methods of repelling both _Ursus americanus_ and _Ursus arctos_ , as well as several other predatory species before coming here."

"I had an encounter with a bear once! Let's just say, his is head looks great on my mantle!" Owen chimed in.

Izzy chose to add something to the conversation. "Ooh! This one time, I saw a bear eating our garbage! He had old spaghetti noodles hanging from his big sharp teeth, and it looked like blood and guts. It was so gross! We thought he was eating our neighbor's cat Simba, but it turns out he was just lost for a week." Seeing the disgusted expressions on many of the other campers' faces, she asked, "None of you ate spaghetti, right?"

Shawn was clearly growing uncomfortable over the course of the conversation.

* * *

**Confession: Shawn**

"I don't like bears. I don't hate them as much as zombies, but that's just because they don't travel in packs, and they mostly keep to themselves. If one was actively trying to hurt us…well, they're bigger, stronger, and faster. But at least anyone who gets bitten by one won't turn into another bear, right?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The teams all began to separate to go to their respective campsites, while Amy went to talk to Sammy. "I know you had something to do with what Heather did, Samey," she began.

"What…no. I didn't have anything to do with that," Sammy lied.

"You're as bad at lying as you are at everything else, _Samey_ ," Amy replied. "You made a deal with Heather to try to get rid of me."

Sammy sighed. "Yes, I did. And you know what? I'm _glad_. You've treated me like trash for sixteen years, and after everything you've done to me, getting any payback feels so good."

Amy was taken aback by Sammy's response, but she kept pressing. "You owe me. You're going to go talk to our teammates, and you're going to convince them to vote out Heather. Then, _maybe_ I'll forgive you."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Standing up for myself was hard. But oh em gee, it was so rewarding."

**End confessional**

* * *

Sammy put on a brave face. "No, Amy, I won't. You've made your bed, now you get to sleep in it." At that, Amy lunged at her and tried to attack her. They grappled for several seconds, before Sammy noticed something. "Hey, where are our teammates?"

* * *

The scene cut to the Bass, who were talking as they walked. Tyler and DJ were enthusiastically discussing football, while Rodney listened and chimed in at times. Scarlett and Courtney were discussing colleges. Lindsay was talking about makeup or something to Topher and Mike, who weren't really listening. Sam had taken over the map from Scarlett, and was doing a very good job of navigating the group.

Ezekiel walked next to Scott, who asked, "How are you adjusting to being around others your age?"

Ezekiel thought for a moment. "It's kinda weird. And I been confoosed about somethin'. You said girls aren't weaker than guys. But the last three people eliminated were girls. And I don't know too much about Staci, boot Dakota was weaker than the guys, and Sugar was dumber. So it kinda seems like my dad was right, eh."

Scott shook his head. "You're missing the point. Yeah, Dakota was weak, and Sugar was dumb, but what about Scarlett and Courtney? Scarlett is a genius, and Courtney is one of our stronger players. Not to mention all the girls on the other teams that are really strong and smart, like Jasmine and Sky."

Ezekiel thought about this for a moment. "I didn't think aboot that. I guess yoo were right after all."

* * *

**Confessional: Ezekiel**

"I don't really get my team. I mean, I kinda get some of them, but when they talk aboot stuff like sports and video games, I don't have any idea what they're really talkin' aboot. Well, at least Scott seems to understand me. And he knows more aboot the real world than me, so he can help me not get in trooble."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene shifted to the Badgers, who were at work setting up camp. Well, most of them were. Justin wasn't really doing much of anything, and Katie and Sadie were mostly just trying to help him be comfortable.

"Ugh. Does he ever contribute?" Gwen asked, referring to Justin.

"Well, he did contribute in the first challenge," Trent answered. "And most of the challenges since then had individual participation. He wasn't really qualified for dodgeball, and we had plenty of acts for the talent show. I'm sure he can be helpful."

"I guess you're right," the goth girl answered. "I just see him standing there, and I'm bothered by the fact that he isn't helping."

"Too many people working on this at once would only get in the way of each other," Alejandro, who had overheard the conversation, chimed in.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"I need to get Justin to contribute more. He's no good to the team if he's not useful, and he's no good to me if he gets voted off early."

**End confessional**

* * *

Bridgette was setting up the tent, and Geoff decided to try to talk to her. "Hey, you pitch a tent like a guy," he said awkwardly.

* * *

**Confessional: Geoff**

"Really? That's the best I could come up with?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Bridgette frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Geoff, sensing he had said the wrong thing, tried to explain. "Well, you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty like some other girls are…I'm not helping myself, am I?"

Bridgette shook her head. Geoff slapped his forehead.

"Okay, so, because we won the last challenge, we get food provided," Sky said, reading a note. "Let's just get a fire started, and we're good."

* * *

The Moose had also found their campsite, and Cameron was looking cheerful. "My first camping trip! I'm having fun already!"

"Well, that makes one of us," LeShawna said.

Shawn was trying to convince his teammates to sleep in one of the trees instead of the tent. "I'm telling you, that tree is a perfect place to sleep. We won't have to worry about bears, or zombies, or the other teams trying to stop us."

"They won't do that," Jo said dismissively. "Not when we have Eva. And I'd rather be in the tent if it starts raining."

"Yeah, but do you really want to share the tent with him?" Shawn asked, pointing at Owen. Owen chose that moment to fart, and the Moose all held their noses.

"Okay…I see your point. Maybe sleeping in a tree would be better," Jo said.

"Uh, there's no food here," Owen said.

"It's a survival task. We have to find our own," growled Eva.

"I'll take care of it," Shawn offered. "I've trained to be able to find food in the wilderness. Once the zombies come, we won't have grocery stores anymore, so I'll need to be able to do that much."

"I'll help!" Owen chimed in. "I'm good at finding food!"

"Well, I guess the rest of us will set up the camp," Jo said. "All right, maggots! Let's get this tent set up! Anyone here know how to start a fire?"

* * *

At the Bass campsite, Scott was taking charge. "I'll go catch us a critter to eat. Ezekiel, you can help me. Scarlett, you know how to set up a tent, right?"

"Who made you team leader?" Courtney demanded.

"Well, does anyone think I _shouldn't_ be leader?" Scott asked his team.

"You haven't tried to lead our team before," Courtney pointed out.

Lindsay decided to settle the issue. "I don't think you're being very nice, Corrine. Scooter should get a chance to be leader. If it works out, we can make him leader again. If not, we won't." Courtney begrudgingly said, "Fine."

Scott said, "Well, now that that's out of the way, Scarlett?"

Scarlett nodded. "I am familiar with the necessary steps."

Scott said, "You do that. Rodney, can you take care of starting a campfire?"

Rodney nodded. "Of course!"

Scott rubbed his hands together. "I can almost taste the roast raccoon now."

At this, some of the campers' faces paled. "You are _not_ bringing back dead raccoons," Courtney insisted.

At that moment, a pizza delivery guy arrived. "You, who ordered the peperoni pizza with extra cheese?"

A hand waved at the delivery guy from the distance. "It's for the camera crew."

"No way!" Courtney complained.

Scott rolled his eyes. " _Fine_. I'll catch fish instead. But Sam's gotta help us fish too, if we're doing that."

Sam said, "Sure. I haven't played _Fishing Tournament 3_ in a little while, but I think I can help with fishing."

Scott walked off with Sam and Ezekiel in tow, while Rodney started working on the fire and Scarlett started on the tent.

* * *

The Gophers (well, mostly just B) had set up their shelter, and they had started a campfire (everyone had contributed to finding firewood). Dawn was handing out blueberries, and Jasmine had managed to catch some fish in the lake.

In an attempt to start a conversation, Leonard asked Dawn, "So, you are a seer, are you not? Can you tell us what the future holds for our team?"

"That's not really how it works. My ability is to read people's auras, not see the future," Dawn replied.

Unsatisfied, Leonard asked, "What do you mean by 'aura'?"

Dawn thought for a moment. "Well, the best explanation I can give is…your aura is like an emotional history. Your emotions at the moment, as well as moments or trends when your emotions were strong enough to impact the formation of your current personality, that's what I can see. For example," her eyes scanned the group, "by looking at Max," the purple-haired boy, who had been working on a sciencey-looking helmet, looked startled at being singled out, "I can tell that he often feels as if he is being ignored by those around him, and he has few friends, so he acts as theatrical as possible to get attention. He also enjoys the presence of children because they don't ignore him the way adults do."

Max looked a bit uncomfortable, and he paused for a moment, as if to decide whether to try to deny it. After a moment, he dramatically said, "It is true! For too long, I have been ignored! And now, because everyone ignored me, I shall take over the world! Once I rule the world, no one shall ever ignore me again!"

None of the campers really knew what to say to that, so once Max went back to working on his helmet, most of them just started talking amongst each other (or in B's case, listening to others talk and nodding or shaking his head). Only Ella continued looking at Max, with a sympathetic expression on her face.

* * *

**Confessional: Ella**

"Poor Max. He doesn't have any friends, so it's no wonder he acts out. Well, I'm going to be his friend now."

**End confessional**

* * *

Ella walked over to Max, and sat down next to him. She asked him, "What are you working on?"

He turned to her, obviously glad to have an audience. "It is a helmet of E-VIL! Unlike that buffoon Leonard, I know that if you want power, you must turn to _science_! So, I made a helmet that brings out the inner _e-vil_ of the wearer. Only it doesn't work." He handed it to her, and she saw that one of the wires hadn't been plugged in. She pointed it out to him, and he plugged the wire in. The light bulb on the helmet lit up. At this, Max's eyes lit up. "Yes! It works!"

A few feet away, Brick was talking to Jasmine. "So, I want to get to know Sammy better, but I'm not very good at starting conversations. How do I talk to her?"

Jasmine replied, "Just ask her about her interests. See what you have in common."

Brick nodded, and took a deep breath. Then he looked around. "Where is Sammy?"

Suddenly, the Gophers began to look worried. "Where are the twins?"

Max piped up, "Who cares if the mean one is gone? She was dead weight."

Brick answered him, "I know none of us like Amy, but we have to follow the cadet code! No soldier gets left behind, even if she is Amy! Besides, we have to find Sammy!"

Duncan added, "Plus, we'll probably get penalized if we don't come back with our whole team."

Max accepted this answer, and the Gophers all began the trek back to the starting point to look for the twins.

* * *

Having set up the tent, Scarlett was watching Rodney struggle with trying to start a fire. "Here, it's easier this way," she said, helping him. Rodney looked at her, starry-eyed.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Scarlett is so wonderful…But what will I tell Courtney?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Zoey and Gwen were sitting together, and Zoey was drawing in a sketchbook. Gwen looked over her shoulder, to see a very detailed drawing of their team in the woods. "Wow, this is really good," Gwen said. "What kind of pencils do you use?"

Zoey replied, "I usually use Lyra Rembrandt Art Design pencils. They aren't the absolute best out there, but they're the best value I can find. What kind do you use?"

Gwen answered, "Tombow Monos. I tend to do just lineart, and I paint afterwards. Lyra Rembrandts are great if you do a lot of shading, but I don't really."

* * *

**Confessional: Zoey**

"I don't meet very many people who are as passionate about art as I am. Maybe Gwen and I could be friends?"

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Moose campsite, Owen and Shawn came back to a fully set up camp, carrying several fish. "I am man! I bring fish!" Owen declared.

"Man, this is cool. You know, Lightning thought you would be useless, but you're actually a pretty cool teammate," Lightning said to Owen.

"Yeah, how are you so good at fishing?" Jo asked him.

"My grandpa taught me. I caught a shark once. It bit me in the butt. Look," Owen pulled his pants down, showing his teammates the scar. All of them looked away and shielded their eyes, except for Izzy, who said, "Cool!"

* * *

On the Bass team, Scott, Ezekiel, and Sam had come back with fish, and were busy grilling them. DJ walked up to the team, holding a gray rabbit, which coughed when he pet it. "Hey, guys! Look what I found!"

Scott looked at it. "A rabbit? Never been too fond of rabbit. You never feel full after eating it. But whatever."

DJ looked horrified. "This is my new pet!" he protested. "I'm callin' him Bunny!"

Scarlett advised, "In that case, you'll want to get him vaccinated soon."

DJ nodded. "I'll do it when we get back."

* * *

The Gophers were looking for the twins, when Brick, Max, and Ella happened to find them sitting in a cave, not talking to each other. "Oh, thank god. I'm saved," Amy said.

Brick ran over to Sammy. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried about you," he said, helping Sammy up. Amy looked at them, mouth agape.

"Stand up, Sammy's clone. We have to get out of here," Max said to Amy. Her jaw dropped even further.

* * *

**Confessional: Amy**

"'Sammy's clone?' And Brick was worried about her? The team likes her more than me? Why? She's like...a spare me! Spare me...Her name should be Spare-amy!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"I am so glad we found both of you! Now we can return to the camp. It is most wonderful. B is an excellent builder," Ella said.

At that moment, though, a bear arrived at the cave, and roared at the five interlopers. Amy cowered in fear, while Brick shielded Sammy as much as he could. Ella cautiously approached the bear, and sang:

" _Good evening bear girl or fella,_

_If you left us alone, that would be mighty swell-a."_

The bear growled at her, and she jumped. Max suddenly had an idea. "Wait! My helmet works now!" He put the helmet on the bear's head, and its eyes glowed red and it stood at attention. "I am your master, and you will obey me! Now, go menace one of the other teams!"

The bear ran off to find one of the other teams. Max cackled at his evil act, then unexpectedly felt Ella hug him. "You saved us! You are a hero!"

Max abruptly stopped. "No, I am not! I simply made the bear go after one of the other teams instead. If I was a hero, I would have made it give up entirely."

Sammy responded, "Well, you still saved us. Let's get back to our team."

Brick nodded. "Affirmative." He then looked a bit worried. "As soon as we can find them."

Amy sighed. "Can't you people do anything right?"

* * *

At the Moose campsite, the Moose had the fish grilling and almost ready to eat. Owen said, "Okay, the fire's hot, the fish are grilling, the tent is tenting."

"Nice going, guys. The fish looks awesome," Cody said to Shawn and Owen.

"Thanks. I owe it all to grandpa." Owen said.

"So, you and your grandpa really fought a bear once?" Cameron asked Owen.

"Nah. I don't buy it," Jo said. "If it was Eva, maybe. Or Shawn of the Dead. Or even Brightning. But Butterball couldn't beat a bear in a fight."

"No, it's true! It was the scariest day of my life," Owen protested. "We were out in the woods, when we came upon the great beast. I tell you, he was ten feet tall if he was a foot, and then he roared his terrible roar." He poorly imitated a roar. "We grabbed our shotguns, knowing it was either him or us. It was nothing personal, just the law of the wild. And then, BAM! One shot was all it took to fell the great beast. We took his blood and marked ourselves with his blood to honor him. It was a good death."

Jo scoffed. "Yeah, like that happened."

While Owen was distracting the others, Harold pulled Cody, Cameron, and Noah aside, out of earshot of the others. He whispered to them, "Hey, I think the four of us should form an alliance. We're on a team of jocks, so we need teamwork, otherwise we're gonna get voted out."

Noah answered, "Fine with me. It's probably good strategy."

Cody nodded. "Yeah, we do need an alliance. I don't like that Jo girl, and I think she'll jump at the chance to get rid of us."

Cameron whispered, "Great idea! So, do we have, like, a team name or a secret handshake or something?"

Harold answered him, "We can work that part out later. Let's get back to camp. We'll return separately so they don't get too suspicious."

Unbeknownst to them, Aiden was watching them.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"An alliance, huh? I can imagine they might not want their teammates to know about that." Aiden then started laughing evilly. "I can certainly use this to my advantage."

**End confessional**

* * *

Once the last of the nerds had come back, Anne Maria said, "'Bout time you got back. We was beginnin' to think yous mighta been eaten by one a' dem bears."

They heard rustling in the bushes, and a bearlike roar. "Owen, quit with the bear sound," LeShawna said.

Owen looked at her. "That wasn't me." A bear crawled out of the bushes and growled. "Great Pyramid of Giza! We're all going to die!" Cody wet his pants in fright, and Owen began to run around in fear. "Oh, the horrors! Somebody help us! I want my mommy!"

"Quick! Up the tree!" Shawn advised, and the Moose all scrambled to get up the tree and away from the bear.

"So what do we do now?" Cameron asked Shawn.

"I don't know, wait 'til the bear loses interest and goes away?" Shawn replied.

"Why don't we ask our bear hunter? Hey, Butterball! What do we do now?" Jo demanded.

"How should I know?" Owen asked.

"Dude, you said you killed a bear," LeShawna pointed out.

"With a gun!" Noah defended. "And unless I'm mistaken, none of us have guns now!"

"Uh, guys? Where's Izzy?" Cameron asked, noticing she wasn't in the tree.

"Eh, probably got eaten," Jo commented. If it was even possible, everyone grew even more terrified.

The bear then began to sniff the fish. Lightning saw this, and grew angry. "Uh-uh. You do _not_ mess with the Lightning's protein!" he shouted. He jumped down, and tackled the bear.

"Hey!" the bear said. Lightning froze at this. "Wait. Bears don't talk. Do they?"

The "bear" pulled off its head, revealing that it was just Izzy in a suit the whole time. Owen slid down the tree, surprised. "Wow. I did not see that coming."

Izzy started laughing. "You should have seen the looks on your faces! You were all like, 'aah! We're gonna die!' And I'm like, 'rawr, I'm gonna eat you,' like I could do that, there's no way, okay."

Aiden looked annoyed, and he chose that as one of his rare moments to speak. "Are you insane? Or do you just have no concept of self-control? You had better hope we don't lose, otherwise…" he trailed off, as if noticing everyone's eyes on him.

Lightning gasped. "Quiet dude can talk?"

Aiden quietly replied, "Yes. I just don't like having everyone's attention on me, so I don't talk much. Go…go pay attention to something else."

Everyone seemed to accept this explanation, except Noah, who said, "Why are you on reality TV, then?"

Aiden answered bluntly, "Money." Noah nodded, accepting this explanation.

Suddenly, a bear wearing a helmet jumped out of a bush, trying to attack Eva. Eva held it back, and shouted, "Everybody, back up the tree!"

Once everybody had made it up the tree, Eva gave the bear a hard shove, buying enough time to make it up the tree herself. "That…is a real bear…" she panted.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"That bear stayed there for well over an hour until it started raining and the helmet on it shorted out. I can only assume Chris sent it out here for his amusement."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badgers were doing pretty well. They were eating their dried food, and joking and laughing around the campfire. Well, up until Bridgette accidentally caught the marshmallow she was roasting on fire, and waved it around to try to kill the flames. The marshmallow flew off her stick and onto the tent, which promptly burned down.

"Great. Just what we needed," Gwen deadpanned. To make things worse, it began to rain.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Unfortunately, we couldn't get much good footage of the Badgers for this challenge, because the camera guy seemed more focused on Justin than on getting actual footage of relevant stuff. That camera guy is now fired."

**End confessional**

* * *

The next morning, the first ones awake on the Bass were naturally Ezekiel, Rodney, and Scott. While Ezekiel and Rodney were waking up their teammates, Scott noticed a certain brunette girl latched onto him. Unable to resist the opportunity to tease her a little, he lightly shook her, and once she had seen who she was cuddling, he said teasingly, "Oh, so you do care."

Courtney seemed horrified by the sight. "You pervert! What did you do?"

The ginger smirked at her. "Nothing. _You_ were cuddling _me_ , remember?"

Courtney looked horrified at this.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"I just want to say that I was asleep, and thus not in control of my actions, and any alleged cuddling with said farmer was completely unintentional. It didn't mean anything."

**Confessional: Scott**

"I just couldn't help messing with her, just a little. I like messing with people."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Bass hustled to the finish line, and Chris said, "Congratulations, Bass! You win the challenge!" This prompted celebration among the Bass.

"You win an all-expenses-paid trip…to the Tuck Shoppe!" he continued, prompting even more celebration.

"What's a Tuck Shoppe?" Rodney whispered to Scott. Scott repeated the question to Scarlett.

"A shop at a summer camp that sells items like candy," Scarlett answered him.

The Badgers were the next team to arrive, looking a bit more frazzled than the Bass. "Second place!" Chris said. They were slightly less enthusiastic, but they still looked happy to avoid elimination.

It was several minutes later that the Gophers and the Moose arrived. They started running to the finish line at the same time, and the individual members began crossing the finish line. First over the finish line was Lightning, then Jasmine. Jo, then Eva. Shawn, then Brick. B. Duncan. Heather. LeShawna. Amy and Sammy. Cody, then Beth. Beardo, then Dawn. Izzy, then Aiden (who slammed into Eva, then fell as if he had run into a brick wall), then Anne Maria. Harold, then Ella. Owen, then Noah. Max.

Leonard and Cameron were running to the finish line. Leonard pulled ahead…only to trip over his robe, and Cameron crossed the finish line before him. "And the Moose get third!" Chris announced. "Gophers, I will see you at elimination."

Shawn and Jasmine got to talking. "Sorry about your loss," Shawn said.

Jasmine said, "It's okay. I have someone I want to get rid of anyway, and because she got lost, making us stay up late searching for her, she's probably going home."

Shawn nodded. "That Amy girl? Yeah, that would explain how your team was so late. My team was attacked by an angry bear, and we spent the night in a tree. I'm used to sleeping in trees, but my team wasn't, so…yeah."

Jasmine asked, "You sleep in trees too?"

Shawn nodded, then cocked his head. "Too? You sleep in trees?"

Jasmine answered, "Yeah. The beds here are a bit cramped for my taste."

Shawn nodded in understanding. "I sleep in trees so the zombies can't get me. Zombies can't climb, so I'm safe enough sleeping in a tree."

Jasmine chuckled. "I guess us survival types think alike, huh?"

Shawn said, "I suppose so."

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"Not only is the guy cute, but he's kinda hilarious. Zombies…"

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene cut to the elimination ceremony, where Chris stood with the plate of marshmallows in his hands. "Thirteen campers sitting 'round the fire, yet I have only twelve marshmallows," Chris said. "Whoever does not get a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, ride the Boat of Losers, never to come back. Ever."

"The first marshmallow goes to…Jasmine." He tossed her the marshmallow. "Brick. B. Heather. Dawn. Ella. Beardo. Duncan. Beth. Max. And with one vote against her... _Samey_." Sammy caught her marshmallow, and looked at it a bit disbelievingly.

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"I think that's the first time I was ever glad to hear my nickname."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Leonard, you were the last one to cross the finish line, and you're not a very valuable teammate." Chris said.

"Hey, I'm valuable! Can any of you do magic?" Leonard asked, miffed. Then a thought occurred to him. "Seer Dawn, don't answer that."

"Amy, you wasted your team's time by making them look for you, and your team doesn't like you very much."

"Give me my marshmallow already," Amy demanded.

"The final marshmallow goes to…"

" _Leonard._ "

Amy gasped, as Leonard caught his marshmallow. "Thank the Fates!" Leonard said.

"You kept Samey and that nerd over me?" Amy said, shocked. "But they're losers!"

"And that attitude is why we eliminated you," Jasmine told her.

"Yeah, you're just not a team player," Brick affirmed. "And the way you treat your sister is unacceptable."

"You'll regret this!" Amy shouted, as Chef led her to the Boat of Losers. "You'll see!"

But nobody listened to her, and the Boat of Losers drove away, carrying Amy with it. Chris turned to the twelve remaining Gophers.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Amy was pretty much doomed from the start, considering what team she was on. The only reason there she wasn't voted out in canon was because her teammates either didn't care (Topher and Scarlett) or weren't smart enough to see what was happening (Max and Rodney). Here, Amy wasn't so lucky.
> 
> Thoughts on Amy in canon? She was little more than a prop for Sammy, and because of Sammy's early elimination, it ended up being pointless.
> 
> I know this chapter is mostly centered on the Gophers and Moose, but they were the teams that had something interesting to show this challenge. I wanted to explain what Dawn's powers are in this story, in order to avoid plot confusion. Aside from that, I wanted to have Dawn read Max's aura at some point in the story, and this seemed like a good place for it. From there, Ella wanting to be Max's friend seemed like the next logical step.
> 
> Writing Owen was fun, even if it was just taking stuff directly from canon. Also, I wanted to make it clear that, though Eva is strong, she's not indomitable, at least not in this fic. The bear would have beaten her if their fight lasted longer. I know some of the characters haven't really gotten the focus I want to give them, but there are a lot of characters here, and I'm putting the focus on whoever has a relevant plot at the moment.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Mean Twin


	7. I Love You, I Love You Knots

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Leonard, Max, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Rodney, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Anne Maria, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Izzy, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the Gopher team eating breakfast. "Thanks for standing up for me last night," Sammy said to her teammates. "I was sure I would be the one going home."

"Why would you think that?" Beth asked.

"Well, Amy's the pretty one, the one that everyone likes..." Sammy began, but Brick cut her off.

"First off, you're the pretty one, not Amy. I don't care if you're identical twins. Second, maybe everyone likes Amy where you live, but none of us like her."

Dawn added, "We all know what it's like to be bullied. Maybe not to the extent of your relationship with Amy, but we have all had problems with bullying before.

"For instance, Leonard has been a victim of a fair amount of bullying just for being a nerd."

Leonard nodded. "Seer Dawn speaks the truth."

"Both Ella and Max are frequently teased and made fun of for being 'childish.'"

Max affirmed, "When I take over the world, those fools shall eat their words! Words that shall taste like Red Bull! Which tastes disgusting."

Duncan looked at him. "Dude, I love Red Bull."

Max replied, "Then you have no taste."

"Heather faced a tremendous amount of bullying in middle school just because she was a late bloomer. Beth also faces a fair amount of bullying for not being conventionally attractive. Beardo, as an openly gay member of the inner city community, has been victim to a great amount of verbal and physical abuse, which resulted in his social anxiety," Dawn continued.

Beardo looked at her, confused. "Wait, how did you know about me being gay?" Then a look of realization replaced his quizzical frown. "Oh, right. The aura thing."

Dawn continued, "Duncan was bullied a lot in juvenile detention, Jasmine and B have both been ostracized because they intimidate others, and Brick was victim to a lot of bullying because of his bladder control issues."

"Hey, I haven't wet my pants in almost a year!" Brick said, then hastily covered his mouth and turned red.

"In my case, my empathic abilities tend to scare people, to the point of keeping me from having any friends. I have tried to avoid bringing up people's auras in conversation at times, but it's easier said than done. I'm no stranger to being harassed and ostracized; I completely understand."

The team all agreed along the lines of, "Think nothing of it." "We know how you felt." "I've cried myself to sleep at night more times than I can count." B patted Sammy's shoulder comfortingly.

"We just wanted to let you know you're among friends," Jasmine said.

"Thank you," Sammy replied.

Dawn then looked back at Sammy. "Also, if at any point you feel like indulging in a good cry, I find it's much more helpful than getting angry...seven times out of ten. We won't judge you for it. But try not to do it on camera. I'm cringing right now just thinking about it."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"My teammates are really pretty nice, even Heather and Duncan. Now that Amy's gone, I feel so free!"

 **End** **confessional**

* * *

The camera then panned over to show the other teams. "Now I know why 'gruel' rhymes with 'cruel,' Sam commented.

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Scott said. "This stuff tastes great!"

"Yeah," Brick said nostalgically. "Tastes just like the food back at the academy."

The two of them received disbelieving looks from most of their fellow campers, before everyone's attending was caught by Rodney choking on something. Everyone began to panic.

"Does anyone know what to do when someone is choking?" Scott asked frantically.

"I do!" Bridgette shouted, and quickly directed DJ on performing the Heimlich maneuver. Once a walnut launched out of his throat, DJ dropped the farm boy.

"Are you okay?" Bridgette asked, afraid.

Rodney looked at her dreamily. "I am now..."

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Bridgette saved my life! It must be a sign! But wait? What'll I tell Scarlett?"

**End confessional**

* * *

All of a sudden, Chris came in. "Report to the campfire pit in five minutes for your challenge!"

* * *

At the campfire pit, Chris set the four teams on benches. "Your challenge today is a twist on the classic game of Truth or Dare," he said. "Or as I call it, Truth or Scare! When it's your team's turn, Dakota will spin the randomizer," he gestured to Dakota, who was standing at the bar of what looked like an electronic slot machine, "which will choose a camper," the randomizer landed on Duncan, "and assign them either a Truth, or a Scare." The second slot landed on a picture of red flames. "Also, you all have to wear these." Several interns passed collars to the campers, who put them on. Chris then pressed a button, and the collars locked around the necks of the campers. "Tell the truth, or complete your Scare, and you get a point." Chef wheeled out a scoreboard, which showed the Bass at one point, and the three other teams at zero. "Fail to tell the truth, or complete your Scare, which may be embarrassing, painful, or gross, and _this_ happens!" He pressed the buttons on four remotes, and all the campers received a painful shock from the collars. "Oh, and the Bass get an extra point because they won the last round."

Mike gasped, hunched over, and became Chester. "You could've waited 'til after he failed!"

Chris shrugged. "I just wanted to see you all in pain."

Chester started fuming. "Kids these days, no respect at all."

"O-kay. Anyway, first team to ten wins! Duncan has gotten a Scare. Let's see what he has to do to avoid getting his team shocked." He drew a card, and read, "You must...drink an entire bottle of hot sauce!"

Duncan looked at him nonchalantly, and grabbed the bottle. He raised it to his lips, and started chugging. When he was done, he set the bottle down, empty. "Give me a hard one next time, okay?" The Gophers' counter went up to 1.

Dakota span the randomizer again. Chris narrated as the wheels revealed their results, "Now, we have Ezekiel," Ezekiel gasped, and began to look very nervous, "Doing a Scare!" He then sighed in relief. Chris took a card. "Pick your nose, _and eat it!_ "

Ezekiel stuck a finger in his nose, looked at it, and stuck it in his mouth. Most of the other campers looked incredibly grossed out. Scott patted him on the back.

"Gross," said Chris. "Hopefully we'll get some campers to actually have trouble. Next is...Justin! Doing a...Truth!" The second slot showed a halo. "And, just so we know you're telling the truth, I have a guest star to introduce."

A chicken strutted up to the campfire pit, and up to Justin. "Meet Clucky, the truth-seeking chicken!" Chris introduced. Tyler fainted at the sight. "He's gonna be out for the entire challenge, isn't he. Ah, well, she's former CIA, and runs her own law firm, Buck, Buck, and B'gawk. If you have a secret, this poultry polygraph will find it out."

He read from a card, "Out of all your fellow campers, who do you think is most attractive?"

Justin considered for a moment, then said, "Alejandro."

Katie and Sadie looked shocked. "You're not, like, gay, are you?" Katie asked.

"No, I am straight," Justin said. "But Chris didn't ask, 'who are you most attracted to,' he asked, 'who do you think is most attractive.' And besides me, the most attractive camper here is Alejandro."

Noah deadpanned, "You're totally gay for yourself. Don't even bother denying it." Owen laughed at Noah's barb.

* * *

**Confessional: Justin**

"And choosing a most attractive girl would damage my hold over the girls on my team."

**End confessional**

* * *

Clucky looked at him with narrowed eyes, but eventually nodded. "And Clucky calls Truth!" Chris announced, letting the Badgers' scoreboard rise to 1.

Dakota spun the slots again, and they showed a picture of Cameron, and flames. "Cameron, your Scare is...drink an entire jug of mineral water!"

Cameron crossed his arms confidently. "Sounds feasible."

"In one minute or less."

Cameron lost the confident look. "Less feasible."

Chef handed the jug to Cameron, who buckled under the weight. But he lifted the jug to his lips, and started to chug as quickly as possible. Lightning, who was sitting next to him, held up the jug to help Cameron chug faster. Eventually, Cameron downed the whole jug.

"Wow, I didn't think you could do it," Chris said. "And with five seconds to spare. We need some harder scares."

Next was Leonard, doing a Truth. "Why do you think your magic hasn't been doing anything?"

Leonard looked confused. "You mean, you haven't figured it out?"

Now it was Chris's turn to look confused. "Figured what out?"

Leonard shook his head. "Figures. To answer your question, my magic hasn't been doing anything because I'm not a wizard. I've just been roleplaying this entire time."

He looked at the faces of all of the others. Harold was the only one who didn't look surprised. "You mean _none of you_ caught on to my acting? You all thought I was delusional?" he asked, offended.

Sammy answered, "Well, you're just a really good actor."

He paused, and said, "Well, thank you, I guess?"

Heather then said, "Wait, but that still makes no sense! Why would you roleplay all this time and not tell anyone? Did you _want_ to be voted out first?"

Leonard took off his hat. "Honestly, I don't have any skills that translate to a competition like this. I can't strategize, I'm not that good at socializing, and I'm not athletic. But I figured, if I roleplayed throughout my run here, I would at least be a memorable early boot, and I would even be able to show off my acting skill. Plus, I just like doing it."

Duncan gave him a look. "Isn't that embarrassing?"

Leonard shook his head. "This isn't embarrassing. My goth phase, now _that_ was embarrassing."

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"So Leonard isn't delusional after all. I'm honestly surprised, but I guess his acting is just that good."

**Confessional: Gwen**

"Goth phase?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris looked at him, and said, "I don't think we really need Clucky to tell us that he's telling the truth." The Gophers' counter rose to 2.

"Next is...Rodney! Doing a Truth!"

Chris pulled out another card. "Out of every girl on this island, who do you find most attractive?"

Scott and Rodney both paled.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"I wanna say Bridgette, but I can't hurt Scarlett like that! I have to pick someone ridiculous, so they know I'm joking."

**End confessional**

* * *

Rodney started fidgeting uncomfortably. "Uh...uh...uh..."

Anne Maria ventured, "Well, it's obviously me. What kinda guy could resist this? I mean, I'm the total package, right here."

Rodney seized on this lifeline. "Yeah! Anne Maria!"

Clucky looked at him, and squawked accusingly.

"Sorry, Rodney, but Clucky says you're lying," Chris said.

"That's bogus!" Anne Maria said angrily. "Tell your chicken to get her eyes checked!"

"As a punishment for lying," Chris began, then pressed the button to shock the Bass team. "Next, Gwen! Doing a Scare!"

He pulled out a card. "Listen to 'London Bridge' by Fergie all the way through without touching the headphones or making a sound." Gwen's eyes went wide.

She did do it, and the exaggerated facial expressions of pain she made were definitely a sight to behold.

"And Gwen gets the Badgers the point! Next is...Lightning! Doing a...Truth!" Chris called. He drew a card. "What is your real name?"

Lightning looked extremely embarrassed. "Rudolph. My sha-name is Rudolph Jackson."

Jo laughed out loud at this. "Rudolph? No wonder you don't use your real name."

Sky frowned at her. "Hey, it's not _that_ bad."

Chris said, "Well, yeah, it kinda is. But Clucky says you're telling the truth, so you get the point. Next...B! Doing a...Truth!" He took a card. "What is _your_ real name?"

B looked extremely nervous, and stayed silent.

"Hey, it can't be that bad. My real name is Hector. Yours can't be worse than that," Beardo offered.

B took a deep breath, and wrote something on a nearby piece of cardboard. He then revealed what he had written: "Beverly."

Jo laughed loudly. "Beverly? That's even worse than Rudolph or Hector!"

Chris laughed. "Majorly humiliating, bro. But you didn't give a verbal response, so you don't get the point!"

The Gophers all protested loudly at this. Dawn said, "But B never talks! Just look at his aura!"

Chris said, "I don't care. My show, my rules." He pressed a button, shocking the Gophers. "Next is...Tyler! Doing a...truth!" He took a card. "What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?"

Clucky strutted over to Tyler, who screamed, curled up into a fetal position, and started shaking.

Chris waited for several seconds, then said, "I don't think we're getting anywhere with this." He pressed the button on the remote, and shocked the Bass team. "This isn't going very fast, so, on to the lightning round!"

* * *

A fast-paced tune started playing in the background. "Beautify a bear!" Chris said, then the camera shifted to show Sierra putting makeup on the bear. The Badgers' counter went up to 3.

"What is your most embarrassing memory?" Cameron answered, "My mom made me wear a diaper until I was eleven." Moose: 3.

"Who is your least favorite teammate?" B sighed, and the Gophers got shocked.

"Who is your favorite teammate aside from Scott?" Rodney started babbling, making no sense. The Bass got shocked.

"You must take this live tarantula, and..." Chris looked up to see that Geoff had eaten the tarantula. "All you had to do was pet it!" Geoff, nonplussed, asked, "Do I still get the point?" Chris rolled his eyes, and gave the Moose their point.

"Grab a wolf by the ears!" Aiden complied, and the camera showed Aiden bruised and battered, with the wolf's ears in his hands.

"Eat a live worm!" Sammy made a grossed-out face, but forced the worm down. The Gophers' score went up to 3.

"What is your most traumatizing memory?" Courtney thought for a moment, then answered, "The time my teacher showed my preschool class _Jurassic Park._ " The Bass's score went up to 3.

"What do you think your role in the season will be?" Alejandro answered, "The heartthrob, I'm sure."

The montage continued, with some campers succeeding in their truths or scares, some failing, and notably B, Rodney, and Tyler never getting a truth question right.

* * *

Eventually, the Badgers had nine points, the Moose eight, and the Gophers and the Bass had five. Dakota spun the slots, showing Max and a halo. Chris took a card, and asked, "Why do you have purple hair?"

Max began, "Well, I didn't always have purple hair. Originally, I had brown hair. Also, I had really obnoxious neighbors, who played loud music all the time. Now, these obnoxious neighbors had a dalmatian, which they were very proud of. So, as revenge, I built a device to turn the dog's fur blue. Just so you know, it takes six hours to have an effect. I went to the dog park to use the machine on the dog, but I must have missed, because the next morning, the dog was still black and white. So I tested it on myself, and it turned my hair purple." Clucky looked at him, then nodded.

"Wait, what did the person walking the dog when you tried to turn it blue look like?" Sierra demanded.

Max thought for a moment. "She was tall, and had a long brown ponytail."

Sierra gave him a death glare, and stood up. "That was me! YOU turned my hair purple!" She stormed over to Max and punched him in the gut.

Chris shouted at her, "Go sit down, Sierra!"

Sierra looked at Max, and said, "You're lucky purple hair looks good on me."

Topher nodded. "It really does." Lindsay looked at him, puzzled.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"What? Just because I'm bitter at Sierra doesn't mean I don't still find her attractive."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Next is...Mike! Doing a...Truth!" Chris took a card, and asked, "Mike, what's the _real_ story with your 'characters?'"

Mike took a deep breath. "I...have Multiple Personality Disorder. I can't really control them that well. Chester, Svetlana, Vito, they're three of my other personalities."

DJ asked him, "So, why didn't you tell anyone?"

Mike answered, "I didn't want to just be 'the MPD guy.' I wanted to establish my own identity here, and if I told everyone I had MPD, I knew that would be my defining characteristic for my time here."

DJ put his arm around Mike's shoulders. "Dude, we know you're not just 'the MPD guy.' You've got hopes, and dreams, and fears, just like the rest of us. You might have MPD, but you're more than that."

Mike looked relieved. "Thanks, dude. I needed to hear that." Aiden stared silently at Mike.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Multiple Personality Disorder? That's just another word for 'unpredictable.' I know who I need to get rid of, as soon as possible."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And Clucky calls truth!" Chris said. "Next is...Trent! Doing a...scare!" He took a card. "Kiss a person next to you."

Trent shrugged, and turned to Gwen, who was next to him. "It's for a point."

Gwen nodded, and the two kissed.

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"I'll be honest, I kinda enjoyed that kiss."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And the Badgers win the challenge!" Chris announced. "Now, the Moose get second place, but we need a tiebreaker to decide the loser."

He turned to Dakota, who spun the slots, which showed the Gophers on one side and the Bass on the other. It stopped on Leonard and Tyler.

Tyler shouted, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't handle doing a Truth challenge! Not with that chicken!"

Chris laughed. "Silly Tyler. There are no Truths in the tiebreaker challenge! Only scares!" Upon hearing that, Tyler looked surprised, then looked at Leonard, and grinned maliciously. Leonard began to look nervous.

Chris gave both of them a bag. "To win the tiebreaker, you have to open your bag, which contain the remotes, and shock the other team. Aaaaaaaand...GO!"

Leonard desperately tried to untie the knots, but couldn't get them open fast enough. Tyler easily snapped the cord holding his bag shut, pulled out the remote, and pressed the button, with a smug look on his face the entire time. The Gophers got shocked painfully.

"And the Bass win the tiebreaker! Gophers, I will see you at elimination." The Gophers groaned. Leonard held up his wizard staff, and shouted, "Time reversal spell!"

Chris stared at him blankly, and his shoulders sagged. "Yeah, I knew that wouldn't work."

* * *

At the campfire ceremony, Chris thought aloud, "Will every team have a two-challenge losing streak for the entire game? I hope not. But anyway, I have eleven marshmallows, and if you do not get a marshmallow, you must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never come back. _Ever_."

"The people who are safe are...Jasmine! Dawn! Brick! Heather! Ella! Max! Samey! Beth! Duncan! _Hector_!"

"Funny," Beardo remarked, in a monotone voice.

"Leonard, you are on the chopping block for losing the tiebreaker, and _Beverly_ , you are on the chopping block for not getting a single Truth right. Leonard..."

"You will _not_ be receiving this marshmallow. Sorry, dude. You're going home."

Leonard sighed. "Well, at least I wasn't first out." He then walked down the Dock of Shame onto the Boat of Losers. The boat sailed away with him on it. Chris then turned back to the campers.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: Leonard is quite possibly the worst at competing in the entirety of Total Drama. He obviously wasn't going to last long. Sure, B could have been blamed for the loss, but who would be wiser to keep: a highly athletic genius, or someone whose only skill is acting? Besides, I have plans for B.
> 
> Thoughts on Leonard? He's a little bit funny, but aside from that, he's a bad character. He should have been the first one voted off in PI. However, I will say I did see some hints in canon that Leonard is actually acting, not genuinely delusional.
> 
> Please review! Reviews are the only way for me to know if you're reading!
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer


	8. Phobia Factor

The episode opened on the Gophers at the campfire pit, having just kicked off Leonard. They were sitting around the fire, roasting their marshmallows.

The other three teams all came and sat with them. Tyler said, "Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for you losing Leonard."

"It's fine. None of us were expecting him to last much longer, not even him," Jasmine said.

"Still, it was almost me. I thought I was going home for sure. I'm, like, terrified of chickens."

"I get it. Spiders just freak me out," Leshawna explained.

"I'm with you on that. Something with that many legs has to be evil, right?" Cameron said.

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"And with that, everyone just started talking about their worst fears! Harold admitted to being afraid of being ambushed by ninjas, Justin and Topher are both afraid of losing their looks, Heather is afraid of sumo wrestlers, Beth admitted her mortal fear is being covered in bugs, and even Eva confessed to being afraid of bats! I myself did not disclose any of my actual fears, knowing Chris will undoubtedly use this for a challenge."

**End confessional**

* * *

"My worst fear? Probably velociraptors. If they were ever resurrected, they could pose a huge threat to humans," Scarlett said.

"Flying, man. That's some crazy stuff," Owen disclosed. Izzy added, "I would never go up in a plane."

"Walking in a minefield. In heels." Lindsay said.

"Bad haircuts," Katie and Sadie said as one.

"Oh, can I change mine? That's way scarier than a minefield," Lindsay said.

"That, or a bad dye job. Not that it's easy to cut this," Anne Maria said, knocking on her hairdo, which made a metallic noise.

"Ever since a cruel joke my brother played on me, I have been terrified of corpses," Alejandro added.

"Corpses aren't so scary. It's when they turn into zombies is when you should be scared," Shawn replied.

"Well, I'm extremely claustrophobic. Caves, cells, any sort of tight spaces, that's what causes me to freak out," Jasmine said.

"I fear nothing!" Max declared. When everyone looked at him skeptically, he conceded, "Okay, I fear _one_ thing. Avalanches." The other campers accepted this, as it wasn't an unreasonable fear.

"I'm scared of hail. It's small, but deadly, dude," Geoff admitted.

"Being left alone in the woods," Bridgette said.

"I'm scared of a lot of things," said DJ. "But snakes are probably my biggest fear. They're so...scaly, and...slithery." He shivered.

"My worst fear? I guess...Being buried alive." Gwen said.

Brick looked uncomfortable, then confessed, "I'm afraid of the dark. Have been, ever since I was a little kid."

Duncan laughed at him, saying, "You're scared of the dark? Man, that is so lame!"

Sammy glared at him, and said defensively, "Hey, if Brick is scared of the dark, then he's scared of the dark. There's nothing wrong with that."

Duncan asked snidely, "Well, what are you scared of?"

Sammy answered, "I'm scared of goats. What about you? What are you scared of?"

Duncan noticed everyone else's silence, and reluctantly answered, "Celine Dion music store standees."

This prompted a laugh from Scott, who said, "Cardboard cutouts? That's even lamer than being scared of the dark!"

Duncan said defensively, "Well, what are you scared of?"

Scott said, "Sharks. You know, something that could actually kill me?" Duncan bristled at Scott's taunting, but in order to cut the potential argument off, Dawn said, "Well, assuming we're not talking about deep existential fears such as Heather's fear of feeling vulnerable or Alejandro's fear of never measuring up to his brother Josè," (this prompted a "Hey!" from the former and a growl from the latter), "B is afraid of losing the use of his hands, and I am afraid of robots."

Duncan said, "Hmm. I would have thought it would be public speaking, given that he never talks."

Beardo chimed in, "No, that's _my_ fear. I don't think B even can talk."

Aiden added, "I'm scared of swimming in sewage. Ugh."

Noah said, "I would say, 'being surrounded by total nutcases,' but I'm here now, so...clowns?"

Trent said, "I feel you, dude. I hate mimes. Like, a lot."

Jo paused, but eventually admitted, "Wearing a dress. In public."

Lightning nodded. "I get ya, dude. Wearing a dress in public has got to be in any dude's top five biggest fears." Jo bristled at Lightning mistaking her for a boy.

Lightning then thought for a moment, then said, "Failing my classes and getting sha-taken off the football team."

Noah looked at him. "You mean you don't usually fail your classes?"

Lightning looked indignant. "Hey! Lightning know he's not the best student, but I can sha-get by with a C average when I study hard and give it 110 percent!" Noah raised his hands placatingly.

Cody said, "Well, I'm scared of defusing a time bomb under pressure."

"As opposed to defusing a time bomb with no pressure?" Noah asked sarcastically. Cody replied, "You know what I mean."

Sam admitted, "I'm scared of being stranded out in the wilderness. I've played some wilderness survival games, sure, but I don't know how much that would really help. Those games take some creative liberties."

Ezekiel ventured, "Snow. I'm scared a' snow. Once, I was on a trip to the mountains with my family, and I got stuck in the snow. I was scared I was gonna freeze, eh."

Zoey thought, then said, "Bears."

Sky thought for a moment, and then said, "I'm scared of roaches. They're just so...disgusting."

Rodney said, "Uh...I'm with DJ. Probably snakes. They're scary."

Ella said, "Poison apples. Or poisoned anything, really. Curses are also a scary thought." She then broke into a short song:

" _Perhaps you will have a juicy treat,_

_Something juicy, red, and sweet,_

_But if the treat is not so sweet,_

_You'll end up being put to sleep."_

Sierra thought for a moment, then said, "All of Chris's old work being erased. But that'll never happen."

Courtney said, "Well, I'm not afraid of anything."

Topher countered, "Didn't you panic at the sight of green jelly back at the tuck shop?" This prompted laughter from some of the others, such as Duncan, Jo, and Justin. Courtney's face reddened.

With Mike being the only one who hadn't admitted his fear, everyone looked at him.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"I didn't want to tell them my actual worst fear. And I'm not telling you, either."

**End confessional**

* * *

"I mean, there's the normal stuff like axe murderers," the lanky boy finally said. Everyone seemed to accept this, but Duncan still looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm sure I know you from somewhere," he said.

"I don't know. I don't recognize you," Mike replied. "But maybe I have seen you before. All punks look the same to me."

"Well, I'm off to bed," Heather said. The campers dispersed to their cabins after that.

* * *

The next morning, the campers were all at breakfast. Some, like Owen, Brick, and Scott, were eating enthusiastically. Most were just picking at their breakfast.

"Campers!" Chris called upon entering. "Prepare to face your worst fears!"

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"I knew it."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Heather, time to go to the theater! It's sumo time!" At this, Heather choked on her orange juice and spat it all over Max, who happened to be sitting across from her.

* * *

**Confessional: Max**

"How dare Chris surprise Heather like that when he knew she had orange juice in her mouth? He will pay for my dry cleaning!"

Chris's voice, from outside: "No I won't!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Max, Ezekiel, you, me, the mountain, a few tons of snow," Chris continued. Max and Ezekiel both gasped.

Lindsay raised her hand. "Wait, how did they know those were your worst fears?"

Gwen facepalmed. "Because we told them?"

Lindsay and Tyler looked at each other, confused. Sam clarified, "At the campfire last night. Bad move, huh?"

Lindsay stood up. "Wait. They were listening to us?"

Scott scoffed. "It's a reality show, genius. They're always listening to us!"

Lindsay clearly felt violated by this. "But that's, like, eavesdropping!"

"Get used to it," Courtney deadpanned.

After the campers were rounded up and taken outside, they prepared to face their fears one by one. Watching the atrocious tub of worms, most of the campers looked ready to puke. Izzy picked one of the worms out of the tub and slurped it down, causing Cameron to _actually_ puke.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"Izzy is terrifying, even more so than Eva. Maybe I should have cited her as my worst fear last night."

**End confessional**

* * *

Beth hesitantly climbed into the kiddie pool and submerged herself fully in the worms. After a few seconds, she poked her head back out, to the applause of the others.

"And Beth sets the bar way up there!" Chris shouted as a counter displayed the Gophers' score rising from 0/12 to 1/12.

* * *

The scene cut to Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, and Anne Maria in a dressing room. Chris and Chef held four brown, badly cut wigs over their actual hair. Putting the wigs on Lindsay and the BFFFLs was easy, but Anne Maria's wig wouldn't stretch over her pouf of steel.

"Okay, time for plan B," Chris said.

The scene cut to outside the dressing room, which Anne Maria exited, fuming. Her hair had been dyed green with pink polka dots. "Not a word," she said to the others.

Out of another dressing room came Justin and Topher, both wearing even uglier wigs, with horrible makeup and fake yellow teeth. Topher also had a fake hunch on his back, while Justin had a temporary tattoo of Danny DeVito on his left cheek. The girls' eyes widened at the sight. However, everyone's eyes got even wider when they saw Jo exit another dressing room in a frilly pink dress, seething with rage.

* * *

Harold was in the communal washrooms, reading a comic book. Suddenly, four ninjas came in through the skylight that kept the washrooms lit. They surrounded Harold and adopted fighting stances.

Harold, seemingly unsurprised, pulled out a set of nunchucks from his pocket. He swung them around quickly, clearly showing off. Two of the ninjas closer to him backed off.

Suddenly, Harold's nunchucks hit him in the head and he was knocked out. The ninjas looked at each other, bewildered.

The camera zoomed out to show Chris watching on a screen. "He didn't defeat the ninjas," Chris said, "but he also didn't run away, so I'll give him the point." The Moose's score went up to 1/13.

* * *

The camera cut to Chef putting B's hands in casts, so he wouldn't be able to use them. "You just gotta keep 'em on 'til dinner," Chef said. "If you wanna chicken out, come to the infirmary."

B closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded. "You can do it, B," Dawn encouraged.

"Now it's your turn," Chris said to Dawn, bringing out a very cheap-looking robot. "Just one hug and you get the point."

Dawn's eyes widened, and she began to shiver.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I told my team on the camping trip that your aura is like your emotional history, or highlights of it at least. I can't perfectly predict someone's behavior from it, but it does give me insight into what others want. But robots don't have emotions, meaning they don't have auras. So if a robot wanted to kill me, I wouldn't see it coming. You can understand how that would make me paranoid, right?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Dawn hid behind B, looking like she was on the verge of a panic attack. B hugged her as best he could with the casts on his hands, and she clung to his jacket.

"Yeah, I don't think we're getting anywhere with this. Let's move on," Chris decided.

* * *

Cameron and Leshawna peered down at the tarantula in the box Dakota was holding. "You just have to pet it, and you get a point," Chris said. The tarantula crawled to the edge of the box, and looked up at Leshawna. The homegirl screamed and ran away.

Cameron, hand shaking, reminded himself, "It's not poisonous, it's not poisonous, it's not poisonous." He stretched his hand out and petted the tarantula. His hand stopped shaking as he did, and he said, "Huh, she's not that bad, really."

Izzy then picked up the tarantula, and placed it on her face. When it started running around, she laughed.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I think I'm over my arachnophobia. But now I'm terrified of Izzy."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene cut to a derelict-looking airplane. Chef gestured for Owen and Izzy to get in, which they reluctantly did. Chef then entered the plane himself, and took off. Owen screamed.

* * *

At the theater, Heather was in a makeshift fighting ring, with a sumo wrestler facing her. She trembled, and when the sumo charged she curled into a ball with her arms over her head. The sumo tripped over her and fell out of the ring.

"And Heather earns the Gophers their second point!" Chris announced, as the Gophers' counter read 2/12.

* * *

The scene cut to Sam sitting out in the woods. "It's no big deal, Samuelson," he told himself. "It's just six hours out in the middle of nowhere. Bridgette's doing it too."

The scene cut to Bridgette, in the same situation in a different location, also trying to console herself. "It's just six hours. Besides, it's not really that bad out here, right?"

* * *

"Next up, Scarlett!" Chris called. Scarlett's face went pale. She entered the plexiglass gym from before, where there was a cage-like structure in the center, and a second cage on the end. The first was empty, but the second contained velociraptors.

"Where did you get velociraptors?!" Scarlett screamed, terrified.

"I have my ways," the host replied.

"Dude, aren't raptors supposed to be bigger and less feathery?" Tyler asked.

Noah shook his head. "Someone's been watching too much Jurassic Park," he said.

"Exactly. Actual raptors were smaller and feathered, as evidenced by—" Harold started, but Chris cut him off. "No one cares, Harold!"

"Fine. Gosh!"

"Scarlett, if you stay in your cage for five minutes, your team gets a point." Chris continued.

"You can't be serious! I-I lied about..." Scarlett began, but Chris cut her off. "You made your bed. Now go lie in it."

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"I chose velociraptors as my fear because I was under the impression that they were extinct! But apparently not! Where the [bleep] did Chris find living raptors anyway?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Scarlett reluctantly walked over to the cage and locked herself within. A few seconds later, the raptors were trying to get her out of the cage, with no luck.

* * *

Chris looked at Cody, who was looking at a bomb set on several trash cans. "Okay, so you have ten minutes to defuse this garbage bomb. Here are the bomb schematics. Starting…now!" He handed Cody a blueprint, and the timer on the bomb began counting down. He then started to walk away.

"You're not gonna stay and watch?" Cody asked.

"No! That's a live bomb, dude!" Chris said. Cody cringed.

Gwen and Trent were standing near a hole in the beach, with a coffin-like glass container next to Gwen. "I can't do this," Gwen panicked.

"It's okay. You have enough air for an hour, and you only need to last five minutes," Trent consoled her. "Besides," he held up a walkie-talkie, "I'll be with you the entire time." Reluctantly, Gwen climbed into the container, which two of the interns, Dakota and a guy with spiky brown hair, lowered into the hole. They then buried the container.

"Just yell for me if you panic, and I'll dig you up," Trent told Gwen over the walkie-talkie.

* * *

Across the beach, Courtney and Scott were looking at a different glass container, this one holding a shark. Scott was clearly scared, and didn't want to touch the shark.

"It's okay, Scott. It's not gonna hurt you," Courtney encouraged.

"You don't know that," Scott replied, terrified out of his wits.

"Your fear of sharks, it's really bad, isn't it?" Courtney asked.

The dirt farmer nodded, saying, "Remember the cliff dive? If Rodney hadn't picked me up and jumped like that, I wouldn't have jumped."

Courtney thought for a moment, then offered, "I could do it with you if it made it easier."

She took his hand, then placed it on the shark. He petted the shark warily, then pulled back his hand.

"Good enough for a point!" Chris announced, and the Bass's counter went up to 1/11. "And Scarlett made it the full five minutes, so that's two points for the Bass!" The counter went up to 2/11, with Scarlett approaching, muttering curses under her breath.

Rodney saw the whole exchange, and his eyes widened.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Courtney...likes Scott?" Rodney began to grin excitedly, his former crush on Courtney completely forgotten. "Scott finally has a girlfriend! I'm so happy!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Back with Trent and Gwen, Gwen asked Trent to tell her about his fear of mimes to take her mind off of being buried. Trent began his story.

"When I was four, my mom took me to this carnival to see the elephants. I was stoked."

"Yeah?"

"I was so busy watching them that I lost her for a minute. I called out for her, but all I saw was this creepy black-and-white face pretending to be me. I screamed and tried to run, but every time I turned around, he was there, doing his creepy fake scream-and-run routine." A gloved hand tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around to see a mime standing behind him. He screamed, dropped the walkie-talkie, and ran.

"Trent? Trent?" Gwen asked, receiving no answer.

The mime chased Trent past the Bass. Tyler said, "Just tell him to leave you alone, bro!" Trent stopped and panted. The mime stopped too, and pretended to climb over a wall.

"There's no wall, man! Quit being creepy!" Trent said, running out onto the dock. The mime kept "climbing." Trent hyperventilated, then jumped off the dock into the water.

The mime looked down at Trent. Trent saw that the mime hadn't jumped after him, and pumped his fist. "Woo-hoo! What's the matter, mime? Can't swim?"

To his horror, the mime took a deep breath and prepared to dive. "Stop!" Trent called. "Uh, your makeup will run." The mime nodded sadly, admitting defeat. Trent cheered, "Take that, you makeup-wearing freak!"

"Nicely played, Trent," Chris told him, as the Badgers' point counter went up to 1/11.

"I guess. Have you ever felt like you were forgetting something?" Trent asked.

"Yeah. Usually I just ignore the feeling 'til it goes away," the host replied. "I'd better go check on Cody. He's probably buried in garbage by now."

"Bury? Oh no! Gwen!" Trent panicked and ran back to where Gwen was buried, and began digging her up.

After he dug her out, the Badgers' counter went to 2/11.

Bridgette walked aimlessly around after playing a game of tic-tac-toe with herself. "Only three hours and forty-five minutes left to go! I know you're trying to freak me out, producers. It won't work," she said.

* * *

The scene cut to Shawn and Alejandro, who were in the woods. Suddenly, they heard groaning. They looked behind them to see a horde of zombies. Both freaked out at the sight, Shawn screaming, "Zombies!" Shawn climbed a tree, while Alejandro ran away.

The zombies climbed after Shawn, who said, "They can climb? Everything I know is wrong!" He then kicked the zombie closest to him. The zombie said, "Ow!"

"Wait, zombies don't talk," Shawn said. "And they don't feel pain, either." He pulled on the zombie's head, and the mask came off, revealing Dakota.

"Dakota?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah, it's me. Guess you win a point," Dakota said, the score showing the Moose's score going up to 3/13.

* * *

Chef's plane landed, and Owen jumped out, obviously happy to be on solid ground. Izzy followed, saying, "I think I'm over my fear of flying now." Chef got out of the plane too, and as the three of them walked away, the plane fell apart. However, the Moose's score went up to 5/13.

The camera cut to the foot of the mountain, where Ezekiel and Max were standing. Ezekiel steeled himself and gave a thumbs-up. Max gave one too, more hesitantly.

* * *

**Confessional: Max**

"I wasn't about to let that simpleton outshine me!"

**End confessional**

* * *

A large amount of artificial snow came down and swept both boys off their feet. Ezekiel got up, climbing out of the snow. Ella helped Max up. Max shouted, "Ha! As if your snow could defeat _e-vil_!"

Ella decided to make a snow angel. She began to sing:

" _Snow in the summer is a nice surprise,_

_It's so fun to play in the snow and the ice_

_You've conquered your fears, now before it must go_

_We can have lots of fun in the snow!"_

Ezekiel, not listening, sprinted away. Max, however, shrugged and made a snow angel too.

A counter showed the Bass's score go up to 3/11, and the Gophers' to 2/12. Suddenly an explosion was heard. "And that would be Cody's garbage bomb," Chris said dismissively.

* * *

The scene cut to the theater, where Beardo was preparing to read his speech, which was the Shakespeare oration that Noah performed in the talent show. Beardo started out diffidently, but gradually got more confident as he read. Beth and Ella cheered loudly for him.

The Gophers got their point, bringing their team's score to 3.

* * *

The scene cut to Aiden running away from the septic tank, vomiting profusely. Chef shook his head.

* * *

Jasmine and Brick were in a cramped, dark cave, needing to stay inside for five minutes.

"So...what's the story with you being afraid of cramped spaces?" Brick asked.

"Well, it has to do with my height," his amazonian teammate answered. "I've had to deal with cramped spaces more often than I'd like, and I've become really uncomfortable with them. What about you? Why are you scared of the dark?"

"I don't really want to talk about that."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Who do you think we should vote out if we lose?"

"Probably Max. He doesn't seem that bright."

"Makes sense. Although I don't like Duncan very much. He's lazy, and not at all a team player."

"I can see that you two don't get along, but Duncan at least has some skill, even though he's a [bleep]."

"The stereotype of Australians cursing a lot. Is that accurate?"

"Oh, mate, it's as bloody accurate as can be. [bleep] is a term of endearment where I'm from."

Brick's eyes widened momentarily, leaving the assumption that whatever curse word Jasmine used was a big one in Canada.

"Oh, hey, look. Our five minutes are up," he said, looking at the digital timer Chris gave them. As they exited the cave, the Gophers' score went up to 5.

* * *

Next was Lightning, who was given a test that said, "This test is worth 90% of your grade." Below that, it was all in Russian. Lightning gulped.

* * *

Geoff was running across the beach, being pelted by hailstones from a miniature cloud. Chris moved the joystick on his controller, laughing. "You have to stand still!"

* * *

The seven victims of Chris's dressing room were all noticeably displeased with their predicaments, especially Topher when Sierra said, "Now your outside matches your inside!" However, it was Anne Maria who cracked in the end, and she washed off her hair dye.

"If we lose because of you, I will make sure you get the boot," Jo threatened.

"Relax. We ain't gonna lose," Anne Maria said.

* * *

**Confessional: Anne Maria**

"Yeah, I wanna win the five million, but not at the expense of my looks! All this," she gestured to herself, "is worth a billion, easy."

**Confessional: Jo**

"Tan-in-a-can thinks she's all that, but she's going to sabotage herself with her attitude. I wouldn't have a problem with her being dead weight, but she's dead weight on _my_ team."

**End confessional**

* * *

Noah was standing a few feet away from a clown. "Just shake his hand and take a balloon from him," Chris encouraged.

Noah sighed, knowing he had no choice. He walked slowly up to the clown, shook his hand, and let him tie a balloon around his wrist.

"See? That wasn't so hard, now, was it?" Chris asked, in a tone that might be used when talking to a small child.

"I hate you," Noah replied, deadpan as ever.

The scene cut to Eva. Chef held up a bat for her to pet. She screamed and ran away.

* * *

**Confessional: Eva**

"I just really don't like bats, okay? Once, when I was six, I went exploring in a cave, and I got lost. And there were all these bats... _so many bats_ …"

**End confessional**

* * *

Jo shook her head sadly. "I really expected more from Eva."

Topher shook his head. "Some people just can't take the pressure."

* * *

Sam was sitting out in the wilderness, feeling pretty good about himself. "There's nothing scary out here," he said to himself. "I just have to last one more hour. After that, level complete!"

As if on cue, Cody, still covered in garbage, emerged from the woods, scaring Sam. "Shawn was right! There are zombies here!" the gamer screamed, and ran away as fast as he could.

* * *

Zoey stood behind Chris, and said, "You're sure the bear is trained not to attack?"

The host reassured her, "Absolutely. Just pet him, and you complete your challenge."

Zoey nervously walked up to a bear held on a leash by Chef, and patted its fur. The bear sniffed her, then gently licked her hand.

"Aww. You're just like a gigantic dog, aren't you," Zoey said to the bear. "If only the other bears on this island were this tame."

The Badgers' counter went up to 4/11.

* * *

Rodney held a tan snake in his hand. "You're sure it's not poisonous," he said to the host.

"You're thinking of Crotalus viridis, the Prairie Rattlesnake," Harold told him. "That is Hypsiglena torquata, the Night Snake. It's quite harmless."

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"I have a theory that Rodney has a developmental disorder, though I cannot be sure which one at this stage. I could use it to manipulate him, but he appears loyal to Scott, meaning I cannot assure myself of his loyalty. I think it best that he gets eliminated soon, though perhaps not immediately."

**End confessional**

* * *

DJ cringed at the sight of the snake. It blinked at him, and he screamed. "it blinked at me!"

"Aww. It means she likes you," Lindsay said."

"Hey, if I can conquer my fear, you can conquer your fear too," Rodney offered.

DJ steeled himself, and picked up the snake. The Bass counter went to 5/11.

* * *

Duncan was facing a Celine Dion standee. "Just one hug, and your team gets the point," Chris told him.

Duncan looked at the standee, and cringed. "I can't do it," he said.

Chris said, "And Duncan fails his challenge. Weak, man."

* * *

Lightning hesitantly turned in his test. It was, quite frankly, a disaster, and Chris wrote "F" at the top. He then said, "You get the point."

The Moose's counter went up to 4. Lightning sighed in relief.

* * *

Ella looked at what looked like a green apple in her hand uncertainly. "Because we couldn't actually poison you, we went with this," Chris told her. "That is a manchineel fruit, sometimes known as the _manzana de muerta_ , or 'apple of death.' Don't worry, it won't kill you. All the same, after you take your bite, spit it out. It's going to be so much worse if you swallow it."

Ella took a deep breath, then took a bite of the fruit. She immediately spat it out, then showed her mouth to the camera, showing that it was swollen.

"Point number 9 for the Gophers! Now go report to the infirmary."

* * *

Sammy crawled out of the pen full of goats, having earned the Gophers their ninth point. "Good job, Samey!" Chris said. "Unfortunately, I don't think we're making any progress with Tyler, here."

The camera panned over to show Tyler curled up into a ball, shaking, trying not to look at the hen near him.

* * *

Mike backed up to the wall, Chef standing in front of him, holding an axe and wearing a hockey mask. He shouted, "I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do here!"

"Hm, good point. There doesn't really seem to be an objective here," the host said thoughtfully. "Tell you what, because you were able to think straight enough to realize that, I'll give you the point, okay?"

"Works for me," Mike said. The Bass counter went up to 6.

* * *

Chris announced, "Now, for Sky's challenge." Dakota held up a box of roaches. "You have to stand still and let them crawl all over you!"

Sky gulped, but let Dakota dump the box of roaches on her. Dakota ran to the communal washrooms, where retching noises could be heard.

* * *

"Okay, we have two campers left," Chris announced. "Courtney an Sierra. I would now like to announce that B, Topher, Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, Jo, and Justin may now have their accessories removed. That's three points for the Badgers, two for the Bass, one for the Moose, and one for the Gophers, bringing the totals to 8.5, 8, 8, and 9, respectively.

"Thank you!" Jo shouted, leaving to go get her sweatshirt and sweatpants back. B headed in a different direction to go to the infirmary to get his casts removed.

Lindsay, Katie, and Sadie all removed their wigs. "I, like, totally forgot how pretty you guys looked!" Lindsay said.

"Aww! Thanks! You look so pretty too!" Katie and Sadie replied.

Justin removed the fake teeth and the wig, and began removing the temporary tattoo from his face. He said to Topher, "I, like, totally forgot how pretty I looked!"

"I feel you, man. I feel you," Topher replied as he did the same thing.

Courtney looked down from the high dive, into a pool of green gelatin. She gulped. "This cannot be safe. I could seriously die doing this."

"Yes, there have been many fatalities ascribed to diving into pools of green jelly," Noah snarked.

"Really?" Lindsay asked him.

"No," Noah said, annoyed she hadn't picked up on his sarcasm.

"Oh. Well, then don't tell lies like that," Lindsay said.

Noah rolled his eyes.

Sensing Courtney's weakness, Gwen said, "Oh, that is just cruel. It's probably warm by now. Warm, jiggly, bouncy, snotty, ugh!"

"Pay her no heed! She's simply trying to influence your mind!" Scarlett called.

"Yeah! You can do it, Courtney!" her team called.

"If you lose for us, you're going home!" Scarlett shouted.

"Here, come on down! I know you can do it!" Scott shouted. He scooped out a handful and ate it. "Oh, that's so good. You should come down and have some! It's delicious!"

Courtney looked at Scott, took a deep breath, and jumped. She landed a few feet away from him, and started making for the side of the pool immediately.

"And that is 9 points for the Bass!" Chris announced. "Now, Sierra must complete her challenge to reach nine points for her team to get first place, by a margin of their half-point bonus."

"Love this challenge, Chris," Topher said. "Let's get to Sierra's challenge. I can't wait to see her fail."

"Good idea, Topher," Chris said. "Finally, we have Sierra's challenge. You have to watch as I burn every one of the old projects I regret doing. And no trying to save any of them, you hear?"

The camera shifted to a pile of old movies, CDs, and Chris McLean paraphernalia. Chris lit a poster of himself on fire, and the camera focused on the resulting fire for a few seconds before someone yelled "Stop!"

It was Chris. "Even if the projects sucked, I can't just let so much stuff with my face on it burn! Sierra, help me!"

"Do I get the point?" Sierra asked.

"Yes! Now help me save these!" Chris shouted. The Moose groaned, knowing they had lost.

"I didn't really expect anything from Stage Fright, String Bean, or Choking Hazard," Jo said to Eva and Leshawna, "but I thought you two were tougher than this! I guess not, though."

Lightning added, "Lightning thinks all five of you should get the boot."

Aiden looked at Anne Maria and rolled his eyes. Anne Maria said, "I know, right? What are they gettin' so worked up over?" She either didn't notice Jo and Lightning glaring at her, or didn't care.

* * *

The scene cut to the campfire ceremony, where all of the Moose members who had completed their challenges were holding marshmallows. "Anne Maria, Cody, Eva, and LeShawna, you four did not complete your challenges. The next two marshmallows go to Eva, Leshawna, and...Aiden."

He then held up the last marshmallow. "Cody, Anne Maria, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. Whoever does not get this marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never return. The final marshmallow goes to..."

_"Cody."_

Cody sighed with relief. Anne Maria stood up. "Fine, fine. I'm too good for this dump anyways." She then walked down the dock, and boarded the boat, which sailed away. Chris turned back to the twelve remaining members of the Moose team, and said, "The rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> Gophers: Succeeded: 9 (B, Sammy, Brick, Jasmine, Max, Ella, Beardo, Beth, Heather), Failed: 2 (Duncan, Dawn)
> 
> Bass: Succeeded: 9 (Scott, Rodney, Scarlett, Ezekiel, Topher, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Courtney), Failed: 2 (Sam, Tyler)
> 
> Moose: Succeeded: 8 (Shawn, Lightning, Jo, Cameron, Owen, Noah, Izzy, Harold), Failed: 5 (Cody, Eva, Anne Maria, Leshawna, Aiden)
> 
> Badgers: Succeeded: 9 (Trent, Gwen, Bridgette, Sky, Zoey, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra), Failed: 2 (Alejandro, Geoff), +1/2 point bonus
> 
> I know the counters were not reliable this episode. Just chalk it up to Chris being bad at math.
> 
> Thoughts on Anne Maria? I don't hate her, I just don't care about her. I had no ideas of what to do with her outside of a possible rivalry with Sugar, who is gone now, so I got rid of her.
> 
> This is not one of my favorite episodes in canon. Tyler's elimination is the main reason for that, as while Courtney still had some plot remaining, there's no way her team would realistically have kept her over Tyler when not only was her fear more pathetic, but she lost an opportunity to single-handedly give her team the win.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Mean Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject


	9. Up The Creek

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Max, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Rodney, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Izzy, Jo, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the campers playing games and talking. Max, Ella, Cody, Sam, and Harold were playing cards.

"With this hand, I shall crush you all! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!" Max said, showing his cards, which were a pair of nines, a three, a queen, and a seven.

"Try that again, but with just two 'ha's this time," suggested Harold.

Max did so: "Mwa-ha-ha!" Once he had done his evil laugh, lightning struck in the background. Max was pleased by this. "Hey, I perfected my evil laugh!"

Ella, happy for her friend, said, "Oh, that's wonderful!"

Harold then said, "Congratulations on perfecting your evil laugh, but you did not crush me with that hand!" He then laid down his cards, revealing a pair of jacks, a pair of fives, and a two. Cody, Ella, and Sam threw their cards down in defeat.

Over the speaker, Chris announced, "All campers report to the Dock of Shame!"

"Yes sir!" Max said, as the campers all did so.

* * *

Once all of the campers were at the Dock of Shame, Chris began explaining the challenge. "Today's challenge is a canoe trip...to Boney Island!" Beardo made a scare chord noise at this.

"Sounds exciting!" Sierra said.

"I'm sure it'll make for great TV!" Topher added.

"For the first part of the challenge, you'll have to canoe to the island. Then, you portage your canoes across the island." Upon receiving blank looks from the campers, he explained, "Walk with your canoes."

"Then, you'll have to build a signal fire, which will be judged by _moi_. After that, it's a race back to camp!"

"Oh, and one more thing. If you take anything from Boney Island, you'll be cursed! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"You have to laugh a certain way if you want the lightning to appear!" Max added helpfully. Chris frowned at him.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"A cursed island? I had better be on my guard against zombies. If there are any, though, there is at least a bit of good news. Magically generated zombies can't turn people into zombies just by biting them, so we've got an advantage!"

**Confessional: Aiden**

"A cursed island that curses anyone who takes anything away from it? This could be the perfect opportunity to get rid of Multiple Mike!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Because the Badgers won the last challenge, they get a ten-minute head start. Now partner up!" Chris started a timer.

"Hey, can I partner up with..." Geoff began, approaching Bridgette, but was cut off.

"Hew, wanna be partners?" Bridgette asked Gwen.

"Sure," Gwen agreed.

"Here, I'll partner up with you," Trent offered.

"Thanks, man," Geoff got in a canoe with Trent.

Katie, Sadie, and Sierra partnered up, while Justin and Alejandro took another canoe, leaving Zoey with Sky. The other three teams watched them depart.

"Man, I thought me and Bridge were tight, but it's feeling kinda weird between us lately, like I did something wrong," Geoff said to Trent as they paddled.

"I know the feeling," Trent said in response. "You think everything is just fine, then she starts acting awkward around you, and before you know it, she says you're too 'clingy,' and that the relationship isn't working, and the next day, she's making out with some guy that isn't you."

"Oh, did that happen to you?" Geoff asked.

"Yes," Trent answered honestly.

"Well, maybe you can explain what I did wrong, if you're okay with listening to me talk about everything I did," Geoff offered.

"Sure, man. I got nothing better to do. Did you do anything before she started acting awkward?"

"Well, I did give her an awesome gift this morning," the surfer dude began.

The scene shifted to Gwen and Bridgette. "Oh my gosh, Gwen, it was so bad!" Bridgette said as a flashback began. "I had just come back from brushing my teeth, and there it was," she said as the camera showed her looking at a heart-shaped container, decorated with macaroni and two different pictures, one of Geoff and one of Bridgette, put together and cut into a heart shape.

"That does sound bad," Gwen agreed.

"I know, right? And it gets worse!" Bridgette exclaimed. "There was an inscription etched into the back."

"It said, 'I hope you think of me whenever you drop loose change into this,'" Geoff stated proudly as the camera went back to the boys. "I made it in arts and crafts." Trent groaned.

"Geoff, you're not supposed to do handmade gifts at this point, unless it's, like, her birthday or something. Handmade gifts are for later, when you're both comfortably in your relationship. At this point, it just makes you look desperate. Trust me, I know from experience," the musician said.

"I messed up, didn't I?" Geoff asked. Trent nodded.

Suddenly, Sierra pointed out something. "Look! That must be Boney Island!"

The island looked like it would be spooky if the sky was filled with clouds, but the sky was clear.

"Hmm. Doesn't look that scary," Gwen commented. However, as they got closer, dark clouds appeared in the sky, and the island grew much spookier.

"You jinxed it," Katie accused.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have said anything," Sadie agreed. Gwen sighed.

* * *

Back at Wawanakwa, the other three teams were getting into their canoes. DJ nervously asked, "Do canoes flip over often?"

Scarlett answered, "No, why?"

DJ sighed in relief. "I'm scared of water, ever since the _wedgie flop_." He put on a life jacket.

* * *

**Confessional: DJ**

"My brothers dared me to jump off the high dive when I was eight. I was scared, but I jumped. I landed on my butt, which doesn't sound too bad, but my trunks went so far up there I had to go to the hospital to get 'em removed."

 **End** **confessional**

* * *

Scarlett, Lindsay, and Tyler had all gotten into the same canoe.

Scarlett said to the two, "I think the two of you might be at risk of elimination should we lose. But I might be able to help you."

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"Who would my ideal final three be? Me and two people with low intelligence and zero athletic ability. And Lindsay and Tyler fit perfectly. The hard part will be keeping the two in the game during the voting phase, but with my superior intellect, I can do it."

**End confessional**

* * *

Lindsay looked at Scarlett. "Why would you say that? People like us."

Scarlett answered, "Be that as it may, you aren't considered especially useful. Without my help, you might escape elimination once or twice, but the chances of one or both of you making the merge are slight."

Tyler asked, "What? Why? I'm useful! I'm a great athlete!"

Scarlett answered, "Your teammates would disagree. They all think you are clumsy and useless."

Tyler scowled. "They really said that?" Scarlett nodded. Tyler said, "I'm in."

Lindsay frowned, but said, "I'm in too."

Scarlett said, "Good. Oh, and, don't tell anyone about this deal."

* * *

**Confessional: Tyler**

"I can't believe them! I thought my teammates were cool! They really want to get rid of me?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Rodney had chosen Topher as his paddle partner, and chose to ask a question. "Topher, you've broken up with a girl before. How do I break up with a girl?

"You need to break up with a girl? Who?" Topher asked.

"Scarlett," Rodney answered. "I was involved with her, but I need to break up with her now, so I can date Bridgette."

"You want my advice? Dump her as quickly as possible," Topher told him. "If you drag it out for too long, you will not only end up hurting her even more than if you break it off quickly, but your breakup will also be hard for the audience to watch."

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"I really need the ratings for this show to be good. If I'm going to be a reality show host, my television debut needs to be popular."

**End confessional**

* * *

Izzy was loudly telling outlandish stories. "Okay, so last summer I was training with the Reserves, and I got in trouble when I blew up a building, haha. That's why the RCMP is still all over my butt. I'm so totally AWOL!"

Aiden, who was in the canoe with her, looked at her, clearly exhausted.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Okay, as soon as Multi-freak is gone, she's next."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Moose team approached Boney Island, slightly ahead of the two other teams. "Where's King Kong?" Noah asked sarcastically.

"King Kong? Ain't that the ruler of North Korea?" Lightning asked. Noah facepalmed.

Shawn said, "Remember, everyone, don't take anything. And watch for zombies."

Jo replied, "I'd make fun of you, but if there ever is a zombie apocalypse, it will probably start here."

The Gophers were the next to make landfall. B quickly lifted his canoe onto his shoulder. Ominous music played in the background, until the camera showed that Beardo was the source of said ominous music.

Max said gleefully, "This island would be the perfect place for an evil lair!"

Duncan replied, "Chris will probably try turning it into his personal resort."

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Tried it already. The workers disappeared."

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick insisted on carrying the canoe himself. "Let me do it."

Sammy responded, "I should help. I rode in the canoe too."

Brick shook his head. "It's my responsibility. Just let me do it myself." He took the canoe, and ran ahead on his own. Sammy sighed.

The Bass arrived last. Topher commented, "Now this what I call atmosphere! Perfect location for a haunted island, as expected from the man himself."

Mike said, "I wish I had a fedora, or some similar hat. I have an adventurer personality that would probably thrive here."

"How many personalities do you have?" Rodney asked.

Mike hesitated. "Just five. Chester, Svetlana, Vito, Manitoba, and me."

"Fascinating," Scarlett said. "I shall work on acquiring a fedora after the challenge. For now, we should concentrate on crossing the island."

Mike nodded, then the Bass started pursuing the other teams.

* * *

The scene cut to the Badgers rushing through the forest, passing an eerie number of human skeletons. "This challenge seems kinda...dangerous," Sky remarked.

"I know, isn't it great?" Sierra replied.

"Not really," Sky replied.

They then reached a fork in the path. "Great, which way?" That was Gwen.

"The right path is slightly wider," Alejandro pointed out. "We could move faster that way."

The Moose caught up to them in time to see that the badgers were going right. Shawn said, "They're going right, so we should go left."

Jo asked, "Why? If it's the wrong path, we'll be the only ones to drop behind."

Shawn replied, "That's a risk we will have to take. If it's the right path, we'll be in first."

* * *

As the Badger team was going forwards, Trent, who was in the lead, began sinking into the ground. "Uhh, guys? I think there's quicksand here."

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

Chris was laughing uncontrollably. "Did you see that? I set that up, but I didn't think anyone would actually fall into it!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Katie rushed forwards to help him. Geoff shouted, "Wait!" But Katie got stuck in the quicksand as well. "Wow, I totally did _not_ see that coming," she remarked, without a hint of sarcasm. Gwen facepalmed.

"Geoff! Catch!" Bridgette threw the two of them a vine and pulled them out of the quicksand.

Just then, the Gophers arrived. "Stop! There is quicksand here," Alejandro warned.

"Great. How do we get across?" Heather wondered.

B stared at the quicksand for a moment, then looked at the canoe he was carrying on his shoulder. He set it down in the quicksand, and used it as a bridge to cross the quicksand.

"B, you're a genius!" Dawn exclaimed, and she crossed the canoe after him.

The other Gophers and the Badgers repeated the tactic with the other canoes, and the teams continued running, until they came up on monster beavers with large tusks. The beavers growled at them.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"The woolly beaver is a remnant of the Pleistocene era, only found on Boney Island. Oh, and they're meat eaters."

**End confessional**

* * *

"On second thought, perhaps this would not be the ideal location for my evil lair," Max commented.

"You think?" Gwen asked sarcastically.

B looked scared, but then his eyes lit up, and he turned to Beardo. He mimed a creature roaring, and Beardo realized what he wanted. "You want me to roar at them?" B nodded. Beardo obliged, letting out an earth-shattering roar. The beavers turned and ran.

* * *

**Confessional: Geoff**

"Man, I wish we had the big guy on our team. We'd never lose!"

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"It seems B will be a very dangerous foe. Once the merge hits, he will have to be the first to be sent home."

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick was obviously struggling with carrying the canoe by himself. Eventually, he fell over, and the canoe landed on top of him.

"He won't admit that he needs help," Dawn told Sammy. "Brick has a need to place as much responsibility as possible on himself."

Sammy sighed, and lifted one end of the canoe. Brick said, "Wait! I can do it!"

Sammy shook her head. "You don't have to do this by yourself. And I want to help. Please, just let me help you."

As she watched Sammy help Brick, Dawn smiled.

* * *

The Moose and the Bass weren't faring as well. The two teams had managed to get cornered by a group of velociraptors.

"So that answers the question of where Chris found velociraptors," Scarlett commented.

"Oh, no, I am NOT getting eaten by dinosaurs!" Shawn shouted. "Think zombies, think zombies..." he repeated to himself. "Zombies!" He charged the raptors, and attacked them. He beat the velociraptors, punching and kicking them, shouting, "Headshot! Headshot! Headshot!"

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Fear isn't just a good motivator, it's the best motivator!"

**End confessional**

* * *

The two teams followed Shawn's example and fought the rap as well as they could, using their paddles as weapons. Upon seeing Eva take out several raptors with her paddle one-handed, Cody exclaimed meaningfully, "Wow, you're so strong!"

Eva caught Cody's meaning. "Sorry, you're not my type." Cody's shoulders sagged.

Suddenly, the raptors started running away. The campers cheered, but then they saw the pterodactyls coming towards them and started running. "Now we're gonna be eaten by flying dinosaurs!" Owen cried.

"Actually—" both Harold and Scarlett began, but were cut off by Lindsay: "Ptero-somethings are pterosaurs, not dinosaurs."

Upon the surprised silence of the group, she said, "What? It's in the name. Ptero-bird things are pterosaurs. I know stuff too."

* * *

The four teams reached the opposite beach, all in a hurry. Each of them quickly set up a stack of firewood to set alight. However, the first to actually set it alight was the Gophers. When the other teams looked at the Gopher team, Duncan held up a lighter.

"No rule against carrying lighters," Chris said from the helicopter. "Gophers, go!"

The Gophers immediately set off from the island, rowing as fast as they could. Ella sang as they rowed,

_"We're safe from the island, we're fleeing the curse,_

_We're rowing away before it gets_ worse."

Scott shouted, "Stupid local Duncan, got to bring a lighter. Stupid airline!" He then started vigorously trying to start the fire.

Aiden looked at the Bass team, and steeped away. He then looked in a bush, and saw a tiki doll. "What have we here?"

Izzy ran out of the forest, holding an orange blob. Shawn had already started a sizeable flame, but Izzy said, "It's a fire-starter. I made it from tree sap and sand. Watch," and she threw the orb into the fire, and it made a huge explosion.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Wow, I have got to learn how to make one of those!"

 **Confessional** : **Izzy**

"One of the voices, I call him Explosivo, teaches me how to make bombs out of almost anything." She hesitated. "Do you think Explosivo might be crazy?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Whoa. Okay, the Moose can go now!" Chris announced, and the Moose began racing to catch up with the Gophers.

Aiden was one of the last to push off, and he was clutching his hand in pain.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"I slipped that idol into Mike's pocket when everyone was looking at the explosion. Then I snuck a hot coal into one of their boats. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have used my bare hand, but I had to think quickly."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badgers and the Bass rapidly raced to make fire, until Scott finally got it and the Bass's fire began to blaze. Chris okayed the Bass to go, and they began rowing as quickly as possible to catch up. The Badgers got fire several seconds later, and followed suit.

The Moose rapidly began to catch up with the Gophers. As they all approached the finish line, the Moose increasingly closed the gap until the two teams were neck-and-neck.

The Bass were staying ahead of the Badgers, until Sam noticed something wrong. "Uhh, the boat is sinking." DJ, his rowing partner, looked and saw the hole the coal had left in the boat, and began to panic. The Bass rushed to try to find room for the two. Eventually, they managed to move Scarlett and Lindsay into two other boats, and DJ and Sam into the boat with Tyler. However, it ultimately took too long. By the time they had sorted out the issue, the Badgers had gotten far ahead.

"And the Moose win! Second place goes to the Gophers!" the campers heard. Soon after, they heard, "Third place goes to the Badgers! Bass, I will see you at elimination!"

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"That went perfectly! Now, they will vote out Mike for cursing their team! Or if they haven't found out yet, the curse might even take them all out!" He applied ointment to his burned hand, and rubbed his hands together vigorously.

 **End** **confessional**

* * *

At the elimination ceremony, Chris held a plate of marshmallows. "Wow, today was not a good day for you, was it? Marshmallows go to Scott, Scarlett, DJ, Topher, Courtney, Mike, Lindsay, Rodney, and Ezekiel. Sam, Tyler, neither of you really messed up today, but you both seem more or less expendable. The final marshmallow goes to..."

"IZZY! WE KNOW YOU ARE DOWN THERE! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"

From the distance, Izzy could be heard shouting, "You'll never take me alive!" as an RCMP helicopter flew towards the cabins.

"Well, I guess that answers that question," Chris said, and popped the marshmallow in his own mouth.

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"I know my team was sabotaged. I borrowed an intern's cell phone and contacted the RCMP to keep us from having to follow through on the elimination. And after this challenge, whoever sabotaged us shall _pay_."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Hey, Gwen, do you have any glue?" Bridgette asked, holding broken ceramic pieces.

"No," Gwen answered, "But why are you trying to fix it? I thought you didn't like it."

"Maybe I do," Bridgette answered thoughtfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: Izzy is a very hard character for me to write. Also, I thought it would make more sense for Scarlett to exploit some alternative way to get an enemy out when her team lost, providing someone she wanted to eliminate wasn't on the chopping block.
> 
> Speaking of which, this is the first villain-based elimination of the story, isn't it? I'm not counting Sugar because Aiden didn't really do much. I've mostly been getting rid of the cannon fodder up to this point, but now the antagonists are going to start taking a more active role. Feel free to start guessing who will be targeted, and by whom.
> 
> Thoughts on Izzy? Complicated. Izzy is funny, but she's a lousy game-player. She was one of the few highlights of Total Drama Action along with Lindsay and Harold, that I can say for certain. And if you think this is the last we shall see of Izzy...it's Izzy. This is not the last we'll see of her.
> 
> DJ overcoming his fear of water didn't happen in this episode, so that will have to be addressed later.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (Still out there?)


	10. Runaway Model

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Leonard, Max, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Rodney, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened in the mess hall, where an arm-wrestling match was taking place between Eva and Lightning. Lightning was putting up a good fight, but Eva forced his arm back little by little until she finally managed to beat him.

"Whew. Haven't arm-wrestled anybody as strong as you in ages," Eva said, before taking a deep swig from her water bottle.

"Whatever, Angry Girl. Lightning's still the _fastest_ person on the island," Lightning said, obviously ashamed of losing to Eva.

Duncan, who had taken bets on the match, said loudly, "That's a victory for Eva. Collect your winnings if you bet on Eva. Bad luck if you bet on Lightning."

Jo scoffed. "That's not so impressive. I could beat her in my sleep."

Eva gave her a death glare. "Want to test that? I'll try not to break your wrist."

Duncan, seeing an opportunity, shouted, "Taking bets now! Two to one on Jo! Even money on Eva!"

"I can't believe you! Seriously, gambling?" Brick demanded.

"Hey, it's just a harmless bet," Duncan said as he took a dollar bill from Ezekiel.

"No, it's a _lot_ of bets. And did you charge a commission for betting?" Brick demanded.

"Yeah, so? I gotta make sure I turn a profit on these bets somehow. The amounts bet on Eva and on Lightning were pretty much the same," Duncan explained, as he took small amounts of money from some campers and gave small amounts of money to others.

"I can't believe you!" Brick shouted, clearly upset by Duncan's attitude.

"Brick, let it go," Sammy told him. Brick relaxed slightly, still obviously miffed by Duncan's gambling and his attitude.

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"Duncan's refusal to be a team player really frustrates me. The most important part of the game is teamwork. Otherwise, we wouldn't be in teams!"

**Confessional: Duncan**

"Seriously, that guy has no chill at all. I'm just trying to have some harmless fun. It's not like I'm breaking everyone's stuff, or trying to date several girls at the same time. I'm just taking bets!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Attention, campers! Report to the arts & crafts tent for your challenge!" Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker.

"We'll talk about this later," Brick told Duncan, with challenge in his voice.

* * *

At the arts and crafts tent, the campers were surprised to see a large collection of fabrics and sewing equipment. "What is all this stuff?" Scott asked.

"It's your challenge for today. I know your last challenge was kinda stressful, and could be considered 'cruel,' so today we're doing something _fun_ and _relaxing_ ," Chris explained.

"This doesn't look fun or relaxing," Eva said, examining a sewing machine.

"Yeah, well, it was this or leech paintball," Chris said. "I'd be willing to do that instead, if you want. This is more Chef's kind of challenge." The campers were all quick to affirm that no, they did not want to do that instead.

"Yeah, guys, this actually seems like a lot of fun," Lindsay squealed.

"Let us explain the challenge first," Chris said. "Chef?"

"Today's challenge is in two parts," Chef explained. "For the first part, you will choose one of your team members as the model for your team. "You will then create an outfit for your team's model, and they will model said outfit at a runway show, where Chris and I will judge. The first part will determine the winners of today's challenge, and the teams that lose this part will compete in the second challenge. Questions? No? Good."

"Also, as the winners of last challenge, the Moose do not have to participate in today's challenge," Chris declared, surprising the campers.

"But that's not fair!" Courtney protested.

"You want to talk not fair?" Jo demanded. "Even though we _won_ the challenge last time, we were the ones that lost a team member!"

"Yeah, sorry not sorry," Chris said. "We figured we would compensate the Moose for their loss by making sure they couldn't lose today. But they can't win either, so no matter what happens, they will be subjected to Chef's cooking."

"That does seem like a fair punishment for getting out of the challenge," Noah remarked. Chef growled at him.

"C'mon, team, let's go play soccer or something," Jo remarked as she walked away.

"Sha-yeah! I call team captain!" Lightning called as he followed her, with the rest of the team behind them.

The other three teams all formed huddles to strategize. "Okay, so we must make an outfit. Out of our whole team, Justin is the only one of us who is a professional model, so there are no objections to having him model?" Alejandro asked. All of the Badgers agreed that this was a fantastic idea. "Okay, so who should take the lead on design? Does anyone here know how to sew?"

"I could do it," Zoey offered. "I sew all of my own clothes, so this should go just fine."

On the Gophers, Heather had decided to take charge. "I'm modeling. Anyone have a problem with that?" The Gophers all shook their heads, to signify that no, they had no problem with that. "Okay, now, do any of you know how to design an outfit?"

Brick began, "I—" but was cut off by Ella. "Oh, I would love to design an outfit for you!"

"Okay, so Ella's doing the design. Let's get to work!" Heather affirmed. Brick sighed.

On the Bass, Scott said, "So, we need to make an outfit that's pretty. Lindsay, do you know how to sew?"

Lindsay smiled brightly. "Yep! I haven't made a full piece yet, but I could make something!"

Scott said, "Okay, you're on that. Now we just need a model."

"Ooh! Pick me! I've taken tons of poise classes. There's no way Chris and Chef will be able to resist _the Topher Experience!_ " Topher said excitedly.

Scott smiled. "Okay, you guys get started."

* * *

Zoey was working on the outfit for the Badgers, and Gwen was talking to her. "So, what got you interested in sewing clothes?"

Zoey answered, "Well, I'm an artist, so I took up designing and making my own clothes as a form of expressionist media. I generally have rather unusual styles, but I put a lot of effort into making them look appealing."

"But the clothes you're wearing now don't seem that unusual."

"I chose this outfit because it was practical for a competition like this."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

Justin walked up to the two, and looked at Zoey's design sketch. "Hmm. A bit costume-ish, but I would wear it."

"Good, because you're going to wear it," Gwen said.

* * *

Lindsay slammed her hand down on the table. "Nothing! No ideas! I don't even know what's in right now!"

Sam, who was nearby, said "I know what to do!" In the background, Scarlett idly picked up a fedora. She then approached Mike. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he jumped.

"If you want, I may be able to help you control your Dissociative Identity Disorder," she offered.

"Oh, um, thanks, sure, that would be very nice of you," he said nervously. "Vito and Manitoba aren't hard to control, but Chester and Svetlana just come and go when they feel like it. I could use the help."

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"So, somehow a statue from Boney Island found its way into my pocket, and ever since I found it there, I've been jumpy. Possibly being cursed gives you reason to be paranoid."

**End confessional**

* * *

Sam rushed over to where several interns were setting up the second challenge. He scanned the crowd of interns until he found one in particular. "Dakota!"

"Oh, hey, Sam!" Dakota greeted him as she rolled a barrel towards the bottom of the cliff.

"Want some help?" Sam asked.

"Thanks," Dakota said as she let Sam take the barrel.

"Okay, so, Dakota, you know our fashion challenge? So, heheh, we don't really know what to do, and, since you're always so well put-together, I figured you could give us some advice," Sam said.

"Wait, you want my advice?" Dakota asked, incredulous. "No one ever asks my advice!" She looked around, and whispered, "Okay, so this is a major secret. Like, three seasons ahead. _Stripes._ "

"Stripes?"

"Yes. They're very slimming." Then she looked at Sam's striped sweater. "Well, vertical stripes are. Horizontal stripes just make you look fat. No offense."

Sam looked down at his sweater, embarrassed. "Oh. Well, thanks Dakota. You're an angel." Dakota smiled. He then ran off, and relayed the information to Lindsay.

"Stripes? Oh, I know exactly what to make now!" Lindsay exclaimed. "Rhodes, hand me that gray cloth, over by you!"

Rodney stared at her, awestruck. He complied, and said incoherently, "Love...cloth, and hearts...sewing..."

What he didn't notice was Topher, staring at him suspiciously.

* * *

**Confessional: Rodney**

"Lindsay needs me! It's a sign! But what will I tell Bridgette?"

**Confessional: Topher**

"Okay, I know lovestruck stammering when I see it. And I see it now. And I know that if Rodney is in love with Lindsay, despite saying he was in love with Bridgette, then something is wrong."

**End confessional**

* * *

Max was wandering around near the props. "Ella needs my help. I must find something to give the design a necessary touch of _e-vil_." He then picked up a video camera and a teddy bear. "Now, which of these items is more _e-vil_?" he mused.

Brick walked up to Ella. "Can I help?"

Ella smiled. "Certainly. What do you think of my design so far?" She held up a sketch of a princess dress.

Brick thought for a moment. "Do you think adding medals would be a nice touch?"

Ella smiled. "Oh, that sounds wonderful! Do you have any other ideas?"

Brick looked at the design. "Well, I think a higher collar would look good, along with stars on the shoulders. And making it knee-length would be more practical, with boots, maybe."

Ella started to draw a new dress. "This will look wonderful! Chris and Chef will love it!"

* * *

The runway show began. Chris announced, "Welcome to the TDI runway show! Today, three models will show off the outfits created by their teams, and one will be judged the best! First up, representing the Bass, give a big round of applause for Topher Declan!"

All of the contestants except Topher, Courtney, Heather, Sammy, Justin, and Zoey were sitting on the amphitheater benches. Sierra booed loudly, while the others cheered with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

Topher walked out onto the stage, wearing a gray pinstriped suit. Courtney, who had been selected by the team to read the information on the outfit, began. "As you can see, Topher is wearing a gray pinstriped suit, made for comfortable wear while still looking presentable. The suit is suitable for business or leisure interaction with high society. Notice the slimming effects of the stripes."

Chris examined Topher. "Hmm. Yes, the stripes do have a slimming effect. And the suit is smart-looking."

Chef responded, "Yes, but gray ain't really Topher's color. A dark green or teal suit would look better on him."

"True," Chris said. "Let's see our next model, Justin LeClerc!"

Justin walked onto the stage, wearing a purple outfit with gold trim, with a waist-length cape.

Zoey began reading the information. "Observe, Justin, wearing an original piece by Zoey Pearson. Inspired by the royals of old, the purple and gold work together to give the wearer a regal look. Notice the waist-length cape in the back, suitable for keeping dust off the suit during car rides and for evoking a sense of importance."

"I like the regal theme, and purple and gold does look good on Justin," Chris conceded.

"Yeah, but it's a bit eye-catching for wear outside of parties," Chef answered.

"Also true. And finally, Heather Armstrong!" Chris announced.

Heather walked onto the stage, wearing a dress that looked like a nightmarish fusion of a Disney princess dress and a military officer's uniform.

Ella read, "The dress Heather is wearing is inspired by a combination of Cinderella and various military uniforms. It's perfect for the ball, where you might meet your prince, or for commanding your soldiers on the battlefield."

"Can't say I'm impressed," Chris said.

"I love it!" Chef said. "I want one!"

Chris then conferred with Chef, and afterwards, he announced, "We have come to a consensus! The winners of the first challenge are...the Badgers!" The Badgers cheered loudly. Chris continued, "Justin, we will need you for the second challenge. You won't be participating, it's a prop role only."

Justin smiled. "That's the kind of role I'm good at."

"Good. You and Chef head over to the bottom of the cliff now. Gophers and Bass, prepare for your second challenge!"

* * *

On the way to the cliff, Duncan walked up to Brick. "Dude, that dress was the most horrible thing I've seen in my life."

Brick's eyes teared up. "Fine. I'll stay away from fashion from now on. Happy?"

A bit further behind, Topher confronted Rodney. "Back during the first challenge, what was that with Lindsay? I thought you were into Bridgette?"

Rodney answered, "I don't know. Ever since I got here, it's been Scarlett, Courtney, Scarlett, Bridgette, Lindsay, I love them all, but then I don't anymore! I'm so confused!"

Topher asked, "What's there to be confused about? Just pick one."

"I can't!" Rodney sobbed. He hugged the wannabe host, who seemed less than pleased.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"I still have no clue what's going through his head."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the cliff face, the two remaining teams saw a setup of wooden scaffolding. At the top was Chef, a large selection of barrels, and a tied-up Justin. "For your second challenge, you must compete to rescue Justin," Chris explained. "Whoever unties him wins it for their team."

"Cool! It looks just like Donkey Kong!" Sam said.

"That was the inspiration behind it, yes," Chris replied. "Oh, and watch out for the barrels."

Sam was excited by this. "Video games in real life! This is my dream come true!"

"Any ideas?" Duncan asked Jasmine.

"We go for a three-pronged attack. Brick, you take the left support pole. Duncan, you take the right. I'll take the center." The three of them then tried climbing the poles, but were quickly met by barrels dropped onto them by Chef.

"I got this!" Sam shouted, and he started running up the scaffolding. He made video game music with his voice as he did so. "You can do it, Sam!" Dakota called from the sidelines, accidentally spilling the drink she was pouring for Chris.

"Perhaps an adventurer could be of assistance," Scarlett said, as she placed the fedora she had found on Mike's head. Mike's eyes widened, and he took a deep breath. Then his hair slicked back under the hat, and he smirked. "G'day, mates! Name's Manitoba Smith."

"We know," Scarlett answered. "Currently, we are in a challenge, attempting to get past Chef and untie Justin."

"Don't worry your pretty little head, Sheila," Manitoba responded. "Us menfolk," he pulled Scott in from the right and Ezekiel from the left, "will handle it so you don't have to worry about breaking a nail." Scarlett glared at him, and he dashed off, jumping from beam to beam until he had almost reached Chef. However, he ended up taking a barrel to the head, and crashed down to the ground, out cold.

Sam reached the top of the scaffolding, exhausted. "Need power-up," he panted, and was knocked off the scaffolding by a barrel. He landed on Tyler.

Ella tried dancing her way up the scaffolding. She sang as she went:

 _"I'm dancing up the scaffold, to rescue..."_ she was cut off by a barrel knocking her off the platform. Beardo jumped over two more barrels with video game sound effects, but an open one landed on his head, blinding him. He ran off the edge of the platform, and landed on the ground.

"Sam had the right idea," Scott mused. "Rodney, do you think you could do what he did?"

"No problem," Rodney said, with a determined expression.

"Good. DJ, Courtney, Topher, Zeke, and I will try to draw his fire."

"What do we do now?" Beth asked, as Rodney began making his way up.

"Simple. B and Dawn follow Rodney, and when Rodney is distracting Chef, Dawn can untie Justin while B keeps anyone from stopping her," Heather answered. B saluted, picked up Dawn, placed her on his shoulder, and ran after Rodney.

"Good thinking," Jasmine complimented.

"Yes, it is just _e-vil_ enough to work," Max agreed.

"Of course," Heather answered smugly.

Rodney reached the top of the scaffolding while his teammates distracted Chef, and tackled the big man. However, Chef proved hard to budge. He held his ground until B slammed into Rodney's back, knocking the two off the scaffolding.

Dawn quickly untied Justin. "The Gophers win!" Chris announced. "Bass, I will see you at elimination."

Mike got up, asking, "Did we win?" Scarlett helped him up and filled him in.

Topher approached the two and said, "I think something is up with Rodney. We should vote him out tonight. Haven't you noticed how he acts around girls?"

Mike said, "Yeah. He's a wreck around girls."

Topher continued, "I talked to him, and it turns out he's completely delusional about love. We should get rid of him before he causes the ratings to tank."

Mike replied, "I don't know. We haven't really been doing so well in challenges lately, and Rodney is stronger than everyone else on our team except for DJ."

Scarlett answered, "But he's clumsy, he lacks intelligence, and he is allied with Scott. I shall aid you in getting him voted out."

Mike frowned. "Okay..."

* * *

At the elimination ceremony, Chris held a plate of marshmallows. "I have on my plate ten marshmallows. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never come back. Ever. If I call your name, you are safe. Scott. Ezekiel. Tyler. Scarlett. Courtney. Mike. Topher. And, with one vote against him, Sam." He threw marshmallows to the campers as he called their names. Sam looked alarmed that he had received a vote, but he caught his marshmallow anyway.

"Lindsay, Rodney, this is the final marshmallows of the night. The last person who is safe is..."

" _Lindsay."_

Rodney got up and sighed. "I deserve this. I couldn't save Justin, and I couldn't decide on matters of my fickle heart. Not even Scott could help me."

"Yeah, I'd say you're beyond help," Chris told him. Rodney dejectedly boarded the Boat of Losers, and it sped away. Chris turned back to the others.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

* * *

The scene cut to Chef working on something in the Arts and Crafts tent. When he was done, he held up his project: a recreation of the army princess dress in a much larger size. He shed a tear at the sight of the completed monstrosity. "It's beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: Topher wanted Rodney gone because of his delusions about love. Scarlett wanted him gone because of his connection to Scott. Between the two of them, he never stood a chance.
> 
> Thoughts on Rodney? I don't like him at all, and while he's not impossible to develop, I don't think I'm really the right person to try to develop him. I gave him a strong connection on his team, and I had both him and other campers acknowledge that he has a problem, so I already did more than canon for him.
> 
> So...I altered the challenge, for multiple reasons. First, as the fashion pre-challenge never actually gave the Maggots any reward in canon, I made it for the immunity of one team. Izzy's elimination gave sufficient reason to remove the Moose from the challenge, so it worked well. Second, I substituted Sasquatchanakwa for Chef, because Dawn and/or Ella would have been able to win the challenge for their team easily otherwise. Did the changes work?
> 
> And if you couldn't tell, yes, Rodney was the one vote against Sam.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy


	11. If You Can't Take The Heat...

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Leonard, Max, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened in the Moose cabin. Lightning woke, jumped up, and shouted, "It's Lightning time!" He tried to run out of the cabin door, but tripped over something on the floor. "Sha-what?" he asked, and picked up a pair of underwear. He glared at it, and then at Harold, and demanded, "What's the big idea, dude?"

Harold looked at the underwear, and said, "Those aren't mine."

Noah drowsily picked up a pair from the floor, and said, "Yes, I'm sure one of us had _your_ name sewn onto our underwear just to make it look like it wasn't us who left our dirty underwear all over the place."

Cody agreed, "Come on dude, just clean this stuff up."

Harold stood up and grabbed a towel. "Whatever. I'm going for a shower."

Aiden started picking up Harold's underwear. Cody asked, "What are you doing?"

Aiden looked at Cody, and said, "Teaching him a lesson." He then proceeded to take Harold's underwear outside the cabin.

* * *

A bit later, Chris was presenting the challenge to the campers. "Today's challenge will test your minds, your minds, your teamwork, and your skill in the kitchen. You'll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward, and last place sends somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and oversee the cooking. To cook, you need ingredients." He indicated a truck that somehow drove onto the island out of the water. "Every morning, a truck brings us food. Today's task starts there." A dolphin wearing a delivery uniform poked its head out the window of the truck and waved at the camera.

"How's it doing that?" Scott asked. B walked over to the dolphin and pulled its "head" off, revealing it was just a driver in a costume. "Oh. That makes sense."

Justin asked, "As the winning team of last challenge, don't we get an advantage?"

Chris replied, "You didn't have to participate in a painful second challenge. I'd say that's reward enough for winning."

Once the truck was parked, the campers all examined what they had to work with. Jo shouted, "I'm head chef! Deal with it! Now, do any of you maggots know how to cook?"

Eva objected, "Why do get to be head chef?"

Jo responded, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think you might want to be head chef after you bailed in the Phobia Factor challenge! Now, who can cook?" It took the combined strength of Owen, Shawn, and Leshawna to prevent Eva from attacking Jo.

Lightning volunteered, "I can make the best spaghetti sauce you've ever eaten!"

Jo asked, "Can you even spell 'spaghetti?'"

Lightning, angry, shouted, "So I'm dys-something or other! Work with me here, dude!"

Harold asked, "Dyslexic?" Lightning said, "Yeah, that!"

Cameron offered, "If we're doing an Italian theme, I am familiar with the process of making a gourmet-level antipasto."

Shawn offered, "I can make Italian Crème Cake. I worked in a bakery for a few years to raise money for apocalypse gear, and I picked up a few things about cooking."

Jo smiled. "Okay. We'll do that. Let's go, people!" The three pointed out things that they would need to their teammates, and then ran to the kitchen to get started.

Geoff, observing this development, said, "Aww. I thought we could do a killer Italian theme, but they beat us to it."

Sky thought for a moment, and suggested, "How about a French theme? I think we could make that work."

"Then you should be head chef," Alejandro stated.

Courtney said, "Because our team leader's cooking experience probably amounts to frying whatever vermin he finds in the kitchen, I'm electing myself head chef."

"I mean, you're not wrong," Scott responded.

Courtney then asked, "Which of you have cooking experience other than microwaving frozen pizzas?"

DJ said, "My mama owns a Cajun restaurant, and she taught me how to cook. I could make a delicious main course."

Scarlett said, "Baking a dessert is simple chemistry. I can handle that."

Courtney nodded her head. "Okay. DJ, roast duck. Scarlett, cinnamon rolls. Sam do you think you can make seafood gumbo?"

Sam nodded. "I'm not the most experienced cook ever, but I can follow instructions. If you can provide a recipe, I can complete the objective."

Heather said, "Head chef! Called it!"

Max objected to this. "Only someone as _e-vil_ as me is worthy of being head chef!"

"Do you even have a theme?" Heather asked.

Max replied, "Not only do I have a theme, but I have a plan for the entire meal! Applesauce for the first course, dinosaur nuggets for the second, and for dessert, a pancake in the shape of a skull! For extra _e-vil,_ of course."

Heather looked at the rest of the team. "We're doing a Hawaiian theme."

* * *

The teams were busy grabbing everything they needed. Ezekiel asked Scott, "Are yoo okay with not bein' in charge today?"

Scott smiled. "I actually like not being in charge. I do get put in charge a lot back home because I'm the smartest member of my family, so I am good at being a leader. But I don't like having that kind of pressure on me. I'd honestly rather take orders than give them."

Ezekiel seemed a bit surprised by this. "Yoo're so good at bein' in charge, I thought yoo liked it."

Scott just shrugged. "I don't. I'd let someone else lead if anyone else on the team could lead as well as me."

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Okay, what I told Ezekiel was true. But I also have another reason for being glad I'm not in charge. It's possible Rodney received a majority vote without interference, but just in case, I need to strategize potential ways for potentially getting an enemy eliminated."

**End confessional**

* * *

A slight ways away, Cody had decided to try to flirt with Dawn. He walked up to her and opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "I can see from your aura that you are not genuinely interested, and that you are more attracted to the idea of having a girlfriend than you are towards me or any other girl here. And even if that was not the case, I see nothing in your aura to suggest that we would be a good match." Cody sighed.

* * *

**Confessional: Cody**

"She could have just said no."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the Badgers' kitchen, Katie and Sadie were putting together the appetizer. It was fairly simple, a plate of cheese and meat samples, grapes and strawberries, and bread rolls. As they worked, they talked about boys. Katie asked Sadie, "So, which guy do you think is the hottest? And, like, you can't pick Justin or Alejandro, 'cause they're obvious."

Sadie thought for a moment. "Hmm. Good question. I don't know. Trent is pretty hot. So's DJ."

Katie responded, "Yeah, DJ is kinda hot. He's got big muscles, anyway. And I guess Topher's pretty hot..."

Sierra, who overheard, cut her off. "Don't talk about him. He's pretty much the worst."

Sadie asked, "Why are you still so mad at him, anyway?"

Sierra's expression grew even more sour. "I'll tell you."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lindsay was busy collecting ingredients. "Toby," she asked, "What happened between you and Sienna? Why do you fight so much?"

Topher's face grew thunderous. "I'll tell you that story, just so you know what kind of person Sierra is."

* * *

"He's just so...self-absorbed! Everything has to be about him!" Sierra ranted to the clones.

* * *

"She's so codependent! I mean, I know we were dating, but would it have killed her to sometimes make her own decisions?" Topher raged.

* * *

"And he acts like such a jerk to get people to like him! Is he so insecure that he needs to be a total jerk to everyone around him just to try to be popular?"

* * *

"And for someone who acts like such a satellite, she never really supported me, did she? My dreams were always 'stupid,' or I was always 'trying too hard.'"

* * *

The shot finally cut to show the two on a split screen, saying as one, "And he/she never listened to me!"

* * *

"Seriously, it seemed like he thought his opinion was the only one that mattered," Sierra finished.

* * *

"For as much as she made it her job to know about me, she never seemed to value what I thought," Topher finished.

* * *

**Confessional: Lindsay**

"Wow, Toby and Sienna are really mad at each other. I hope I never end up like that."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the Moose kitchen, Shawn was putting the finishing touches on his cake. "Well, it looks like that year-and-a-half I worked in that bakery is paying off. Chris will love this."

Over at the spaghetti station, Owen reached for the bowl of boiled noodles, only for Jo to violently bring down the wooden spoon on his knuckles. "Ow!" Owen shouted, clutching the injured hand.

"No sampling!" Jo shouted. "Hey, Lightbulb, how's the sauce coming?"

"It's coming along real nice," Lightning responded. He inhaled deeply. "Smell that? Mmm-mmm. Sha-licious!"

Harold then burst through the door, with a jar of olives. Jo grabbed them, and shouted, "These are black olives, Split-screen! Go back and get green olives!" She then turned to Noah. "Forehead! Quit standing around! Go get some cheese for the pasta!"

Noah frowned and looked at Owen. "Is my forehead really that big?"

Owen looked at Noah thoughtfully. "Yeah, it kinda is."

Jo scowled, but then smiled deviously. "Hey, Butterball, if you're hungry, why don't you go chow down on the ingredients back at the truck?"

Owen smiled like if Jo had told him Christmas was coming early. "You mean it?"

Jo grinned. "Sure. Once Split-screen and Forehead grab those olives, we'll have everything we need. No point in leaving the rest of it for the other teams."

Owen ran out the door, ecstatic. "Not very sportsmanlike," Leshawna commented.

"Sportsmanship is for losers," Jo replied.

* * *

**Confessional: Leshawna**

"I'm thinkin' that white girl's attitude is gonna be a problem. She may wear sweats, but she's got the attitude of a spoiled, rich daddy's girl."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Bass were working in the kitchen. DJ put spice on the duck. "Mama Spice. Never leave home without it."

Mike looked at the vegetables on the side. He then dumped a small bottle of capsaicin onto the vegetables. As he did so, he whistled a creepy tune.

DJ looked at him. "Hmm?"

Mike hid the bottle in his hand. "Did I say something?"

DJ shrugged. "Mike" discretely threw away the bottle.

Mike then took a deep breath. He looked confused for a moment, but shrugged it off.

* * *

In the Gophers' kitchen, Heather was having a hard time. "Jasmine! Put more seasoning on the ribs! Not too much, just a bit more! Beth! I need those pineapple slices to be even! Ella!"

Ella said, "Oh, this flambé is coming along excellently! There is no need for you to worry."

Heather sighed. "Good." She turned to the others to badger them a bit more, but was cut off by Dawn. "Heather, we can see that you feel stressed. You need to relax. Micromanaging every aspect of the challenge will not help. You must trust that we know what we're doing, and that we are wise enough to ask for help if not."

Heather sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I'm not an idiot. I saw how my teammates shunned Amy. I know I have to play nice, or I'll be next. But it's not always easy."

**End confessional**

* * *

Ella asked Max, "Would you like to help?"

Max walked over to help his friend. "So, what even is this dessert?"

Ella thought for a moment. "I am not entirely sure myself. But Heather said it's popular in Hawaii."

Max sighed. "Ah, yes. The land of volcanoes. I've always wanted to visit."

Ella nodded. "I think it would be lovely. Perhaps if you or I win, we could visit together."

Max looked thoughtful. "Perhaps."

Over at the appetizer station, Beth asked Duncan, "What was juvie like?"

Duncan answered, "Honestly, it was pretty awful. Cramped cells, food worse than Chef's, and most of the people were pretty terrible too. Even with all that, though, it might not have been so bad if it wasn't for Mal. Now that guy, he was a total sadist. He barely acknowledged my existence, and I liked it that way. He put a lot of guys in the hospital, even big, tough guys. I did have to bend over backwards for his cronies and yes-men, though, when they decided to acknowledge my existence. Everyone was terrified of him."

Beth didn't really know how to respond. "Oh."

"I talked to a girl at the parole office, and apparently the girls' section had their own Mal. Some crazy smart redhead who would torture her fellow inmates for fun. We swapped stories, and this girl sounded even worse than Mal somehow."

Beth looked spooked. "Well, I hope I never meet either of them."

Duncan laughed. "They're both total psychos. They're probably still in there. Not much chance you'll ever meet either of them."

* * *

Back at the Badgers' kitchen, Alejandro was putting the finishing touches on the main course. "The Navarin D'Agneau appears quite delicious. An excellent suggestion that we make French food, Sky."

Sky smiled. "Thanks."

Justin commented, "That white wine was a good find. I'm surprised they even gave that to us."

Alejandro agreed, "Yes, I found it curious as well. I suppose we should serve the rest with the meal."

Trent pulled a tart out of the oven. "I think we're good to go."

* * *

At the tasting, Chris was sitting down, ready to try the meals. The Badgers delivered their appetizer first.

"A cheese plate. Simple, but definitely French," Chris commented. He tasted a couple of the cheeses. "Needs red wine to go with it, not white. But still, I'm liking it. Didn't even realize these cheeses were in the shipment."

Dakota, who was standing behind him, said, "You had me order the ingredients. I went for variety."

Chris nodded. "Well, good choices. Six points."

Next to bring out their appetizer was the Bass team. Sam placed a bowl of gumbo in front of the host.

Chris took a bite. "Ah, nice and spicy. Eight points."

Next were the Moose. Cody gave Chris the antipasto. Chris tasted it. "Your antipasto passed the test-o! Seven points."

Finally came the Gophers. Chris tried a pineapple skewer. "Kinda simple, don't you think? I'll give it a six."

Next was the main course. The Badgers brought out their Navarin D'Agneau. Chris looked at it, and tasted it. He then said, "Gotta be honest, guys. Not really feeling the Navarin D'Agneau without a good Pinot Noir to go with it. Seven points."

Gwen responded, "But Dakota didn't order that, just the white wine. How would we be able to provide Pinot Noir?"

Chef then entered the dining room, upset. "You let these kids use my white wine for cookin'? That wine was for me!"

Chris shrugged. "Sorry, dude. I never said they couldn't use it, and we ordered it from the same company as the other ingredients."

Chef scowled, grabbed the half-full bottle, and stormed off.

Chris shrugged. "Well, that happened. Bass, show me what you got."

DJ served his roast duck. Chris took a bite, his eyes widened, and he said, "Ten points, right here. I'm having a hard time believing anything could top this."

"Well, you ain't tried the Lightning special," Lightning said, as he served Chris a large bowl of spaghetti, with meatballs and sauce. Chris tried it, and said, "You weren't kidding. This is terrific. Nine points!"

Jo looked at Lightning. "I didn't think you could do it."

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Sha-duh! Of course the Lightning can make great pasta! Ain't you ever heard of carbo-loading? Pasta is great for that! Besides, it's Pops's favorite food!"

**End confessional**

* * *

The Gophers went last, with a platter of ribs. Chris tasted one. "A little dry, but still good. I'll give it an eight. That puts the Bass ahead with eighteen points, the Moose with sixteen, the Gophers with fourteen, and the Badgers with thirteen."

Trent brought out the fig tart, and Chris had a bite. "Pretty good, but a bit unevenly cooked. I'll give it a seven."

Next were the cinnamon rolls. "Cinnamon rolls. Not particularly exciting, honestly. I'll give it a six, because they're not bad, just a bit undercooked."

Shawn brought out the cake, and Chris tried it. "Ah, that is good cake, right there. Good work, Shawn. Nine points."

"Wait, does that mean we win?" Shawn asked.

Chris thought for a moment. "Does it?"

Cameron quickly did the math. "Yes, that puts the Moose at twenty-five points, the Bass at twenty-four, and the Badgers at twenty-one. And even if they get all ten points for their dessert, the Gophers are unable to exceed a score of twenty-four at this point, meaning we win."

"Sha-Yeah!" Lightning exclaimed, and proceeded to high-five all of his teammates.

"Speaking of our dessert, where is it?" Heather asked.

"Right here! And looking very tasty, might I add," said Ella, as she brought in the dessert.

Heather asked, "Why haven't you lit it?"

Max asked, "It needs to be set ablaze? How diabolical! Let me do the honors." He grabbed a blowtorch, and set the dessert on fire. It exploded, leaving nothing but ash on the plate. "Maybe I used too much starter. Oopsie." Heather glared at him.

Chris tried a bite of the ash anyway, and choked. When he recovered, he asked, "Were you trying to kill me? Zero points! You lose!" He then regained his composure. "As a reward for winning, we were going to give the Moose team a five-star dinner under the stars. Unfortunately, someone ate most of the ingredients."

Eva and Leshawna glared at Jo. Jo asked, "How was I supposed to know the ingredients were also for the reward?"

"Oh, so we're just supposed to accept that you cost us our reward?" Eva demanded.

Noah cut the argument off. "Stop! Stop! Whenever we aren't doing challenges, you fight like a Democrat and a Republican, neither of whom are particularly knowledgeable about politics! If your fighting manages to spread to the actual challenges, it will definitely cost us." Jo and Eva, seeing the truth of the statement, said nothing.

Chris cleared his throat to catch the campers' attention. "Instead, you guys get the meals for your dinner. I would not recommend the flambé."

* * *

At the Moose team's dinner, Harold asked his teammates, "Hey, somebody took my underwear and I couldn't find it."

The other boys, minus Shawn, looked at Aiden. Aiden huffed, and said "I hid them behind the septic tank. Next pair of dirty underwear I see in the floor goes _in_ the septic tank."

He then took a bite of the vegetables served with the duck. Instantly his eyes popped, his face turned red, and he ran into the kitchen in search of milk. Jo laughed wildly at his misfortune.

* * *

At the campfire ceremony, Chris said, "Well, that was exciting, for a challenge that doesn't involve athleticism. I have on my plate..." He saw Chef, wearing the recreated military/princess dress. "What...are you wearing?"

Chef folded his arms. "I'm gonna wear this at every Gopher elimination 'til soldier boy and princess girl are eliminated."

Duncan cringed. "Dude, that's the gayest thing I've ever seen, hands down. Yeesh."

Chef turned his nose up. "You just don't appreciate true greatness."

Chris, looking a bit disturbed, decided to continue. "Anyway...I have on my plate ten marshmallows. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never come back. Ever. If I call your name, you are safe. Jasmine! Beardo! Beth! Samey! B! Ella! Brick! Duncan! Dawn!" He tossed each of the nine campers their marshmallows from the plate Dakota was holding.

"Heather, you're on the chopping block for choosing to serve flambé, and Max, you're on the chopping block for messing it up. The final marshmallow goes to..."

" _Heather_."

Max gasped. "What? How dare you all vote me out? You all will pay when I take over the world! Well, except for Ella, but the rest of you will _pay!_ "

"Yeah, that's fantastic," Chris said sarcastically. "Chef, take him away."

Chef picked up Max, and began to walk towards the Boat of Losers. Suddenly, Max pulled what looked to have once been a hairdryer from his jacket, pointed it at Chris, and shouted, "Revenge!"

Chris panicked, and asked, "Is that..."

"Yes! It's my _hair recolorizer!"_ He fired a beam at Chris, who yelped and pulled Dakota in front of himself as a human shield. Chef then grabbed the recolorizer out of Max's hand, dropped it, and crushed it with his foot.

Chef then sailed away with Max, who shouted, "I shall have my revenge!"

Dakota held her hands to her blond hair, seemingly about to have a panic attack.

* * *

**Confessional: Ella**

"Even though I know Max cost us the challenge, I feel bad for voting for him. I didn't much like Amy, and I didn't know Leonard that well, but Max is my friend. Now I feel awful."

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Max has been an absolute joy to write, but all good things must come to an end. He's a weak player, and he couldn't realistically last any longer.
> 
> Thoughts on Max? He's absolutely hilarious, but also absolutely one-note. I am not surprised that he's often eliminated early in fanfics. I gave him an MVP moment and a friend, which is more than canon did for him, so I feel good about how I handled him. And if the reviews are anything to go by, you all thought he was hilarious as well.
> 
> I also did think he and Scarlett were a great comedic duo in canon, but I also felt he held her back from her full potential. I decided to have him play off of Ella instead, and I think it actually works well, though I did feel I could have done better interactions between the two if I didn't have so many characters to focus on. I actually kind of want someone to make a sitcom starring the two of them now. I'm a bit busy with this story, so anyone who wants to use that idea, feel free.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe


	12. Operation Charlie Tango Foxtrot

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Jo, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened the morning after Max's elimination. Sam was walking out of the washrooms when he heard sobbing coming from behind the building. He walked around to the back of the building to see Dakota with green hair, crying. He asked her, "What's wrong?"

Dakota responded, "That little troll Max turned my hair green!"

Sam, unsure of what to say, ventured, "That's…terrible?"

Dakota sighed. "You don't understand."

Sam said, "No, I don't. I've never really thought looks were that important."

Dakota sighed again. "I'm kinda jealous of you. My mother, you might have heard of her? Carolina Northwest?"

Sam frowned. "The fashion designer?"

"She always taught me that looks were the most important thing ever. If I didn't look good, I was a bad daughter and I was bringing shame to the family."

Sam, horrified, exclaimed, "That's terrible!"

Dakota nodded. "That's what Daddy thought. He divorced her a few years ago when he found out, and the judge gave him full custody of me with no visitation. My mother tried to overturn the decision a few times, but never succeeded." She looked down, and said, "Still, my looks have always been an important part of my life. I'm scared. What if people really do stop liking me?"

Sam placed his hand on her shoulder. "Look, your mother, if I can even call her that, isn't part of your life anymore. You don't need to let her keep affecting you. And don't worry about people not liking you anymore. Hehe, I mean, I have lots of friends, and I'm one of the ugliest people on this island."

Dakota sighed. "But you're a nice person. Even if you're not attractive, you're a sweet, fun guy that people like to be around. People like you for who you are, and you know that. People like me because I'm rich and hot. I just...I know that doesn't mean anything, but even that being taken away from me...it scares me."

Sam frowned. "Dakota, you don't need to be rich and hot for people to like you. You are a nice person, and even if you weren't rich and hot, that wouldn't change. And if your old friends don't see that, you should get new ones who do."

Dakota smiled slightly. "Thanks, Sam. I needed to hear that."

"No problem," said Sam. "And if we're being honest, I kinda like the green hair."

Dakota chuckled. "You don't mean that."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I do! It kinda makes you look like Lady Palutena from the Kid Icarus games."

Dakota frowned. "I don't play video games, so I don't know who that is."

Sam fake-gasped. "You don't play video games? Well, we definitely need to do something about that." He looked around to make sure no one was watching, reached into his pocket, and handed her a handheld gaming device. "Here. You need it more than I do." He then handed her a few cartridges. "These are a few good entry-level games. You're not quite ready for the hardcore stuff yet."

Dakota smiled and took the gaming device. "I'll try them out when I get some free time."

* * *

A little later, Chris had assembled the teams for their challenge. "Attention, campers! Today's challenge will test your survival skills to the limit! Prepare yourselves for the game that will crush the weak, that will reduce the seemingly tough to a wreck...laser tag!"

Sam pumped his fist. "Yes! I love laser tag!"

Chris continued, "The objective is to defend your flag, and be the first to reach the enemy flag."

Cody interjected, "Tower defense mode! Even better!" He and Sam exchanged fist-bumps.

Chris scowled. "Yeah, we get it. You guys are gamer nerds. Can I continue?"

Cody said, "Go ahead."

"You will be required to wear these special vests," the host continued, as Chef and the interns brought out a large number of vests with green lights in the center of the front. "If you get hit, you're out. Your blaster will deactivate, and you will receive a painful shock. The challenge ends when someone reaches the flag, or when one team is completely eliminated from the challenge. Oh, and by the way, those blasters have a slow rate of fire. But you do only have to land one shot to get someone out."

* * *

The Gophers' flag was near the mountain, surrounded by rocks, both real and fake. Jasmine said, "Brick, Sammy, Beth, Ella, and Beardo, you stay here and defend the flag. I'll take B, Dawn, Duncan, and Heather to attack the enemy bases."

Brick frowned. "I wanted to be on the strike team."

Jasmine said, "You and I are best suited to lead the teams for this challenge, and my survival skills are better suited to leading the strike team. You're best suited to defend the base."

Brick nodded and saluted. "Okay. I won't let the enemy reach the flag." The two groups then parted ways.

* * *

The Bass team's flag was near the stream. Scarlett, who was holding the fedora from the fashion challenge, suggested, "I should lead the attack team. I will take Mike, Topher, Lindsay, and Tyler."

Scott shrugged. "Fine with me."

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I wanted to be in a group with Courtney and DJ anyway. With Rodney gone, I need to work on making new alliances."

**End confessional**

* * *

After Scarlett's group departed, Scott turned to try to talk to DJ. However, Sam tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, Scott, I was thinking, if we put me in one of these trees, I could take out attackers without them seeing me."

Scott thought for a moment. "That's a pretty good idea. You've been holding out on me."

Sam smirked. "I'm a gamer. Finding a concealed location to shoot from is an important skill for PvP games. An ambush is harder to react to than a straightforward attack."

Scott nodded. "Can you shoot?"

Sam grinned self-assuredly. "Can _I_ shoot? Mister, you're looking at the Surrey laser tag champion, three years running! Heck yeah, I can shoot!"

Scott grinned maliciously. "They won't know what hit 'em! DJ, come help me get Sam into one of these trees!"

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"No, I'm not considering allying with Sam. Yet. But I am beginning to think he might be worth keeping around, until we have no choice but to get rid of him."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badgers' flag had been set up by the lake. Sky looked at it critically. "Okay, upside, they can't attack from that direction. Downside, we're short on cover. All we have are a few fake rocks, and that won't be enough to protect us from enemy fire."

Alejandro suggested, "Then we will have to set up our own. Geoff, can you lend your strength to assist me with this undertaking?"

Geoff replied, "Sure, bro. Let's get right on it."

Sky said, "Okay, you two defend the base, along with...Katie, Sadie, and Bridgette. The rest of us will be on the attack."

Justin asked, "Hey, can I be on defense too? I don't really feel like trudging through the woods."

This seemed to annoy Gwen, who said, "No, you can't, unless you want to help work on the defenses."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll attack. What are we waiting for?"

* * *

**Confessional: Justin**

"Hmm. Gwen is somewhat well-liked by our team yet probably not enough to make me a target for getting rid of her, she has a clear ally, and she's not attracted to me, or at least not enough for me to manipulate her. After this challenge, perhaps I should talk to Alejandro about getting her out."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Moose flag had been set up in the woods with no truly distinguishable landmarks. "It's awesome," Harold commented about the setup. "The other teams might not even be able to find us!"

"Glad you like it, Split-screen," Jo commented. "Now, I'm taking Eva, Shawn of the Dead, Lightbulb, Stage Fright, and Butterball to go after the flags. The rest of you, defend our flag." She began to walk away, and when the others that she named hesitated, she called, "You coming, maggots? Or do I have to do everything myself?" The five campers she named began to follow her.

"Jo isn't very nice, is she?" Owen whispered to Lightning.

"Well, bein' nice ain't really the point of the game," Lightning said. "Joe might be rude, but he gets stuff done. What do you think, Angry Girl?" he asked Eva.

Eva scowled. "Jo creases me, but so do most people. Honestly, Noah and Cameron are the only people on this team that I don't find annoying at all. But Jo specifically? She's supremely bossy, but she does have actual skills. I'm not sure if it's worth the tradeoff to keep her."

Lightning shrugged. "It's called a winning attitude."

* * *

Some minutes later, the Moose attack team reached the general area of the Bass flag. Shawn said, "Okay, so I see four people guarding the flag. I'll scout the area a bit more thoroughly, and then we can make a plan—"

"Or," Jo cut him off, "We charge in and take it by force. There are six of us and only four of them."

"But—" Shawn tried to say something, but Jo wasn't listening. She, and the other four strike team members, were already charging. Shawn groaned and followed.

Both sides exchanged laser blasts. And to their credit, both sides did do an excellent job of avoiding the shots. However, Owen was hit early by several shots, DJ was taken out by a well-placed shot from Shawn, and a shot from Ezekiel managed to hit Aiden. Upon seeing the quiet teen convulse in pain, Ezekiel shouted, "I got 'im!"

The four remaining Moose attackers all hid behind Owen. "Okay, so they're good shots," Jo conceded. "But we can still get them. We'll use Butterball as a shield to get close, and then hit them hard!"

Owen said, "Guys? I don't know if I like that plan."

"Oh, shut up," Jo commanded. "They already got you out. It's not like they can shock you again."

The three remaining defenders hid behind the beaver dam, in case the attackers tried to shoot at them. "Wait for it..." Scott said to Courtney and Ezekiel, as the attackers got closer.

Suddenly, a laser came from the trees and hit Eva. "They have a sniper!" Shawn shouted. He ran, with Jo and Lightning following. Seeing their teammates break and run, Owen, Eva, and Aiden started running as well.

Scott, Courtney, and Ezekiel raised their blasters and fired, but none of their shots connected. By the time they were able to try again, the attackers had escaped.

"Well, they won't be back," Scott commented. "Looks like Sam's idea was a winner."

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Believe it or not, one of the biggest dangers in a zombie apocalypse is actually other survivors. There's the risk of them raiding your base, killing you-or worse-and stealing all of your supplies. And there's the chance that you'll get desperate enough to have to do so yourself. Rule one of raids: scout thoroughly! Now we have to head back and hope that with a strong defense, we can outlast the enemy."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Bass attackers were walking through the woods. Scarlett asked the four, "So we are all in agreement on who to vote for when we next lose?" Upon hearing the other four agree, she said, "Good. Now to the task at hand." Scarlett placed the fedora on Mike's head. He gasped, his hair slicked back, and he became Manitoba Smith. However, he had a troubled look on his face.

"Mr. Smith?" Scarlett said. "We are in the midst of a war exercise, and I assumed your survivalist expertise would be invaluable."

"Yeah?" he replied tersely. "Sorry, Sheila, I'm not feeling quite right. All of my instincts are screaming that something bloody awful is coming."

"Be that as it may," Scarlett said to the adventurer personality, "We should concentrate on the task at hand."

What they didn't see was the Badger attack team sneaking up on them. Sierra caught sight of them first. "It's Topher and some of the other Bass," she whispered. "We should do a surprise attack, so they can't attack our flag."

The Badgers suddenly sprang out of the bushes and took out all of the Bass attackers, starting with Scarlett and Manitoba. However, Lindsay did manage to hit Trent before being taken out.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"I don't know if it's the curse, but I've been having really bad luck lately."

**End confessional**

* * *

The five remaining Badger attackers kept moving. Zoey hesitantly approached Gwen. "Hey, Gwen, we're friends, right?"

Gwen shrugged. "Sure. I'd say we are." When gwen was no longer looking, Zoey pumped her fist.

* * *

**Confessional: Zoey**

"Yes! I don't really have many friends back home. Or any at all. Everyone says I'm too 'desperate,' and then they avoid me after that."

**End confessional**

* * *

Shortly after, they happened upon the Moose attackers. None of them could see that Owen, Eva, and Aiden were out, so they all assumed all six members of the attack team were still in. Justin stepped on a stick, and they all swiveled around. "Who's there?" Jo called.

Sky thought quickly. "I'll draw them off. You guys head to one of the flags." She then dashed out and shot Jo, before quickly retreating.

Lightning saw who it was quickly. "It's Gymnast Girl! I'll get her!" He ran after her, dodging a shot from her. He shot, but missed, and then the two rushed away.

Shawn groaned. "Well, I'm heading back to base. He can find his own way."

* * *

At the Badger base, the Badger defenders had set up a makeshift barricade out of dead bushes, rocks, and assorted junk from the boathouse. "Nice work," Geoff said. "This defense is looking pretty sweet."

"Indeed," Alejandro agreed. "We should be quite well-defended here."

A thought occurred to Geoff. "Wouldn't it be funny if we set all this up, and no one attacked us?"

* * *

At the Gopher base, the Badger attack team was planning their attack. "There are five of them and only four of us," Gwen pointed out. "That's going to make this a lot harder."

"We can do it," Sierra contradicted her. "As long as we're stealthy and strike first."

Using the trees to hide their approach, the attack team got as close as possible. They then dashed out, and a shot from Gwen hit Brick. However, the Gophers were prepared, and they all fired back. Zoey, Sierra, and Gwen were all taken out. However, Sierra did manage to hit Ella first. As the battle took place, Beardo imitated the sounds of a laser battle from a science fiction movie.

Justin, seeing that he was the only one left, thought quickly. When Beth and Beardo aimed their blasters at him, he pulled up his shirt, revealing his abs. The two of them hesitated.

"You don't want to blast me," Justin said.

"We don't want to blast you," the two of them repeated in monotone voices.

"You want to let me take the flag," he continued.

"We want to let you take the flag."

Justin grinned, and stepped forwards to take the flag. However, he was halted by a blast from Sammy.

"Sorry, Justin, but I'm into tall guys," she said.

* * *

**Confessional: Beth**

"I don't know what happened! I wath going to shoot Juthtin, but then, all of a sudden, it wath like he had thome kind of power over me!"

**Confessional: Beardo**

Beardo's confessional consisted of him making hypnosis sound effects, and miming circles with his hands. His eyes then rolled back, and he slouched over dramatically.

**Confessional: Justin**

"Yes, I used hypnosis on them. And it almost worked. I guess Samey is more strong-willed than she looks."

**End confessional**

* * *

Lightning and Sky were still trying to blast each other. Sky kept jumping acrobatically to avoid Lightning's blasts, while Lightning dodged more traditionally by running in zigzags and changing direction irregularly. Eventually they reached the thousand-but-actually-hundred-foot-high cliff. Seeing that there was nowhere left for Sky to run, both athletes took aim and fired, taking each other out.

After recovering from the shock, Sky said to Lightning, impressed, "Those were some nice moves back there."

Lightning nodded. "Sha-yeah, they were! This _is_ the Lightning we're talking about. But you, you had some sweet moves back there too."

"Thanks. I'm actually training to be an Olympian gymnast."

Lightning looked impressed. "Well, that's pretty cool. Bein' in the Olympics means you gotta be like, a total superstar."

Sky nodded. "What about you? What are you training for?"

"I am glad you asked. Look out, world, Lightning's goin' to the Super Bowl, just like Pops!"

"Wow. Then I guess we're both inspired by the athletes in our family. My older sister River was actually in the Olympics for rhythmic gymnastics."

"Sha-dang! What are the odds?"

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Yeah, Sky's pretty cool. Lightning wishes she was on my team. We'd be unstoppable!"

**Confessional: Sky**

"Lightning and I have a lot in common, and it would have been nice if he was on my team. But I'm here to win, not to make friends."

**End confessional**

* * *

As Shawn was making his way back to the Moose flag, he spied the Gopher attackers. He quickly hid, and heard Jasmine say, "Okay, I'll scout ahead, then we can plan our attack." He waited for the Australian to pass him, then he stealthily pursued her. After they left the other four behind, when Jasmine could see the base, he blasted her.

"Oww!" she looked to see where the laser had come from, and she saw Shawn in a tree. He then jumped down from the tree, and ran past her to the flag.

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"Wow, Shawn has some real skills. I didn't even hear him move once!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Jasmine ran back to her teammates. "They've got six people guarding the flag. And one of them got me."

Heather was not pleased. "Great. Now what?"

Dawn spoke up. "Don't give up yet. I sense B has an idea."

* * *

Shawn quickly told his team what happened to the others. "So we're the only ones left. Also, a group of the Gophers is coming. I got Jasmine, but the rest of them should get here soon."

Suddenly, a laser hit Harold. "Ha! Take that, nerd!"

"It's them!" Shawn shouted. Duncan, Heather, and B were firing at the Moose, using the trees as cover. The five remaining defenders hid behind rocks and returned fire, but they were unable to hit any of their attackers.

Unbeknownst to the defenders, they were facing away from where Jasmine and Dawn were. On the ground was a large rock, with a large piece of wood over it acting as a lever. Dawn was standing on one end, and Jasmine was holding a boulder over the other end.

"You sure this will work?" Jasmine asked.

"Of course," Dawn replied. "Launch me."

Jasmine dropped the boulder, sending Dawn flying. She ended up slamming into the top of the flagpole painfully, and she dropped to the ground.

* * *

**Confessional: B**

B smacked his forehead with his hand repeatedly.

**End confessional**

* * *

"And the Gophers win!" Chris's voice came over the intercom. "Moose, I will see you at elimination." All of the defenders' shoulders visibly slumped.

Cody was the first to perk up. He walked over to Heather, and said, "Hey, that was some good shooting. You can take a shot at me any time."

Heather obliged by blasting his vest. Once he recovered from the shock, he said, "I guess that's a no, then?"

* * *

A bit later, Ella was off in the forest, where she encountered Dawn. "Oh, hello, Dawn! I was not expecting to see you here," she said.

"I come out here when I wish to relax and clear my head," Dawn replied. "I feel much more at peace in nature than around others."

"I am surprised B is not with you," Ella commented. "The two of you rarely seem to do things separately."

"B and I complement each other well, but I find peace in nature, and he finds it in technology. He is likely working on a mechanical project right now. But you, your aura tells me that you feel troubled. May I ask what is the matter?"

Ella sighed. "I feel bad about voting out Max. He's my friend, and even though he messed up the challenge, I feel like I betrayed him. Worse, I asked him to help me in the first place, so I feel it was my fault that he was eliminated."

Dawn paused for a moment. "I don't know what to tell you. I could tell by his aura that having a friend who doesn't dismiss him is definitely healthy for Max. And for all his talk of evil, he is too lonely to hold a grudge against you. Feeling that you betrayed him is natural, but that is the nature of a game like Total Drama. There can only be one winner."

Ella thought about it. "May I join you?"

Dawn gestured for Ella to sit across from her. "Certainly."

* * *

At the mess hall, Jo was chewing out Lightning. "Who told you to desert your team to chase down Sky? You messed everything up!" Lightning was too stunned to speak, but Leshawna chimed in, "You're certainly one to talk, white girl. From what Shawn tells me, it's _your_ fault we lost!"

Jo stared at her, shocked, but Leshawna wasn't finished. "I am sick of you acting like you're better than us! You think you're the only one who can lead, but all you done is talk down to all of us, and make things worse! Give me one good reason why we shouldn't vote _you_ out tonight."

Jo sputtered, "You-you can't! It's because of me that we have only lost twice! You need me!"

Leshawna faked thinking hard. "From what I can remember, we got third in the first challenge 'cause of Cameron, won the second one 'cause of Shawn, won the third 'cause of Eva, you weren't even in the talent show, you didn't do much in the camping trip, we got second in the Truth or Scare challenge 'cause B can't talk, Tyler's scared of chickens, and I don't even know what was up with Rodney.

"We would have lost Izzy either way, we would have been out of the fashion challenge either way, and we won the cooking challenge 'cause of Lightning, Shawn, and Cameron. So the way I see it, no, we _don't_ need you."

There was a brief moment of silence, until Harold broke it by saying, "Well, I know who I'm voting for." The Moose then began to leave the table, leaving Jo, who still looked shocked.

* * *

**Confessional: Harold**

"Is it weird that if found it attractive how Leshawna stuck it to Jo like that?"

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris was holding a plate of marshmallows. "Ordinarily, I don't show the votes from the confessional. But because we all know who's going home tonight, let's just see how Jo's attitude came back to bite her in the butt!" Chef carried in a TV screen, and it showed the confessionals.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Let's face it, this vote is just a formality. We all know Jo is going home."

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I vote for Jo. Serves her right for being such a bully."

**Confessional: Cody**

"I'm voting for Jo. Man, I am so glad you don't show these."

**Confessional: Eva**

"I was wondering if keeping Jo around was worth the tradeoff. I've decided that no, it is not."

**Confessional: Harold**

"I vote for Jo! Gosh, that just feels so awesome to say."

**Confessional: Leshawna**

"Girl, I have had it up to _here_ with your attitude. Good. _Bye."_

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Dude, I can't believe I tried to defend Jo! He is sha- _outta_ _here_."

**Confessional: Noah**

"They say pride cometh before a fall, and Jo is nothing if not prideful. Now, let's make that fall happen, shall we?"

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Goodbye, Jo. If this was the best you could do battle strategy-wise, good luck when the zombies come."

**Confessional: Jo**

"Uhh...Lightning?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Jo scowled at her teammates. "I was your strongest player! You'll never win without me!"

Leshawna scowled back. "We'll take our chances."

Jo lunged at her, but was caught by Chef, who dragged her onto the Boat of Losers. The boat then sped away, with Jo screaming obscenities as it did so.

Chris said, "I will not miss her. Anyway, the rest of you are safe. _For tonight_."

* * *

In the middle of the night, a figure snuck out of the boys' side of the Badger cabin, holding an armful of bottles. As he slunk out of the cabin, he whistled a creepy tune. He then went over the communal washrooms and dropped the bottles into the septic tank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reasons for elimination: It should be fairly obvious.
> 
> What do I think of Jo as a character? I'll tell you what I think of Jo. I can't stand her. She's arrogant, unpleasant, a complete bully, and also kind of a loser. Over the course of her entire Total Drama run, she was only responsible for two eliminations. And it's not even like she was that good in challenges either. Literally the only reason she made the merge in ROTI is because of Scott. A lot of people hate Lightning for being "a jerk with an attitude problem," and he is one, but Jo is on a whole different level.
> 
> This is my first original challenge, so what do you think? Was it a good challenge? A poor one? Just kind of average? I would appreciate the feedback. Constructive criticism welcome! I do have a lot challenges planned, but I do still need some ideas, particularly for the four-team phase but also some for the two-team phase. The idea is for the challenges to get more sadistic over time, PM me if you have ideas. Do not leave your challenge suggestions in the reviews, or I will not consider them.
> 
> Did you like the beginning? I was especially proud of that part.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette


	13. Water You Waiting For?

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, LeShawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the campers eating breakfast. Justin and Alejandro bursted through the door.

"All right, who took our hair gel?" Justin demanded.

"Don't look at me," Trent said.

"Wasn't me, bro. I don't even use hair gel," Geoff said.

Justin demanded, "Then who did?"

Aiden offered, "It was probably Izzy. She's still out there, remember?"

Alejandro asked, "Would she really steal from us?"

Aiden looked blankly at him. "You're kidding, right? I know you weren't on our team, but I'm sure you must have noticed how psychotic she is. She should probably be locked up in a padded cell, honestly."

Noah shrugged. "Yeah, she is a complete and total nutjob. And I'm not talking tiny peanuts. That girl is a Brazil nut sized nutjob."

Chris suddenly burst through the mess hall doors. "Gooooood moooooorning campers!" he shouted. "Who's ready for today's challenge?" The campers groaned. "That's the spirit! Everyone, change into your swimsuits and assemble at the dock in twenty minutes!" DJ froze up.

"Excuse me, Chip?" Lindsay raised her hand. "My mom said not to go swimming less than thirty minutes after eating, or I might get sick."

"Yeah, I heard that too!" Owen said.

Justin added, "I can't get sick! It could be bad for my modeling career!"

Chris sighed. "Fine. Assemble at the dock in _thirty_ minutes."

Thirty minutes later, at the dock, the campers looked at what had been set up, seeing a few buoys, a circle in the water, and a box covered by a tarp on the dock, as well as a speedboat and a jet ski. "You might be wondering what all this is for," Chris said. "Well, today's challenge is in three parts. And not all of you will be participating." That caused a stir.

"The first challenge is a four-way chicken fight," he continued.

"CHICKENS?! Where?" Tyler screamed.

"No, Tyler, chicken fights have nothing to do with chickens," Courtney explained. "In a chicken fight, one person sits on another's shoulders, and tries to push a similarly situated person into the water."

"Huh. Then why's it called a chicken fight?" Tyler asked.

"Ahem!" Chris interjected. "The second part is a race, from…a ways offshore, I don't know how many feet 50 meters is."

"Approximately 164.041995 feet," Harold said.

"Thank you, Harold," Chris said flatly.

"I was just trying to be helpful. Gosh!"

Chris continued, "And the third part will be a water-skiing competition. The winners of each individual part will win invincibility for their team, and the team that loses all three parts will send someone home."

* * *

The teams all discussed who should participate in each event. "I should totally do the swim race," Geoff said to his team. "I'm a surfer, so I'm used to swimming, and I have the most upper body strength out of all of us."

Bridgette nodded. "And if he doesn't win, I should water-ski. I'm a surfer too, so I would have an easier time keeping my balance than anyone else."

On the other side of the dock, Eva said to her team, "Leshawna and I should do the chicken fight."

Lightning objected, "Why don't you want the Lightning to be in the chicken fight? I'd sha-do great!"

Eva explained, "You're going to do the swim race on the off-chance we lose. Leshawna and I aren't as fast of swimmers as you."

Lightning considered this. "You got that right."

A bit away from them, Scott said to his team, "Okay, so we'll need our strongest players for the chicken fight. So, you and me, DJ?"

DJ paled. "No, I can't. I'm scared of the water, remember? I can't do this."

Suddenly, Chris said, "Who told you all that you would get to pick your participants? No, only the Gophers will be picking their participants, because they won the last challenge. For the rest of you, it seems fate will decide." He pulled the tarp off the box, revealing the randomizer from the Truth or Scare challenge.

He spun it once, and the faces it showed were those of Eva and Owen. "So, it looks like Eva and Owen will be doing the chicken fight for the Moose. The Bass's players will be…" He spun the slots again. "Courtney, and…Mike!" He spun the slots once more, and announced, "And the Badgers participating will be…Gwen, and…Geoff!"

The Gophers conferred quickly. "We should have me and B participate in this one," Duncan said. "He's stronger than anyone else on our team, and I'm plenty strong myself. Plus, I think this challenge sounds fun."

Chris asked the group, "Who will do this challenge for your team?"

Duncan answered, "B and I will do it!"

* * *

Owen whispered to Eva, "Are you nervous about losing this one?"

Eva shook her head. "Should I be? The Bass and Badger pairs don't seem like much of a threat, and I'm sure we can take whoever the Gophers pick."

Owen looked at B. The silent genius was about the same size as him, but unlike the blond boy, B was extremely muscular. He looked at B's huge arms, then at his own, and said, "I don't know about that."

Eva followed his gaze. "Just focus on keeping your balance. I can get their other player off his shoulders."

* * *

Mike told his team, "I'm going to need to bring out one of my alters for this challenge. I know Vito can be insufferable, but he's my physically strongest alter, so can you put up with him until this is over?"

Courtney shrugged. "How bad can he be?"

Mike took a deep breath. He then removed his swim shirt, he gasped, and his hair slicked back. "Yo, yo, yo! Da Vito is in da house! Time to par-tay!"

Courtney sighed. "I had to ask."

Scarlett decided to intervene. "Excuse me, Vito, we need your help for a challenge. Could you-" She put her hand on his arm, but he jerked away. "Ay, Red! If you wanna touch da Vito, you gotta make an appointment!" He then turned to Courtney and Lindsay and grinned. "You two, though, you can touch me all you want."

Courtney and Lindsay both scowled at him.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"It's for the challenge, it's for the challenge, it's for the challenge..."

**Confessional: Lindsay**

"I can't believe the nerve of that Toto personality! Like, I know I'm pretty, but I'm not easy. I hope Miles doesn't bring him back after this."

 **End** **confessional**

* * *

The chicken fight began with the four pairs in the circle in the water. Owen charged forward toward B and Duncan, hoping his momentum would knock the two down, or at least make it easier for Eva to topple Duncan. However, B charged as well, towards Geoff and Gwen. He knocked the surprised surfer over easily, and Owen frantically tried to stop his charge, barely succeeding. Vito and Courtney tried to take advantage of the opening, but Eva shoved Courtney into the water, and she took Vito down with her.

B and Owen then crashed into each other, and Duncan and Eva tried to topple each other as B tried to knock Owen over. Owen desperately tried to keep his balance. Duncan and Eva shoved each other as hard as they could, trying not to be the first to fall. However, in the end, the delinquent couldn't match his opponent's tremendous strength, and he ended up falling. About a second later, B shoved Owen over, causing both him and Eva to fall into the water.

"And the Moose win, by a hair!" Chris announced. "Now, on to the second part!"

As they climbed out of the water, Vito said to Courtney, "Sorry I couldn't keep you out of da water. Though if you don't mind getting wet—"

Courtney cut him off, giving him a death glare. "If you ever want to have kids, you won't finish that sentence."

Vito gulped. "Got it."

Scott quickly forced Mike's shirt back onto him. "I think we've all had enough of that guy."

Vito gasped and turned back into Mike. "Did we win?"

Ezekiel told him, "Noo, that Eva girl won. She's really strong, eh."

* * *

**Confessional: Ezekiel**

"It was actually seein' Eva fight those dinosoors wot convinced me dad was wrong. I'm just glad I didn't say anything befoor, or she mighta hurt me, eh."

**Confessional: Scott**

"That Vito guy? Well, let's just say it's a good thing he ain't the main personality, or I'd mess him up pretty bad. Well, that's assuming Courtney wouldn't beat me to it."

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris spun the randomizer again for the second challenge. "And for the second challenge, for the Bass, the swimmer will be...Ezekiel! And for the Badgers...Bridgette! Gophers, who will be representing your team? And it can't be Duncan or Beverly, because they already participated."

The Gophers conferred quickly. "We've chosen Jasmine to swim for our team," Heather told the host shortly afterwards.

Chef took the three swimmers offshore in the Boat of Losers. "On your mark, get set, GO!" he shouted, and the three of them dived into the water.

Bridgette took the lead early. Jasmine and Ezekiel were both fast in the water, but it was no contest. Bridgette easily beat them in the race.

Geoff helped Bridgette out of the water. "You were pretty awesome back there," he complimented.

"Thanks," she replied. "I feel like a total klutz when I'm on land, but when I'm in the water, it's like I'm in my element."

Geoff nodded. "I get it. Like, whenever I surf, it's like, I feel super chill, more than anytime else."

Bridgette smiled. "Yeah, I feel...at peace in the water too."

Then they saw Ezekiel climb out of the water, Jasmine having already done so. "That woos embarrassing, eh."

Chris frowned. "Not the most intense second part, but you get what you get. Now, for part three!" He spun the randomizer one last time. "Skiing for the Bass is...Sam!"

Sam smiled. "Cool! I got the high score on the waterskiing minigame on Wii Fit Plus."

The host then turned to the Gophers. "Who will be skiing for your team?"

The Gophers all looked at each other nervously. Beardo made a buzzer noise, indicating that he didn't want to be the one to ski.

Heather said, "I'm with you, Beardo. I don't even know how to waterski."

Ella volunteered, "I'll do it!"

Heather looked at her. "You sure you can do this?"

Ella held her gaze. "Absolutely! I would love to be the skier for our team! I've actually been waterskiing several times."

Heather nodded. "Okay." She then turned to Chris. "Ella will be skiing for our team."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "Ella? Not who I was expecting. But we'll just have to see how she does, then. Sam, you get to go first!"

Beth asked Chris, "Will Chef drive the jet ski?"

"Excellent question, Beth! You get a cookie!" The host tossed her a sugar cookie covered in plastic wrap, which she caught. "No, each team will choose a driver to drive their opponent's jet ski."

Scott stepped forward. "Then I'm it!"

Heather also stepped forward. "Me too!"

Chris smiled. "Perfect."

* * *

Sam stood on the dock, his feet strapped into the skis. He held the tow line in his hands. "So, do I just stand here, or—whoa!" He felt the jet ski pull him off the dock and into the water. It took him a moment to find his balance, but once he did, he skied fairly well. "Hey, it is a lot like the game!" When he raced past the first flag, he grabbed it. "Ten points!"

Heather scowled and pressed the accelerator. She raced even faster past the second buoy. But Sam reacted quickly, and grabbed the second flag. "Combo x2!"

Heather's scowl deepened, and she started swerving left and right. Sam struggled to adjust, but he caught the third flag anyway. However, when he reached the fourth buoy, one of his skis connected with the base, and he lost his balance, barely missing the fourth flag and falling into the water. He did manage to hold onto both the tow line and the three flags he had caught, but Heather sped past the fifth buoy before he could recover.

When he got out of the water, he was quite red. He shouted, "It stings!" He then handed Chris the flags. Chris counted them. "Three flags. Gophers, if you can beat that, you're golden."

Scott sat down on the jet ski, and grinned evilly at Ella. "Are you ready, princess girl?"

Ella smiled sweetly. "Oh, yes." Scott zoomed off, but if it bothered Ella, it didn't show. He drove as wildly as possible to try to shake her, but she wasn't fazed by any of it. As she skied, she sang:

_"Skiing on the water is so lovely,_

_Underneath the summer sun,_

_Not a cloud in the sky above me,_

_I am having lots of fun,_

_The way the sunlight bounces off the water,_

_And rainbows in the ocean spray,_

_The beauty sets my heart aflutter,_

_Today is such a lovely day!"_

As she sang the last note, she grabbed the fifth flag, having successfully collected all five. "And Ella wins it for her team by...singing?" Chris announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"All I'm going to say is, that girl has nerves of steel. Also, where was the music she was singing to coming from?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"And that means that I will be seeing you guys at elimination," Chris said to the Bass team. The members of the Bass team groaned.

* * *

At the elimination ceremony, Chris held his plate of marshmallows. "Honestly, several of you messed up today, yet none to the point of being solely responsible for your loss today. But one of you has to go, and it won't be DJ, Lindsay, Topher, Tyler, or Scarlett," he said.

"But as for the rest of you, you're all at risk. Courtney, Mike, Ezekiel, and Sam for losing your challenges, and Scott for failing to shake Ella."

Scott interjected, "Hey, that's not my fault! She was determined!"

"Which is why you're safe," the host said, as he tossed the ginger a marshmallow. "Courtney, you are also safe. But the other three received votes tonight. And tonight's loser is..."

_"Ezekiel."_

Ezekiel gasped. "Wot? Why me? I did wot yoo said, and kept quiet, eh."

Chris shrugged. "I guess you just weren't popular enough with your teammates. It happens." Ezekiel sighed and began to walk down the Dock of Shame.

Scott's expression was shocked, but he quickly recovered and scanned the crowd of faces. Courtney and DJ were both confused, Sam and Mike were relieved, Lindsay and Tyler both were studying the ground, Topher's expression was impassive, and Scarlett was smirking. He narrowed his eyes.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I may be from redneck territory, but I ain't no sucker. I know why Ezekiel was voted out, and probably Rodney, too. They were voted out in order to weaken me. And I'm guessing Scarlett was behind it. I've even got a pretty good idea of who she's allied with. Well, if it's war you want, Smart Girl, it's war you'll get! I ain't goin' down without a fight!"

**End confessional**

* * *

As the campers were leaving the campfire area, Scott drew Courtney, DJ, and Sam aside. Once he was certain the other five were out of earshot, he whispered to them, "Hey, I need to talk to the three of you. First, none of you are in an alliance with Scarlett, right?"

The three of them looked confused. Courtney asked, "No, why?"

Scott responded, "I didn't think so, but I had to be sure. I have reason to believe Scarlett, Mike, Lindsay, Topher, and Tyler are in an alliance, and that Scarlett is calling the shots for them." The other three all looked frightened by the implications.

DJ asked him, "All of them? Are you sure?"

Scott answered, "I can't prove it, but yes. Remember how she chose them to work with her in the capture the flag challenge? That would have been the perfect time to tell them to vote for Ezekiel when we next lost. And I think their alliance was responsible for voting out Rodney, too. Now, I'm suggesting we form an alliance of our own to fight them. It might take a bit of dishonesty and playing dirty, but I think we can still beat them."

Courtney's expression darkened. "I'm in."

Scott smiled. "I thought you would be."

Sam and DJ both looked more uncertain. "I'm in too, but there's still five of them and four of us," Sam said. "What do we do about that?"

Scott grinned maliciously. "Leave that to me." He put his hand in the center of the circle the four of them created, and Courtney and Sam both put their hands in as well. The three of them then looked at DJ expectantly. Courtney said, "Well?"

DJ took a deep breath. "I hope I don't regret this." He placed his hand in to join theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now, it looks like things are getting interesting on the Bass team, eh? I just hope the ending makes up for what I thought was an underwhelming challenge. Unfortunately, I wasn't feeling particularly inspired for this challenge. I'll make it up to you guys next chapter, I promise.
> 
> But back to the topic of the Bass team, things are certainly getting interesting. Scarlett has a majority vote right now, and Scott knows it. Now, we'll just have to wait and see what he does about it. He may be at a disadvantage, but I wouldn't count him out just yet.
> 
> As for my thoughts on Ezekiel, I feel sorry for him more than anything else. I don't really like him, and I don't think stories where he gets far feel realistic for the most part, with Total Shuffled World Tour being the only exception I can think of. But he's harmless, he shouldn't have been first out in World Tour (would it have killed them to eliminate him fifth or sixth?), and he definitely didn't deserve his canon fate. I also think writing his dialogue is kind of annoying, but I can assure you that didn't factor into his low placement.
> 
> Apologies for the chapter being short. I promise you a long one next time, okay?
> 
> I do have a lot challenges planned, but I do still need some ideas, particularly for the four-team phase but also some for the two-team phase. The idea is for the challenges to get more sadistic over time, PM me if you have ideas. Do not leave your challenge suggestions in the reviews, or I will not consider them.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy


	14. Only One Can Remain

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Dawn, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Eva, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Gwen, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on Topher practicing his hosting skills in the forest. "And tensions are high on the Bass team," he recapped. "With the recent elimination of Ezekiel, Scarlett's alliance showed their hand. Finding themselves within the minority, what will—oh, hey, Scott!" the wannabe host said as he saw the farmer approach him. "You didn't hear any of that, did you? Because I was just practicing my hosting skills, and—"

"Save it," Scott said. "I already knew about Scarlett's alliance. It's what, her, you, Mike, Lindsay, and Tyler?"

Topher sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness. Now I don't have to keep it a secret."

Scott said, "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Sure, Scarlett has a majority alliance. But do you really think her alliance will get you very far? Mike, Lindsay, and especially Tyler are all pretty useless in challenges, so even after you get rid of the four of us, there's a good chance you guys could lose again. And you seem like the smartest and most capable of Scarlett's minions, so guess who she'll turn on first. Courtney, DJ, Sam, and I are in an alliance, and if you would join ours, we'd appreciate it."

Topher looked thoughtful. "I know she'll probably betray me. But wouldn't I be in the same situation with your alliance?"

Scott decided not to lie. "Probably. But we're a lot better in challenges than they are. The five of us could probably make the merge together without too much trouble, and once that happens, you can find some new allies."

Topher stroked his chin. "I'll think about it, okay? I don't want to make any promises right now."

Scott smiled. "You do that. Oh, and don't tell Scarlett we know."

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"Hmm. Scott could potentially be useful. Besides, just having Scarlett corner the rest of her team probably won't be that good for ratings. If I want to prove I can be a host like Chris, I need to cause more drama than just being in a successful alliance. I…I think I have an idea. It's risky, but if it works, it could be my ticket to the finale."

**End confessional**

* * *

Shortly after their conversation in the woods, Scott and Topher made their ways back to camp separately. And just in time too. "Attention, campers!" Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker. "It's challenge time! Report to the Bay of Dismay to see what it is!"

"Great name, Chris!" Sierra shouted.

"Yes, it sounds like it will be great for ratings!" Topher agreed loudly.

Chris smiled at the praise he was receiving from the two. "I know."

As the campers were all walking to the Bay of Dismay, Heather pulled Brick aside. "If we lose today, are you okay with voting out Duncan?" she asked.

Brick frowned and nodded. "I would honestly be okay with that. I think our teamwork would be better without him."

Heather smiled. "I agree."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"My alliance members aren't really able to compete that well with the people outside my alliance on my team right now if it comes down to it. I need a guarantee that if we lose, I won't be the one losing an alliance member. And Brick and Duncan hate each other, so that might just be what I need."

**End confessional**

* * *

Once they reached the Bay of Dismay, Chris addressed the campers again. "Okay, so, originally, I had this pre-challenge planned; where you would all have to own up to a bunch of embarrassing facts about yourselves, and if you didn't own up, your team would be dunked in the water. But I eventually just edited that idea a bit, then turned it into its own challenge. So, we're skipping straight to part two. The Mad Skills Obstacle Course Relay Race!" The camera panned over to show a large obstacle course with ten sections.

"Boo-yah!" Harold said, grinning as he pumped his fist. "This challenge basically has me written all over it. 'Mad Skills' is basically my middle name. Well, actually, it's Norbert, Cheever, and Doris, but still."

Chris gave him a look. "The relay race begins with a mad dash from the Kick Start," he said as the camera showed a quartet of giant rubber boots that were connected to poles on either sides by enormous axles. "Forget coffee, if these babies don't get you goin', nothin' will. Oh, and for this one, you'll be wearing goggles that obscure your vision. Just this one, though, because the budget ran out."

Then the camera showed a large pit of mud. "Then there's the slow, sticky run through Mudslide Canyon. Hope you don't mind getting dirty!"

After that, the camera showed a grid of moving lasers. "After that, there's the race against time that is the Laser Blast Run. Hope you're good at dodging, 'cause those things _hurt_." As if on cue, a bird flew into one of the lasers, then got zapped, causing all its feathers to fall out. The bird fell to the ground, and then tried to run away. A hand came out from under the obstacle course, and grabbed the bird. Maniacal laughter could be heard from underneath.

After that, it showed a zip line over the bay. "The zip line comes next. Fairly straightforward, but whatever. Just don't fall, or you have the choice of going back to try again, or swimming through the rest of the bay."

The next obstacle consisted of logs set up to roll on their sides, with air cannons firing dodgeballs across the space between them. "And because we still have the dodgeballs, Cannonball Alley got set up. I wanted wrecking balls like on the Wii Fit Plus minigame, but we could only afford two, so I got half a dozen air cannons instead."

Fifth was a close-up of a large, red, butt-shaped apparatus that was moving up and down. "And after that, the bouncy agony of Double Trouble!" The camera zoomed out to show that there were five of the contraptions in each lane.

Seventh was a foam path with a rotating x-shaped foam-padded bar next to it. "You have to be quick and time it right in order to avoid being knocked off by the Sweeper Spinner! I love this show."

Eighth was a wall with several holes in it, out of which boxing gloves came out. "Next we have the Wall of Punches! With extra concussion power!"

After that, a climbing wall covered in grease. "Up next is the Wall of Greasy Slipperiness! Guaranteed to cause at least a few falls, or double your money back! Well, the producers' money, anyways."

Finally, the camera showed an artificial waterfall with a ladder inside. "Finally, you have the Waterfall Climb. Try not to get swept away! Or do, either works for me."

The camera went back to Chris. "This time you actually get to decide who does what obstacle. Oh, and since the Badger and Bass teams don't have ten people exactly, the Badgers will have two people pair up for an obstacle, and the Bass will have one person do two obstacles. It can be any person and any two obstacles; they don't have to be consecutive."

Scarlett decided to take charge of her team. "It is clear that some of the obstacles will take more athleticism to conquer than others. Therefore, I am suggesting Topher do the Kick Start, DJ the mud run, Mike the lasers, myself the zip line, Courtney the cannons, Lindsay the bouncers, Sam the Sweeper, Tyler the Wall of Punches, and..."

"I'll take the last two myself," Scott finished.

"Who does she think she is?" Courtney whispered to him after they walked a short distance away from Scarlett.

"Yeah, I know," replied Scott. "But just go with it for now. If we lose this challenge, we're screwed."

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"Now that I know she's the enemy, having to play nice with Scarlett makes my blood boil."

**End confessional**

* * *

Alejandro asked his teammates, "Does anyone wish to be partnered up for this challenge?"

Katie and Sadie volunteered. "Ooh! We wanna be partnered up!"

Alejandro said, "Excellent. Now, would you be willing to perform the mud run? It seems like the most conducive to having two people perform it."

Katie, shocked, said, "Ew, no! We don't wanna get mud all over our clothes!"

"You do realize all the obstacles except the zip line and the waterfall are over mud, right?" Gwen deadpanned. "You're probably going to get muddy either way."

Sadie said, "But we should at least get a chance not to get muddy!"

Alejandro sighed. "Okay. We can have Trent begin with the Kick Start, Justin can cross Mudslide Canyon, Zoey can take the Laser Blast Run, Bridgette gets the zip line, Sky shall perform the cannon log roll, Gwen will take the bouncers, Katie and Sadie may handle the Sweeper Spinner, Geoff the Wall of Punches, Sierra the Wall of Greasy Slipperiness, and I shall perform the Waterfall Climb. How does that suit?"

Justin shrugged. "The mud will probably be good for my skin anyway."

* * *

The challenge began with a pre-shot of who would perform which obstacle. "First up at the Kick Start it's Beardo versus Topher versus Cameron versus Trent," Chris said via voice-over. "Then it's B, DJ, Leshawna, and Justin racing through the mud."

"After that, it's Samey versus Mike versus Harold versus Zoey," the shot showed the four with varying degrees of nervousness, "versus the lasers."

"Then we have Ella, Scarlett, Cody, and Bridgette on the zip line," the host continued. Cody walked up to Scarlett, making a terrible attempt to be smooth.

"Hey, I don't think we've gotten a chance to talk," he said to her. "We should really get to know each other better, perhaps...over a romantic dinner?"

She gave him a blank look. "I have no use for romance."

He hesitated for a moment, and said, "Not the romantic type? That's okay. I can do romantic or casual."

She brushed him off. "Your advances are neither wanted nor reciprocated."

Chris laughed over the voice-over. "Ouch, things are getting painful already, and the relay race hasn't even started yet! But anyway, after that, Courtney, Jasmine, Sky, and Lightning face each other in Cannonball Alley," the shot showed the Courtney and Jasmine looking at each other with narrowed eyes, and Lightning and Sky engaging in friendly trash-talk, "Gwen, Noah, Lindsay, and Beth will take on Double Trouble," Beth and Noah looked at the apparati warily while Lindsay studied a compact mirror and Gwen ignored the three, "Owen, Dawn, Sam, and Katie and Sadie will battle the Sweeper Spinner," the camera showed Dawn looking disinterested, Sam thumb-wrestling Owen and beating him badly, and Katie and Sadie gossiping, "Heather, Tyler, Aiden, and Geoff will fight the Wall of Punches," the four were shown looking nervously at the wall, "Duncan, Shawn, Sierra, and Scott will scale the Wall of Greasy Slipperiness," the four were shown stretching and getting ready to climb, "And then Scott will continue to the Waterfall Climb to face Brick, Eva, and Alejandro," the host finished, and the three others mentioned were shown staring and the ladders within the artificial waterfall.

The interns handed out batons to the first four. The boots then all came down at once. Topher and Trent both dodged, and Cameron yelped and dropped to the ground, leaving the boot to pass over him. Beardo wasn't so lucky. The boot hit him, and he dropped into the gap between the platforms. "And Beardo gets the boot!" Chris announced.

"Hey, I did all right!" Cameron said and ran forward, but he ran into the gap by mistake.

"Topher gets his team the early lead with a flawless start!" Topher narrated as he and Trent jumped over the gap. "And he makes a flawless pass to DJ!" He passed the baton to DJ. Trent also passed Justin the baton. Both DJ and Justin both started moving through the mud, DJ noticeably faster than Justin. Trent shouted at the latter, "Can't you run any faster? Are those muscles just for show?"

Justin shouted back, "Of course! I'm a model, not an athlete!"

Cameron and Beardo both got out of the mud when DJ was about three-quarters of the way through, and Justin was only about one-quarter of the way through. They both passed the batons on quickly, and B and Leshawna both jumped into the mud quickly and started powering through as quickly as possible.

DJ quickly climbed onto the platform where Mike was waiting and passed off the baton. Mike took it, and looked at the laser grid. "I can do this, I can do this," he told himself. Then he gasped. "Wrong! Only one person can do zis! Up now is Svetlana, champion gymnast!" Svetlana then started expertly making "her" way through the lasers, but then paused. "Manitoba was correct. Something eez not right. But I do not know vhat."

"Focus, Svetlana!" DJ shouted as B and Leshawna climbed out of the mud. Justin was still only about halfway there. Seeing them hand off their batons to Sammy and Harold, Svetlana immediately resumed making her way through the laser grid. Harold and Sammy both followed after her. Harold made his way through the lasers fairly quickly, while Sammy moved at a more sedate pace.

Svetlana successfully made her way to Scarlett and handed off the baton, then gasped and turned back into Mike. Scarlett accepted the baton, and zipped down on the zip line. Cody followed a few seconds later, when Harold handed the baton off to him.

Justin finally climbed up to where Zoey was waiting, and handed her the baton. "Take it," he panted. Chris announced, "And Justin _finally_ makes it past his obstacle," seemingly just to rub salt into the wound.

* * *

**Confessional: Justin**

"Honestly, what was Alejandro thinking, giving me an obstacle that would require actual physical strength? Well, at least I was right. This mud really is good for my skin."

**End confessional**

* * *

Zoey took the baton, and quickly started making her way through the lasers.

Scarlett and Cody both made it to the opposite side of the bay without incident, and handed off their batons to Courtney and Lightning. Both immediately started on the log rolls, with Lightning taking the lead over Courtney. He probably would have reached the other side fairly easily if not for a dodgeball fired at him. When he saw it coming at him, he caught it rather than dodging, which caused him to lose his balance and fall. "Sha- _whoa_!" he shouted, surprised at losing his balance.

Courtney also was hit by a dodgeball from one of the cannons further away from her. "Great, I have to watch _both_ sides? This day is just getting better and better," she spat bitterly.

Zoey and Sammy both got out around the same time. They handed their batons off to Ella and Bridgette, who both grabbed the zip line T-bars and went after the other two.

Lightning and Courtney went to try again, more carefully this time. Both of them moved more slowly this time, but they both managed to dodge the balls being shot at them. They made it to the other side just as Bridgette reached the platform.

Bridgette passed off the baton just as Ella arrived. Sky, learning from Courtney and Lightning's mistakes, started making her way across the log roll, watching all of the cannons carefully. Jasmine followed close behind.

Lightning passed the baton to Noah, who jumped onto the bouncer. He made it three bouncers before he fell off. When Lindsay took the baton, she studied the bouncers and waited for a few seconds, watching Noah's attempt. Then she jumped onto one of them, then kept jumping, making it to the other side without incident. "And Lindsay surprisingly makes it to the other side," Chris commented, surprised.

* * *

**Confessional: Lindsay**

"It wasn't that hard. I just had to go straight forward at the right speed."

**End confessional**

* * *

Just as Sky and Jasmine were almost across the log roll, Noah tried again. He landed painfully on his stomach on the first bulb, then on his back on the second, then on his stomach on the third, then on his back on the fourth, then on his stomach on the fifth, then on his back on the platform. "That was painful," he commented.

Lindsay passed Sam the baton, and he started running across the narrow bridge that the Sweeper Spinner guarded. When he saw it coming his way, he said, "Okay, it's just like the game. Wait for it to get close, and...jump!" He tried to jump over the Spinner's arm, but he tripped over it, and tumbled from the platform into the mud below.

Gwen managed to get past Double Trouble without incident, but Beth wasn't so lucky. She tried crossing the bouncers, but she lost her balance and fell. "Ooh, and it looks like Beth is _struggling_!" Chris announced. "That could cost her team!"

Owen tried the Sweeper next. He tried to cross before the arm could sweep him off, but the arm did end up reaching him. However, it failed to push him off as it did Sam. "Hey, I'm too heavy for it to handle!" he shouted. "Awesome!" He powered forwards, actually pushing the arm of the Sweeper back. "And Owen's bulk proves too much for the Sweeper Spinner, getting his team the lead!" Chris announced. Beth angrily sighed, and tried her obstacle again, again failing.

Gwen passed the baton to Katie and Sadie, who began on their obstacle. When the arm came towards them, Katie managed to duck under it. Sadie wasn't so lucky, and she fell. Katie noticed she was still holding the baton, and shouted, "I'll be back for you, Sadie!" But Chris interrupted he over the intercom. "Uh uh uh, everyone who starts on an obstacle has to finish!" Katie paused, and the arm knocked her into the mud as well.

Owen passed the baton to Aiden, who started on the Wall of Punches. Almost immediately, he got hit by several of the boxing gloves popping out of the wall. "Ooh! And that's why that obstacle is my favorite!" Chris announced.

Sam tried again, this time ducking under the arm when it came towards him. He did successfully make it past the obstacle, and handed the baton off to Tyler.

Katie and Sadie tried again. This time, they were both successful in ducking under the arm. Katie stood up and said, "Yes! We did it!"

"We did it? Yay, we did it!" Sadie responded. They hugged...only to be swept into the mud again by another arm of the spinner.

Aiden was making his way across the Wall of Punches, getting battered pretty hard. He was able to take it for the most part, until a boxing glove hit him in the groin, and he screamed and let go.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Well, I'm aesexual, so I guess I wasn't using that anyway?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Beth finally made it across Double Trouble, and handed the baton to Dawn. "And Beth finally makes it past her obstacle," Chris announced over the loudspeaker. "But given the Bass and Moose team's leads, it might have already cost her team the win."

Dawn commented, "That's not really helpful, Chris." She passed the wannabe twins climbing back onto the platform to try again, and made it past the Sweeper quickly and without incident.

Tyler started on the Wall of Punches. Like Aiden, he received several blows from the Wall. However, unlike the quiet teen, he didn't get knocked off by the boxing gloves. He managed to hold onto the wall, and made it to the other side. "And Tyler, of all people, manages to recover the lead for his team," Chris announced. "Color me surprised."

Scott took the baton, and began on the Wall of Greasy Slipperiness. It visibly took a great deal of difficulty, but he was doing it.

Heather began on the Wall of Punches next, still getting punched several times but not having as bad a time of it as the two pain magnets who preceded her. She managed to make it to Duncan battered, but without collapsing. He took the baton and began the climb, visibly not doing as well as Scott.

"Give up, tough guy!" Scott shouted back. "I've been wrestling greased pigs in tournaments for years! I might not be as good at it as my sister Albertha, but I can deal with grease a lot easier than some middle-class punk!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I..." Duncan slipped and fell back to the ground. "Maybe focus on climbing, Duncan, not trash talk," Chris said over the speaker.

Aiden tried the Wall of Punches again. He got beaten badly by the boxing gloves again, and he fell again. "Ooh, tough luck, Aiden!" Chris announced. "That's gonna be sore for days!"

After Aiden fell, Geoff was next on the Wall of Punches. He did get punched by a lot of boxing gloves, but managed to make it across without being hurt too badly. He passed the baton to Sierra, who made an equally unsuccessful attempt to Duncan's to climb the Wall of Greasy Slipperiness.

As Scott was almost at the top, Aiden finally made it past his obstacle, bruised and battered. He collapsed onto the platform. "I'm just gonna take that..." Shawn said as he took the baton from Aiden's hand, then he started climbing. He easily passed Duncan and Sierra, and his speed rattled Scott. The farmer scrambled to the top and fell headfirst down the other side.

"Dude, you have got to be more careful!" Shawn admonished loudly enough for Scott to hear. "What if there had been a zombie on the other side?"

"And let me guess, you're so good at climbing greasy walls because that might come up in a zombie apocalypse?" Duncan asked snidely.

"Never know what you'll have to do while covered in grease to protect your brains," Shawn said.

On the other side of the wall, Courtney and DJ, who had run to where Scott had fallen, were examining his fallen form. "I think he's concussed," Courtney told DJ.

"Then that means...I'm gonna have to do the last obstacle," DJ said. He grabbed the baton from Scott's hand and ran to the base of the artificial waterfall. He took a deep breath and began to climb.

Shawn made it over the wall a few seconds later, and passed the baton to Eva. "And it looks like this is gonna be a close one!" Chris announced. "DJ has the lead, but can he stay ahead of Eva?"

DJ and Eva both frantically raced up the waterfall ladders. DJ was moving fast, but Eva was slowly closing the gap. Duncan eventually made it over the wall, but nobody cared at this point. The only thing that mattered was whether DJ or Eva would reach the top first. Eventually one camper crossed the finish line only half a second before the other, and the winner was...

DJ!

* * *

**Confessional: DJ**

"I think I'm finally over my fear of water."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And the Bass win!" Chris announced. "To the winners go the spoils," he continued as Dakota brought out what looked like a gift basket. "McLean brand soap, shampoo, and conditioner. Guaranteed to wash off the stink!" A pleasant tune played in the background. "Oh, and Chef? Get Scott to the infirmary." Chef obliged, picking up Scott and carrying him over his shoulder. "Do we need to take Aiden to the infirmary too?" he asked.

Aiden got back up. "I'm fine," he said.

Chris finished, "I will see the other three teams at elimination."

* * *

Justin, Katie, Sadie, and Alejandro were talking in an isolated group. "So, we agree on who to vote for?" Justin asked the others.

"Si, mi amigo," Alejandro replied. "I'll vote with you." Katie and Sadie nodded in agreement, starry-eyed.

Justin smiled. "If we're lucky, the vote will be divided enough that the four of us will be enough."

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Today was not pleasant. Mike's team won, and mine is going to elimination. Some curse," he scoffed. "But I do get to test out my strategy now." He wrote something on a piece of paper. "As long as I keep them guessing, I can have those window lickers on my team vote however I want." He punctuated his sentence with a flourish of his pen.

**End confessional**

* * *

Harold, Cody, Noah, and Cameron reentered their cabin for privacy. "So, who do you guys think we should vote for?" Cody asked.

Harold said, "Aiden did take the longest to get past his obstacle, so it seems logical to...what's this?" He picked up a piece of paper from his bunk. "'Vote for Eva or I snitch on your alliance?' Who could have found out?"

Cameron said, "Hmm. We should probably obey the note until we know who sent it. We do need to keep our alliance secret, after all, or we'll be voted out for sure. But once we find out who it was, we can eliminate them."

"All right," Noah agreed. "We vote out Eva tonight, although challenges will be a lot harder without her."

* * *

Outside, Heather asked Brick, "Are you still on board with voting out Duncan?"

Brick nodded. "I think it would be better for our team in the long run."

Heather nodded. "Good. I'll see if there's anyone else I can get to vote with us."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I doubt any of my other teammates will want to vote out Duncan over Beth, my alliance notwithstanding. But I can keep Beth in the game in another way."

**End confessional**

* * *

Heather found Duncan carving a skull onto the cabin wall. "Okay, so, Duncan? I want to talk to you. In private," she offered.

"Sorry, you've got a great body, but not worth losing a shot at five mil," Duncan said sarcastically.

"Ew, gross! No, not like that!" Heather protested.

"Then what?" Duncan asked.

"Okay, tonight, there will be four votes for Beth, one for you, your vote, and four votes for whoever I say to vote out. Either I can make you go to a tiebreaker and risk losing..." she trailed off.

"Or?" Duncan said.

"You and I could work together to get rid of someone else."

Duncan thought for a moment. "How do I know you won't just vote me out anyway?"

Heather said, "You and I could _literally_ vote together. As in, at the same time, in the confessional together."

Duncan looked thoughtful. "All right. Deal. Who are we voting for?"

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris adressed the members of all three teams present. "Usually at these ceremonies, I pass out a bunch of marshmallows to build tension. But tonight, that would take too long. So, I'm just going to name our three losers tonight, and watch to see your expressions!" He laughed. "Tonight's losers are...

"Gwen, Dawn, and Eva."

"What?" many of the campers exclaimed. Eva glared at her teammates. "What? How dare you? I'll tear you all limb from limb!" She lunged at the nearest of her teammates, who just so happened to be Owen, and punched him in the gut. She then fell over with several tranquilizer darts in her butt.

"But, why? Justin, Katie, and Sadie were the ones who messed up." Gwen asked.

"I guess someone's going after threats early," Chris replied. "Any last words before taking the Cruise of Lose?"

"I have several," Dawn said.

Chris raised his eyebrows. "This should be good. Go on."

"B, I wish you the best of luck," she said to B, who still looked shocked. "Brick, Duncan, your rivalry will tear your team apart if you don't do something about it," she said to the two unibrowed boys. They both looked down in shame.

"Lightning, you must learn to keep your pride in check or it will lead you to ruin, as it did with Jo," she said to Lightning. "Sierra, your continued mutual bitterness with Topher is not healthy for either of you. Nor is your obsession with Chris. He's not worth it."

"O-kay, that's enough," Chris interrupted her. "Chef, take them away."

"But I didn't get to tell them who the traitors on their teams were!" Dawn protested.

"Too late," Chris said. Chef dragged the three eliminated girls onto the Boat of Losers.

"Listen, friends! The traitors are—" Dawn tried to warn the others, but was cut off by the boat's horn. Chris turned to the remaining campers.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight."_

* * *

**Confessional: Ella**

"Am I cursed to have to vote out each of my teammates just as we're becoming friends?"

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine I've just made some people very upset. While I think you might be fairly willing to forgive me for eliminating Eva, Gwen and Dawn are a different story. They're both fan favorites, and I recognize that there's a reason for that. But before you start calling me an unredeemable monster in the reviews section, let me explain why I chose to eliminate them. Then you can call me an unredeemable monster.
> 
> I eliminated Gwen because she and Trent together were a big threat, and between the two of them, Gwen has received more focus in both canon and fanon. I wanted a chance to focus on Trent without Gwen, or any other love interest, around.
> 
> Similarly, Dawn is a big threat to antagonists because of her empathic abilities, and while several stories have been written where B and Dawn are close, they all seem to end with B getting eliminated and Dawn having to keep going without him. See: Total Drama: Brains vs Brawn vs Beauty and Random Drama Pahkitew Island. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but I wanted to try something different and have Dawn eliminated first, leaving B to keep going without her. Due to the fact that he doesn't talk, B rarely gets much development, but I think it's possible to develop him without having him talk, and I want to try.
> 
> I'm just going to confirm four returning campers at the halfway point before you all decide to kill me.
> 
> As for my thoughts on the three in canon:
> 
> Eva is very justified as an early boot for someone so strong, but she does have a lot of untapped potential.
> 
> Dawn is essentially a gimmick character, but her gimmick is a very good one. And unlike a lot of other gimmick characters like Justin or Staci, she does have a great deal of development potential. I just decided to focus on B instead because he gets less fanon focus.
> 
> Gwen was great in Island, but over time I started liking her less and less. I do still like her, inasmuch as I can like any character who made the All-Stars merge not named Scott, but overall I think I would have been happier if she had gotten to keep the check from Island and not return to the show.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Outcast
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead


	15. Who Can You Trust?

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Duncan, Ella, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the teams eating breakfast. None of the usual conversation was taking place, and the teams were mostly eating in silence, largely with suspicious looks on their faces.

Geoff commented, "Man, you guys need to cheer up. It's like a graveyard here."

Trent was the first to reply. "Not likely to happen until we figure out what the hell happened last night. There is no reason why Gwen should have been voted out. Same with Dawn and Eva, actually. They all did pretty well yesterday. What happened?"

Courtney overheard the question. "Scarlett, did you have anything to do with that?"

Scarlett replied, "Your low opinion of me means nothing to me. The fact remains, I had nothing to do with the eliminations last night, save for helping my team win."

Jasmine decided to contribute to the discussion. "Well, I can guess why Dawn went home, at least. It's 'cause Heather didn't want Beth to get eliminated, so she probably got her little group to vote Dawn out. Not sure who the fifth vote was, though."

Brick said, "Probably Duncan. She knew I was voting for him and he probably wouldn't want to go to a tiebreaker."

B glared at Heather, clearly furious.

Heather thought for a moment to try to deny it, realized there was no point, then put on a regretful look. "I'm sorry. I'm just not good at making friends, and I couldn't just let one of my friends get voted out. I wasn't close to Dawn, and she wasn't one of our strongest players, so we voted her out instead."

The expressions on the faces of the other Gophers ranged from anger (B) to suspicion (Jasmine) to disapproval (Brick) to uncertainty (Sammy) to defensiveness (Duncan) to regret (Ella, Beth, and Beardo). Finally, Brick said, "I appreciate your loyalty. But that sort of dishonesty is not permissible."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Okay, so getting the others to trust me again will be hard, but I'm sure I can do it. I just need to win a few challenges to buy some time."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene shifted to the forest. Chris walked into view with a frown on his face. "Hi! Chris here. Sometimes, teams...just don't get along. So, the producers and I thought the best way to work through the group friction would be," he grinned, "to exploit it for laughs." He rubbed his hands together. "This is gonna be awesome!"

* * *

The four teams were lined up at the dock. "Two challenges ago, some Bass issues came to light," Chris began. Scarlett and Courtney glared at each other, while Scott stared at Topher questioningly. Topher had a poker face. "And I'm detecting some issues with the other three teams as well." B glared at Heather, Duncan and Brick refused to look at each other, the Moose all looked at each other suspiciously, several of the Badgers eyed each other suspiciously, and Trent looked like he was about to freak out. "So," the host continued, "this episode's challenge will be all about building trust, because all good things begin with a little trust."

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"Yeah, I'll trust my teammates once whoever got Gwen eliminated is voted out."

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Trust is a good way to get your brains eaten. If you want to survive, suspicion is important."

**Confessional: Topher**

"Trust might be good for ratings, but mistrust is better!"

**Confessional: Ella**

"I think it's wonderful that Chris is trying to help our teams trust each other again, don't you?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"There will be three major challenges that have to be completed by two or more members of your team," Chris elaborated. "Win one of these challenges, and your team gets immunity. Normally, we would let you pick your pairs, or choose them randomly, but not this time! More fun for me!"

* * *

The scene cut to the mountainside, where Chris explained the first challenge. "Okay! So, for the first challenge, you'll be doing an extreme rock climbing adventure! Leshawna and Cameron will play for the Moose," he said as he tossed the two a belay and harness.

"Ooh, my first rock climb! How exciting!" Cameron exclaimed.

"Zoey and Alejandro will play for the Badgers," Chris continued.

Alejandro said to Zoey, "You should be the one to climb. While your agility is matched only by your beauty," she blushed at this, "you do not have the strength needed to hold me up."

"Oh...okay," she stammered.

"DJ and Tyler will play for the Bass," Chris said.

Tyler grinned. "Ooh! I wanna climb! I'll climb that cliff like Spiderman!"

DJ looked at him. "Sure," he replied. "That probably would be better than having me climb."

"And Hector and Samey will play for the Gophers." Chris said.

Both Beardo and Sammy looked at Beardo's stomach. Beardo spoke what they were both thinking. "You climb. I'll probably be more able to hold you up than the other way around."

"You won't be holding them up, exactly," Chris continued. "One camper pulls the slack through the belay as their partner climbs. If they fall, the rope keeps them from crashing." He pulled the slack through the belay and threw it to DJ, who was watching.

"The catch? Both the side and the base of the mountain are rigged with a few minor distractions, like rusty nails, slippery oil slicks, mild explosives, and a few other surprises."

Tyler pumped his fist. "Extreme!"

Chris grinned. "The person on belay must also harness their partner up. It's all about trust, people, and remember, _ne-ver_ let go of the rope! Your partner's life depends on it!" At this, Sammy, Aiden, and Zoey looked at their partners nervously.

Sammy looked down at the unusually complicated system of loops Beardo was tying on her. She hesitantly asked, "Uh, are you sure this is safe?"

Beardo looked at it critically. "Yeah? More knots means more safe, right?"

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Mom, if I die, make sure Amy doesn't get any of my stuff. Donate it all to charity or something, I don't care. Just don't let her have it."

**End confessional**

* * *

The challenge began, and the four climbers started off. Zoey pulled ahead, with Tyler and Sammy in hot pursuit, and Cameron dropping behind. A close-up shot of a patch of nails was shown, and Tyler's hand grabbed them. The pain magnet screamed, but didn't let go.

Zoey edged her way up the mountain, teeth gritted. An explosive went off a few inches away from her shoulder. "That was way too close!" she exclaimed. Then, another bomb went off near her hand, and she accidentally let go. Alejandro caught the rope, just before she hit the ground.

"I did promise surprises," Chris said, as he held up a super soaker. "Habañero pepper sauce, anyone?"

He sprayed DJ in the face with hot sauce. DJ screamed. "Aah! My eyes!" He dropped the rope, and ran off. Tyler looked back and saw, and gulped.

"Muy caliente!" Chris exclaimed, and tried to spray Beardo. Brick stepped in front of him and took the spray. Upon receiving a liberal amount of hot sauce in the mouth, his face turned red, and he started coughing. Upon seeing the concerned looks he was getting from his teammates, he coughed out, "I'm (cough) okay!"

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"Not being able to do anything to help Sa...I mean, my team, was driving me crazy. Yes, I'll gladly take a spray of hot sauce to the face for the sake of teamwork!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris sprayed Alejandro next. Alejandro barely even reacted. He looked at Chris, and said, "Is that the best you have?"

"Is that the best we have?" Chris asked Chef.

Sammy kept climbing, trying to keep pace with Tyler. However, her foot hit an oil slick, and she slipped. She fell from the cliff. Beardo saw her fall and tried to catch her, but the knots holding her in the harness came undone. He made an alarm noise as she fell. She landed hard on the ground.

Brick rushed to her side. "Sammy!"

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"I should have been able to do something!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick picked Sammy up. "Here, I'll get you to the infirmary." He rushed off, with her in his arms.

Cameron was edging his way up slowly, when Zoey accidentally placed her foot on his face while climbing, trying to catch up with Tyler. He let go, but Leshawna caught him before he hit the ground. "Sorry!" Zoey called.

She climbed after Tyler, and almost caught up, when a huge explosion happened with him at the center, the shock of which caused Zoey to fall again. Chris cringed, and whispered to Chef, "Are we liable if Tyler gets reduced to ash?" Chef cringed.

However, the lanky figure of Tyler soon climbed out of the descending dust cloud, and over the edge of the cliff. Chris sighed in relief, and announced, "I don't know how Tyler managed to hang onto the cliff face, but he won the first challenge! Now, get him to the infirmary, pronto!"

Two interns quickly picked up Tyler, a slightly built male with shaggy black hair with a white stripe in the center, and a slightly built Asian female with blond hair and a robotic expression.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"So Tyler does have a skills set after all. A very specific skills set, but if we need someone to climb something while in extreme pain again, we know who to call."

**End confessional**

* * *

A trio of lights came on in the Mess Hall, illuminating a podium in front of the four tables, and showing six campers: B, Heather, Lightning, Aiden, Bridgette, and Geoff. The spotlights shined on the podium, where an unidentified male somersaulted in the air and landed behind the podium. Afterwards, Chris popped up from behind it, and said, "And now round two!" The camera pulled back to show the six teens watching him, and in the background, the unnamed man crawled away. "The Extreme Cooking Challenge! Each team must decide who cooks, and who eats!"

Geoff looked at Bridgette. "If you wanna cook, I'm cool with it." Bridgette accepted the responsibility, commenting that meat upsets her stomach anyway.

Aiden looked at Lightning. "You made the pasta back in the cooking challenge. You should cook."

B stared at Heather thunderously, grabbed the chef hat, and put it on his own head. Heather raised an eyebrow.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Yeah, no chance this meal will be an easy one. And out of all my teammates, I don't trust B not to try to get revenge against me."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Today you'll be preparing _fugu sashimi_ , the traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish," Chris continued, gesturing to a tank of the aforementioned fish.

Aiden said, "Actually, maybe I should—" but was cut off by Chris. "Uh-uh-uh! No backsies!"

"The fugu blowfish contains enough lethal toxin to kill thirty people," the host continued.

Chef tapped the side of the fish tank, and three blowfish inflated. He chuckled and said, "Fishies, meet your maker!" He then pulled the three fish out of the tank by their tails, and placed them on the cutting boards.

"They must be sliced _veeerrry_ carefully," Chris emphasized, "to cut around the poisonous organs. The poison paralyzes the nerves, and there is no antidote!"

B wrote something on a notepad, and handed it to Chris. Chris looked at the note. "Okay, apparently there _is_ an antidote," he corrected himself. "That's news to me. Still, you should be careful."

Lightning scoffed. "Sha-please. It's just a fish, how hard can it be?" He stabbed the fish with his knife, causing it to deflate and fly around the room.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Why me?"

**End confessional**

* * *

An indeterminate amount of time later, Bridgette placed the plate of sashimi in front of Geoff. "Sha-finally!" Lightning commented. "Me and B finished..." he started counting on his fingers, "Uh...we been waitin' for a while!" The camera showed a plate of neatly stacked sashimi rolls in front of Heather, and a plate of pink mush in front of Aiden.

Geoff stared at the sushi in front of him. He took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. He looked around, then smiled. "Excellence!" he commented.

Aiden took a bite of the pink mush in front of him, then he clutched his stomach and fell over. Foam and vomit poured out of his mouth.

After seeing Aiden's reaction to the toxin, Heather pushed her plate away. "Nope. I can't do it." She walked away from the table, and out of the Mess Hall. B watched her leave, then passive-aggressively ate the sashimi he had prepared. He showed no signs of adverse effects.

Bridgette looked at Aiden. "Is somebody going to help him?" The camera showed him in a spasm.

Chef, in a nurse's uniform, leaned over him and injected him with a large medical needle. Chris said, "Give him twenty-four hours, he'll be fine."

* * *

The camera shifted to a bit later, with Bridgette and Geoff on the docks. "Last one in's a rotten blowfish!" Geoff exclaimed as he ran down the dock and jumped into the lake. Bridgette followed shortly afterwards.

"You were so brave to eat that blowfish," Bridgette said.

"No biggie! I knew I could trust you. You're cool," Geoff told her.

"Oh yeah?" she smiled. "You know what else is cool? This!" She splashed him with water and swam off. He laughed and gave chase.

* * *

The scene cut to the infirmary, where Aiden was in a hospital bed, clearly still affected by the poison. Chef held up another large syringe. "This won't hurt a bit," he said as he tapped the syringe. "It'll hurt a whole lot."

The camera panned over to Sammy unconscious on another bed. Beside her stood Brick and Beardo. Brick wrung his hands. "I hope she's okay," he said quietly.

Beardo looked at him. "I hope so too. I'd feel rotten if she got badly hurt because of me," he said. "You really like her, don't you?"

The camera lingered on Brick's face. "Yeah, I do," he said, as he gently stroked her hair.

Over by Tyler, who was in a full body cast, Lindsay and Mike were looking incredibly worried. "I can't believe Chip," Lindsay said. "Making us do such dangerous stuff!"

Mike nodded. "Yeah! What kind of host lets these kinds of injuries happen?" He then bent over and became Chester. "Back in my day, bein' on TV was safe!"

He then stormed out of the infirmary. "Dangerous activities, stupid kids, and on top of that, I've got to deal with this ache in my bones." He then paused. "Actually, that ache feels familiar. I haven't ached like this since..."

Then his eyes popped. "Great Scott! _He's_ back! I've got to warn..." but then he gasped, straightened his back, and his hair fell over his eye, emo-style. "You'll warn no one, old man."

* * *

Chris addressed the remaining Gophers and Moose. "Good news, everyone! The third round includes _three_ more challenges! It's the Three Blind Challenges! It begins with the Blind William Tell, followed by the Blind Trapeze, and culminating in the treacherous Blind Toboggan."

He handed goggles to Noah, and placed an arrow on his head, then held up an apple and a slingshot. "Like legendary marksman William Tell," he continued, "you will be shooting arrows of of your teammates' heads with apples."

Harold felt the need to correct Chris. "Actually, William Tell shot an apple off of his son's head with a crossbow—"

"Shush!" Chris interrupted. "Also, the shooter will be blindfolded. Whoever shoots the arrow off first wins." He placed a white blindfold over his eyes, and shot the apple at Noah, hitting him in the groin.

"Brick and Duncan, you'll be one team. Shawn and Leshawna, you're the other." He passed the slingshots, blindfolds, and goggles to the two teams.

"I'll shoot! I've trained extensively with the slingshot, so I should be able to hit the arrow fairly easily," Shawn said. Leshawna raised an eyebrow at him. "You'd better."

Brick and Duncan both shouted, "Shooter, called it!" Duncan then shouted, "Rock, paper, scissors for it." They then did rock, paper, scissors. Brick chose rock. Duncan chose paper. Brick snapped his fingers. "Crap."

"Okay!" Chris said, pumping his fist. "Let's rock and roll!"

The shot cut to Brick and Leshawna standing across the clearing from Duncan and Shawn, with the arrows on their heads. Duncan shot first, missing the arrow and hitting Brick in the stomach. Shawn took a shot a second later, hitting the arrow on Leshawna's head.

"Wow! First try, Shawn!" Chris said.

Shawn took off the blindfold. "Of course. In a zombie apocalypse, ammo is scarce. You have to be able to make every shot count."

* * *

The next part of the challenge was at a wooden structure that consisted of a pool of water, with platforms at either end and a trapeze in the middle. "And now," Chris announced, "The Blind Trapeze! To avoid serious injury, the trapeze has been set up over this pool, which is filled with jellyfish." The camera showed multiple pinkish-purple jellyfish inside the water.

"You two," he said as he threw blindfolds to Beth and Harold, "will stand blindfolded on the platform until your partners tell you to jump." The two looked nervously at their assigned partners, Jasmine and Cody.

"And then we trust them to catch us, right?" Beth lisped.

"Yup!" Chris replied. "Otherwise, that's gonna be one heck of a painful swim. Okay, hut hut!"

The camera cut to the two blindfolded campers waiting on the platform, Jasmine swinging on the trapeze, and Cody swinging on the trapeze. Harold said to Jasmine, "Now, for the demonstration of my mad skills. Observe."

Cody then said, "Now!" and Harold jumped and caught his hands. However, he slightly mistimed the jump, was unable to grip more than the tips of Cody's fingers, and fell into the water. His screams of pain nearly caused Beth to lose her nerve.

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"Mad skills indeed."

**End confessional**

* * *

Jasmine then started swinging calmly. "Okay, Beth! On the count of three, jump! I've done this before, don't worry!"

Beth took a deep breath. "If you say so."

Jasmine counted slowly. "One...two...three!" She caught Beth before she could fall into the pool, and the Gophers cheered.

"Looks like that's one point for the Gophers!" Chris announced, as an intern helped Harold to the infirmary.

* * *

Sam decided to visit Dakota in the infirmary. "Hey, Dakota! How are you?"

Dakota looked up from her task of spoon-feeding Aiden. "Not great. Chris decided to get super mean for this challenge, and left Chef and me to handle the infirmary."

Sam nodded. "I noticed. Anything I can do to help?"

Dakota thought for a moment. "Actually, yeah. If you could bring me some vinegar, that would be nice. I need it to treat Harold's jellyfish stings."

Sam grinned. "Sure thing!" He then ran off to get vinegar.

Dakota turned her attention back to Aiden, and saw drool come out of his mouth. "Eww..." she shuddered.

* * *

The camera cut to a pair of toboggans leaning against a tree. "And now for the final leg!" Chris announced. "The Blind Toboggan Race!"

"Oh, this will certainly end well," Noah deadpanned.

"Each team will have a driver, and a navigator. The driver steers, while the navigator shouts directions." Chris explained. "Oh, and the driver will be blindfolded!" He then surveyed the remaining campers. "Looks like we're down a few," he laughed and scratched his chin. "Oh well. Noah and Owen, Ella and Beverly."

The two pairs looked at each other nervously.

* * *

The two teams waited at the top of the mountain. B and Owen had been chosen to steer, and Ella and Noah to navigate. "We're doing this," Owen commented. "We're making this happen." He then farted loudly, which caused the other three to gag.

"Ugh, if you're going to do that, do it while we're actually going down the mountain so we can at least get some acceleration from it!" Noah shouted. Owen chuckled at this.

"On your marks!" Chris said as he and Chef stood behind the four participants. "Get set!" He put his foot on the back of the Moose toboggan, while Chef did the same with the Gopher toboggan. He then pulled out his air horn, and as he blew the horn, both men gave the teens a push.

The music became fast-paced and hectic. "Left! Right!" Noah called out, directing Owen. The two then passed behind a tree, allowing the footage to transition to B and Ella.

"Right!" Ella called, and B leaned hard in that direction. "Watch out for that tree!" she called, and B quickly reversed direction. "And now straight forward!" B leveled off, and the toboggan accelerated down a steep slope.

Noah and Owen sledded into view, slightly behind the other two. "Hahaha! Oh yeah!" Owen laughed, leaning hard forwards. He called back to Noah, "Are we winning?" Noah shouted, "No!"

Suddenly, an explosion went off to the left of B and Ella. "What was that?" Ella fretted.

The camera cut to Chris holding a detonator, with Topher and Sierra watching him. "We had a few explosives left over," Chris explained to the camera, "and I just hate to waste." He then noticed his two super-fans. "What are you two doing?"

"Watching genius at work," Sierra said hesitantly, although the two looked slightly disturbed.

* * *

**Confessional: Sierra**

"Okay, I don't think I like this challenge. Too many people getting hurt."

**Confessional: Topher**

"I think Chris is trying to see how much he can get away with with this challenge. And as a contestant on the show, I'm a bit disturbed by that prospect."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Left!" Noah shouted, and Owen steered away from another explosion. "Right!" He looked ahead, and saw that B and Ella were successfully avoiding the explosives without slowing down much, certainly not enough for them to pass.

Owen, perhaps hearing the explosions ahead of them, asked Noah, "Are we screwed?"

Noah opened his mouth to say yes, but then an idea popped into his head. "No, we're not! On my mark, bank hard to the right! Wait for it...now!" Owen did as he was directed, and hit a slanted rock, launching the two into the air. An explosion went off behind them, giving them even more speed. As they flew through the air, Owen let out a huge fart.

They landed next to B and Ella near the finish line, and managed to cross just ahead of them. Noah and Ella, after crossing the finish line, directed their teammates in angling their toboggans sideways in order to stop.

The camera showed that Sammy and Aiden had rejoined the Gopher and Moose teams, respectively, with the former with several bandages and a crutch under her arm, and the latter in a wheelchair, still gurgling. "And the Moose are the winners of the toboggan race!" Chris announced, to the delight of the Moose team members. "And Gophers, I will see you at your fifth elimination, tonight."

* * *

The camera cut to B working on something mechanical in the arts and crafts tent, with a gutted loudspeaker on the table. Ella stood at the entrance, and asked, "May I come in?"

B glanced at her and shrugged. She took this as an invitation and sat down next to him. "What are you working on?" she asked.

He held up a device with a keyboard and started typing. A mechanical voice said, _"It's my new text-to-speech device. Dawn was effectively my voice here, with her gone, I need a new voice."_

"Then you're actually mute?" Ella asked. B nodded his head.

"I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now," she said, "given that I helped get Dawn eliminated. I know you were close."

B sighed and typed a few more sentences. _"It's not just that. It's...I have autism. High-functioning, obviously, but even so, it has caused problems for me in the past. I have a history of missing social cues that probably should be completely obvious. As a result, making friends is hard for me, especially here, considering that the game gives everyone reason to want to betray me._

_"With Dawn, it was easy. She understood me in a way that few other people ever have. When she was around, I felt like I didn't have to be scared of other people. Now she's gone, and I'm scared again."_

Ella looked at him, obviously distraught. Sparks then flew out of the text-to-speech device, and B sighed.

* * *

**Confessional: Ella**

"I wasn't prepared for how much this game can emotionally hurt people."

**End confessional**

* * *

Outside, Trent approached Zoey. "Zoey, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. "I'm trying to figure out how Gwen got eliminated. Who did you vote for?"

"I voted for Sadie," Zoey answered. "She and Katie seemed like they weren't doing much, so I flipped a coin to decide which one to vote for."

* * *

"I voted for Katie," Bridgette told Trent. "I borrowed a deck of playing cards from Harold. I shuffled them, drew one, and it was the four of clubs. I had decided beforehand that if I got a red card, I'd vote Sadie, and if I got a black card, I'd vote Katie."

* * *

"I voted Katie," Geoff told Trent. "I went down onto the beach, drew an S and a K in the sand, closed my eyes, spun around a bunch of times, and when I opened my eyes, the direction I was facing was closer to the K."

* * *

"I voted for Sadie," Sky told Trent. "I thought she would be more useless than anyone else."

* * *

"I voted for Justin," said Sierra. "Super hot guys are nothing but trouble."

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"Okay, I think I know how Gwen was voted out now. While our vote was divided, Justin, Katie, Sadie, and I'm assuming Alejandro all voted for Gwen. After all, Alejandro is Justin's friend. But why?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Cameron approached Aiden at the Dock of Shame. "Excuse me, do you have a moment?" Cameron asked.

Aiden sighed and asked, "What is it that you want?"

Cameron showed him the note that the nerds' alliance had received. "Did you write this?"

Aiden looked at it. "I couldn't possibly have written that note. You can tell by the slant that whoever wrote it did so with their right hand, and I'm left-handed."

Cameron tossed a pebble at him. Aiden caught it with his left hand. Cameron waited a few moments, then said "Thank you for your time," and walked away.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Good thing I've practiced writing with my right hand! That should throw them off for now."

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I'm not buying it. But I don't have evidence, so I can't appeal to my teammates. I'll keep a close eye on him for now."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, all of the Gophers were seated, listening to Chris. "What an exciting day!" he said. "Which loser is to be voted out today? Perhaps Hector, for his lousy knot-tying skills?" Beardo didn't meet his gaze. "Or Samey, because of her injuries?" Sammy glared at him. "Maybe Heather, for not trusting B enough to complete their challenge together?" Heather's knuckles whitened as she raised her fists. "Or—"

"Me," Ella interrupted. "It's going to be me."

"Well, we won't know that until the votes are read, will we?" asked the host.

Ella shook her head. "No, I mean I'm volunteering. I want to be eliminated."

Heather said, "Now hold on, you don't have to—"

"Yes, I do," Ella said. "When I auditioned for Total Drama, I expected that we would all be friends, we'd play a friendly game, and everything would be wonderful. But now I see that's not how Total Drama works. No matter what I do, I'm going to end up causing a level of emotional pain I wasn't prepared for. That's not the kind of game I wanted to play."

Chris shrugged. "Meh, if that's what you wanted, you should have signed up for an actual summer camp. But sure, I accept your resignation."

Ella perked up. "And before I leave, I would like to sing a song for you all!"

Chris frowned. "Wait, wha—"

A tune began to play, and Ella began her song:

_"My time on the show is finished and done,_

_But that's not to say I didn't have fun._

_I'll do my best not to cry,_

_But now is the time to say goodbye._

_I was on Total Drama, and gave it my best._

_I gave as much effort as the rest._

_Good luck to you, my friends, I want you to know,_

_I hope you have fun on this show!_

_Now try your best not to cry,_

_Because now it's time to say..._

_GOODBYE!"_

As she sang the last few lines, she danced onto the Boat of Losers, which sped away.

Beardo, who had been frowning, asked, "Okay, I'm confused. Where was the music coming from?"

Duncan looked at him, shocked. "I thought you were doing the music!"

Beardo shook his head. "Nope."

Chris frowned. "I guess we'll never know. Anyway, the rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it wasn't me. I know there was a very real chance that it would have been me if Ella hadn't volunteered to be eliminated. Still, with five-three potentially against me, I'm not in a great position right now.

"I think my best chance is to try to get Brick and Sammy on my side. It might not be easy, but I've planted the seeds. With Sammy, at least. I can handle this."

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two episodes in a row of fan favorites getting eliminated. I'm probably really unpopular right now with all of you. But unfortunately, Ella just doesn't really have the right mindset for the game, and in order to really bring out the antagonistic side of Heather, Ella had to go. I know you all were hoping I would start eliminating more guys, and I promise I will, but I couldn't really fit this one anywhere else.
> 
> Thoughts on Ella? I like her a lot, but I'm not sure I would consider her a personal favorite. I think she's a two-dimensional gimmick character, much like most of the Gen 3 cast. However, she does have an exceptionally good gimmick, so it's excusable. I'm not sure how she would have fared against the Gen 1 cast, although I know exactly how she would have fared against the Gen 2 cast (Jo would have hated her for her girlishness and perceived weakness and tried to get her voted out).
> 
> I'll be honest, Who Can You Trust is only an okay episode to me, but I did think the challenge would be perfect to demonstrate Chris's increasing sadism, given that it's one of only four potentially life-threatening challenges in season 1 (by design; Hook, Line, and Screamer doesn't count).
> 
> I'm planning on redoing some of my early chapters, so look out for those updates soon.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess


	16. Brunch of Disgustingness

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Duncan, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Justin, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode began with B, Duncan, and Beardo in the boys' cabin. B was working on his text-to-speech device, Beardo was beatboxing to himself, and Duncan was carving a skull into the cabin wall.

A thought occurred to him as he did so. "I'm glad Brick went on a morning run or something," he said. "He'd be on my case for this for sure. I mean, seriously, it's not like Chris even cares if I vandalize the cabin like this."

"He just has a lot of respect for authority," Beardo replied. "And you don't. That causes the two of you to fight a lot."

B typed on his device's keyboard. _"Some people find people who are different from them frustrating. Or maybe there's more to it than that in this case. I don't know."_

Beardo looked at the device. "Hey, you made one of those voice-box thingies!"

 _"I just finished it,"_ the device spoke in a robotic monotone.

"So this means you're actually going to talk now?" Duncan asked.

 _"Probably not that much,"_ B admitted. _"I'm not very social. But I can speak if I feel I have to now."_

"Well, that's cool," Beardo said.

* * *

The scene cut to outside the cabins, where Brick was returning from a morning run. On the way back to the cabin, he ran into Jasmine.

"Good morning, Jasmine," he greeted.

"Good morning," she replied. "How are you?"

"Not great," Brick admitted. "I've been thinking about what Dawn said at her elimination a lot. You're the team leader, maybe you can tell me. Have I been too harsh on Duncan?"

"I think so," Jasmine admitted. "I get that you like people to follow the rules. But not everyone is like you, and I think you've expected a bit too much."

Brick sighed. "Maybe I should apologize."

Jasmine nodded. "Maybe you should."

* * *

In the girls' side of the Gopher cabin, Heather and Sammy had both woken up. "Hey, I don't think we've talked much since the talent show," Heather said to Sammy.

"Not really," Sammy admitted. "Thanks for that, by the way. Oh em gee, it would have been awful if Amy was still here."

"Yeah," Heather agreed. "Sammy, do you think I'm a bad person?"

"No. I do think getting Dawn voted out like that was wrong, but I get why you did it."

Heather sighed. "Do you think the others will forgive me?"

Sammy shrugged. "Maybe."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"It's not over for me yet. Not by a long shot."

**End confessional**

* * *

Lightning assembled his team in front of the Moose cabin. "Look, I noticed most of you all ain't in great shape," he pointed out. "It's time for sha-training!"

"Training?" Cody asked. "What training?"

"Sha-strength training!" the football player announced. "With Eva and 'Joe the jerk' gone, we all gotta be in good shape. So, every day, we gonna do one hundred push-ups! One hundred sit-ups! One hundred squats! And that run 'round the lake! And we ain't using the fans in the cabins, no matter how hot we get! Soon, you all gonna be sha- _strong!"_ He poked Cameron in the arm. "Sha- _fast!_ " He poked Owen in the gut. "Sha- _tough!_ " He stepped up to Leshawna, who snapped, "Touch me and I'll break your arm off." Lightning held up both hands in a placating gesture and stepped back.

"Point is, y'all gotta get exercise," Lightning concluded. "Let's get sha-started!" He clapped his hands together and a montage began.

The montage consisted of the Moose doing all of the aforementioned exercises. Shawn and Leshawna didn't have too much trouble keeping up with Lightning on the push-ups, sit-ups, and squats, but the others were visibly struggling. And once they started on the run, Leshawna began struggling as well.

Partly through the run, Cameron collapsed from exhaustion. "Uh...Lightning?" Owen panted. "Can we...rest...for just...a moment..."

Lightning rolled his eyes. "Fine. Walk for a few minutes, then back to sha-running."

As they walked, Noah and Cody helped Cameron up and assisted him in starting walking again.

"Can we vote him out next?" Noah whispered to Cameron.

Cameron shook his head. "Unfortunately, he's right. We _do_ need to get stronger."

Cody took several gasps of air. "My brain agrees, but my muscles are protesting."

"Same here," Noah agreed. "My muscles are straight-up American Revolution level of protesting right now."

* * *

The scene shifted to the communal showers, where DJ and Sam about to shower. Vito stepped out of the shower with a towel around his waist. "Ugh, my head feels like fireworks are goin' off inside my brain. Did I have too much to drink last night?"

Sam shook his head. "You didn't have anything to drink last night, dude."

Vito held his head. "Feels like I got the worst hangover of my life."

DJ shrugged. "You probably have a migraine. Have some coffee, you'll feel better."

Vito groaned. "Thanks, dude." He dropped his towel and started putting on his pants. The two others quickly averted their eyes.

Vito then stormed out of the communal showers. "Freakin' migraine. I never get migraines! Mike never gets migraines! None of us do! The last time I got a migraine..." he trailed off, as if having a realization.

Then, he stood up straight, and his hair fell over his eye. "Heh. Party's over, Vito!" He put on his shirt, then became Mike again.

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice rang over the loudspeaker. "Report to the campfire pit for an important announcement!"

* * *

**Confessional: Unknown alternate personality of Mike's**

"Svetlana and Manitoba both fell on the free day after the trust challenge. Vito was the last. All that's left now is to wrest control from Mike, crush whoever put the Boney Island idol in my pocket, and win the five million. Then I can buy a cabin in the wilderness, a lot of weaponry, and perhaps a few attractive women to cater to my every whim. I won't ever have to return to civilization, and I can live like a king. After that? Two words. _Pyramid scheme._ "

**End confessional**

* * *

Once the campers had gathered at the campfire pit, Chris addressed them. "So, it has come to my attention that things are just beginning to get interesting, at least in terms of team politics affecting the votes. So, I have decided to make things just a little more potentially interesting."

He held up a photo of three small figurines of his head, two of which were wooden, the other gold. "These are the three Chris McLean brand immunity idols. I had our intern Charlie hide them during your free day yesterday." He indicated an intern dressed in dark green clothing, with brown hair, dark eyes, and a large scar on his left cheek.

"How they work is, if you have one and you or someone you don't want eliminated gets voted out, you can play your immunity idol, and nullify all votes for you or that player. You can also use it to break a tie, but be warned! If you choose to risk a tiebreaker and lose, you cannot play your immunity idol after losing the tiebreaker! You can, however, use it to escape elimination should we have a sudden-death elimination round, where the last person to finish the challenge is automatically eliminated. If you play it then, we will have a vote, as par usual. However, that's not a concern until the team phase ends." As Chris explained the rules of the idols, several campers grew devious looks. But Chris wasn't finished.

"However, those are just the rules for the regular immunity idols! If you play the gold immunity idol, it nullifies everyone's vote but yours! The only rule is you can't use it to eliminate someone with immunity once we start playing for individual immunity. Got to make immunity count for something." He shrugged. "Any questions?"

There were a lot of questions asked. One rather loud question asked came from Trent. "Why didn't you introduce these from the start instead of waiting?"

Chris shrugged. "I hadn't thought of them until just after the last challenge. Next question?"

Scott asked the next question. "Is the gold idol real gold?"

Chris shook his head. "No, it's plastic. Next?"

Scarlett raised her hand. "Is there a method to prevent someone making an immunity idol?" As she asked the question, she looked pointedly at Scott, who was holding a knife and a block of wood. Scott rolled his eyes.

Chris nodded. "On the base of each of them, there is a sticker, the Chris McLean Seal of Approval. You don't really have the means to make one, and even if you did, you don't know exactly what it looks like." He thought for a moment. "Sure, it could be removed, but what would be the point when you could just steal the idol?" He shrugged. "Challenge is this afternoon. Go ahead and search for the morning. Oh, and no lunch today, to prepare you for the challenge."

Owen fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"These idols provide me with an opportunity to grab a great deal of power in this game. And I'm an intellectual, so I wouldn't be surprised if I found all three of them!

**Confessional: Intern Charlie**

"I sincerely doubt it. I'm a trained ninja, and I hid them all well. It's possible someone might find more than one, but they would have to be both observant and lucky."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene showed Courtney searching furiously through the woods.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"If I can find one of these immunity idols, it won't matter whether Scarlett has a majority vote! We can just use it to get Scarlett out, and her alliance will fall apart without her."

**End confessional**

* * *

Topher also was searching for the idols, but as he did so, his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"These immunity idols seem like a twist better suited for leaving until the second season." Topher paused for a moment. His expression brightened afterward, but it seemed a bit forced. "But who am I to question Chris? He knows what he's doing, right?"

**End confessional**

* * *

While the two of them were searching, Trent and Alejandro accidentally bumped into each other. "My apologies," Alejandro said to the musician. "I did not see you there."

"Yeah, no problem," Trent said awkwardly. He avoided Alejandro's gaze.

"Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you," the charmer continued. "In case you hadn't figured it out, I voted for Gwen during the triple elimination."

Trent continued to avoid making eye contact. "Yeah, I thought so."

"I wanted to apologize," Alejandro continued. "Justin asked me to vote for her, and because I thought he was my friend, I did. But since then, I have begun to question my trust in him, because of how he has been stringing along Katie and Sadie for their votes. I thought he didn't want to vote them out then because he was interested in one of them, but he later confided in me that he found their presence insufferable, and only kept them around because they were reliable votes. I don't think I can trust him."

Trent looked at him. "So, you're saying you'll help me vote him out when we next lose?"

Alejandro nodded. "Exactly."

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"I don't know if I can trust Alejandro, but for all I know he's telling the truth. He can prove himself tonight, when we vote out Justin." He stared at the camera. "And we _will_ be voting out Justin, _tonight_."

**Confessional:** **Alejandro**

"Getting rid of Gwen was an excellent move, but I realize that even so, remaining loyal to Justin with no guarantee of a fifth vote in our corner would be dooming myself. Voting out Gwen will have a price, and I intend to ensure that he will be the one to pay it, rather than me. Still, if he has a sound plan for eliminating Trent, I may change my mind."

**End confessional**

* * *

The hunt lasted all morning, but no one found anything. Much later in the day, the campers were assembled at the Mess Hall for the challenge, with Chris, Chef, and Dakota in the center of the room, the latter holding a bucket. Chris said, "No luck? Well, you'll have all summer to try to find them. Well, not all of you will, obviously. One of you is going home tonight, and here's how we're going to find out who it's gonna be. It's time to eat!"

Owen was pleased by this news. "Yay!"

"Today's challenge is the Brunch of Disgustingness. You'll all have to eat various gross foods, and I use the term lightly, and you'll have to eat each course in thirty seconds. Puke, or fail to finish, and you're out. Last person standing wins it for their team. Don't worry, you'll get breaks in between for water and to catch your breath."

"Tell them what they'll get if they win, Chris!" Dakota said, imitating a game show host.

"The winning team spends two days at a five-star resort, where they'll be pampered, eat gourmet food, and be treated with antibiotics for anything they may have caught while participating in this challenge! The three losing teams will go hungry tonight. And stay here, on Total Drama Island. With Chef." He pointed to the cook, who smiled and waved creepily.

* * *

**Confessional: Dakota**

"Disclaimer: I've worked with Chef for a while at this point, and he's actually a pretty decent guy, not a creep at all. Unlike the guy he works for."

**End confessional**

* * *

The four teams all looked eager to win the prize offered. "Guys, we have to win now," Heather said unnecessarily.

* * *

**Confessional: Owen**

"This is the challenge I've been waiting for!"

**Confessional: Sam**

"I got banned from all the Barney's Buffets within a thirty mile radius of my house for a reason. I got this."

**Confessional: Geoff**

"Man, I wish my best bud Brody was here. He's, like, a human garbage disposal. But I guess I'm no slouch when it comes to eating gross stuff either."

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"I was afraid of a challenge like this. My body is my temple, and no temple keeper would dare contaminate this." He took his shirt off, and flexed his muscles. He then shuddered. "I am reminded of all the times my brother Josè would force me to eat the most horrible things."

**End confessional**

* * *

"What you call a challenge, I call lunch! Now bring it!" Scott shouted.

"Oh, you wanna play that game? I've eaten gunk that tasted like the inside of a dumpster, and gone back for seconds!" Duncan responded.

Lightning felt the need to get in on the trash talk as well. "Yeah? Well, you guys probably ain't ever had protein powder on cinnamon rolls. I got this."

"Let's begin the challenge," Chris said. "First, some _hors d'oeuvres._ " Chef, Dakota, and several other interns handed out plates containing oblong meatballs.

"Meatballs?" Mike asked, a bit confused.

"Technically you are correct, Mike," the host replied. "But these meatballs are kinda...special."

"It's Beef Testicles Bourguignon," Chef explained. Several of the male campers paled.

"I'll give you a minute to get used to the idea," Chris said. "I know this has got to be hard."

The camera zoomed in on the Badgers. "Even Josè would not force me to eat this," Alejandro commented.

"I can't do this," Bridgette said. "I'm a vegetarian. I can't eat meat."

"It's okay," Geoff offered. "Sometimes they castrate bulls for medical reasons. Don't they?"

"I guess," Bridgette said. "But meat usually gives me really bad stomach pain."

"You can do it," Sky encouraged from her other side. "It'll be worth it once we get to the resort."

"AND...BEGIN!" Chris shouted. Sky, realizing that some of her teammates were unlikely to eat their meatballs, quickly ate hers. Zoey and Sierra both started eating as well, and with great difficulty, Geoff, Bridgette, and Justin all managed to finish theirs briefly before the timer. Trent and Alejandro refused to take a bite, and Katie and Sadie failed to finish before the timer elapsed.

At the Moose table, Leshawna ate hers with no hesitation. Shawn also ate his meatball, somehow unaffected by the disgust many of the boys were feeling. When he finished, he said, "Overcooked and too salty." He noticed he was getting some strange looks, and shrugged. "What?"

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"In a zombie apocalypse, you can't afford to be picky. You have to take what you can get."

**End confessional**

* * *

Owen then managed to finish his meatball. Lightning also managed to choke his down, and after he had finished, said, "There sha-better be a lot of protein in that." Aiden also forced his down his throat. Noah tried to eat his, but teared up and couldn't finish. The other three nerds simply pushed away their plates.

At the Bass table, Courtney was the first to finish hers, with Scarlett right behind her. Scott managed to get his down, and Lindsay succeeded in eating hers. Sam closed his eyes and said to himself, "It's just a pellet. I am PAC-Man, and this is a pellet." He finished only seconds before the timer ran out. Tyler, DJ, and Mike all failed to eat theirs before the timer elapsed, and Topher didn't even look at his.

At the Gopher table, Beardo ended up being the first to finish. He made a vacuum cleaner noise, then ate the entire thing in two bites. Jasmine finished second; she shrugged and said, "Meh, I've had worse." Beth finished hers next, followed by Heather. Brick managed to finish his as well. Duncan simply picked at his, B stared at his but didn't move a muscle, and Sammy managed to get halfway through before the time limit elapsed.

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"I can handle gross food, but this is just cruel."

**End confessional**

* * *

"No pukers on the first round!" Chris announced. "I'm impressed! But that won't be the case for this one. Dumpster pizza, anybody? It's exactly what it sounds like. Oh, yeah, Katie, Sadie, Noah, DJ, Alejandro, Harold, Trent, Tyler, Duncan, Topher, Cameron, Bridgette, Samey, Mike, Cody, and B are all out. Honestly, I was expecting a lot more from that last one." B, and several other campers, glared at him.

* * *

**Confessional: B**

_"This,"_ B slapped his stomach, _"is mostly muscle. Chris knows that."_

**End confessional**

* * *

The interns passed out pizza topped with green sludge and bits of garbage to the remaining campers. "What a waste of good pizza!" Beardo exclaimed, and he imitated a piano playing the Funeral March by Chopin.

"No, I am _not_ eating this," Justin said. "Bourguignon is one thing, but this is covered in grease, and grease causes acne."

"You'd better eat it," Sierra said.

Justin crossed his arms. "No. My looks are too valuable to subject to that kind of risk. If you saw my parents' IVF bill, you'd understand."

"And...GO!" Chris shouted. At the signal, everyone started eating. Well, everyone except Justin. Geoff was the first to finish his garbage-covered pizza, followed by Sky, then Sierra, and finally Zoey. Zoey puked in her mouth, but swallowed it before any could escape.

At the Moose table, Owen practically inhaled his slice. Shawn finished his slice second, followed by Lightning. Leshawna took a bite of her pizza, then puked—all over Aiden, which caused him to puke out his slice as well.

At the Bass table, Scott wolfed his pizza down. Courtney finished hers second, followed by Sam. Lindsay tried to eat hers, but ended up vomiting it up. Scarlett, seeing this, decided not to even try.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I've been dumpster diving for meals more times than I care to admit. I can usually find something better than that, but I've at least had some kind of practice."

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"Something like bourguignon isn't too difficult for me to eat, even if cooked badly. But garbage...the prize is not worth the battle."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Gopher table, somehow all five remaining campers managed to eat the pizza; first Beth, then Heather, then Jasmine, then Beardo, then finally Brick.

"Hmm. I'm impressed that so many of you managed to eat that," said Chris. "Lindsay, Justin, Leshawna, Scarlett, and Aiden are out. Up next, we have a Middle Eastern delicacy. Roasted sheep eyeballs!"

The interns placed plates in front of the remaining contestants, each containing two eyeballs. Sierra puked at the sight of them.

"And Sierra is out before we even start!" Chris announced. "Ready...GO!"

At the Badger table, Geoff looked at the eyeballs. He shut his eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and ate the sheep eyeballs. He chewed, swallowed, and said, "Not actually that bad." Sky also ate the eyeballs, but Zoey didn't touch them.

* * *

**Confessional: Zoey**

"Okay, I have...a _thing_ about eyes getting hurt. I just can't handle it."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Moose table, Owen and Shawn both managed to eat the eyeballs. Lightning, however, couldn't handle it. He saw Owen impale one on his fork, and then ran away screaming. He tried to cover his eyes, but once he bumped into an empty chair, he gave up and uncovered them.

At the Bass table, Sam repeated to himself, "PAC-Man. PAC-Man." He ate the eyeballs, but instantly started puking them out. Scott and Courtney both managed to keep theirs down.

At the Gopher table, Heather was the first to finish her plate, followed by Jasmine. Beth took off her glasses, put them in her pocket, then ate hers as well.

* * *

**Confessional: Beth**

"I'm farsighted, not nearsighted. So once a blur was all I could see, it wasn't so hard."

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick, however, simply couldn't bear to look at his meal. "I can't do it," he said.

"I feel you, dude," Beardo said. "Food ain't supposed to look at you." The two declined to finish their meal.

"Brick, Zoey, Hector, Sam, Lightning, and the aforementioned Sierra are all out!" Chris announced once the timer went off. "Up next, we have blueberries, covered in a mixture of mayonnaise and ketchup. Oh, and you have fifteen seconds to eat this one, not thirty." The interns passed around bowls of mayonnaise-and-ketchup-covered blueberries that were a respectable size.

Scott stared at the bowl, looking worried.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Okay, gross food I can handle, but eating fast? Not really my strongest point."

**End confessional**

* * *

The remaining campers dug in quickly. Owen, Shawn, Sky, Beth, and Courtney all finished within the allotted time, in that order. Scott, Jasmine, and Heather each failed to eat their berries in time, and Geoff might have made it if not for having dropped several berries on the floor.

"And now we're down to five!" Chris announced. "Chef, bring out their last meal."

"You don't have to make it sound like they're gonna die," commented DJ. Chris simply grinned.

The five remaining campers all were moved to one table. Each one had a plate containing a pepper and a large glass of milk placed in front of them.

"A pepper?" Beth asked.

"Not just any pepper!" Chris announced. "That's a _B_ _hut jolokia_ , or Ghost Pepper, one of the hottest peppers on the planet! You will each eat the pepper."

* * *

**Confessional: Owen**

"Okay, I'm not really that good with spicy food, honestly. Gross food I can handle, but spicy...not so much."

**End confessional**

* * *

"The winner will be the one who can eat the pepper and go the longest without drinking from the glass of milk in front of them. Ready? 3...2...1...GO!"

None of the five remaining campers hesitated to shove the pepper in their mouth. About ten seconds in, Shawn was the first to crack.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Okay, that pepper is EVIL!" He thought for a moment. "Do you think there might be a way to weaponize it against zombies?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The camera showed the faces of the four remaining campers. Their faces were all red and they were sweating profusely. Owen tugged at his shirt collar. Beth was breathing heavily through her mouth. Courtney's eyes were watering and she reached for the milk...

Only to be beaten to it by Sky. She downed her glass a second before Courtney followed suit. Owen managed to hold out a few more seconds before gulping down his glass of milk and running for the communal washrooms. A few seconds later, a shatteringly loud fart noise was heard.

"And Beth wins it for her team!" Chris announced, as Beth drank from her glass of milk. "That means the Gophers will be spending the next two days in luxury. Too bad we didn't get to serve the French Bunion soup, but it is what it is. Badgers, I will see you at elimination."

As the Gophers headed to the dock to depart for their spa trip, Brick tapped Duncan on the shoulder. "Hey, can I talk to you?" he asked.

Duncan frowned at him. "About what? You going to chastise me for not eating the beef testes?"

Brick didn't meet his gaze. "Actually, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. I've been too hard on you lately. Sure, you annoy me, and we don't work well together, but I shouldn't have tried to get you eliminated during the triple elimination."

Duncan shrugged. "Apology accepted, I guess."

* * *

Justin approached Alejandro after the teams left the Mess Hall. "Are you on board with getting rid of Trent?"

Alejandro nodded. "Of course. Any ideas for how we can do that?"

Justin told him, "I was thinking we would get Zoey and Sky to vote with us. They're both relatively alone on the team, so they'll be easier to convince."

Alejandro put his hand to his chin. "In that case, I should be the one to convince Zoey. She was closer to Gwen than Sky."

Justin shrugged. "If you say so." The two then parted, and Alejandro located Trent. "Are we prepared to eliminate _el modelo?"_

"I talked to the others, and we should have a 7-3 vote against him," Trent said.

" _Muy bueno_ ," said the charmer. "Once again, I must beg your forgiveness. My decision to vote for Gwen was an exceedingly poor one, and I wish to show my regret."

* * *

Justin approached Sky. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sky shrugged. "Sure."

Justin said, "I'd like to talk to you about voting out Trent."

Sky stared at him. "Why?"

Justin shrugged. "He's kind of a big threat, y'know? Everyone likes him, and he's good in challenges. He could be dangerous later on."

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"I'm still not completely trusting of Alejandro, but more than anything else, I just want Justin _gone_. If Alejandro is willing to help with that, I'll give him one more chance."

**Confessional: Sky**

"Yeah, I'm _not_ voting for Trent. Justin has a point about him being a threat, but by his estimation, so am I. I trust Trent more than I trust Justin."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris held up his plate of marshmallows. "I have on my plate nine marshmallows. If you do not receive a marshmallow, you must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and never come back. _Ever_. The first marshmallow goes to...Sky! Geoff, Zoey, Sierra, Katie and Sadie, Bridgette [who was clutching her stomach, a pained expression on her face], a-and, Alejandro."

"Trent, you're a potential threat and you couldn't even get through the first round, and Justin, you're dead weight and Trent hates you." The two glared at each other.

"By a 7-3 vote, the final marshmallow goes to..."

" _Trent._ "

Justin gasped. He looked at Katie and Sadie, who he saw were as confused as he was. He looked at Sky, who gave him an icy stare. Then he looked at Alejandro, who wouldn't look him in the eye. "Alejandro? How could you betray me like this?"

Alejandro continued to avoid his gaze. "I am sorry, but I just don't trust you any more."

Justin glared at him. "Fine. Vote me out—see if I care. I just want you to realize that this show just lost its best-looking contestant." Alejandro winced slightly at that.

He then stormed down the Dock of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers, which sped away.

Chris looked at the nine remaining Badgers. "The rest of you are safe.

" _For tonight._ "

* * *

Later that night, in the Bass cabin, a shadowed figure reached under Sam's bunk and pulled out a few handheld game consoles. Whistling a creepy tune, the figure smashed them with a rock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about Total Drama Redux: 52: it was actually originally planned to be a Shuffled AU. I eventually changed the plan because Shuffled AUs are rather common and I wanted to do something different. I've encountered two or three stories with a similar premise to mine, but I mostly thought they weren't very good. This way, I don't have to compete with people who are better writers than me, like AndrewNotCarranza or Checkmate King.
> 
> I bring this up because my original plan for Justin was to have him as the main antagonist of All-Stars. He would have attempted to play that role in the first three seasons, but would have been eliminated pre-merge in Island after Scott framed him for his challenge-throwing, post-merge in Action after a falling-out with Heather and Dave, and disqualified in fourth place of World Tour after attempting to betray Mal but accidentally blowing up the plane. He would have caused a fair amount of trouble in All-Stars (including framing Duncan for blowing up Chris's mansion, stealing the immunity idol from Courtney and using it to eliminate Sky, and using Fang to try to sabotage Jasmine multiple times).
> 
> Obviously, that would have been impossible for this story. I still tried to make him more competent than he was in canon, but he's still no Alejandro. It seemed inevitable that Alejandro would betray him, it was just a question of when.
> 
> Thoughts on Justin? Worst Gen 1 contestant, hands down. As a villain, he's little more than a whiny brat. His entire tactical game is based around one trick (even Sugar had more tricks up her sleeve), and his long-term strategy leaves much to be desired. He's not quite as incompetent of an antagonist as Jo, but he's pretty darn close.
> 
> I like Brunch of Disgustingness, don't love it, but it's a solid episode as non-elimination challenges go. It just wouldn't be Total Drama if there wasn't at least one eating challenge that causes people to puke, so I included a heavily abridged version. I abridged it so much because all the picky eaters ended up on the Badgers, and I didn't want to telegraph their loss too much.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy


	17. Saving Private Leechball

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Duncan, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Cody, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the dock as the Gophers returned from their spa trip. "Oh em gee, that was such an awesome trip!" Sammy squealed.

"Worst part of it was that we have to return to this dump," Duncan said.

"I even got my braces removed!" Beth squealed, her braces noticeably absent. "My mouth hasn't felt this good in forever!"

"I can't even remember the last time my feet were actually _clean,_ " Brick said, looking at his boots.

"And my hair is cleaner than it's ever been," Beardo added, running his fingers through his afro. "Do you think it would look better tied back, like, in a ponytail? Or would that be hipster-ific?"

"Hipster-ific," Jasmine answered. "Anyway, good work, Beth. I think that break was what we all needed."

"I'll say," replied Heather. She gave Beth a thumbs-up.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"And now, back to idol hunting. I've already missed two days of it, so we need to catch up."

**End confessional**

* * *

Scarlett, Topher, and Mike were searching through the woods. "...And none of the other actors even projected, so no one in the back of the theater could even hear them!" Topher said to Mike, finishing up a story. "Thank goodness I don't go to that school anymore, because that drama club was a nightmare."

"I didn't know you did stage acting," Mike said.

"I'm not as serious about it as you, but it's good practice for a career in TV," Topher replied. "So, what got you into Broadway?"

"Well, after...a rather dark point in my life, my counselor gave me a ticket to see _Les_ _Miserables_ for my birthday. And I fell in love. I loved the story so much that I wanted nothing more than to be on that stage. I started taking acting classes, and singing lessons. I performed in plays, and I watched Broadway shows whenever I could. I've seen so many, but _Les Miserables_ has always been my favorite." Mike told Topher. "What got you into hosting shows?"

"Well, my dad..." Topher began, but was cut off by Scarlett. "I hate to interrupt your life story, I'm sure it's quite fascinating. However, we are searching for the immunity idols at the moment. You can socialize later."

Mike thought for a moment. "Maybe Manitoba could help. Do you still have that fedora?"

Scarlett handed him the fedora, and he put it on. "Mr. Smith? Is that you?" Scarlett asked.

Mike shook his head. "Nope, still me. Funny, that usually brings him out. I don't know why it wouldn't."

Topher looked at him. "Does that mean the other three aren't coming out either?"

Mike frowned. He then took off his shirt. "Vito?" He kicked a boulder and stubbed his toe. "Chester? What's going on? This hasn't happened since..." He then started heading back to camp.

"Where are you going?" Scarlett asked.

"Back to camp. There's something I need to do," replied Mike.

* * *

When Mike got back to camp, he headed immediately for the dumpster behind the Mess Hall. He reached underneath it and pulled out the cursed tiki doll. He then speed walked to the confessional.

* * *

**Confessional: Mike**

"Okay, I'm beginning to get worried. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but in case I'm not, there's something I need to tell the producers. There's...something I haven't actually told anyone."

He took a deep breath, then tried to be as calm as possible as he spoke. "I...have a fifth alternate personality. Technically, he was my first alter. He was formed when I was twelve, after I was injured in a car wreck. His name was...is Mal.

"I survived the wreck with just a concussion and a few broken bones, but my little sister died. She and I were close, and I'm still not sure whether it was my injuries or hearing that she had died that gave me MPD.

"Originally, he was like a protector. But over time, he seemed to decide that the only way to keep me safe was for him to have full control, both over me and his surroundings. He saw monsters everywhere, until he became one. He eventually suppressed me and my other personalities so he could be in control, and it took an entire year for me to get enough control back to suppress him."

Mike then began to panic. "Chris, producers, if Mal has come back, you need to get me off this island and into a mental institution! If he's back and you don't, it's only a matter of time before he decides to kill everyone here! You have to...no! NO!"

He bent over and clutched his head, as if in severe pain, then straightened and revealed that his hair was once again covering his eye. "I'm ba-ack!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Mal exited the confessional, then swept his hair up to imitate Mike's hairstyle. Topher and Scarlett then walked up to him.

"What happened? You left in a hurry," Topher said.

"Oh, I...had to use the bathroom," "Mike" said.

"What's that in your hand?" Scarlett asked.

"Oh, uh, a souvenir...from when I went to Hawaii," he said, and held up the Boney Island statue. "I carry it around for luck."

"Ah," Scarlett nodded. "Well, it's nearly lunch time. We can take a break to eat, then we should get back to searching."

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"I know that wasn't true. The tiki statuette Mike had was clearly not of Hawaiian design. But honestly, I don't care where it came from. It is irrelevant to the competition and therefore irrelevant to me." She frowned. "Still, Mike's unusual behavior could be significant. I'll have to talk to him."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the Mess Hall, the Moose team was eating lunch. Lightning was telling a football story, oblivious to the fact that only Owen was listening. Shawn and Cameron were discussing the best ways to survive a zombie apocalypse. Cody and Harold were discussing a video game, Noah was reading a book, and Aiden was eating in silence. Chef walked out of the kitchen holding a plate of food, and was about to place it in front of Leshawna, when he saw something in the food. He pulled a folded piece of paper out of it, unfolded it, and read it. His eyes popped briefly, then he handed it to Leshawna, who read it and blushed. The camera shifted to show that Harold was intently watching Leshawna's reaction.

* * *

**Confessional: Harold**

"I've been discretely giving Leshawna love notes now and then ever since Jo's elimination. I haven't signed them, though, so she doesn't know they're from me. I know she likes them, but I'm nervous to tell her that they're from me because...well, I know I'm awesome, but girls don't really seem to see it that way."

**End confessional**

* * *

Not too much time later, Chris had assembled the campers at the campfire pit. "Today's challenge is a time-honored classic!" he announced. "Paintball!"

Duncan looked at him sidelong. "Didn't we already do this challenge?"

"No, that was laser tag," Chris said. "And it was a Capture the Flag challenge. This is purely a last-team-standing sort of challenge."

Duncan replied, "Still seems like you're reusing ideas. You'd think you wouldn't have to do that in the first season, but—"

"Moving on!" Chris shouted. "Now, just to make things more interesting, instead of paintballs, you'll be using leeches!" This elicited some rather adverse reactions from the campers.

"Fitting that you would want to put your family in the show," Noah commented. Owen laughed at his barb. Chris frowned at him.

The interns handed out paintball guns, high-quality ones for the Gophers, more basic ones for the other three teams. "As a reward for winning the last challenge, the Gophers get automatic weapons," Chris explained. They also handed out a few buckets of leeches to use as ammunition.

"Oh, look at them! Aren't they cute?" Sierra said, holding up a leech.

"You would think so, considering that you're practically one of them," Topher said.

Sierra spoke to the leech as one would speak to a baby. "Aww, don't listen to Topher, he's just a big meanie."

Cody had taken a few steps toward Sierra before the leeches were handed out, but upon seeing this, he returned to his team.

* * *

**Confessional: Cody**

"Okay, I was going to try to flirt with her, but on second thought...nah. I'd rather not be in a relationship with someone that unstable."

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris then handed out four maps, one to each team. "Here are your starting locations. Let's move!"

* * *

At the Gophers' starting location, the team saw a cannon. "Looks like Chris decided to give us a secret weapon," Beardo commented.

"I'll take the cannon!" both Heather and Duncan called. They then looked at each other angrily. "No, I'll take the cannon!"

"We use it as a team, right?" Brick asked Jasmine.

Jasmine looked thoughtfully at it. "We should leave the cannon. It's too slow to be useful, and it'll just force us to stick together, which I don't recommend doing. I think it would be best if we split up. We'll make less noise, won't be as easy to spot, and won't be as likely to get distracted if we do."

Duncan looked sadly at the cannon. "Man, I really wanted to fire this thing. Oh well." With that, the Gophers started walking in separate directions.

Brick walked up to Sammy. "Is it okay if I go with you? I'd feel better out there if I had someone watching my back."

Sammy thought for a moment. "Okay, as long as we don't make noise or get distracted."

* * *

At the Bass starting point, the team took a moment to strategize. "So, smart girl, do we stick together or split up?" Scott asked Scarlett.

Scarlett thought for a moment. "Both have their advantages. We can move faster and cover more ground if we split up, but a group can defend itself more easily than an individual."

DJ ventured, "So...pairs?"

Scarlett shrugged. "Pairs could be efficient. However, we have an odd number of persons on this team."

"Mike" put his hand to his chin. "Can I see that fedora again, Scarlett?"

Scarlett handed the fedora to him, and he put it on. Underneath the hat, his hair slicked back, and his eyes narrowed. "G'day, mates! What're we doing?"

Topher looked at him. "I thought Mike's personalities weren't coming out."

"Manitoba" shrugged. "Just a fluke, mate. Guess Mike just needed some lunch."

Scarlett shrugged. "We're playing leech paintball."

* * *

**Confessional: Mal**

"I have the abilities of all of Mike's personalities, so impersonating them is easy. Now I just have to ditch my so-called 'team,' then I can really start causing trouble."

**End confessional**

* * *

Mal, still pretending to be Manitoba, said, "Well, I'm off now. You just stay out of my way, mates." He then started walking away, only to be stopped by Scarlett. "Just a moment. We're working in pairs, and I want to go with you."

Mal shook his head. "You'd just slow me down, sheila."

Scarlett stared at him. "I have something I need to discuss with Mike. In private." As she spoke, she surreptitiously brushed her hand against the pocket containing the Boney Island statue.

Mal's eyes narrowed, and he pursed his lips. "Mike does like redheads." He paused for about a second. "Okay. But try to keep up."

DJ said, "Okay then. So, Lindsay and Tyler can go with me, Topher with Sam, and Scott with Courtney. Okay?"

The others agreed to this, and started splitting up.

* * *

At the Moose starting point, Cameron took a moment to try to strategize with his team. "I think we should split up into pairs for this challenge. Shawn...and he's already gone," he finished, as he saw the conspiracy theorist had already disappeared into the trees.

Cody shrugged. "He can handle himself."

Cameron nodded. "Probably. I was going to suggest we just let him go off on his own anyway. As for the rest of us, we should partner up."

Owen was the first to offer a suggestion. "Hey, Noah? Why don't we partner up? We made a pretty good team in the sled race."

Noah shrugged. "Fine with me." The two of them walked away in one direction.

Harold then asked Leshawna, "Would you like to partner up with me?"

Leshawna shrugged. "Sure." The two of them then walked in the opposite direction.

* * *

**Confessional: Harold**

"Yes! Now I can impress the lovely Leshawna with my paintball skills!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Cody looked at Cameron. "Let's go together. I don't think either of us could keep up with Lightning."

Lightning looked at him. "Sha-xactly." Then he looked at Aiden. "But I don't think you could either, skinny." Aiden simply shrugged and rolled his eyes.

* * *

At the Badgers' starting point, there wasn't much discussion. Sky simply suggested, "We should split up. We'll cover more ground, and be less noticeable."

Sadie didn't like this suggestion. "I can't go without Katie!"

Neither did Katie. "And I can't go without Sadie!"

Sky sighed in annoyance. "Fine. Just...you two go together, and the rest of us will split up."

* * *

Topher looked back at Sam, who was groaning and dragging his feet. "What's wrong?"

Sam replied, "Some jerkwad smashed all my video game consoles the night before last. I haven't played a video game in thirty-nine hours, forty-seven minutes, and fourteen seconds, and I'm going through withdrawl something fierce." He looked up at Topher, who looked pixelated. "You look...kinda strange right now."

Topher's eyes widened. "What? What's wrong? Is it my hair? I knew I should have used more hair gel, but I have to ration it! Otherwise, I'll run out, and I can't be on TV without hair gel!"

Sam shook his head. "No, it's not that."

Topher sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

Sam continued, "It's just..." The camera showed his POV, with a crosshairs in the center of his vision, and a health bar and ammo counter at the bottom. "Heh. First person shooter. Groovy."

Topher gave him a weird look.

* * *

Katie and Sadie were walking through the forest. "It's, like, totally not fair what Justin did to Trent," Katie said.

"Totally not fair," Sadie agreed. She hesitated. "I mean, I'd still go out with him."

"Obviously!" Katie said. "He was the hottest guy on this island."

"Second hottest," Sadie corrected. "Alejandro was the hottest guy on the island. Still is."

"No, he wasn't," Katie disagreed. "Justin was the hottest, followed by Alejandro, Topher, Trent, Mike-" she was cut off by the two of them being shot with leeches.

Noah stepped out from the trees, followed by Owen. "And so the mutual destinies of the hunters and their quarries are fulfilled," Owen said.

"Maybe if you hadn't been so busy talking about boys, you would have noticed the ones about to shoot you," Noah said. Then he thought for a moment. "I hope no one ends up taking that line out of context."

"And Katie and Sadie are out!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker.

* * *

Trent was shaking as he tiptoed through the woods. He pulled a rabbit's foot out of his pocket, and tapped it against his forehead, counting the taps as he did so. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine." He then heard a rustle of leaves a few feet away, and dashed toward it. He pointed his leechball gun at the source of the rustling, and was about to fire, when he saw that it was Bridgette. "Oh, sorry," he apologized. "Thought you were someone else."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't shoot me, then," she said.

"Yeah," Trent agreed. "Are you feeling a bit on edge from this challenge, or is it just me?"

"It's not that bad," Bridgette said.

Trent shrugged. "I guess. I'm just feeling kinda tense right now. Someone cut my guitar strings last night, and I don't know who did it."

* * *

**Confessional: Mal**

"My, my, my, haven't I been busy!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"If you're having trouble, maybe I should stick with you," Bridgette offered.

"I'd appreciate it," Trent replied.

* * *

After they had put some distance between themselves and their teammates, Scarlett addressed Mal. "Okay, we're alone now. Tell me the truth. You're not really Manitoba, are you?"

Mal looked at her. "Perceptive." He raised his fist. "You had better not tell anyone, or..."

Scarlett cut him off. "No worries. I have no intention of telling anyone. Your secret is safe with me. So, tell me, who are you really?"

Mal scowled. "I'm Mike's protector. You can call me Mal."

Scarlett asked, "Protector?"

Mal tapped his forehead. "He's safe and sound, right up here. And he will remain so, as long as I'm in control."

Scarlett shrugged. "Well, it's not like it matters to me. I just want to make sure we're still voting together."

Mal shrugged. "Sure. Now, we should part ways."

* * *

**Confessional: Mal**

"Yes, I'll vote with Scarlett at our next elimination to ensure a majority vote. But after that, it might serve my interests to get rid of her. Or it might not. I'll keep my options open."

**End confessional**

* * *

DJ, Lindsay, and Tyler were walking together, and DJ was talking. "So, I had Scott and Courtney pair up so they could get some one-on-one time. They're both fierce, ambitious, ruthlessly determined..."

"Aw, yeah, they'd be adorable together," Lindsay agreed. "Even though Scooter's clothes aren't adorable at all."

Tyler looked at him. "I don't know what 'ruthlessly' means. What does 'ruthlessly' mean?"

DJ answered, "Lacking compassion."

Tyler's eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Like Rocky Bleier!"

DJ nodded. "Exactly like Rocky Bleier."

Lindsay frowned. "Who's Rocket Bly?"

Tyler said, "Only one of the greatest football players ever!"

DJ said, "He made the deciding catch in the Super Bowl _with shrapnel in his leg._ "

Tyler grinned. "My dad has every Super Bowl on DVD. That one was awesome."

Lindsay decided to change the subject. "Is there any girl here you like, DJ?"

DJ shook his head. "Nope, no girl."

"Do you have a girlfriend at home?"

DJ again said, "No, I don't. Hey, weren't we supposed to be hunting the other teams?"

Tyler said, "We can hunt and talk at the same time, right?"

Lindsay explained, "It means he doesn't want to talk about it."

Tyler asked, "Why not?"

Suddenly, a blast of leeches came from the bushes to the group's left. Amazingly, Tyler managed to be hit by all of them, and his two teammates returned fire. B dashed out from behind a tree, having been quick enough to avoid the leeches, and fired again. He fired an automatic stream at DJ and Lindsay, who returned fire. All of the shots hit their marks this time.

Over the loudspeaker, Chris announced, "And Tyler, DJ, Lindsay, and Beverly are out! I should probably warn you not to get distracted!"

* * *

Scott and Courtney were slinking along, clearly being much more careful than their teammates. "So, any luck with Topher?" Courtney asked quietly.

"I'm not sure," Scott conceded. "Topher is pretty good at not giving anything away. I think I planted some doubt in his mind, but I don't know whether he'll vote with us. I've discussed it with him a few times, but I can't afford to come on too strong."

"So, what you're saying is that we really need one of those immunity idols," Courtney ventured.

"Yeah, we need to search, and we need DJ and Sam to keep searching too. We've been lucky so far, but we can't avoid elimination forever."

Suddenly, the two of them heard the crunch of a pinecone being stepped on. Acting on instinct, they ducked in time to avoid being hit by a pair of leeches. They quickly found their attackers, took aim, and managed to hit their targets. "And Cody and Cameron are out!" came Chris's voice on the intercom.

Cody sagged his shoulders. "Dang, I really thought we had you." He then perked up and looked at Courtney. "But you can have me, if you want."

Courtney said, "No thanks. I'm actually into rugged, masculine guys, so I'll pass."

Cody returned to sagging his shoulders upon hearing this. "Like your friend?"

Courtney looked at Scott. She tilted her head slightly and gave a small nod when he wasn't looking.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"Yeah, I do think Scott is kinda hot. But I'm not telling him that. He likes messing with people."

**End confessional**

* * *

Lightning was running through the woods. He eventually had to pause to let his teammate catch up with him. "Man, why you so sha-slow?"

Aiden responded as he caught his breath, "I am...an...intellectual...I...don't run..."

Lightning rolled his eyes. "Sha-duh, you don't! You gotta eat more protein!"

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Lightning's intelligence is comparable to that of the average cheeseburger."

**End confessional**

* * *

Suddenly, Lightning was hit by a leech. Another was fired at Aiden, but the "intellectual" dodged behind Lightning and used the football player as a shield against leeches. He fired at the source of leeches, which happened to be Geoff. After he hit the surfer, Chris announced, "Lightning and Geoff are out!"

"Did you sha-have to do that?" Lightning asked.

"Just helping us win," Aiden replied. Lightning huffed, but said nothing.

* * *

"What's with that counting thing you do?" Bridgette asked Trent.

"Oh, well, I have mild OCD, and it's just something I do when I'm scared or stressed." Trent replied.

"I don't think I've ever seen you do that before," Bridgette said.

"That's because I was always calm when Gwen was around," Trent replied. "And I didn't really participate in the trust challenge-thank you, by the way-and the last challenge wasn't a really stressful challenge, plus my guitar strings..."

Suddenly, Trent and Bridgette heard a voice from the other side of some bushes. They crept up to the bush, then fired over it. Then they saw that the voice had been Izzy's, and she had caught the leeches they had fired at her. "Oh, thanks for giving me lunch! I thought I was going to have to find something to eat myself," Izzy said.

Trent and Bridgette gave her weird looks. "O...kay," Trent responded nervously, not sure what to say.

"You look nervous. Here, have some milk," Izzy said as she offered Trent a glass of milk. The glass had clearly been stolen from the Mess Hall.

Trent took a sip, then looked at it. "Tastes funny."

Izzy frowned. "Really? I swear, it's impossible to find good quality bear milk nowadays."

Trent did a spit-take.

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"What is wrong with that girl?!" He tapped his rabbit's foot against his head. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine."

**End confessional**

* * *

Sky was sneaking through the woods, when she happened to catch sight of Scarlett. Before Scarlett noticed her, she took aim and fired. The leech hit Scarlett before she could react.

However, before Sky or Scarlett could really acknowledge the attack, Mal dumped a bucket of leeches on Sky from the tree branches above her. As he did so, he whistled his signature tune.

"And Scarlett and Sky are out!" Chris announced. "Sheesh, Mike, overkill much?"

* * *

Topher and Sam were searching for someone to target when Sam caught sight of Alejandro. "Target acquired!" he shouted, and he chased after the charmer. Topher went to do the same, before seeing a flash of purple in the opposite direction. He ducked just in time to avoid a leech. He shouted, "Big mistake, Sierra!" Sierra started running in the opposite direction, and Topher ran after her, both occasionally taking shots at each other.

* * *

Noah and Owen were in a concealed position, within the leaves of a tree. They sighted Brick and Sammy only a short distance away from the tree, and Owen whispered, "Once more, the hunters prepare to conclude their hunt as all successful hunts end..." as the two of them took aim.

However, their cover was ruined by a loud fart from Owen, and both he and Noah quickly took their shots and fell out of the tree to avoid the leeches that flew at the tree in response.

In their haste to shoot first, Noah and Owen had both shot at the same target: Sammy. Brick saw the leeches flying towards her and shielded her with his body, causing the leeches to hit him instead. Before Noah and Owen could fire another shot, Sammy took them both out.

"And Brick, Owen, and Noah are out!" the host's voice announced.

"Thanks, but you really didn't have to do that," Sammy told Brick.

"Heh, it was...an instinctive reaction," Brick replied, rather awkwardly.

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"Don't get me wrong, I think Sammy is stronger than she looks, and I find that attractive. But I wish she'd let me do things for her." He rubbed his arm. "Maybe I should just tell her how I feel."

**End confessional**

* * *

Owen saluted Sammy, saying, "And thus the hunter is left with no choice but to acknowledge the superior hunter, as proven by the most pure and sacred ritual: the hunt."

Suddenly, a leech hit Sammy in the back. "Sorry!" came Zoey's voice.

"And Samey is out!" came the host's voice.

"And the superior hunter is felled by a surprise attack," Noah commented. "But is that not the way of the world?"

* * *

Heather grumbled as she slunk towards the Mess Hall. "Stupid forest. I've been out there for two hours, and nothing happened." She turned a corner and walked right into a leech from Leshawna.

"I thought someone might try to double back!" Harold exclaimed triumphantly.

"Okay, you were right," Leshawna admitted.

"And Heather is out!" Chris announced.

"Whatever, I'm going to get something to eat," Heather said bitterly.

* * *

Topher pursued Sierra all the way to the base of the mountain. Upon reaching the mountain, Sierra saw that there was nowhere else to run. Topher caught up about a second later, and fired a leech at her. She dodged, at hit him with a shot of her own, right in the hairline.

"Not the hair!" Topher screamed, and pulled the leech out of his hair. Sierra chuckled at his misery.

However, her mirth was short-lived, as a rapid-fire stream of leeches hit her, with accompanying machine gun sound effects, both courtesy of Beardo.

"Heh heh, they feel like kisses," Sierra said. Beardo and Topher both cringed.

"And Topher and Sierra are both out!" Chris announced. "Remember: Pay attention to your surroundings."

* * *

As she and Scott hunted, Courtney's eye was drawn to a flash of gold between the branches of a fallen tree. "Is that..." she ventured, both her and Scott watching intensely as she knelt near the source and pulled out...a gold hoop earring. Too late, they realized they had been tricked, and both were hit by leeches.

"Boo-yah!" Harold shouted as the camera turned to reveal him and Leshawna behind the two Bass members. Leshawna took back her earring from Courtney.

"Okay, I have to admit, that was clever," Courtney conceded.

However, the celebration was short-lived, as Alejandro burst forth from the trees. He saw the four others, and managed to get one shot off at Leshawna before Harold hit him too. Then Sam burst out from the same direction and shot Harold in the midsection. "Enemies defeated! Initiate taunt dance!" Sam said, and he started doing the Macarena. The five other players watched in amazement, cringing as they did so.

"And Scott, Courtney, Harold, Leshawna, and Alejandro are out!" Chris announced. Then he added, "Sam, please stop dancing."

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"You bet your sweet life I'm going to bring that up when I get the chance."

**End confessional**

* * *

Beth was trying her best to be stealthy, when she saw Trent and Bridgette. Before they saw her, she ambushed them, shooting them both. However, her excitement was short-lived, as she was taken out by a shot from Shawn not a second later.

"And Bridgette, Trent, and Beth are out!" Chris announced. "Looks like we're down to our last seven people." After a short pause, he amended, "Eight people. Sorry, I miscounted."

* * *

A few minutes later, Beardo was hit by a shot from Shawn. Upon realizing what had happened, he started making a loud alarm noise. Shawn ignored him, and the loudspeaker announcing Beardo's elimination from the challenge, as he searched for the remaining campers. Near the base of the mountain, he saw Jasmine's hat poking up from behind a boulder. He stealthily made his way around to get a clear shot...

Only to discover that it was just the hat, on top of a smaller rock on top of a slightly shorter boulder behind the first. He realized it was a trap, but not in time to avoid the leeches Jasmine fired at him.

"Gotcha!" Jasmine said, as Shawn was hit by the leeches.

"And Shawn is out!" announced the host.

"Okay, that was smart," Shawn admitted. He then started pulling the leeches off of him. "Gross. They're like tiny, squirming, blood-sucking zombies. Or vampires, I guess."

"You really don't like zombies, do you?" Jasmine asked.

"Nope! Ever since I found out about them, they've been my mortal enemy. Or immortal enemy, given that they're already dead," Shawn amended as he removed the last of the leeches.

"Well, I'd better be off," Jasmine said. "Good luck avoiding the zombies."

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Jasmine seems pretty cool. Too bad she's not on my team, she seems like she could be helpful in a zombie apocalypse. No offense, but my teammates would mostly be doomed if the horde came for them."

**End confessional**

* * *

Aiden saw Mal, still disguised as Manitoba, a moderate distance away. He scowled, and muttered to himself, "How hard is it to get rid of one re[bleep]? I swear, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." He started following the MPD theater nerd.

* * *

Duncan had spent a long time searching, but hadn't run into anyone. Eventually, he just decided to return to the clearing that served as the Gophers' starting point, that where the cannon was still sitting. He walked over to the cannon, but before he could touch it, he was hit by a leech. "And Duncan is out!" came Chris's voice.

Mal, disguised as Manitoba, walked up to him. "G'day, mate," he said. "I'll be taking this."

"It'll just slow you down," Duncan said.

"I'll be the judge of that," Mal replied. "You can go and rack off." Duncan rolled his eyes and started walking away.

Suddenly, a leech flew towards Mal, who dodged it. He returned fire with his gun. The camera followed the leech, which Aiden managed to dodge. However, he caught his foot on a tree root and tripped, dropping his gun. It fell into the clearing.

And then Aiden made his big mistake. He should have left the gun and ran, and tried to outlast the others. Instead, he tried to retrieve his gun, in order to try to shoot Mal. Mal aimed the cannon at him, whistled his signature tune, and fired.

The camera turned to Duncan, who froze, eyes wide.

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"That's the tune Mal would always whistle! I thought I knew Mike from somewhere, but I didn't realize...I have to warn his teammates!"

**End confessional**

* * *

The camera shifted to Sam and Zoey pointing their weapons at each other, when Chris announced, "And Aiden is out! So, because this challenge has gone on long enough, with two players remaining, the Bass win!"

"Yes! Victory!" shouted Sam. "Taunt dance!" Then he started doing the Macarena again.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Well, that could have gone better. But if we have to go to elimination anyway, there is someone I want gone." He started writing, with his right hand. "Everyone on my team, with one exception, has a weakness I can exploit. I can deal with the nerds, Lightning, Owen, and Shawn. Leshawna, however, is a real threat. She has a strong social game, she's good in challenges, and she's smart, at least in comparison to most of the morons on my team and in the game in general. I think it's best if she goes home tonight."

**End confessional**

* * *

The first member of the Bass Duncan saw when he returned to camp was Scarlett. "Hey, I need to talk to you," he said to her, frantic. "Mike...I know him. Actually, I know an alternate personality of his. His name is Mal, and he was in juvie with me. He's very dangerous, and I think he's in control. You have to be careful with him, he's really bad news. If you don't get rid of him soon, he could hurt a lot of people really badly."

Scarlett gave him a skeptical look. "If you're going to make a transparent attempt to get rid of someone you consider a threat, choose a more believable lie."

"But I'm not lying!" Duncan said desperately, but Scarlett was already walking away. He saw Topher, and then the same thing to him.

"Well, that's not good," Topher said. "I mean, I believe you, but...we didn't lose. We can't get rid of Mike." He thought for a moment. "Perhaps you should go to Chris and Chef with this information. If Mal is in control, they probably know, but maybe they don't know just how bad Mal is. Perhaps you should tell them. I'll talk to my teammates."

"Good idea," Duncan said, and he ran off.

Topher then found Scott, and told him, "Okay, I'll vote with you when we next lose, but only if we vote for Mike."

Scott didn't ask why. "Deal," he said.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I don't know why Topher wants Mike gone, but as long as it means taking power away from Scarlett, I don't care. I'm not picky when it comes to gifts. Or anything, really. Except girls. I am picky about girls."

**End confessional**

* * *

The nerd alliance was convening near the boathouse. "I found this on my bed," Cameron showed them a note. "I found this on my bed. It says to vote for Leshawna."

Harold frowned at this. "Something wrong?" Cameron asked.

Harold said, "Well...I don't really wanna vote out Leshawna. I...kinda have a crush on her. I've even been writing love notes to her."

Noah said, "Well, voting for her does seem like the smart choice..." he trailed off.

Harold made a pleading face. "Gosh, come on, guys. Can't we vote out someone other than Leshawna? I know I don't have much of a chance with her, but...don't you guys know the feeling of really liking someone, even if you don't really have a shot with them?"

Cody and Noah both looked away, and silence filled the air for a few seconds. Eventually, Cody spoke. "All right. We'll vote for someone other than Leshawna."

Cameron said, "Okay, I won't pretend to understand, but I can't say I like the idea of being blackmailed. We can vote for Aiden; he won't be missed, and I don't trust him."

Cody asked, "Has he ever said anything nice to anyone?"

Cameron then looked Harold in the eye. "But if we do, you have to tell Leshawna how you feel. I'm not going to let you pine all season. Also, if we're going to give our advantage of surprise away, I want Leshawna to join our alliance. I don't trust us against a tiebreaker."

Harold gave him a hug. "Thank you!" He then started walking off. Noah and Cody started to follow him, but Cameron caught their arms. He whispered to them, "But if and when it comes down to the five of us, Leshawna will be the first to go." The two of them nodded.

What none of them saw was Aiden eavesdropping on them.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"Love. What is it even good for?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Aiden searched around and found his unaligned teammates. "Okay, I need to talk to you," he told them. "Harold, Noah, Cody, and Cameron are in an alliance, and they're voting together. We need to get rid of one of them, while we still have a majority vote."

He surveyed the reactions of the four of them. Owen looked unsure, Lightning seemed like he was still trying to figure out what that implied, and Shawn and Leshawna clearly understood how much of a threat the alliance presented. "How do you know?" Leshawna asked.

"Remember when Eva was eliminated?" Aiden asked in response. "When everyone else's votes were divided between Noah and me, they voted out Eva. She was a big threat, so they got rid of her. We've got to vote out one of them tonight."

There was a short silence, until Shawn broke it. "Okay, I'll vote with you, but only if we vote out Noah or Cody."

"Why Noah or Cody?" Aiden asked. "Why not Harold or Cameron?"

"Cameron's the team strategist," Shawn explained, "and Harold is the best in challenges out of all of them. With Jo and Eva gone, we're kinda shorthanded."

Aiden huffed. "Fine. Cody or Noah?"

Lightning, Shawn, and Leshawna all shrugged, but Owen said, "Can we vote out Cody? I mean, they're both my friends, but I'd miss Noah more. He's hilarious."

Aiden shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris said, "Congratulations on a day of great entertainment! Did you all have fun? I know I did."

Owen shouted, "I had fun!" The other campers stared at him oddly.

Chris continued, "I have on my plate eight marshmallows. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow..."

"Must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave, never to return. We get it, let's just get on with it," Noah cut him off, speaking quickly.

Chris glared at him. "Fine, marshmallows go to Shawn, Harold, Leshawna, Owen, Noah, Cameron, and Lightning.

"Cody, Aiden, this is the final marshmallow of the evening. The final marshmallow goes to..."

He paused, letting the tension build. The camera went back and forth between Cody and Aiden, both looking very nervous.

_"Aiden."_

The four members of the nerds' alliance gasped. "What?"

"Don't act so sha-shocked, dudes. Quiet Dude told us you guys are voting together," Lightning told them, rather bitterly.

Cameron then realized what was happening. "And did he also tell you that he's been blackmailing us?" He then handed the two notes to Leshawna, who read them, and her eyes widened upon reading the second one. "Oh no. Oh no, he didn't!" She handed the notes to Shawn, who read them and passed them to Owen, who read them and passed them to Lightning.

Aiden then realized his mistake. He belatedly tried to save himself. "No, that wasn't me! I received a note telling me about the alliance!"

Leshawna asked, "Then why didn't we? Prove it. Show us this note."

Aiden stammered, "I don't have it with me...it's in my bunk?"

Shawn said, "Okay, I'll go look for it. Right now."

Aiden desperately said, "I couldn't have written those notes! I'm left-handed! Those notes were written by a right-handed person!"

Leshawna wasn't buying it. "This handwriting is awful. It could have been written by someone writing with their weak hand, and it probably was."

Chris grinned. "Pretty eventful day, huh?" He then looked at Cody. "Time to go, dude."

Cody glared at Aiden. Then he turned to his alliance members. "Give 'em heck for me, okay?" He then walked down the Dock of Shame, onto the Boat of Losers, which sped away with him on it.

Chris looked at the campers. "The rest of you are safe."

He then made eye contact with Aiden. _"For tonight."_ Aiden blanched.

* * *

After the Campfire Ceremony, Harold went to talk to Leshawna. "Hey, could I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah, I'll vote out Mr. Note Writer next time we lose. No one tries to get rid of me and gets away with it," Leshawna replied.

"No, it's not about that," Harold said. "Well, it's a little bit related to that, but that's not the main point."

"Then what do you want to talk to me about?"

Harold took another note out of his pocket. "I wrote this for you," he said.

She took it and read it, and her jaw dropped slightly. "So, the guy sending me those love notes..."

Harold nodded his head. "It was me. That was the reason we didn't vote you out tonight."

He looked at her. "I know I'm not really every woman's dream guy, and I'd understand if you don't like me like that..."

Leshawna looked at him. "You kidding?" She gestured at the note. "You're willin' to do what's best for your girl, even if it's not what's best for you. And you're good with words. Do you have any idea how rare both of those things are? Leshawna _likes_."

Harold's eyes widened. "Really?"

Leshawna said, "I'll go out with you. But we're gonna take it slow. Don't wanna rush into a relationship only to realize we have nothin' in common."

Harold nodded his head. "Of course! I can go as slow as you want!"

He then remembered something. "Oh, right. Cameron wanted me to ask you if you wanna be part of our alliance."

Leshawna nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

* * *

**Confessional: Harold**

"God, I don't know if you exist, but if you do, thank you so much!"

**Confessional: Leshawna**

"Yeah, Harold ain't no supermodel, but I don't put too much stock in looks. From what I've seen, he seems like he knows how to treat a girl, and that's what's really important."

**Confessional: Chef**

"Harold and Leshawna? I'm as surprised as you. But you didn't read the notes. Heh heh heh."

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Was not expecting this to be my longest chapter! I'm not sure exactly how well this elimination will be received. On the one hand, Cody is a fan favorite, and if my reviews are anything to go by, he was well-liked as a comic relief in this story. On the other hand, Aiden's position has reached critical condition, and I know how you all hate him.
> 
> My thoughts on Cody? I don't like him very much, honestly. I know he's a fan favorite, and he wouldn't be the only fan favorite character that I don't like. I've said a few times that I don't like Courtney, after all. But while I get why people love Courtney so much, I don't know why Cody is so popular. Here's an edited Todd in the Shadows quote that I think describes Cody perfectly:
> 
> "In fact, [Cody] was a particular breed of dork: the frat dork. This guy [picture of Leonard] is also a total dork, but he owns it. He's happy, doing what he's doing. But the frat dork can never truly embrace his dork-dom, instead chasing an image of cool that he will never have the charisma to achieve. This is infinitely lamer than the cosplayer."
> 
> Yep, that about sums it up. I also don't really get why he's shipped with absolutely everyone, especially because I don't think he actually wants a girlfriend for any reason other than the status level a relationship would grant him. In my opinion, the only reason he even chased Gwen so much was because he perceived her as the most "cool" girl on Total Drama, and he envied her that. While Candy For Your Thoughts? is a masterpiece, I rarely, if ever, really like Cody outside of that one story, and it didn't help that I couldn't think of a good plot for him.
> 
> I still need challenge ideas. PM me if you have some.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek


	18. Pumpkin Pummel

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Duncan, Heather, Jasmine, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Mike, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Aiden, Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Geoff, Katie, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode began with Harold and Leshawna chatting and writing. "Rush, huh? I'll have to check them out," Leshawna said, writing down something on a piece of paper.

"You really should. They're a staple of classic rock," Harold replied.

Owen passed by them, and decided to say hi. "Hey, guys! Whatcha doing?"

Leshawna answered, "We're talkin' 'bout our interests. We figured, if we're gon' start dating, we'll need to start getting into each others' interests, y'know?"

"Yeah, that's impor...Wait, you guys are dating? That's awesome!" Owen gave Harold and Leshawna a big hug, sqeezing the air out of their lungs. "I'm really happy for you! What do you think you'll do for your first date?"

Harold and Leshawna both thought for a moment. "Well, we're into some pretty different stuff," Harold observed. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it."

Owen said, "Well, whatever you do, I'm sure it'll be beautiful. I'll see you guys later." Harold and Leshawna both waved goodbye to him as he sauntered off.

* * *

"Harold and Leshawna?" Lightning asked Owen. "Sha-whoa, I did not see that coming."

"Relationships are nothing but trouble," Shawn weighed in. "Seventy-five percent of guys in zombie movies die because their girlfriend, or wife, gets turned into a zombie and they hesitate to take her out." Then he thought for a moment. "Although I suppose it would be more likely that Leshawna would be in the guy's position there. Harold wouldn't do well in a zombie apocalypse."

Aiden walked up to the three of them. "Don't you guys get it?" he asked. "Leshawna and Harold dating means Leshawna is now part of the nerds' alliance. That means they can at least force a tie against whomever they want."

Lightning remarked, "You mean against you, skinny."

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"I spent all day yesterday looking for those immunity idols, and found squat. I need to do something, quick, or I'm finished."

**End confessional**

* * *

Aiden ignored the comment Lightning had made. "We should form our own alliance!"

Shawn, Owen, and Lightning looked at him skeptically.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"How do I put this...I'd rather be eaten by a zombie!"

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Team up with Not-Quiet Dude? Sha-never! That dude's a liar, and he don't play fair!"

**Confessional: Owen**

"I don't think so. If it was just me, and Shawn, and Lightning, sure, but I don't wanna be in an alliance with Aiden. I don't think he's ever said anything nice to anyone here."

**End confessional**

* * *

"We can vote for Noah," Aiden continued. "We'll force a tiebreaker, I'll win, and then we'll have control over the votes again! What do you say?"

"I don't think I'm comfortable with this," Owen replied. Lightning and Shawn both declined to answer.

"It's good strategy," Aiden tried desperately. "If you vote me out, you're letting the others have a controlling vote over you."

Shawn wouldn't make eye contact. "We'll think about it," he said.

"Do that," Aiden said, and he ran off.

* * *

Scott, Courtney, and DJ were sitting together talking, and Sam joined them. "Hey, guys," he greeted. "What's up?"

"Topher agreed to vote for Mike when we next lose, so that's good news," Courtney replied. "Are you okay? You were acting a bit strange during the last challenge, and we didn't see much of you yesterday."

"I was going through video game withdrawl," Sam admitted. "But Dakota let me in to the interns' lounge, and I played a few rounds of Tekken with some of the interns, and I'm fine now. Most of them are pretty cool once you get to know them."

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better," DJ said.

Sam shrugged. "Yeah. Back to Topher, though, why Mike?"

Scott shrugged. "He didn't say, and I didn't ask. A bird in the hand is better than looking a gift horse in the mouth, right?"

His alliance mates all gave him strange looks. "What?" DJ asked quietly.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I'm not great with figures of speech."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the woods, Topher met up with Duncan. "So, did you warn Chris about Mal?" he asked.

"Yes, but it didn't do any good," Duncan replied. "Chris said he couldn't do anything unless Mal actually broke one of the show's rules."

"Hmm. I have the votes to get rid of Mike/Mal, but for strategic purposes, I'd prefer it if he was disqualified," Topher replied. "Should we bait him into breaking a rule?"

Duncan thought for a moment. "How would we do that?"

Topher hesitated. "I don't know."

The two of them walked back to camp separately. Duncan was the first of the two to return to camp. Upon noticing Mal on the steps of his cabin, singing a song from _Sweeney Todd_. Hoping to avoid being conspicuous, Duncan started spray-paining the wall of his cabin. Brick walked by and stared disapprovingly at Duncan.

Duncan looked at him. Brick said, "I didn't say anything," a bit defensively.

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"Brick is trying, I get that. But it still seems like I kinda crease him."

**End confessional**

* * *

When Topher got back, he also noticed Mal sitting with Lindsay and Tyler. Lindsay was badgering Mal to "sing another song."

Topher walked toward the outhouse confessional, but he heard a voice inside it. While he waited his turn, he overheard the loud commentary from within.

* * *

**Confessional: Aiden**

"It was supposed to be so simple! Slip something from Boney Island into Mike's pocket, sabotage the boats, and let his team vote him out. But the RCMP came for Izzy, and now it's too late. There isn't even a curse to begin with! Mike's still here, he's in a better position than me, and you can bet your [bleep] I'm taking it personally."

**End confessional**

* * *

Aiden then exited the confessional, fuming. Topher watched him leave, eyebrow raised.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"I think I know how to get Mal disqualified."

**End confessional**

* * *

Some time later, Chris had the teams assemble in a small clearing in the woods. Within the clearing were a large number of pumpkins, painted green, red, yellow, and purple. The pumpkins were separated into groups based on the color they had been painted. "Welcome, campers!" Chris announced. "Your challenge for the day is quite simple, and provides ample opportunity for violence and wanton destruction."

"Okay, so far I like what I'm hearing," Duncan responded.

"Your challenge for the day is twofold: protect your own pumpkins, and smash those of the other teams. Green pumpkins are the Gophers', red are the Bass's, yellow are the Moose's, and purple are the Badgers'. First team to have their crops smashed sends someone home tonight."

Chris then cleared his throat and continued. "But that's not all, no! You see, I'm a bit bored of the teams as they are. The eliminations are getting a little bit too predictable for my taste. So, the second and third place teams will also be voting someone out, but not for elimination! No, we're going to have a team swap!"

This news was met with varying reactions from the campers.

* * *

**Confessional: Sierra**

"A team swap! How exciting!"

**Confessional: Duncan**

"Looks like we really need the Bass to lose, or win if it comes to that. Otherwise, Mal could slip through Topher's fingers."

**Confessional: Aiden**

"This could be just what I need! If my team gets second or third, I can be moved to a new team that has no reason to mistrust me!"

**Confessional: Heather**

"This could be bad. If I end up separated from one or both of my allies, I'll be exposed."

**End confessional**

* * *

"As a reward for winning the last challenge, the Bass get thirty seconds to get as many pumpkins away from this start zone as they can carry, because when the timer officially starts, it's going to be a complete free-for-all here. Any questions?"

"I have one," Scott said. "Aren't pumpkins hard to break?"

"Not these," the host replied. "The type we used for this challenge have thin shells. Ready...Bass, START!"

Immediately, the Bass team members grabbed several pumpkins. Each of them grabbed two, except for Tyler, who tried to carry six. He dropped two as he ran off, both of which shattered when they hit the ground.

Chris watched his stopwatch intently. After several seconds, he shouted, "The rest of you, START!"

Immediately, some of the campers started grabbing pumpkins, while others focused on smashing them. Lightning started stomping several of the purple ones, before Geoff tackled him. Duncan started smashing every single one of the pumpkins the Bass had left behind. Shawn threw a rock at a pumpkin that Beth was holding, causing it to shatter. Sky dashed past Owen and started smashing several of the yellow pumpkins, before Leshawna tackled her. Zoey attacked the Gophers' pumpkins, breaking several, before Jasmine tackled her to the ground. Several more acts of violence occurred in a very short amount of time.

Harold pulled out his nunchucks and waved them menacingly at Alejandro, who had already smashed a few of the yellow pumpkins, as his teammates collected their own pumpkins. As they left, Shawn tore the nunchucks from his grip and threw them at Brick, who had several pumpkins in his arms. Brick dodged, but he dropped the vegetables. "Hey!" Harold protested, but Shawn simply shoved a pumpkin into his arms and the two took off running.

The Badgers also collected what pumpkins had survived the initial attack and started running. As they ran, Jasmine threw a stick at one that Trent was holding rather precariously, and it fell to the ground, shattering as it did so. The Gophers then ran in a different direction, carrying what pumpkins they had saved.

"And out of the many pumpkins we bought for the challenge, only 22 of the Bass's pumpkins, 16 of the Badgers', 14 of the Gophers', and 13 of the Moose's survived the initial violence," Chris announced. "I love this show!"

* * *

As the Bass ran away to keep their pumpkins safe, Tyler slipped on a patch of mud. He landed on his back, and the four pumpkins he had in his arms flew up into the air. All four landed on him, shattering as they did so.

The only one of his teammates to express any sympathy was Lindsay, who dropped her own pumpkins on the ground to help him up. "Are you all right, Tyler?" she asked, worried. The rest of their team gave the two disapproving glares.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"Remind me why Topher wants Mike gone, and not one of these two?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"And six of the Bass's pumpkins fall victim to the team's own clumsiness and stupidity!" Chris announced.

Mal handed Tyler and Lindsay the two pumpkins he was carrying. "Guard them well," he said. He then took off his shirt. "Da Vito will handle da other teams."

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"Oh. Right."

**End confessional**

* * *

Topher ran after him, still carrying his pumpkins. "Vito, wait up! I have to tell you something!"

DJ then looked at his six remaining teammates. "So, what now?"

Scott shrugged. "Split up, I guess."

* * *

The Moose team, once they had gotten sufficiently away from the other teams, took a moment to catch their breath and survey the damages. "So, we've got thirteen pumpkins left," Owen said. "Now what?"

Cameron looked at the yellow-painted pumpkin in his arms. "Chris didn't say we couldn't hide our pumpkins."

"Great idea!" Aiden jumped on Cameron's statement. "You can leave me in charge of that. I'll hide the pumpkins, while you all track down the other teams'!"

"Yeah, that sounds like a winner," Noah remarked sarcastically. "Imagine, Cameron and me valiantly taking down one of the big muscular guys on the other teams and breaking their pumpkins. No, Cameron, Harold, and I will hide the team's pumpkins. You can be in charge of this one." He handed a pumpkin to Aiden.

"Be grateful he's trusting you with it," Harold said bitterly.

"Man, the Lightning's gettin' bored with all this sha-plannin'," Lightning interjected before Aiden could speak. "Let's just sha-break stuff already." He ran off, followed by Owen and Leshawna. Shawn was about to follow as well, but was halted by a tug on his sleeve from Harold.

Harold handed him three ninja stars. "I brought four shruikans to the island with me," he explained. "Eva ruined one, but I still have three left. Use them well."

Shawn held the three stars in his hand. "I will," he promised. "Pumpkin or zombie, each will find a target tonight."

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"I have some shruikan training. They're not the best anti-zombie weapon, but if you have them, might as well be able to use them."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badger team also stopped to regroup. Sky was the first to speak once they did. "Okay, so, we should split into two groups. One to guard the pumpkins, and one to attack the other teams."

Katie and Sadie squealed. "Ooh! We wanna..."

"No." Sky said harshly. "Last time you went together, you were the first ones out. Zoey, Katie, Sierra, Geoff, and I can play offense. Trent, Bridgette, Alejandro, and Sadie can defend the pumpkins."

"Nooooooo! I'll miss you, Katie!" Sadie cried.

"I'll miss you more, Sadie!" Katie wept.

* * *

**Confessional: Sky**

"I don't get it. They'll be back together in a couple hours."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Gophers also stopped to regroup. "What's the plan?" Brick asked.

"I had an idea after the last challenge ended," Jasmine answered. "We played both offense and defense in laser tag and leechball, but then I realized we could have played purely defense, and let the other teams take each other out. So, split up and stay hidden."

"Good plan," Duncan remarked.

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"No, that's not good! If we win, and the Bass don't lose, Mal could escape elimination! I need to do something about it."

**End confessional**

* * *

Topher ran after Mal. Once he was out of hearing range of his teammates, he shouted, "Hey, Mal!"

Mal ground to a halt, allowing Topher to catch up to him. When Topher did so, he doubled over, and panted, "Wow...you're...in really...good shape..."

Mal looked at him. "How much did Scarlett tell you?"

"Not much," Topher told him. "But I do know an item from Boney Island caused you to surface, right?"

Mal grabbed the front of his shirt. "How do you know that?"

"I overheard a confessional from Aiden!" Topher said, his voice high-pitched with fear. "You know, the skinny brown-haired guy with the black t-shirt? He put it in your pocket!"

The camera shifted to show Sierra hiding behind a tree. She saw Topher holding two of his team's pumpkins, and her eyes narrowed.

Topher didn't see Sierra, but Mal did. He put his arm around Topher's shoulders. "Thank you for telling me," he said. "I'm glad you saw fit to bring this to my attention."

Topher smiled nervously. "Of course!"

Sierra then ran out to try to attack Topher, but Mal was quicker. He pushed Topher into Sierra's path, and the two of them fell into a poorly-concealed pit trap. He then turned away from the trap, and muttered, "The hunt is afoot."

As Mal departed, Chris announced over the loudspeaker that the Bass's pumpkin count had dropped to 14.

* * *

Katie and Sky were searching for members of the enemy teams. While they searched, Katie kept trying to talk to Sky.

"So, is there, like, any guy you think is hot?" Katie asked.

"I guess there are a few guys that are kinda cute," Sky admitted. "But I'm not here to date, I'm here to win."

"Date?" Katie asked. "No, I don't mean guys you wanna date, just that you think are hot. Sadie would get it. Anyway, who do you think is the hottest guy here?"

"Shh," Sky shushed her, upon hearing a sound from not that far away. The two crept over to the source of the sound and saw DJ, holding two pumpkins. "Bunny will love these," he commented to himself.

"Okay, now, we've got to sneak up on him," Sky whispered to Katie. "I'll go around to his other side and..."

Katie wasn't listening. She charged out of the woods, shouting "Attack!" Sky sighed and charged after her.

DJ took one look at the two girls charging towards him and ran in the other direction. The two chased him for as long as they could, but he eventually lost them.

"Wow, I did not see that coming," Katie commented.

* * *

**Confessional: DJ**

"I used to live in the hood, but not anymore. My time there taught me a few valuable lessons about losin' pursuers. Not that many guys would try to jump me, seein' as how I'm big and strong. But it's almost happened a few times, and I've learned how to get away easy enough."

**End confessional**

* * *

Bridgette and Sadie were both struggling with trying to carry four pumpkins by themselves. Bridgette dropped one by accident, and it broke as it hit the ground.

"And the Badgers are down to 15!" Chris announced.

"Sorry, I'm...I'm not very coordinated on land," Bridgette told Sadie.

"I get it," Sadie said. "One time, when me and Katie were still learning to roller skate, she lost her balance and smashed her banana split into my shirt and ruined it. I was so mad at her, 'til she got her mom to get me a new one." She then started to tear up. "Katie, I miss you so much!"

"It's okay," Bridgette consoled. "You'll see her soon."

"I guess," Sadie sniffed. However, something caught her eye in the trees. "Wait, is someone there?"

Upon hearing that she had been discovered, Scarlett charged the two girls. They both began running in separate directions, Bridgette dropping another pumpkin as she did so. She shouted a word that had to be censored, and Chris announced the destruction of a second Badger pumpkin.

Scarlett chose to pursue Sadie. She chased her for a respectable distance, though neither girl was particularly fast. Eventually, Scarlett had to stop to catch her breath.

Sadie stopped as well. Upon noticing she had all four pumpkins still in her arms, she squealed, "Hey, I'm doing great!"

"Really?" Scarlett asked. She was holding two pumpkins herself, and she tossed one at Sadie. Sadie instinctively caught it, but when she did, she dropped the four she was holding. When she saw what had happened, her shoulders slumped and she dropped the pumpkin in her hands. It shattered along with the rest of them.

"And the Bass are down to 13, Badgers 10!" the host announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"Fortunately for me, Sadie is simple-minded enough that she didn't even realize she could still try to break the remaining pumpkin in my hands."

**End confessional**

* * *

Duncan stealthily made his way through the woods, carrying the one pumpkin that he had been tasked with defending. He kept careful watch for members of the enemy teams, particularly the Bass. Eventually, he did see Courtney in a clearing. "Sorry, princess, but I need to make sure you lose," he whispered under his breath as he set his pumpkin down on the ground. He then charged into the clearing, intent on shattering the pumpkins Courtney was holding.

His attempt could not have gone worse. As soon as he got close enough to her, Courtney kicked him between the legs. Surprised and in pain, he dropped to the ground. She then walked in the direction he came from, stomping on the green pumpkin as soon as she saw it, and continuing in that direction. Chris announced the destruction of a Gopher pumpkin.

Neither of them noticed that Scott had been watching the whole exchange.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Okay, maybe it's a bit weird, but I actually found that takedown kinda...hot? Courtney's definitely tough, and I do likes 'em tough. Think maybe she'd...nah."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the pit trap, Sierra and Topher had tried to climb out, but met with no success. Eventually, they gave up.

"Great. I'm stuck in a pit with you. Of all the bad things that could have happened, it had to be this," Sierra spat. Topher just sighed in response.

"Oh, the silent treatment? Well, two can play at that game," Sierra said. However, she only remained silent for a few seconds before cracking. "I don't wanna play that game!" she squealed. "Can't we just fight? It's better than the quiet."

Topher shrugged. "Sorry. I don't feel like fighting. The anger is gone."

Sierra sighed. Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, until Topher asked Sierra, "What even happened? We used to be such good friends. We'd have a ton of fun watching movies together, and just hanging out. We would have so much fun. What changed?"

Sierra frowned at him. "What changed was, we started dating, but you acted like nothing changed."

Topher looked at her regretfully. "What was supposed to change?"

Sierra sighed. "I—I don't know, but I thought...I expected, once we started dating, we would get super-close, you know? I thought we would be, like, in harmony."

Topher looked away from her. "I thought it would be like it always was, just with more kissing," he admitted. "I don't know, I just felt...content around you, and I thought you felt the same way."

Sierra slammed her fist against the side of the pit. "I _did_ feel the same way before we started dating, Topher! But when we did start dating...I wanted it to feel different, Topher! I wanted us to be close, to be romantic, to...to not be like Mom and Dad!"

Topher chuckled sadly. "Two sets of divorced parents. All they could teach us was a very specific thing that love isn't."

"Maybe we just weren't ready."

"Maybe."

Sierra let the silence hang in the air for a few moments. Then she finally said, "Do you wanna be friends again?"

Topher smiled. "That would be great."

"FINALLY!" came a voice from above. The two teens looked up and saw Izzy. "It took you long enough!"

"Wha...how long have you been watching us?" Sierra asked.

"The whole time," Izzy admitted.

"Then why didn't you help us out?" Topher shouted, anger evident on his face.

"Well, you wouldn't have made up if I had," Izzy said nonchalantly. Then she lowered a rope to the two teens. "Now climb out. I'm trying to catch a Gremloblin, and I need you out of my trap."

* * *

The episode cut to a montage of the campers breaking each others' pumpkins. Lightning tackled Scott and broke the pumpkins in his arms. Sky ambushed Beth and broke hers. Owen found Lindsay and Tyler, and managed to catch them by surprise. Heather chanced upon one of the Moose's caches of pumpkins and trampled them.

* * *

Jasmine and Sammy chanced upon each other. Jasmine was holding two pumpkins, and Sammy was holding one. While they were conversing, a piece of metal flew into the pumpkin in Sammy's arms, and broke it.

Without looking, Jasmine ran in the opposite direction as quickly as she could. Shawn, still holding two shruikans, pursued her. Jasmine made an admirable effort of evading him for some time, but eventually Shawn managed to throw the shruikans through both pumpkins.

When she saw the results of Shawn's throws, Jasmine stopped. Shawn stopped as well, once he caught up with her.

"Nice work," Jasmine said flirtatiously. "But I'll get you next time, just you wait."

"Looking forward to it," Shawn replied.

* * *

It took a long time for Mal to find Aiden, but he finally did. When he did find the hate sink, he jumped him from behind, grabbed the pumpkin out of his hands, and broke it over his head. He then began viciously beating Aiden with his fists. Aiden tried to fight back, but he wasn't as even close to as strong as Mal, and he had been caught by surprise, so he failed to protect himself, and received many harsh blows.

"And the Moose are now down to eight!" Chris announced over the intercom. "Uhh...Mike, you can stop now."

"No, I can't!" Mal shouted. "I need to teach everyone what happens when you mess with me!"

"Chef, stop him!" Chris said.

Chef eventually reached Mal's position, and fired several darts into him with a tranquilizer gun. However, Aiden was still very injured from the beatdown he had received, with his body covered in bruises, an obviously broken arm, and his eye damaged by Mal's knuckles. Two interns loaded him onto a stretcher.

* * *

At the campfire pit, two helicopters had landed. Paramedics were loading Aiden into one of them, while Mal was being wheeled towards the other by Chef and Dakota, strapped down to another stretcher. The contestants were all watching as this occurred. Delirious, Mal said, in a slurred voice, "No, Batman, I can't go to Area 51 now. I need money to start my essential oils company."

Chef stopped when he was next to Shawn. He quietly asked the conspiracy nut, "Got any more of that holy water on ya, Zombie Boy?" Shawn handed him a bottle of water, and Chef poured it on Mal's face. In the alternate personality's semi-tranquilized state, he ended up swallowing some.

Chris made an announcement as the contestants watched the two being loaded onto their helicopters. "Following the events of today, it is clear that Mike, or rather, his alternate personality Mal, is a clear and present danger to the people on this island. As a result, he has been disqualified and is being transported to a secure psychiatric facility until such time as Mike regains control of his mind. Also, Aiden has been deemed too injured to compete. So, he has also been disqualified and is being transported to a nearby hospital." This announcement caused an uproar among the campers, but Chris refused to elaborate. Eventually, the crowd dispersed.

* * *

"Wow, so, Mike had an evil personality?" Sam asked, after the Bass boys had returned to the cabin. "Who knew?"

Scott was about to shrug, then he frowned.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Topher knew. That's why he offered to vote for Mike."

**End confessional**

* * *

Scott decided to change the subject. "Maybe let's not talk about that. Hey, do you think any of you could give me some advice about girls? The only advice my pappy ever gave me was, 'if you're ever in Holland, go Dutch.' And I don't even know what he meant by that. And he and mammy fight constantly anyway, so it probably ain't even good advice anyway."

Sam shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I only ever had one date in my life."

Topher shook his head, eyes downcast. "My one serious relationship didn't work out. But hey, as of a couple hours ago, we're friends again."

Tyler shrugged as well. "Sure, Lindsay and I hooked up, but she made the first move."

Scott frowned. "Wait, you and Lindsay are together?"

Now it was Tyler's turn to frown. "You didn't know?"

Scott shrugged. "I guess you two just aren't interesting enough for me to notice."

DJ grinned. "I can help. My Momma gave me plenty of great advice about girls." He rubbed his elbow. "I've never needed to use it, but my brothers did, and they're both in good relationships. I can help."

Scott smiled. "Thanks, DJ, you're a lifesaver. So, I've got a crush on this girl..."

"Wait, what girl?" DJ asked.

Scott hesitated, but then admitted, "Courtney."

Tyler gave DJ a high-five. "You were totally right, bro!"

DJ smiled smugly. "Of course I was."

Scott frowned. "Wait, you knew?"

DJ shrugged. "I guessed it would happen sooner or later."

Scott continued frowning. "Huh. Well, anyway, how would I go about telling Courtney that I like her?"

DJ thought for a moment. "Honestly, I think your best bet is to just come right out and tell her."

Scott cringed. "Wait, what? What if she laughs at me?"

DJ shrugged. "At least you'll know."

Scott frowned and nodded, hesitantly at first, but gaining resolve. "All right! All right, I'll do it!"

DJ grinned and slapped him on the back. "Atta boy!"

Topher decided to weigh in on the conversation. "I could use some advice too. So, Sierra and I were together, but we had different expectations for our relationship, and it ended up tearing us apart. Where did we go wrong?"

DJ took a moment to consider the problem Topher had posed to him. "I'm goin' to guess you didn't talk about your feelings much, right?"

"Right."

"That's probably the problem," DJ told him. "You should've been more honest with each other, about your feelings and your expectations."

Topher sighed through his nose. "Maybe you're right."

DJ grinned and folded his arms. "Of course I'm right. My Momma gave me the advice, after all. Any other questions?"

"Just one," Sam said. "How come you never mention your dad?"

DJ's expression turned sad. "He was killed in a drive-by shooting when I was a baby."

Sam gave him a sympathetic look. "Oh."

DJ smiled unconvincingly. "It's okay. It's been, what, fifteen years? We've moved on." In a quieter tone, he added, "Still would have liked to get to know him, though."

"Well, thanks for the advice," Scott said.

"Hey, no problem. We're friends, after all," DJ responded.

"Friends," Scott repeated quietly. "Yes, I guess we are."

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Originally, I thought of my allies as pawns, or underlings. I guess the change happened at some point and I just didn't notice." He paused for a moment. "I'm still gonna leave them behind if I have to, don't get me wrong. It just means I'm gonna feel kinda bad about it afterwards."

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris made an announcement to the two teams present: the Badgers and the Gophers. "You might be wondering why I asked you here," he said.

"Not really," Alejandro replied. "You said there would be a team swap."

Chris glared at him. "Way to step on my moment, Al."

Al gritted his teeth. "I would appreciate it if you would please not call me by that name," he said bitterly.

"I'll keep that in mind. Maybe," the host said dismissively. "Anyway, yeah, we're doing a team swap. You'll be voting for whoever you want swapped. Also, elimination votes are always private, except occasionally, but these aren't elimination votes. So, you will all be using the pieces of cardboard next to where you are all seated."

Each of the campers reached to their sides to find cardboard and a marker. They each wrote a name on the cardboard, and when Chris said, "Show your votes," they did so.

The camera panned across the group. B and Jasmine had voted for Heather, Sammy voted for Beardo, Brick voted for Beth, Heather, Beardo, and Beth all voted for Duncan, and Duncan also voted for himself.

"What?" he asked. "I'm not close with my team, so I might as well try a new one."

"That's fair," Chris said, shrugging as he did so. The camera then showed the Badgers' votes. Katie and Sadie had voted for Sky, Trent, Bridgette, and Sierra voted for Sadie, and Alejandro, Geoff, Sky, and Zoey had voted for Katie.

"The votes are clear," the host announced. "Duncan and Katie, pack your bags and switch your teams!"

"What?" Katie screamed. "But...I can't be on a team without Sadie!"

"And I can't be on a team without Katie!" Sadie squealed.

"Too bad," Chris said. "Not my problem."

"No!" the BFFFLs cried in unison as they hugged each other.

Duncan rolled his eyes at them. "Sorry you have to deal with one of them," he said to his old teammates. "Later, losers!"

* * *

As Sierra walked back to her cabin, she ran into Topher. "Oh, hey, Topher," she greeted awkwardly.

"Can I talk to you?" Topher asked. "I have something I need to get off my chest, and I'd like some outside input."

"Sure, what's up?" she asked.

Topher looked very guilty. "What happened to Aiden...it was my fault."

Sierra frowned. "How?"

Topher told her the story. "And if I hadn't squealed to Mal, he wouldn't have beaten him up," he concluded. "I expected him to get a few bruises, sure, but I didn't expect him to have to be airlifted out."

Sierra didn't say anything for several seconds. "Eh, from what you've told me, he kinda had it coming, but Mal did go too far," she said, finally. "Still, who knows what would have happened if he had stayed? It might have been even worse."

"True," Topher acknowledged. "Well, we should probably get some rest. We might have a challenge in the morning."

Sierra nodded. "Okay. Oh, and, Topher?"

"Yes?"

Sierra smiled. "I'm glad we're friends again."

Topher returned the smile. "Me too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to agreenparrot for the challenge idea, which I borrowed from Total Drama: Legends vs. Nobodies.
> 
> Thoughts on Mike? I absolutely hate him. He's not quite my least favorite character, but he's quite possibly the most objectively bad character in Total Drama. At least Dave could make an interesting villain if brought back for another season. Take away Mike's DID and his romance with Zoey, and you are literally left with almost nothing.
> 
> And not only is he a bad character, but he's a bad person, too. He willingly kept a potentially life-threatening secret from Zoey, and he got Fang to attack Alejandro in the All-Stars finale. This person is seriously supposed to be a hero? I tried to make him a bit less hateable, and have a bit more personality, but I must admit I'm glad to see him go.
> 
> Mal specifically...I tried to make a more interesting reason for his malicious actions, but it came at the cost of his longevity in the story. Extreme paranoia, especially coupled with brutality, does not translate well to Total Drama. He could be an interesting villain, but not in a competition story. At some point, I'll do something with him in a future story that doesn't take place within the competition.
> 
> As for Aiden, he was the product of a lot of tough decision-making. I planned the entire team setup before I realized Mildred was one of the 52 TD contestants, and I had no plans to include her. I considered having Josè Burromuerto fill the final remaining space, but then I realized his strategy would be the same as Alejandro's. Eventually, I just decided to go the OC route.
> 
> After that, I had to decide what his personality would be. Knowing that most readers would be predisposed to hate him, I decided to play into that. As a guest reviewer pointed out, he was based heavily off of Matthew from the Random Drama series, with hints of Natasha as well. However, the primary influence was Matthew, who, like Aiden, is a good tactician but a poor long-term strategist. And that ultimately would have been his undoing even without Mal, but Mal just ensured a painful exit for him, as he ensured a quick one for Mal. I just hope he didn't end up staying in the game too long, as hate sinks overstay their welcome quickly.
> 
> The team swap was something I planned for a while; Katie and/or Sadie could have absolutely no plot relevance unless separated, and by now Duncan had very little plot left on the Gophers. The question of how this might change things remains.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink


	19. Top Dog

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sadie, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on Shawn falling out of the tree he was sleeping in. Thankfully, he had tied a rope around his ankle and to a branch, and he avoided crashing to the ground.

Jasmine woke up as well, and the two climbed down from their trees. "Wow, it's bloody blustery this morning, isn't it?" she asked, having to speak loudly over the wind.

"Yeah, could be a storm on the way," Shawn agreed. "We may have to compete in the rain today."

"That'd be annoying," Jasmine commented.

"Yeah, but that's part of the price we pay for being on this show, I guess," Shawn said in response. "Or for spending a lot of time outdoors in general. Well, at least in Canada. I don't know if Australia gets a lot of rain."

"Some parts of it, but not where I'm from," Jasmine replied. "But I've lived in Canada for a couple years now, so I'm used to it, mostly. Still, it can get pretty annoying."

Shawn shrugged. "Let's get some breakfast. I'm hungry."

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"I'm not gonna miss that Aiden guy. He kinda sucked. But now my team is basically controlled by an alliance I'm not part of. I know the next person off my team will probably be Lightning, Owen, or me. I need to find a way to ensure it's not me."

**End confessional**

* * *

After breakfast, Shawn tried to sneak off to go idol hunting. However, it seemed Lightning had other plans. "Where you think you're sha-going?" he asked Shawn.

"Idol hunting," the survivalist answered.

"No, you ain't," Lightning retorted. "We've got to train."

"But I'm in great shape!" Shawn retorted.

"Sha-no matter," Lightning told him. "If you skip, everyone else will wanna skip too."

Shawn groaned.

* * *

Duncan woke up late. When he got out of bed, he noticed his spray paint was missing. He stormed out of the cabin, and heard the hiss of a spray can coming from the side of the cabin. He followed the sound to see Zoey putting the finishing touches on a mural on the side of the cabin.

"Excuse me?" he asked. "What the heck? Why'd you steal my spray paint?"

Zoey looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry...I just woke up feeling inspired and I had to paint before I lost my inspiration."

Duncan frowned at her. "Well, that's no excuse! You're not supposed to..." He trailed off as he saw the mural. The camera showed a sci-fi city with a spaceship flying above it, with laser blasts being exchanged between the two.

Duncan grinned, impressed. "Never mind, you can steal my spray paint whenever you want. This is epic!"

Zoey smiled. "Thanks. Oh, and welcome to the team."

* * *

DJ, Sam, Courtney, and Scott were walking together. DJ asked Scott and Courtney, "Hey, some of the guys from the other teams are playing basketball. Wanna play?"

"I'm refereeing," Sam added. "I've played a few of the NBA video games, so I know the rules."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Courtney asked. "Scarlett—"

"We probably don't need to worry about Scarlett," DJ remarked. "With Mike, or Mal, or whoever he is, with him gone, we've got the majority vote now."

"She could still find an immunity idol," Scott countered.

Sam shook his head. "This is a long season, and those idols are well-hidden. Scarlett's lost, bros."

Scott grinned devilishly. "So what you're saying is..." He started doing the Macarena. Sam looked away, embarrassed.

Courtney shrugged slightly. "I guess I'm in."

"Well, I guess I'm in too," Scott said. "If by some miracle Scarlett does find an immunity idol, we can always just steal it."

"Um, sure," DJ said.

* * *

**Confessional: DJ**

"I mean, I do think Scott is a good person at heart, but I'm not sure I like how quickly he decided to resort to stealing. I guess maybe it would be the smart thing to do, but he could at least act like it's a tough choice."

**End confessional**

* * *

The basketball game consisted of Lightning, DJ, Courtney, Geoff, and Brick playing against Jasmine, Alejandro, Scott, Duncan, and Zoey. Several other campers were watching the game, though there were also some that weren't. In the bleachers, Katie and Sadie were whispering to each other. Tyler had wanted to play, but nobody wanted him on their team, so instead he made out on the bleachers with Lindsay.

"I've missed you so much," Sadie said to Katie.

"I'v missed you more," Katie replied. "So, aside from Alejandro, who do you think is the hottest guy playing right now?"

Sadie thought for a moment. "DJ, I guess. Who do you think?"

Katie thought for a moment. "Geoff, I think." Then she gave Sadie a hug. "I don't know how I'm going to do challenges without you," she sobbed.

"Yeah, it's gonna be hard," Sadie sobbed back.

Heather looked at the two thoughtfully.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"With Katie now on my team, I have two options. I can get her to align with me, or turn her into a target. On the one hand, Katie strikes me as easily influenced. On the other, she's annoying. She cried herself to sleep last night, and getting everyone else to go after her shouldn't be too hard. That being said, that would probably make her desperate. That also being said, if I align with her, I'd still only be able to force a tie..."

**End confessional**

* * *

The sound of an air horn rudely interrupted the game. "Attention, campers! Challenge starts in ten! Assemble at the campfire pit!" Several of the campers groaned.

* * *

At the campfire pit, Chris began his explanation of the challenge. "Today's challenge is in two parts. Each team will be provided with an animal mascot, which will be important for the challenge. For the first part, you must train your mascot to resemble one of your team members. Whoever does the best job of this will get a big advantage in part two."

He then walked over to four cages covered with tarps. He unveiled two to reveal a badger and a moose. "No prizes for guessing which teams get these two," he said, then opened the cages.

He then walked over to the other two cages, and said, "We thought about getting a gopher and a bass for this challenge as well, but we figured, since the other two teams have animals that are pretty hard to deal with, we settled on this." He unveiled a raccoon in one cage, and the other turned out to be a tank containing a shark.

"Hello, little guy," Bridgette said in the voice a mother might use when talking to a baby, but the badger simply growled at her and charged at her. Sierra tried to tackle it, but it dodged and started scratching her. Duncan then grabbed it and pulled it away from Sierra.

"Okay, listen here, bub. I'm the boss here, and what I say goes. Got that?" He pulled out his pocket knife for emphasis, but the badger was unimpressed. It snarled at him, and he dropped it and backed away.

Trent shivered at the animal's ferocity. He tapped his rabbit's foot against his forehead. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine."

* * *

 **Confessional:** **Duncan**

"I just want to clarify that I was not _scared_ of that furry freak, I was just...the best way to get someone to do what you want is to make them think they're in charge, right? That's what I was doing."

The badger's snarls came from outside the confessional, and Duncan screamed like a little girl.

**End confessional**

* * *

The Moose also had a rather hard time with their mascot. Cameron was the first to react to the animal.

"It's a real-life _Alces alces!_ " he exclaimed. "Greetings, _Alces alces._ " The moose was substantially less impressed with Cameron, however, and head-butted him in the stomach. Cameron collapsed to the ground, and groaned, "I don't think I like _Alces alces._ "

Harold tried to deal with the moose next. "That's no way to treat your teammates. Gosh!" The moose simply head-butted him too.

"Oh no no no, you do _not_ mess with my man!" Leshawna shouted. "Come get some, big-nose!" She grabbed on to the creature's antlers, and started pushing it backwards.

Lightning had a thought. "Maybe we could teach it to play football?" Upon seeing Noah look skeptically at him, he said, "Just a thought."

Owen shrugged. "I didn't think it was such a bad idea."

Noah shook his head. "No, it was a pretty bad idea. Right, Shawn?"

Shawn held up his hands defensively. "Hey, leave me out of this. Besides, Leshawna's got this. Unless you want me to turn the moose into a zombie hunter."

Noah shook his head again. "No, don't do that. How would you demonstrate that, anyway?"

Shawn nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, good point. I suppose I could find a zombie, but bringing it back for the moose to take out without it biting anyone would be hard."

Noah snickered. "You looking for a zombie? I think they employ them at Wal-Mart to cover the night shift, because nobody else can deal with the nighttime Wal-Mart people."

Shawn's eyes widened. "What? The fools! That's a perfect way to get the virus to spread!"

Noah frowned. "Don't underestimate the evil of nighttime Wal-Mart people!"

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"I worked the night shift at Wal-Mart one summer. It was quite possibly the most horrible experience of my life."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Bass were having a vigorous debate over what to do with the shark.

"So, maybe we can get the shark to jump through one of those flaming hoops?" Courtney suggested.

"We don't have a flaming hoop. And even if we did, which member of our team would that represent?" Scarlett argued.

"We could move the flaming hoop so the shark would crash into it, and say it was meant to represent Tyler," Courtney suggested.

"Hey, I heard that!" Tyler protested.

"You were meant to."

"Even so," Scarlett said, "We still don't have a flaming hoop."

"Well, I don't hear _you_ making any suggestions," Courtney spat.

"Your toxicity is not necessary."

"No, I really think it is. _You_ aren't, though."

"Oh? Tell me, where would this team be without my intelligence?"

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"Ugh! I hate her _so_ much! Thinks she's so smart...see how smart you are when we vote you out, [bleep]!

**End confessional**

* * *

Meanwhile, the others were looking at the shark, with Scott hiding behind DJ. Sam looked at the two girls, then at the shark. Then he had an idea. "Hey, Scott! Where's that knife you use for whittling?"

Scott handed him a pocketknife, and Sam looked at his hands. He took a deep breath, and exhaled through his mouth. He held the blade near his hand, but retracted it. "I can't do it, guys. My hands are the only part of my body I'm really proud of. I can't do this to them."

"Here, let me," DJ offered. "I can take it."

He took the knife from Sam and cut his finger slightly. and let a drop of blood fall into the tank. When the shark smelled the blood in the water, it went berserk. Scott screamed and ran to the confessional.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Okay, I'm pretty Chris made this challenge just to mess with me specifically."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Gophers looked at the raccoon Chris had given them. None of them spoke for a few seconds except for Beth, who asked, "Has anyone seen my retainer?"

Beardo stroked his chin for a few seconds, the pointed his finger in the air and made a "ding!" noise. He then started chattering at the raccoon, imitating the sounds of an actual raccoon. The raccoon snarled at him and attacked him. Jasmine managed to calm it down by offering it a walnut, while Beardo scrambled away from the creature.

* * *

**Confessional: Beardo**

"What did I say?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Beth searched around in a trash can. "It's got to be in here somewhere," she said as she searched. Heather and Jasmine looked at each other meaningfully.

"Okay, time for judging!" Chris announced. He looked at Leshawna and the moose fighting, and then at Courtney and Scarlett fighting as the shark raged in its tank. He then looked at the badger growling at anyone who got too close to it. Duncan looked at it, then at Chris. He hesitantly ventured, "Grr. I'm a tough guy."

Chris looked at him skeptically, and Duncan rolled his eyes. "Fine, I can't do it. That thing's a Mal, not a Duncan."

Chris made a face and said, "I like violence, but I was looking for something a bit...different. I mean, after what happened last time, I thought we could use a break. But whatevs." He looked at the raccoon, which dug something out of the trash and ate it. He then looked at Beth, who dug a garbage-covered retainer out of the trash. She said, "I found it!" and put it in her mouth.

"Gross!" Chris exclaimed. "And requiring a bit more effort than just violence! Gophers win part one! As a reward, they get an advantage in part two."

Sam's shoulders slumped, and Lindsay patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, Sid. It was worth a try."

* * *

The next part saw each team in different locations within the woods. "You have all been placed in locations equidistant to camp," Chris announced over the intercom. "Mmm, equidistant. Very grown up. Anyway, part two is to get back to camp using only your ingenuity and your animal buddy's instincts. Last ones back to camp lose. Gophers get a thirty minute head start, starting...now!"

Heather was the first to speak. "Okay, how do we find camp?"

B smiled, took a compass out of one of his pockets, and handed it to her. "Okay, great," Heather answered. "But that doesn't tell us which direction camp is in. We need to know which direction to go in, then we can use this."

"I'm pretty sure he already knew that," Jasmine said. "Maybe I could climb a tree and see which direction we need to go."

Suddenly, it started to rain. "Great," Heather commented. "My hair is going to be totally ruined."

Brick noticed the raccoon crawling away. "Hey, where are you going?" he asked. The raccoon crawled into a large hole near the base of a tree, and Brick followed it, followed by most of his teammates. Beardo and B couldn't fit in the hole, so they stood near the entrance in order to hear.

The hole led into a large cavern, containing a lot of human luxuries, including an HD television with an Xbox, a ping-pong table, and a well-stocked bookshelf. Inside were several raccoons and Izzy, who was using the TV to watch clips of the show.

"Oh, hi guys!" Izzy said. "After I caught the Gremloblin that was menacing them, these nice raccoons offered to let me stay with them! Isn't it nice here?"

"Um, sure," Sammy said. "We're in the middle of a challenge right now, so...could you get your raccoon friend to come with us to camp?"

Izzy shrugged. "Sure." She chattered something to the raccoon in its native language, and the raccoon chattered back. it then climbed onto Beth's shoulder.

Once the team had gotten out of the hole, Izzy poked her head out. "Camp is that way," she said, pointing in a direction. "Make sure to bring Lawrence back once you're done!"

Beth patted the raccoon. "Lawrence? Is that his name?" Izzy nodded.

* * *

As they waited for Chris to give them the signal to start, the Bass were talking amongst themselves. Scott pulled Topher aside, and whispered, "Hey, Topher. There's a good chance we're gonna lose this one, so I'm just making sure we're going to vote together, like we would have if we had needed to vote out Mike."

Topher appeared to consider it. "Voting together would guarantee us a majority vote."

Scott grinned. "Exactly. Don't break an egg...if...if it's working properly..." As he butchered his figure of speech, the grin disappeared from his face.

Topher chuckled. "Were you looking for 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'?"

Scott didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, I may have mixed my metaphors there."

"Mixed them? You put them in a blender!"

Scott glared at Topher. "Okay, this conversation is over." He walked away from the wannabe host.

Courtney examined the tank in which the shark swam. "This challenge is totally rigged against us."

Scarlett nodded. "The aquatic nature of our so-called 'animal buddy' does put us at a disadvantage."

Courtney glared. "Do you think we could sue the show for this?"

Scarlett shook her head. "I doubt it. Chris likely has ironclad legal protection."

Tyler, who had been pacing around, pointed out something that had caught his eye. "Hey, look! The creek! Maybe we could get the shark to swim down it to camp!"

Scarlett's eyes widened. "NO! Our host, in his infinite ignorance, gave us a nurse shark, which is a _saltwater_ shark! Putting it in fresh water will kill it!"

Tyler looked at her, confused. "Sharks can be nurses?"

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"Ugh. _Why_ did I choose to align with someone so stupid?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badgers were also sitting and talking as they waited for the chance to start. Bridgette asked Sky (in a one-on-one conversation), "Why is it that you don't really seem to have many meaningful interactions with any of us?"

Sky shrugged. "I'm trying to be nice to everyone, but I'm not really here to make friends. I know there's a chance I'll have to vote out everyone here, and I don't want to have to deal with someone I'm too close to being eliminated. I don't want to let my emotions get in the way of my gameplay."

Bridgette shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think that's a good way to approach this. First, not being close to anyone could make you an easy target."

"Or a swing vote."

"And second, if you don't win, you'll be left with nothing to show for it."

"That's a risk I have to take."

Bridgette sighed.

* * *

**Confessional: Bridgette**

"I get that Sky doesn't want her game to be compromised, but I think she's wrong about choosing not to have friends here. And I get the feeling that there's more to her self-imposed isolation than just that."

**End confessional**

* * *

Unlike the other two teams, no meaningful conversation was taking place on the Moose team. Owen was performing his rendition of "Singin' in the Rain," but that was it. However, Shawn was not listening to Owen's performance, but searching for any potential immunity idols close by. However, he found nothing and returned quietly to his team, with nobody noticing he had even gone.

Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker. "And the other teams can start in three, two, one," followed by the blast of an air horn.

The electronic cage holding the moose opened. When it stepped out of said cage, Owen attempted to pet it. "Now, noble beast, are you ready to accompany us on our quest? We seek your aid in..." he was cut off by the moose head-butting him in the stomach. Then it tossed its head, snagging its antler on the waistband of Harold's underwear and lifting him off the ground in a massive wedgie.

"How many times do I have to teach you this lesson?" Leshawna shouted, as she jumped on the moose's back and grabbed its antlers. As she and the moose struggled, the creature's head accidentally slammed into Cameron's legs, causing him to fall over onto its head. The moose then reared up onto its hind legs, causing Cam to tumble face-first into Leshawna. When Harold saw the position that Cam had landed in relative to Leshawna, he turned green with envy.

* * *

**Confessional: Harold**

"You had better not have been enjoying that _too_ much, Cameron!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Leshawna lifted Cameron and turned him around so his back was to her. "Don't wanna break your back when I lean forward," she explained. The fourteen-year-old prodigy was blushing, though whether from embarrassment or...actually, let's just assume it was embarrassment. Leshawna is Harold's girlfriend, after all.

Shawn shouted to the others, "I can get us back to camp! Follow me!" He ran in a direction, with Lightning and Owen following him. The moose pursued Owen, Leshawna and Cameron still on its back, and Harold still hanging from its antler by his underwear. Noah went after them, moving as quickly as he could, but that wasn't especially fast compared to them.

* * *

The Bass were having a very hard time with their shark. Scarlett had pointed out that the clearing in which the creek resided led back to camp, the shark tank was heavy, and the rain was making it slippery. Furthermore, Scott looked as if he was on the edge of a panic attack.

"This challenge is _absolutely_ rigged," Courtney grumbled to Scott. "And as soon as it's over, I'm getting in contact with the best lawyers I can find."

Welcoming the distraction from the shark in front of him, Scott said, "Look on the bright side. After tonight, we can ditch one of Scarlett's minions."

Courtney thought about this. "True. It's not like we're at risk. Still, it's the principle of the thing."

Scott raised an eyebrow. In answer to his unspoken question, she elaborated, "The principle of my hatred of losing."

"I get that," Scott said. "But when you look at the bigger picture, losing won't hurt us much here. It's not like losing Tyler or Lindsay makes _our_ position any worse."

Courtney contemplated this. "I guess not."

Lindsay decided to make conversation with Sam. "Hey, Sid," she said. "How is Virginia doing?"

It took Sam a moment to decode Lindsay's question. "You mean Dakota?"

Lindsay nodded. "Yes. I thought it was mean of Chris to make her work so hard and not even let her be on the show much. How is she?"

"She's doing fine," Sam said. "The hard work took some getting used to for her, but she's not doing too badly now. I even introduced her to video games, and she told me she really likes them."

"So, when are you gonna ask her out?" Lindsay asked.

Sam hesitated. "I...have no idea what you're talking about, heheh.

* * *

**Confessional: Sam**

"Okay, that wasn't true. But I don't wanna mess things up with Dakota. Real life isn't like one of those dating games that I used to play but don't anymore. The right dialogue choice to lead to the good ending isn't always obvious. Heck, I don't even know if the 'good ending' is what's best for me _or_ Dakota." A thought occurred to him. "She doesn't edit the confessionals, does she?"

**Confessional: Male intern with red hair**

"No, I edit the confessionals."

**End confessional**

* * *

As soon as the cage surrounding the badger opened, the badger started running in a different direction from the way camp was. "Wait! Come back, dude!" Geoff shouted, but the badger ignored him. The team that had been named after its species followed it to a nest in the crack between two boulders, and Sierra noticed something first.

"Look! Baby badgers!" she pointed out to her teammates. "They're so cute," she said. When the badger growled at her, she held up her hands defensively. "Okay! Look, but don't touch! I get it!"

"Chris has no shame," Alejandro said darkly. "To tear a mother away from her young like that is truly a despicable thing."

* * *

**Confessional: Sierra**

"That's the last straw, Chris! I used to be your biggest fan, but not anymore!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Sadie was the one to say what everyone else on the team was thinking. "Guys, we can't take her back to camp now. Even if it means we lose, we have to leave her."

Her teammates agreed, and they began the walk back to camp, without their "animal buddy."

* * *

With their huge lead, the Gophers were the first to make it back to camp. "And the Gopher team wins!" Chris announced.

Beth set Lawrence the raccoon down near the edge of the camp. "Well, bye, Lawrence."

Beardo attempted to say something in raccoon to Lawrence. However, Lawrence got mad at him, and scratched at his face, and then ran off.

* * *

**Confessional: Beardo**

"Seriously, what did I say?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Several minutes later, the Moose team, sans Noah, reached the camp. Harold's underwear waistband snapped, and he fell to the ground. "That was the second worst wedgie of my life. Gosh," he commented.

"And the Moose team comes in second," Chris said, "is what I would say if you had your entire team here. But you seem to be missing one." Each member of the team quickly did a head count, and realized Noah was missing.

"Oh no! Oh bad! What if the zombies got him?" Shawn fretted. Upon hearing a rustling in the distance, he panicked. "Zombie!" he screamed, and tore a post from the railing of one of the cabins. When Noah got out of the forest, Shawn was about to bring it down on Noah's head. Noah screamed and covered his head.

Shawn halted his intended _coup de grace_. "Noah? You're still alive?"

"Of course I'm still alive!" Noah shouted. "Seriously! You guys left me behind, didn't even notice that you had done so, and tried to attack me when I caught up with you! What am I, Aiden?"

Chris shook his head disapprovingly. "Too soon."

Noah relaxed a bit. "And _now_ the Moose team got second place," Chris finished.

* * *

A short time later, the Badgers arrived at camp, empty-handed. Upon seeing Chris, Sierra walked up to him and kicked him as hard as she could in the groin. Chris collapsed to the ground, and it took a while for him to recover. Once he did, he said, "You do realize that because you didn't bring your animal buddy, you lose, right? You can still go back and get her before the Bass arrive."

Alejandro shook his head. "We have elected to take the loss."

Chris shrugged. "Fine. One of you goes home tonight. Here's hoping it's Sierra."

* * *

When the Bass arrived with their shark tank, it was almost sunset. Chris said to them, "Wanna know how you did?"

DJ shrugged. "Lay it on us, Chris. There's no way we weren't the last team back."

Chris shrugged. "True." Upon seeing their looks of defeat, he said, "But, because the Badgers didn't bring back their mascot, you escape elimination for another day!" This caused the Bass to break out in cheering and high-fives.

* * *

At the campfire ceremony, Chris looked at the Badgers. Beside him, Dakota held a plate of marshmallows. "I have eight marshmallows on my plate," Chris said. "Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must walk the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave, never to return. _Ever._ Marshmallows go to Zoey, Bridgette, Sky, Alejandro, Trent, Geoff, and unfortunately, Sierra.

"Duncan, you're on the chopping block because you're the new guy, and Sadie, you're on the chopping block because you're a liability. The camper going home is...

" _Sadie._ "

Sadie got up. "Yeah, I figured," she said. Once she had boarded the boat, and it had taken her away, Chris turned to the others.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

* * *

Katie observed the Badgers returning from their elimination ceremony, and quickly registered who was missing. "Sadie?" she whispered to herself. Tears in her eyes, she went to her cabin.

* * *

Later that night, Shawn was woken by a sound. He looked for the source of the sound, and saw motion in the woods. " _Zombie,_ " he whispered to himself. He took a hatchet from inside his jacket and pursued it deep into the woods, but lost it.

Suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him. "Hey, Shawn!" He turned around, and saw an orange-haired girl. "Izzy?"

"Yep, it's me," she said. "I decided to give you a hint! Remember: stickers aren't waterproof."

Shawn was confused. "What?"

Izzy refused to elaborate. "You heard me. Think about it."

Shawn did think about it for a moment. "Stickers...stickers...there are stickers on the bottom of the immunity idols!"

Izzy grinned. "Exactly."

"So that means they have to be hidden somewhere they won't be rained on!"

"Yes! I thought you'd get it on your own eventually, but it might be too late by then."

Shawn suddenly looked curious. "Why would you want to give me a hint like that?"

Izzy said, "I gave it to you to keep things interesting. After all, one alliance having a controlling vote on their team? Not interesting. An alliance having a controlling vote on their team when one person outside their team is close to a trump card? Much more interesting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Sadie? Few. I found her and Katie to overall be mostly just cannon fodder. While they can occasionally be written as interesting, it's rare, and when they do have relevance, it's usually just as another player's pawns. I only kept Sadie around as long as I did because she was on an overall strong team, and because of Justin. As the weakest remaining Badger, her elimination was a foregone conclusion.
> 
> However, don't take this to mean Katie will be next. I still have plans for Katie.
> 
> Edit: I decided to change the end from Izzy giving Shawn an immunity idol to a hint that would help him find one.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Introspective
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL


	20. X-Treme Torture

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beardo, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode began with the teams at breakfast. Shawn looked like he had after the 24-hour mark in the Awake-a-thon.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"I searched for the immunity idol all night after my encounter with Izzy, and I haven't found anything yet. I'm beginning to get worried, and I'm wondering if maybe the trade-off of having two teammates who will never vote for me might be worth using the immunity idol to protect Owen or Lightning, if one of them is voted out, rather than me.

"Actually, an alliance between the three of us could be helpful. Owen and Lightning are both competent enough that they won't hold me back, but I think I'd have an edge in the final three and the finale. I wouldn't really want to go up against Owen if the finale is decided by a vote, but otherwise it would be a pretty good final three for me."

**End confessional**

* * *

On the opposite side of the room, the Gophers were eating breakfast. Suddenly, Beardo started choking. Jasmine wasted no time in aiding him, and he coughed up a folded piece of paper. Curious about its contents, he unfolded the paper.

Upon reading the note, he gasped. "What does it say?" Beth asked.

Beardo couldn't speak for a few seconds. "It-It's a love note. Addressed to me."

Beth gasped. "Really? Who's it from?"

Beardo looked at the bottom of the note, only to see an illegible ink smudge where the signature presumably was. He pointed it out to Beth, who said, "Oh. Well, there's still only..." she did a quick head count, "seventeen people it could be from. Everyone here knows you like guys by now."

Beardo nodded. "Yeah, it's not like it was a secret." He looked at B. "Was it you that sent me this?"

B shook his head. _"No."_

"And I know it wasn't Brick," Beardo continued.

"Yeah, I don't like guys like that," Brick agreed.

"Well, that puts us down to fifteen," Beth said. "Katie, what do you think?"

"Sadie would have loved this," Katie whispered to herself. Then she took a deep breath and composed herself. "Okay, it couldn't have been Trent or Geoff. Trent likes Gwen, and Geoff likes Bridgette. Sadie and I kept up with gossip before I got switched to this team, and Harold and Tyler both have girlfriends, so it wasn't them, either."

Heather continued their brainstorming. "Cameron hasn't hit puberty yet, so it probably wasn't him. It could have been Topher, but it probably wasn't. We know from their obnoxious arguing that Sierra is his ex, so he's into girls. He could be bi, but probably not."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Do I really care who sent the note? Not really. But whoever it is could be an ally if we both reach the merge, so I'll help them figure it out."

**End confessional**

* * *

"True. We have no real reason to think he is," Beardo said. "So that leaves us with nine possibilities."

Chris interrupted the Gopher team's brainstorming. "Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's challenge time, campers!"

* * *

Chris assembled the teens at the campfire pit, as par usual. "Today's challenge is the Extreme Sports Challenge!" he announced. "Like the Water Sports Challenge and the Trust Challenge, this is a three-stage challenge, with the winners of each stage getting immunity. The team that does not win any of the three stages will send someone home tonight. For our first stage, we have EXTREME SOFA-BED SKYDIVING! You'll be jumping from five thousand feet onto a fold-out mattress, and wearing these," he said as Chef and Dakota held up ratty old parachute packs.

"The state of the parachutes does not exactly inspire confidence," Cameron admitted.

"Too bad," Chris said, "because you will be taking the plunge for your team, Cameron!" Chef tossed Cameron a parachute pack, and the bubble-boy buckled under the weight.

"Also parachuting for their teams are DJ, Brick, and Sierra!" Chris announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"I'm slightly disappointed that Sky isn't doing this stage. Talk about a missed opportunity for a pun. But hey, the randomizer must be obeyed."

**End confessional**

* * *

While the four selected campers were boarding the plane that would take them to skydiving height, Shawn pulled Owen and Lightning aside. "I need to talk to you guys for a second," he said.

When they were out of earshot of their teammates, Shawn whispered to them, "I think I might know something about where the immunity idols are hidden."

Owen gasped. "You know where one is? Did somebody find one?"

"No, nobody found one, and I don't know where one is _exactly_. But I do know they have stickers on the bottom, so they have to be somewhere they can't be rained on. Otherwise, the stickers would be damaged by the rain. Maybe even peel off."

"So, like, in a building?" Owen asked.

"I was thinking more like, in a cave," Shawn said. "There are some caves around the island, probably near the mountain."

Lightning frowned. "Wait, sha-why would you tell us this? Wouldn't it make more sense to just find it yourself?"

"Simple," Shawn answered. "I want to form an alliance with the two of you. We'll split up to try to find the idol, and when we do, we'll use it to take out someone on the nerds' alliance."

Lightning frowned suspiciously. "You just wanna let us find it for you, is that it? Scared they'll sha-ditch you?"

Shawn's eyes widened. "What? No! If anything, I'm the only one of the three of us who _doesn't_ need to worry! After all, Owen is the most expendable person on our team who isn't in the nerds' alliance."

Owen shrugged. "I guess that's true."

"And forcing everyone on the team to do grueling workouts every day has made Lightning unpopular," Shawn continued.

Lightning seemed surprised by this news. "Sha-whaaaaaa?"

"So, do we have a deal?" Shawn asked.

After a moment of hesitation, both of the other boys nodded.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Okay, I am admittedly 80% sure that I won't be eliminated if we don't find the immunity idol. But I need to be 100% sure. Reality show or zombie apocalypse, taking risks is what gets you killed.

**End confessional**

* * *

While the three of them were talking, Beardo was trying to find out who had sent him the love note. The first person he asked was Noah. "I received a love note this morning, but the signature was saliva-damaged. Did you send it?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but while 'grubby lion man who can emulate an autotune effect with his natural voice' may be someone's type, it is most assuredly not mine," Noah answered.

Beardo gave him a look. "You could have just said no." Noah simply shrugged in response.

After that, Beardo asked the same question to Shawn, Lightning, and Owen, who had finished talking.

"Sha-no way, dude. The Lightning does _not_ swing that way," Lightning said. "But if you do, that's cool. Lightning don't judge," he added, addressing the other three.

"No, I don't swing that way either," Shawn said. "But even if I did, I wouldn't have sent love notes anyway. Relationships only get you in trouble in a zombie apocalypse. 75% of guys in zombie movies get killed because their loved ones get turned, and they can't bring themselves to finish the job. That will _not_ be me."

Owen shook his head. "Sorry. Wasn't me either."

* * *

On the ground, three of the four teams were moving their couches fairly easily. The Bass...less so.

"Seriously, guys! Lift with your backs!" Courtney said. "Argh, it seems like with DJ gone, the team's physical strength got cut in half."

* * *

In the air, Chris handed the four skydivers clipboards and pens. "If you could just fill these out," he said.

Cameron frowned. "If I am not mistaken, I believe we already filled out insurance forms for this show."

"You did, but these are for organ donation. I have this really cool cannibal challenge that I want to pitch to the producers." Upon hearing this, Cameron tore the form to pieces.

"What? That's terrible! You're a terrible host!" Sierra said.

"Whatever," Chris shrugged. "Here comes the drop!" He pushed the four out of the plane. DJ screamed.

"Was it left, then right? Or right, then left?" he asked of nobody in particular, as he held the two rings that were meant to deploy the parachute. He decided to try one combination, and it ended up being the wrong one, apparently, because the parachute did not deploy.

Brick had a bit more luck opening his parachute, which deployed successfully. However, there were some holes in it. Enough that the parachute slowed his descent, but not as much as it should have.

Sierra opened hers, and it was in good condition. However, the parachute got caught in a gust of wind, and blew off-course.

Cameron waited the longest to deploy his parachute. "Distance times acceleration downwards, accounting for air resistance, the perfect time to deploy is...now!" He deployed his parachute with no problems, and made a perfect landing on the fold-out mattress.

The other three hadn't been so lucky. DJ did land on the couch, but he did so before his team deployed the mattress, with no parachute, and was knocked unconscious. Sierra got her parachute stuck in the branches of a tree, and Brick landed in a pile of sand. Sammy gasped and ran over to his side.

As the interns rushed Brick and DJ to the infirmary, Chris said into a megaphone, "And the first immunity goes to the Moose!"

* * *

As the Moose left, Shawn, according to his alliance's prearranged signal, asked them, "I'm going for a run. Anyone else wanna come?"

Leshawna looked at him like he was crazy. "You trippin'? After that first run Lightning makes us do every morning? Uh-uh."

"Yeah, as _tempting_ as that sounds," Noah said sarcastically, "I would rather do pretty much _anything else._ "

"I'll go!" Owen said. "I need to lose some weight. Lightning, you coming?"

"Sha-yeah!" Lightning exclaimed. "Let's go!"

"Well, have fun with that," Harold said. The two groups parted ways, and Shawn's group headed to the mountain. "Okay, guys. Split up and look for caves."

* * *

The second part started by a pen containing a moose. "Okay, cowpokes! It's time for the EXTREME RODEO MOOSE RIDING CHALLENGE! You must ride the moose for eight seconds, or you'll get hoofed into a giant pile of socks from the Lost and Found! Our lucky riders are Katie, Courtney, and Geoff!"

Geoff was the first up. "Let's do this, moose dude," he said confidently, and he stood up on its back. Sky attempted to comment on this. "Geoff, you probably shouldn't..." her sentence was cut off by the moose bucking Geoff off as soon as the timer started.

"And Geoff is out?" Chris commented as Geoff flew over his head. "Ooh, that stinks big time for the Badgers."

_"Wait a minute, pause that," Chris said as everything paused. "Let's just rewind that shot and run it in super slow-mo."_

_The shot rewound to just as Geoff flew over Chris. "I'm embarrassed. This is so degrading. I mean, just look at me!" The clip played Geoff soaring over him. A hand scribbled out Chris's clothes and circled his face with a pink marker. "Can we please get a decent budget together for hair and make-up? I look like I just fell out of bed. Geez!"_

"Katie, let's see if you can do better."

While Katie prepared for her attempt, Beardo asked Scott and Sam about the note.

"Wasn't either of us, dude," Sam told him. "We're both straight."

Katie then was bucked from the moose, and landed on Sam. "Ouch..."

"Six point seven seconds!" Chris announced. "Better, but still not enough! Courtney, your turn!"

"Yeah, it definitely wasn't me," Scott said as he stared at Courtney. She had grabbed the moose's antlers with her hands, while holding it in a choke hold with her legs. It tried to buck her off, but failed, and collapsed shortly.

"Nice try, moose, but you'll have to do better than that! I was a CIT!" Courtney shouted.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"So hot..."

**Confessional: Sam**

"What kind of summer camp trains its counselors to ride moose?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The camera cut to a montage of Shawn, Owen, and Lightning searching for, and searching through, caves. At the end of the montage, Lightning emerged from the entrance of a mine. "Sha-dang, that place is huge!" Lightning commented. "The Lightning could search there for days! He can always come back, though."

Owen ran out of another cave, pursued by a bear. Seeing an opening, Shawn snuck into the cave, where he searched around. He saw a screwdriver and a pink ribbon. "Must have been left here by accident by those two members of the Gopher team back in the camping challenge," he said.

However, those were not the only things of note he found in the cave. A bit further in, he found a wooden statue of Chris's head. Just to make sure, he turned it over, to find a sticker on the base that said, "Chris McLean seal of authenticity."

He pocketed the immunity idol, and snuck out of the cave.

* * *

The third and final challenge took place in a large lake of mud. "And the final challenge of the day is EXTREME SEA-DOO WATERSKIING!" Chris announced. "Contestants will water ski a race course while grabbing as many flags as they can, while a member of the opposing team drives the sea-doo."

"How can we water ski without water?" Heather asked.

"Really hard," Chris said. "Watch." Dakota tried to demonstrate the challenge, but didn't make it far before crashing into a tree. Chris laughed. "Awesome! Skiers for this challenge are Duncan and _Hector_!"

"I really wish he would stop calling me that," Beardo said quietly.

"I understand, _mi amigo_ ," Alejandro commented from behind him. "My worthless brother Jose always calls me Al, specifically because he knows I hate it. That is only one of a great many reasons I despise him."

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"In this game, there are a few contestants I believe to be a strategic threat to myself. Scarlett, Cameron, Scott, and Heather. And while Cameron is in a currently unassailable position on his team, and Scott and Scarlett will deal with each other, I can affect Heather's game. I did not write the note, but if I can get Beardo to assume I did, I may be able to get one of Heather's supporters eliminated. I cannot tell him I wrote it, as I would lose plausible deniability if I did, but if my charm is sufficient, and it will be, he will make the assumption easily."

**End confessional**

* * *

"But your name is nothing to be ashamed of," the charmer continued. "It is a rare name for a man with rare talent. Take pride in it, as you do in your amazing voice and your beautiful beard." He smiled at the human soundboard.

Beardo stared at him.

* * *

**Confessional: Beardo**

"Could it be...?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Heather was chosen to drive the sea-doo. She drove erratically, swerving, making tight turns, and slowing down and speeding up randomly in an attempt to shake Duncan. And at first it worked, with Duncan being too off-balance to grab the first flag. However, he quickly adjusted, and managed to grab the second flag, though he did so by the fabric rather than the pole as he was supposed to. By the third flag, he was used to both skiing on mud and Heather's driving, and he took the third, fourth, and fifth flags with no trouble at all.

"And flags two, three, four, and five are Duncan's! Heather has to cross the finish line, or her team automatically loses!" Chris announced.

Heather frowned. She put her hand in her pocket as if searching for something, but her expression changed to one of worry when she realized it wasn't there.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I honestly didn't have that much faith in Beardo to win this for us, so just in case we looked like we would lose, I took a pocketknife so I could cut the line holding Duncan to the sea-doo. Only it must have fallen out of my pocket, because when I reached for it, it wasn't there."

**Confessional: Duncan**

Duncan held up a pocketknife. "I took it from Heather when she wasn't looking. Try something less obvious next time."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And Duncan snags four flags for his team!" Chris announced. "Can Hector collect all five flags to win?"

Beardo saw Alejandro getting onto the sea-doo to drive. "Should I be nervous?" he asked.

"Of course not," Alejandro answered. "You just worry about getting the flags. I will ensure you have every opportunity to do so."

"And go!" Chris announced, upon which Alejandro zoomed off. And while his driving was more controlled than Heather's, it was even less forgiving.

Immediately upon nearing the first flag, Alejandro swerved so that Beardo collided with a tree. Unprepared for this, Beardo failed to recover in time to get the flag. Then, before the second, Alejandro steered so that one of Beardo's skis would hit a rock. Beardo was still recovering, so he failed to avoid this obstacle, and he fell onto his back, with the skis dragging behind him.

He managed to recover somewhat, but not in time to get the second flag. "What are you doing?" he shouted at Alejandro, obviously feeling betrayed.

"Winning!" Alejandro replied.

"But...but...but..." Beardo sputtered. "Didn't you write that love note to me?"

"No, why would you think that?" Alejandro asked. "And even if I had, I wouldn't simply let you win. I would have made you earn it. Thinking otherwise was a mistake."

Beardo managed to grab the fifth flag when they passed it, but it was too late for it to make a difference. "And Hector drops the ball, bringing back only one flag," Chris announced. "Looks like the Gophers will be the ones voting out a teammate tonight."

* * *

**Confessional: Beardo**

Beardo sighed. "As much as I want to blame Alejandro, he was just being nice, and it was my fault for reading too much into it. In my defense, everything he does seems like a romantic gesture, but that's just how he is, and I should have recognized that he didn't mean anything by it."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Campfire Ceremony began as normal, with the campers sitting around the campfire and Dakota holding a plate of marshmallows for Chris. "As you know," Chris said, "if you do not receive a marshmallow, you are forced to walk the Dock of Shame, and you can never return to camp. _Ever._

"However, that will not be the case for Jasmine, Heather, Beth, Beverly, or Samey. That leaves Katie, Hector, and Brick, for failing their challenges today."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault that my parachute was defective!" Brick protested. Notably, he had many bandages on, and much of his visible skin was bruised.

"Which is why you're safe." Chris said, as he tossed the cadet a marshmallow. "And tonight's loser is..." the camera panned to Katie, who kept glancing at Beardo, and Beardo, who simply looked resigned.

_"Hector."_

Beardo made Pac-Man's iconic death noise. "Yeah, I thought so," he said. He was about to step out onto the Dock of Shame, but was stopped by someone else shouting, "WAIT!"

DJ hobbled over to Beardo as quickly as he could. He was also heavily bandaged, and was using a crutch.

"I couldn't just let you go before telling you that I wrote that note," DJ said. "Sam told me you were looking for the guy who sent it. Well, here I am. I'd give you a hug, but I don't think my ribs can take it right now."

"Oh, yeah! I didn't find out who that was!" Beardo said. "So, like, do you wanna go out once the competition is over? Like, on a date?"

"That sounds awesome," DJ said.

Beardo then walked onto the Boat of Losers, smiling. "It was really nice to meet all of you!" he shouted.

The camera panned over to Chris. "Great. Now because of him, we're going to have to butcher this episode in editing for the Chinese version, to the point where the elimination doesn't even make sense. Anyway, the rest of you are safe. _For tonight._ "

* * *

At the Bass cabin, Courtney was about to go inside to go to bed, but she was stopped by Scott. "Um, Courtney, I've been meaning to talk to you for a little while now."

"Yes?" Courtney asked.

"Well, I wasn't sure when was the right time, but after the guy that DJ liked was voted out, I figured I should do it now, before the same thing happened to me." Then he realized how that might be interpreted "Not that there's a guy _I_ like, I'm just trying to ask, Courtney, I know I don't have that much to offer, but will you be my boyfriend? I mean, I'd like to be your girlfriend. I mean, that's not what I mean, I just...AAARGH!"

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I guess being tongue-tied runs in the family."

**End confessional**

* * *

Courtney giggled. "No, I think I get it. And yes, I'd be willing to give it a try. You're tough, and ambitious, and clever, all things I like."

Scott pumped his fist. "Yes!"

Courtney frowned slightly. "I do have one condition, though."

Scott looked worried for a moment. "What is it?"

Courtney wrinkled her nose. "Have a shower. A long one."

She entered her cabin, and Scott sniffed his armpit. He cringed at the smell. "I'll get right on that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A short chapter, but hopefully enough happened to keep it interesting. While challenges with individual participation typically make for short chapters, there was a fair amount of plot that happened.
> 
> Thoughts on Beardo? Underused, though I'm not going to say he deserved to make the finale or something like that. He seems like a likeable enough guy, and he was extremely funny in the one episode he appeared in. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the humor is dependent on audio and visuals, and doesn't translate well to fan fiction. I did attempt to give him some believable characterization.
> 
> Also, to this point, Alejandro has been fairly complacent. Axing Gwen and backstabbing Justin are both all well and good, but I figured he was overdue a move. Cutting down an alliance seemed like a fairly logical step.
> 
> As for DJeardo, it was actually a fairly last-minute decision. I initially planned to simply have Alejandro fake-flirt with Beardo and use that against him in a similar manner to how he fake-flirted with Bridgette in Anything Yukon Do, I Can Do Better, but I decided it would be less traceable for Alejandro to create a situation that could easily be mistaken for a misunderstanding.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there?)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard


	21. Basic Straining

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened early in the morning, with Tyler and B thumb-wrestling. Tyler pinned B's thumb beneath his own, and Topher announced, "And Tyler defeats B, and advances to the finale of the Great Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Tournament!"

Sam then took B's place across from Tyler. "Now, for the grand finale, our hitherto undefeated finalists, Sam and Tyler, will compete for the title of Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Champion!"

However, the excitement was cut short by the sound of the camp loudspeaker going off. However, instead of the host's voice, the voice of Chef was the one being broadcast. "Listen up, you little cockroaches!" He yelled. "I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 0900 hours!"

Several of the campers looked at each other in confusion. Brick said, "Nine o'clock. Which is now, so..."

"Well, what are you waitin' around for?" Chef asked. "Get down here now!"

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"I think this is a military-themed challenge. And as someone who spent two years in military school, and comes from a military family, I have prior experience. And most of my teammates are no slouches either, so I'm not worried."

**End confessional**

* * *

When the campers had assembled on the docks, they noticed that Chef was wearing a drill sergeant uniform instead of his standard outfit. "Line up and stand at attention!" he shouted into a megaphone. He then pulled out a pointing stick and walked down the line of campers. "You call this proper formation? Feet together!" He shouted at Geoff, emphasizing the command with a strike of the stick to Geoff's legs. "Arms down!" He struck Lightning's arms as the football player was stretching. "Eyes forward!" Zoey quickly turned her head forward. "Head up!" He smacked Noah's back to correct his poor posture.

"Well, this is gonna be good," Shawn muttered sarcastically.

"What did you say to me, soldier?" Chef yelled through his megaphone.

"Uh, nothing?" Shawn answered quickly.

"And you will continue to say nothin', until I tell you that you can say somethin'!" Chef told him. To the group in general, he continued, "Today's challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive." Heather rolled her eyes at the comment and received a whack. "My orders are to make sure all the babies in front of me drop out of my boot camp except three. The last three standing win immunity for their teams."

"Well, if all members of one team drop out, but there are more than three remaining campers remaining between the three-" Harold tried to correct, but was cut off by Chef. "Did I ask for your opinion, maggot?" he asked threateningly.

"Um, no, sir," Harold said nervously.

"Then _shut up!"_ Chef shouted at him.

"Excuse me, Chef, but what happened to Chris?" Zoey asked.

Chef ignored her. "Rule number one! You will address me as Master Chief! Have you got that!"

"Yes, Master Chief!" the campers said.

"You will sleep when I tell you to sleep. And you will eat only when I tell you to eat. Is that clear?" he asked pointedly, as he stopped in front of Owen.

"Yes, Master Chief!" the optimist said hastily.

"Rule number two! When you are ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock and ring the bell!" Chef continued. "Which brings me to rule number three. We're on a schedule, so I'd like to get three quitters before the end of the first day. And that day will not end until three people drop out. Now get your butts down to the beach, soldiers! Now! Now! Now!"

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"I don't know whose sick idea it was to let Chef be in charge of this challenge, but he clearly isn't fit to host. Still, it's just for one challenge, so I suppose you'll just have to deal with it."

**End confessional**

* * *

The four teams stood on the beach, with canoes beside them, one green, one red, one yellow, and one purple. "Listen up!" barked Chef. "Each team must hold a canoe over their heads. I catch you takin' your hands off the canoe, and you are out! And nobody eats lunch until three someones drop out!"

"Hey, this isn't too hard," Trent said.

"Piece of cake," Geoff agreed.

* * *

Several hours later, in the middle of the afternoon, the teams were still holding the canoes over their heads.

"Ugh, my knees are killing me," Jasmine complained. The camera was angled to the side, to show that she had had to squat slightly due to being several inches taller than her teammates.

"Oh, shut up. DJ's only like two inches shorter than you, and I don't hear him complaining," Heather snapped.

"Okay, no need to get crook on me," Jasmine said. "I'm not bailing just yet."

The camera panned over to DJ. A spider had crawled out of the canoe and was crawling over his arm. DJ pretended not to notice, but he was cringing.

Tyler looked over his shoulder and saw the spider. "Dude-"

DJ cut him off. "Don't tell me, I don't want to know."

Sam groaned. "Ugh. Hands bored. Need video games."

Scarlett gave the back of his head a cold stare. Despite not being able to see her, he instinctively felt it and shrunk away slightly. "I hope you're not considering quitting."

"No!" Sam reassured her quickly. "I can make it to the end of this level."

Chef and Chris, the latter looking the worse for wear, observed the campers, many of whom were visibly tired. "Come on, you sissies," Chef said. "It's only been five hours."

"Looks like they missed lunch," Chris commented.

"Yeah, I guess they weren't _hungry_ ," Chef agreed pointedly. "Unless someone wants to quit now?"

Owen's stomach rumbled at the thought of food. Leshawna turned slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye, keeping her hands on the canoe. "You drop out, and I'll hit you so hard you won't be eatin' anything for a week."

"I won't!" Owen reassured, a bit nervous.

Topher looked critically at Chris. "No offense, but you look pretty bad," he said to the host, who seemed very worn-out.

"You're one to talk," Chris said irritably. "You're so sweaty, I can see my reflection on your forehead."

"I've been standing in the hot sun for the past five hours. I have an excuse," Topher deadpanned. "And even so, I'm less of a sweaty mess than a lot of the other people here." Courtney gave him an annoyed glance, while Lindsay seemed to assume "most" excluded her. The other members of his team made faces that showed they more or less accepted that Topher was right. "What's your excuse for looking like you're about to pass out?"

"Hangover," Chris said bitterly.

"Getting drunk before filming? That doesn't sound very professional to me," Topher commented faux-innocently. "And can we talk about your crow's feet?"

Chris's eyes widened. "Crow's feet?" He turned away from the campers. "Dakota, get me a mirror!"

Topher smirked after his retreating form. "Enjoy your time hosting this show while it lasts," he said softly. "Because someday I'm going to be hosting this show, and then it'll be 'Chris who?'"

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"I just want to clarify that at the beginning of the season, I really was a fan of Chris. But now I see him for what he is. Unprofessional and irresponsible. He has charisma, sure, but I know plenty of hosts that could match that, and when he tries to be cool, it does not look good. Dad, when I get home, we're ditching all the Chris DVDs!" He paused for a moment. "Except _Shuttlecock Under_. I may not be a fan of the star anymore, but good writing is good writing."

**End confessional**

* * *

Nightfall came with the challenge still going. Chef was sitting on a beach chair, regaling the teams with war stories of questionable veracity. "Twenty-five of us went into the jungle that night," he said. "Only five came back out."

Duncan yawned. "Excuse me, which war were you in, again?" he asked.

"Did I ask you to speak? Because I don't remember asking you to speak," Chef shouted. Duncan looked back at him, unfazed.

The focus moved to Cameron, who dropped his arms. "I'm sorry, but I cannot continue," Cameron said. "My arms just can't take it any more." He walked out of his team's line, then dropped to the ground, unable or unwilling to walk.

"Yeah, I can't keep going either," Lindsay agreed. As she walked to the bell, Cameron said, "Could you give it an extra ring for me, please?"

Lindsay obliged, hitting the bell twice with her head. After a few more minutes, Jasmine followed suit (albeit only once, and not with her head).

"Holding the canoe is no problem, but I can't stand squatting like that any longer," she explained.

"Listen, y'all have nothin' to be ashamed of," Chef said in a soft tone. Then, he dropped the act, and shouted into the megaphone, "Except being little babies who let your teams down!" Addressing the others, he said, "As for the rest of you, report to the Mess Hall. Dinner is served."

"YES!" Owen shouted.

* * *

"All right, maggots, open your ears!" Chef shouted. "You've got ten minutes to eat before night training begins, so get to it." At the sound of the words "night training," many of the campers groaned.

"Hey, Master Chief! Where's the food?" Owen asked.

Chef gestured to a line of trash cans. "You're looking at it."

"That's just garbage from this morning's breakfast," Trent pointed out.

"Darn right," Chef said. "When you take what you can get."

Owen started eating burnt scrambled eggs from one of the trash cans, to the disgust of his peers.

Chris showed up, looking much better than he had before. "Well, I can see you've got this under control. I'm off to Craft Services. You coming?"

"Heck yeah! Serve me up some of that!" Chef said, as he walked off.

Some of the campers, realizing they weren't going to get anything else, started looking through the trash for anything that was still edible. Alejandro cringed. "I'm afraid I cannot eat this."

Heather scowled at him. "Why, are you not tough enough to handle it?" she said antagonistically.

Alejandro looked at her. "I could not stand to contaminate my body like Chef is suggesting."

Heather gave him a death glare, but said nothing.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Beardo told me what happened with Alejandro yesterday. He thought Al was just being polite and he was reading too much into it, but I'm not convinced. I think he was intentionally dropping hints hoping to bait him, then catch him off guard. It's what I would have done."

**End confessional**

* * *

The scene cut to Chef, who was dancing a modified version of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." The shot panned over to the campers imitating his moves. The dance moves went on for quite some time, until, during a series of pelvic thrusts, the music suddenly stopped. The camera showed that Duncan had turned it off.

"Three of us dropped out already. There's no reason to keep going like this," Duncan said rudely.

Brick took it upon himself to respond. "Actually, Master Chief said the day would not end until three people dropped out. He didn't say it would end once they did."

"We'll stop when I say we'll stop! And you better not be trying to kiss up to me, boy! Drop and give me twenty, both of you!" Chef shouted.

"Yes, sir!" Brick saluted, and obliged. Duncan stared at Chef defiantly for a few seconds before following suit.

"Any other questions?" Chef asked.

Sammy raised her hand. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"This isn't what I had in mind," Sammy said to herself, as the scene cut to her in the bathroom with a pair of latex gloves, a mop, and a bucket to clean it.

* * *

In the Main Lodge, Chef had seated the campers, sans Jasmine, Cameron, and Lindsay, at desks. "For your next challenge, you will write a three hundred-word essay about how much you love me. Anyone who fails to complete the essay or falls asleep will be eliminated."

The camera shifted to an analog clock, which read 12:55. When the clock had reached 3:00, Chef went to collect the essays. He looked at a sleeping Noah, and snatched an unfinished essay away from Lightning. He looked at Beth, Katie, Tyler, and DJ, who had also fallen asleep. He took an unfinished essay from Sky, then walked over to Zoey, who was holding a notebook.

"What's this?" he asked. He looked at the notebook, which contained drawings of Chris doing the challenges from the show, and the campers hosting. He laughed at an image of Rodney hitting Chris with a barrel, and at an image of Cody blasting him with a leech gun.

He looked at Zoey, and held up the notebook. "When the season ends, I want copies of these drawings."

Zoey smiled nervously. "Okay."

Chef then looked at her seriously. "I still need that essay."

Zoey handed him a few pages. "Here."

Chef looked at Duncan's essay. "I love Master Chief Hatchet because he is really really really really really...this is just four pages of 'really's!"

"It's three hundred words exactly," retorted Duncan. "You can count them if you'd like."

Chef glared at him. He walked past Trent, who had fallen asleep. He slipped on Trent's drool, and fell on the ground.

"You missed a spot there, General," Duncan snarked.

"Boy! You wanna run fifty laps around this camp right now?" Before Duncan could answer, Chef heard Sam laugh. He walked over to where the gamer was sitting. "Is this funny to you, Chubby?"

"Heh heh...that cutscene was pretty good..." Sam mumbled. "Good thing I completed the objective on time, wouldn't want to get a 'game over' right now..."

Chef glared at him. "Does this look like a game to you?"

Sam's POV was shown, looking somewhat like it had in the leechball challenge, with Chef and the room in a retro video game style. There was a health bar at the bottom, and it was dangerously low. "Yeah, kinda."

Chef growled and stormed off. He slammed his fist on a table, startling Bridgette awake. "You nine slackers are out," he said, indicating Trent, Sky, Tyler, DJ, Katie, Beth, Noah, Bridgette, and Lightning. "The rest of you, get to bed and report to the laying field at 0700 hours."

"Excuse me, are you giving an advantage to whoever wrote the best essay?" Heather asked.

"No!" Chef shouted. "And if you try to suck up to me again, you're gonna be runnin' fifty laps around the camp!"

"That's not how things work at boot camp," Brick told her.

"Don't you suck up to me either, boy!"

* * *

The next day, the footage showed the remaining twenty-one campers looking at a mud pit. To the right were a climbing wall, four hanging ropes with ramps leading to and away, four hanging tires, and two pairs of huge axes hanging upside-down and blade inward. "You will all run this course until you can complete it in under one minute," Chef said. "Am I makin' myself clear?" he asked, very much in Duncan and Brick's faces.

"Yes, sir!" Brick said, enthusiastically.

"Crystal," Duncan said cockily.

"Cool," Sam said as the shot cut over to the Bass. "This level looks pretty fun. I just hope I can beat it under the time limit first try." He gestured to some vague spot above him. Scott and Courtney gave each other concerned looks.

"Go, maggots, go!" Chef shouted and they all began running the obstacle course. Shawn was first over the wall. Most of the others made it over fairly quickly, while some took longer, but Owen struggled to climb it, and ended up falling back into the mud pit. He went to try again, with the same result.

When B reached the tires, his butcher-like build proved his downfall. The tires were unable to accommodate his large frame; he was barely able to get his stomach through the tire, and once it reached his shoulders, it broke and dropped him in the mud.

"Master Chief, sir, we have a medical emergency," Brick pointed out to Chef. "And another one over at the climbing wall, I think."

Chef picked up Owen and B (not at the same time, even picking up either was a tall order even for someone as strong as Chef) by their shirts. "Ring the bell and report to the infirmaries," he told them. "Your tours of duty are finished."

"Poor guys," Brick commented. He saluted the two. "A valiant effort, fellow cadets."

"Back on the course, soldiers. Now! One false move and I'll be on you like stink on a poop wagon!"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

**Confessional: B**

B typed on his text-to-speech device. _"Maybe I should do less power-lifting and more abdominal exercises."_

**End confessional**

* * *

Clips of the obstacle course continued. Brick looking enthusiastic as he climbed over the wall, Alejandro climbing the rope, Zoey diving through the tire, a mud-splattered Duncan and Shawn crawling under the axes while trying not to sink in the mud under them, Heather and Courtney attempting to go through the same tire and falling in the mud, Leshawna climbing the wall with significant difficulty, Geoff slipping and falling off the rope, Scarlett tripping as she ran between obstacles, Sammy falling from something, Topher tripping and dropping into the mud pit, Scott getting tangled in the ropes somehow, Harold attempting to catch his breath and being trampled by Sierra, and Sam, sweaty and heaving, bumping into Chef's boots.

"Whoa, boss fight already?" Sam asked, woozily standing up.

"Chubby, you better keep movin', or drop and give me twenty!" Chef shouted.

"That won't work on me!" the gamer said, as the scene took on a pixelated appearance similar to a classic 2D fighting game. "Duck!" he shouted, doing so as Chef tried to grab him. He popped up, then giggled as he ducked again. "Duck! Punch!" He tried to punch Chef, but the muscular man caught his arm and squeezed, causing Sam's simulated HP to drop and making him yelp in pain. The video game graphics vanished, and the air around Chef took on a red tinge.

"I think he pushed him over the edge," Sammy whispered to Brick. Brick cringed and nodded.

"One night solitary confinement," Chef said in a tone that indicated barely-contained murderous rage, "in the Boathouse."

Several gasps were heard from across the obstacle course. Sam chuckled nervously. "Bad move, huh?"

* * *

A large fishing hook gleamed in the first shot of the Boathouse interior, and it was quickly followed by a shark jaw, and the briefest glimpse of something swimming in a barrel of water. Sam sat alone on a crate amidst the fishing and boating gear, and looked thoroughly exhausted. "Great. I got myself thrown in the dungeon," he said to himself. His eyes went wide as a wolf howled in the distance.

* * *

The scene cut to the remaining fifteen campers standing at one end of a large field of grass, of various lengths but mostly enough to conceal a person. "Let's try somethin' a little bit simpler," Chef suggested. "Y'all have to snake-crawl from one end of this field to the other, _without_ bein' spotted. If I spot you," he held up a paintball gun. "I shoot. And if I hit you, you're out."

He then stood in the center of the field, harshly punishing any camper who made a mistake. He hit Geoff when he moved just a bit too fast and accidentally gave away his position, and he hit Leshawna when her backside reached a bit too high into the air, and the grass failed to hide it.

Heather didn't really make any mistakes in staying hidden, and it was really just bad luck that resulted in her being spotted. Unable to see where she was going, she realized her mistake when she saw chef's boots in front of her. "Um, could you just, I don't know, say you caught me and let me be out?" she asked apprehensively.

Chef shook his head. "Got to make it official." He shot her in the arm and moved on.

Scarlett's glasses gave her away, as Chef hit her when the sunlight reflected off one of the lenses. Scarlett stood up, revealing that he had hit the left lens, and it had cracked. "I expect my lens to be replaced posthaste."

"Sure ya do," Chef said. Upon seeing the (quite frankly terrifying) icy death stare she was giving him, he took a step back. "Fine. I'll replace the lens. Satisfied?"

"Quite," Scarlett told him. "I shall provide my prescription when we return to camp."

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"As inconvenient as it is, I do need these glasses. Without them, I could not tell the difference between a human and a robot duplicate."

**End confessional**

* * *

Topher was crawling through the field when he bumped into Sierra. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Oh, hey Topher!" Sierra whispered back. "How are things on your team?"

"Just about to crack from the drama, honestly," Topher admitted. "Yours?"

"Kinda boring," Sierra said. "Nothing juicy at all. Maybe when the merge happens, things will get more interesting, but right now, nothing. Wanna talk about what's going on with your team?"

"Yes, actually. I'd like your opinion on-" Topher was cut off by two paintballs, one hitting him in the hair, and the other hitting Sierra in the midsection.

"Really should have kept your mouths shut," Chef told them.

* * *

Later, at night, the campers were eating half-empty bowls of a substance that Brick cheerily confirmed to be gruel. "How are you so chipper about this challenge?" Courtney shouted at him, incredulous. "Aren't you hurting right now?"

"Oh, absolutely," Brick responded. "My joints are killing me. But this whole experience brings back good memories."

Sammy frowned at him. "Good memories?"

"Well, good in hindsight," Brick admitted. "When I first went to military school, I was a total wimp. Couldn't even sleep without a night-light. And I was in terrible shape, too. I was relentlessly bullied, and I convinced my parents to transfer me to military school. It wasn't too hard, since my parents are both army veterans.

"Well, I got to military school, and you know what? It was even worse! The drill sergeants put me, and everyone else, through absolute hell! These last two days? They might be considered a bit harsh by the academy's standards, but days as harsh as or harsher than these two wouldn't be _uncommon._ My only consolation was that I wasn't being singled out like I was in regular school. The drill sergeants were harsh on everyone, and the other students mostly toed the line to avoid their wrath. Those that did bully other students were also the ones who got punished for 'insubordination.' And even then, it was a small comfort.

"But you know what? When I got out of that academy for the summer, I realized it had made me stronger. No more needing a night-light to sleep. No more waking up to discover that I had wet the bed. And when I was walking around town and the kids who used to bully me saw me, they just kept walking. The fires of that hell forged me into a man I could be proud of. That's why I'm so enthusiastic about this challenge. I feel like my performance reflects well on me as a person."

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"Okay, there was one part I left out. There was...an incident right after my first year...but that has no bearing on the question, so I didn't, and don't, feel the need to talk about it."

**End confessional**

* * *

Duncan looked at him. "Brick?" When Brick met his gaze, he said, "That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard." Brick just crossed his arms and looked away from Duncan.

"I thought it was sweet," Zoey said.

"Yes, the story was quite touching," Alejandro agreed. He then took a bite of his gruel and spat it out. _"Dios mio!_ How can this disgusting abomination be called food?"

"Like this. 'It's food,'" Scott replied.

"He means, 'How can anybody eat this?' Gosh!" Harold explained.

Scott just shrugged and took a bite. "If you don't want yours, I'll take it."

"Al's right. This stuff sucks," Duncan said. "Hey, anybody feel like ditching this crap for some real food?"

"I'm in," Alejandro told him. "Me too," Harold agreed.

"You had me at 'real food,'" Shawn agreed. "Gruel is all well and good in the middle of an apocalypse, but outside of training your stomach to handle gross stuff, there's no reason not to eat good food before then."

"Well, we've already got one teammate in solitary confinement, so we'll pass," Courtney said.

"Yeah, besides, you guys have no appreciation for good food," Scott added. Courtney gave her boyfriend a slightly disgusted glance, but shrugged it off.

Zoey gave Duncan and Alejandro a concerned look. "Are you suggesting we steal from Chris and Chef? Are you sure we should be doing that?"

Duncan smiled flippantly. "Come on, Red. It's for the good of our team." He gestured at another table, where the rest of the Badgers were eating bowls of the same gruel, looking miserable. "We can't let them eat that."

Zoey gave in after seeing the miserable expressions on her teammates' faces. "Okay. I mean, it's just Chris and Chef, right? It's not like we're stealing from _nice_ people."

Duncan looked at Brick and Sammy. "How about it, Captain? You gonna provide for your troops?"

Brick looked at Sammy, who shrugged, then said, "We're not going to be a part of this, but we won't try to stop you."

* * *

The group snuck up to the Craft Services tent, and hid outside the back entrance. Shawn counted down on his fingers, visibly enough for everyone to see.

"I mean, come on!" Chris said. "I am nothing without my-" he was cut off by an explosion from outside the front entrance as soon as Shawn reached 'zero.' "What the heck was that?" Chris and Chef ran outside to investigate, while the campers quickly and stealthily raided the tent's kitchen and grabbed all the food they could. They then ran as fast as they could to their cabins, to share their haul with their teammates.

* * *

In the Boathouse, Sam tossed an oar through a life preserver. "Ten points!" he shouted halfheartedly. He then heard the door open, and turned to see who was coming in.

"Hello?" came Dakota's voice. "Is anybody in there?"

"Dakota?" Sam asked. "Is that you?"

"Sam?" Dakota asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I spent all day yesterday holding up a canoe, so my videogame withdrawl was acting up again," Sam explained. "I made Chef mad, and he sent me to solitary as punishment. What brings you here?"

"Huh? Oh! Chris told me to dump this bucket of chum out," Dakota said as she held up a bucket of rancid mystery meat. "He didn't say why, just said I should throw it away as soon as I got here," she said, then she dumped the chum in the water.

"I think he meant for you to throw it on me," Sam admitted after she had dumped the bucket out.

Dakota groaned. "Don't tell me I messed up again."

"No!" Sam said hastily. "I mean, I'm glad you didn't cover me in chum; that doesn't sound fun. Who cares if Chris is disappointed?"

Dakota sighed and sat down next to him. "I don't know. It's just that whenever I think I figured out this whole 'intern' thing, I do something wrong! I mean, I'm still cute and adorable, even though my hair is green and I'm going to need new clothes to match it, but it's like, I don't know, that's just not enough anymore. You know what I mean?"

"Kinda?" Sam said. "I mean, I've spent all these years getting good at video games, and I thought that was all I'd ever need. And sometimes it has been useful, like in laser tag and leechball, but then there are the times where it was like all of that was working against me, like the Boney Island trip, or the Awake-a-thon, or this challenge, when it was like all of that was working against me. And we've been talking about getting rid of Tyler? Dude free-climbed a cliff wall in the trust challenge. I know I couldn't have done that. Lindsay? She's so-so at stuff, but she's luckier than I am, and that's got to count for something. And the others don't seem like they're having that problem either." He sighed. "Maybe we need to branch out our skill trees, y'know?"

Dakota looked confused. "Huh?"

"You know, we need to find some other stuff we're good at," Sam explained. "So we'll still be an awesome gamer and a very attractive and fashionable girl, but we'll also be more than that."

Dakota smiled. "So I guess it'll take more than just a makeover, huh?"

Sam shrugged. "Probably. But I think it'll be worth it." He looked at his striped shirt. "I probably could use a makeover, though." They both giggled.

* * *

When the Badger trio returned to their cabin with PB&J sandwiches and ice cream, they were applauded by their teammates. "Man, it's good to be eating real food," Trent commented. "We haven't had anything not cooked by Chef since...the runway model challenge, I think?"

"You are the _greatest_ , dudes!" Geoff said.

"Heck yeah, man," Duncan agreed. "After this challenge, I figured we deserved some real food."

"I wonder if any of those war stories Chef told were true," Bridgette mused.

Sierra took a small notebook out of one of her bags. "Note to self: look up Chef's military history for blogs."

"I am a little bit surprised at how good I am at this, though," Zoey said.

"Perhaps you shouldn't be," Alejandro said. "Work in Cirque de Sol requires respectable core strength, flexibility, and agility, and it seems you have not been lax in your training."

Sky took a bite of ice cream. "Tell me about it." She then launched into a comprehensive discussion of gymnastics training with Alejandro.

Duncan tapped Zoey on the shoulder. "So, are you glad we did this?"

"Yeah," Zoey agreed. "Did you know everything would work out this well?"

"No, but I had an idea it would," Duncan said. "I figured we could use some encouragement, and this did the job pretty nicely."

"Didn't you worry about getting caught?" Zoey asked.

Duncan smirked. "Worrying is for chumps. If you want to really live, you've got to know when to seize the moment."

Zoey smiled. "So, when you got put in juvie, was that a result of 'seizing the moment?'" Upon seeing him flinch, she hastily amended, "Was that in bad taste? I'm sorry!"

Duncan laughed slightly. "No, no, it's okay, I walked into that one. But yeah, I was being reckless. I didn't know when _not_ to seize the moment, and I paid the price for it. But I'd like to think I've gotten smarter since then."

"Attention remaining boot camp recruits!" Chef announced over the loudspeaker. "The next evolution of your training begins tomorrow, at 0700 hours! And if I catch the sucka who set off those smoke bombs and took my food, yo' butt is mine!"

* * *

The footage skipped ahead to the next day, when the eleven remaining campers hanging by their knees from the branches of one of two trees, as the rest watched. "What you are experiencing," Chef said, "is an ancient form of torture. By now, the blood has begun rushin' to your head." The camera zoomed in on his face as he described what the teens were going through. "The next stage is nausea, followed by dizziness and a flushed appearance, as the blood begins to pool in your eyes." The focus shifted to Sam, who was looking woozy and cross-eyed. "You may experience faintin' spells," he said, as the gamer dropped.

"Game over..." Sam groaned from the ground.

Over time, the campers began to fall. Harold was the next to drop, followed by Sammy. Duncan fell hard afterward, then Courtney, followed by Zoey.

"You can do it, Shawn!" Owen shouted.

"Scott, It's up to you, man!" DJ shouted.

"Don't worry, guys," Scott said. "Back home, my cousins and I would play this game, where we would hang over a fire ant hill until someone fell, and I...usually...won..." It was no surprise when he finally fell. Shawn followed soon after.

On the other tree, Alejandro quietly asked Brick, "How badly do you want to win this challenge?"

Brick frowned. "Are you trying to offer me a deal, or are you asking what I can give you in return, or..." he trailed off.

"Of course not!" Alejandro said, seeming slightly offended. "I simply get the feeling that a victory in this particular challenge means more to you than it does to me."

Brick admitted this was the case. "I just kind of feel that if I can't win this challenge, which I have trained for, it reflects badly on me."

"I fully understand," Alejandro said. "Well, while it may be a blow to my pride to allow you to win, I will have plenty of other opportunities, and as we are the only two remaining, it would make little difference." He then fell to the ground.

Moments later, the Gophers had taken Brick up onto their shoulders. "Brick!" Chef shouted. "Congratulations, soldier," he said as he saluted the cadet. "I'd go to war with you any time."

"I appreciate it, sir!" Brick saluted back.

"Glad to hear it, soldier!" Chef said as his team took him away to celebrate. "Glad to hear it." A tear rolled down his cheek.

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"That Alejandro seems like a really great guy."

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"While the victory would have been nice, I find gaining Brick's trust to be more potentially valuable. If I should have an opportunity, it will make getting him eliminated easier."

**End confessional**

* * *

While the others were distracted, Topher pulled Sierra aside. "I need your advice. I have to make a choice tonight, one that will determine the course of the entire game, at least for my team."

Sierra looked at him. "Go on."

Topher elaborated, "I have two choices of how to vote tonight. I can play it safe and vote with the majority, or I can risk it all on a tiebreaker. If it goes my way, I'll end up with all the power on my team!"

"Sounds like you want to do that," Sierra said.

"Yeah," Topher admitted. "Only problem is, if I do, I'm going to have to play rather dishonestly, and, well, I don't want to do it if it means you'll think less of me."

"Topher," Sierra said, looking him in the eyes. "That's just how the game is played. Sure, I helped vote Justin out for playing dishonestly, but that wasn't because I thought his gameplay was wrong, it was because his gameplay would have been a problem for _me_. Well, that and he was fake-flirting with Katie and Sadie, and that made me mad. Also, I was still angry at you, and it was easy to take it out on him," she admitted. "Hm, I guess I kinda hate him. My point is, if that's how you want to play, that's okay. Just don't start bullying people for no reason, or fake-flirting with girls, because then I _will_ be mad at you."

Topher smirked. "You don't need to worry about that. Even if I wanted to do those things, I have to keep up a good public image if I ever want to host this show."

"Well, you can't be much worse at it than Chris," Sierra said, in a less serious tone.

"I know, right? You saw how he got drunk right before this challenge? So unprofessional."

"And how bad the challenge before this one was? He could have at least paid for good parachutes!"

"And how he introduced the immunity idols in episode 16 instead of saving them for a future season? What do you think he's even going to _do_ to make the next season of Total Drama stand out?"

"And the forced teen lingo!" both said at the same time.

"We can only hope that not much made it in to the final cut," Sierra added. Both super-fans chuckled.

"I've missed being able to talk to you like this," Topher said.

"Me too, Topher. Me too." Sierra gave him a hug.

* * *

"I have seven marshmallows on my plate," Chris said at the Campfire Ceremony. "And these marshmallows represent the campers...that will continue to be...campers. Here." Scott rolled his eyes, while Tyler and Lindsay visibly looked nervous. "You've all cast your votes in the confession cam. If I do not call your name, you must immediately go down to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and go home. And you can't come back. _Ever._ "

"One of you will be leaving, but it will not be Scott, Courtney, Scarlett, Topher, DJ, or Lindsay," he continued. "Sam, Tyler, this is the final marshmallow of the night. And the votes clearly say...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"We have a tie!"

"WHAT?" Sam, Scott, DJ, and Courtney all shouted at once. They then all looked at Topher.

"What can I say?" the wannabe host said. "I _really_ wanted to see how the Great Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Tournament ended."

"Awesome idea!" Chris said. "Gentlemen, take your positions!"

Sam and Tyler then engaged in thumb-wrestling. Sam put up a good fight, his gamer reflexes aiding him. However, in the end, Tyler proved too difficult an opponent.

"And the winner of the final marshmallow is...Tyler!" Chris announced, to the applause of Lindsay, the golf-claps of Scarlett and Topher, and the silence of the other three.

Sam gave his friends an apologetic look. "Sorry, guys. I feel bad leaving when you still need me. But hey, making it this far was an accomplishment, right?"

Sam then walked towards the Boat of Losers, but before he could board, the group heard Dakota shout, "Wait!"

"Hey!" the gamer said with a renewed smile. "You came to see me off!"

"If we're going to make a habit of interrupting the departure of the eliminees..." Chris began, but was interrupted by Dakota tossing her red intern shirt into his face. (The heiress had already changed back into her pink outfit. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

"I've been working my butt off doing setup for you, my hair is now permanently _green_ , and I asked the intern in charge of editing, and he said I haven't even had much screen time since I started this crummy job. I. Quit."

"Alright, fiiiiiiiine. Get on the boat." Chris said. Sam and Dakota both boarded the Boat of Losers, and it sped off.

Courtney glared at Topher. "So, when you told us to vote for Tyler, this was your plan all along?"

Topher nodded. "Exactly." Courtney lunged at him, and the only reason she didn't tear him limb from limb is because Chef held her back.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"This is not how I wanted the first few days of my new relationship to go."

**End confessional**

* * *

Topher stood outside the door of the boys' side of the Gopher cabin and knocked. When Brick answered the door, he asked, "Can I bunk here for a few nights? I got on a few of my teammates' bad sides tonight, and I think it might be best for my health if I didn't sleep near them for at least a week."

"Certainly," Brick told him. "Truth be told, I'd appreciate the company. Unless you have a problem with it," he said to B. B simply shrugged.

"Thanks. You guys are life-savers. Possibly literally," Topher said, as he brought his bags in.

* * *

**Bonus clip:**

On the Boat of Losers, Dakota said to Sam, "You know, I've always kinda had a thing for nerds."

Sam looked at her. "I'm both excited and afraid I'm misinterpreting what you said just now."

Dakota smiled at him. "When we git back, do you wanna get dinner together, or something?"

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, yes!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but this chapter just did not want to come together. The last one was fairly easy to write, but this one was...not. While I thought it was fairly obvious that Brick would win this particular challenge, and I borrowed elements from both canon and the Total Shuffled Island version of this challenge, I kept getting hung up on small details. Regardless, I'm fairly satisfied with the end product.
> 
> So, the plot thickens on the Bass team! Honestly, they've been my favorite team to write ever since Ezekiel's elimination, simply because I love the intra-team politics.
> 
> I've always had a bit of a fondness for Sam. Though by no means is he an All-Star (seriously, why wasn't Brick in that season?), I do think his abilities are often sold short, and I do find his character quite likeable. Samkota is also a ship that I'm quite fond of. Still, Sam's elimination here made sense to me.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 30: Sam, the Gamer


	22. Finders Creepers

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode started in the evening. "Attention, campers!" Chris said over the loudspeaker. "It's time for your ultra-dangerous nighttime challenge! Report to the Dock of Shame immediately!"

The teens assembled at the Dock, with Scott, Courtney and DJ being the last to arrive. "Any luck?" DJ whispered to Courtney.

"No!" Courtney whispered back. "I searched all day and have nothing to show for it."

"Same here," Scott whispered. "Whoever that Charlie guy is, he's good. Maybe he'll be on season two."

* * *

**Confessional: Intern Charlie**

"Not while Chris is host."

Chris poked his head into the confessional. "What's that you were saying about me?"

Intern Charlie gave him a look filled with disdain. "I was saying that you're an awful boss, and after this season is over, I never want to see you again."

Chris looked like he might take offense, but he eventually said, "You know what? That's fair."

**End confessional**

* * *

A barge pulled up to the Dock, and Chris began his explanation. "It's time for us to return to Boney Island!" Several of the campers blanched at the thought of returning to the island, and Trent tapped his rabbit's foot to his forehead. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine."

"Your challenge," Chris continued, "a scavenger hunt for three creepy souvenirs. Your locations?"

Chef turned a film projector on, showing a map of Boney Island on the side of the barge, with three yellow letters around the island, and a giant purple sider in the center. "A haunted forest, a scary ancient cemetery, and an extra spooktastic cave. First team to each location gets a special clue. But watch out for booby traps. I really went to town with them, heheh.

"So move fast, and stick together. You'll be penalized for each player you lose!" he finished.

Scarlett raised her hand. "Have any safety measures been taken to ensure the local wildlife do not interfere with the challenge?" she asked.

"Nope!" Chris answered. "So watch for prehistoric beasts during the challenge."

"I see," Scarlett said, in a tone that conveyed that she was disappointed. "And the spider symbolizes..."

"Oh, yeah," Chris said as the camera zoomed in on the spider symbol. "There's some kinda mutated gigantic spider running loose around the island."

The camera took a moment to show the terrified visages of the campers. "Well, all aboard!" Chris shouted.

* * *

The footage flashed ahead to Boney Island, where the first team to run into frame were the Badgers. They stopped in front of a tree with a loudspeaker in its branches.

"All right, we're in first!" Geoff exclaimed excitedly. His excitement died, however, upon hearing an inhuman screech in the distance. Trent tapped the rabbit's foot against his forehead nine times.

"Welcome to the Haunted Forest!" Chris announced as the campers observed a small hole in the ground. "Your clue can be found at the base of this tree."

"Sweet," Geoff commented and reached for the clue, only to yelp in pain and withdraw his arm from the hole, a bear trap around it but holding the clue.

He handed the clue to Bridgette, who took it out of his hand as Alejandro helped him remove the bear trap. Just as the surfer was about to read the clue, the Gophers caught up with them. "Well well, look who we have here," Heather commented.

"Hey!" Sky protested. "Find your own piece of paper!"

"Let them have their clue," Heather told her team. "I have a plan." She ran ahead and motioned for her teammates to follow.

* * *

The shot cut to the Gophers at a clearing further ahead. "So, what's the plan?" Beth asked.

"Simple. Hide, then wait for the Badgers to show up so we can follow them to our first souvenir," Heather answered. She then dived into a thorn bush, while her teammates all hid as well.

The camera then panned over to the approaching Badgers. Bridgette read, "'Inside a knot is a nest, your souvenir lives with a pest, find Polaris to travel northwest?'"

Alejandro thought for a moment. He then pointed to a star. "That's Polaris, so I believe northwest is in that direction." He pointed to the right. "And Chris even left a path."

"Let's go!" Sky said, leading her team down the path.

Once they had passed, Heather climbed out of the bush. "Quick, follow them!" Her teammates did so, but B was caught by a strand of webbing. Since he was bringing up the rear, nobody noticed when he was yanked into the trees.

* * *

The Bass and Moose teams reached the clearing about a minute later. Both saw the trail that the other two teams had left, and rushed to catch up. However, Tyler had the bad luck to trip and fall. When his teammates passed him, he was pulled away by a strand of webbing.

* * *

The footage skipped ahead to the Badgers running through the woods, with Sierra in front, then Zoey, Sky, Geoff, Alejandro, Duncan, Trent, and finally Bridgette bringing up the rear. "Inside a knot is a nest...souvenir...something," Trent muttered to himself. "Bridgette, what was the rest of that poem again?" he asked without looking back.

Upon receiving no answer, he looked over his shoulder to see that she wasn't there, and stopped abruptly, . "Bridgette? Oh no, oh no, we're all gonna die!"

"Calm down," Alejandro told him. "She probably just tripped, or something. I'm sure she'll catch up with us soon."

Zoey wasn't convinced. "There are dinosaurs here, and some kind of mutant spider."

Alejandro cringed. "Well, I hope she just tripped. Because if something attacked her, I fear there may be nothing we can do." In order to change the subject, he pointed out a tree with a hollow knot in the trunk, and signs of a nest inside. "But I believe I have found our knot and nest. We'll get our souvenir, and if she still hasn't caught up, we can search for her."

Duncan wasted no time climbing up the tree, and reached inside the tree hollow. However, enormous squid-like tentacles reached out of the tree's other hollows, while an eye looked out of the knot.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"I think most of the species on Boney Island are some kind of prehistoric stuff, but I honestly don't know anything about the giant land squid. Maybe those were around before people, maybe not. It's not like they have bones or shells or anything, so if they had been, they probably wouldn't have left fossils."

**Confessional: Chef**

"I'm pretty sure that ain't how fossilization works. But I don't know."

**End confessional**

* * *

One of the tentacles picked Duncan off the tree and tossed him away. The other Badgers all involuntarily stepped back.

Alejandro was the first to react. "Please pardon us for intruding, but my team and I are in need of something that was placed in your nest earlier. If it isn't too much trouble, would you mind giving it to us?"

The squid seemed to consider the request, then tossed a key at him. "That was impressive," Sky remarked.

Alejandro smiled. "I have a way with animals."

However, Zoey then caught everyone's attention, and not in a good way. "Guys! Duncan's gone!"

Everyone then began to panic. "We have to find them!" Trent exclaimed. "They could be-" he cut himself off as the Gophers approached. "No luck here," he said. "Want to see if Bridgette and Duncan did any better?" The Badgers then departed.

"I think I see something in our team colors," Jasmine said as she pointed out the tree.

"Could be a trap," Heather mused. "We should send in our most expendable player."

Brick had clearly been on edge, but he took offense at this. "Hey, no one's expendable!"

Heather looked at Katie, then gave him a look that told him that she thought he was full of it. Katie didn't seem to notice.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I know I'm not in the best spot right now, and I need to make sure that if we lose before the merge, Katie takes the fall. But I also don't want her to realize that, in case we don't lose before the merge, and I need to align with her. It's not easy."

**End confessional**

* * *

"I'll handle this," Brick said, putting on a show of bravery. He then approached the tree, only to be grabbed by a tentacle and swung him around in the air.

Suddenly the two other teams caught up with the Gophers. Upon seeing the giant squid, Courtney let out a string of expletives. It took a moment for her to reach coherence, but she finally said, "How the [bleep] are we supposed to deal with this thing?"

Jasmine threw a rock at the squid, and nailed it in the eye. The beast bellowed, and retreated into the tree, three keys falling to the ground.

Heather grabbed the key. Then she looked around. "Where did Brick go? And where's _Bev_?"

"And what the heck happened to Tyler?" Scott added.

"Wait, Tyler's gone?" Lindsay panicked. "TYYYYYYYYYLEEEEEEEEER!"

"No, don't..." Scarlett tried to stop her minion from screaming, but too late. Woolly beavers started chasing them. The three teams ran as fast as they could, but Owen couldn't match the speed of the others. Just as it looked like he was going to be torn apart, he was hoisted into the branches of the trees by a large strand of silk.

* * *

The screen cut to the graveyard, where the Badgers were just arriving, huffing and puffing. "Guys, this is really not good. We really have to find Bridgette and Duncan," Trent said.

"Yeah, about that...I think this is part of the challenge," Sky said.

Her teammates looked at her. "How did you reach that conclusion?" Alejandro asked her.

"Remember earlier, when Chris told us that there was a giant spider here? Yeah, that wouldn't have been surprising, there are tons of awful things here on Boney Island. You heard about the beavers, and the pterodactyls, and the velociraptors, and you all saw the land squid. Chris wouldn't have pointed the spider out to us unless it was a specific part of the challenge. And that means they'll be at the finish line."

"That does sound like the sort of thing Chris would do," Sierra admitted. The team looked unsure, but seemingly able to continue the challenge.

"Now, for the clue," Sierra said. She opened a coffin in an open grave right in front of the entrance, revealing a worn piece of paper with three rows of five numbers, ten of which were black, the other five were red. The red numbers were 6, 6, 18, and 6.

"Not liking the three sixes, even with the 18 separating them," Trent commented.

Suddenly, the other three teams reached the cemetery. "I think...we got...away..." Jasmine panted.

"Wait, where's Owen?" Noah asked?

"I'm sure he's still alive," Courtney said. "Chris can't let him die, not without legal consequences. If Owen died on the show, it would definitely be cancelled. I think. Hey, are these numbers our clue?"

DJ flinched at the sight of the numbers. "'6, 6, 18, 6.' Not comforting."

"Well, we won't find them just standing around," Scott said. "Fan out and search!" The four teams each did so, everyone splitting up.

* * *

Lindsay was looking around the graveyard, and fell into an open grave. "Ew, grease," she said. "And I just washed this skirt!" A strand of webbing lowered for her. "Hey, a rope! Thanks! Aah!" She screamed as she was lifted into the air.

From there, the episode went into a montage of the contestants searching and being taken. Leshawna, Heather, Lightning, Alejandro, Scott, Jasmine, Harold, Shawn, Scarlett, Geoff, Katie.

Zoey saw a hand reach out of a grave. Then a red-haired youth in an intern's uniform pulled himself out of the grave. He smiled evilly, revealing a pair of sharp fangs. Zoey screamed and ran. The vampire chased her out of the cemetery, into the woods. Zoey eventually tripped and fell, and the vampire laughed. "Thought you could run, did you? Better say your prayers quickly."

However, before he could attack Zoey, a giant spider dropped onto his back. He struggled to get it off of him, while the spider attempted to jab one of its legs through his heart. It stabbed through his torso three times, each time missing the heart. The vampire eventually got the spider off of him and ran away as fast as he could.

"Hm, must have missed that one," a muffled voice said. Before Zoey could question where the voice came from, the spider wrapped her up in silk and carried her away.

* * *

Back at the cemetery, Beth found a gravestone. "Hey, guys!" she shouted. "I think I found something over here!" The shot cut to a headstone, engraved with a skull mark and a date. "June 6, 1806! That's 6, 6, 18, 6, right?" Then she noticed that Sammy was the only member of her team left. "Whoa, where did everyone else go?"

"I don't know," Sammy said. "I could have sworn Jasmine, Heather, and Katie were here just a minute ago?"

"Well, here goes nothing," Beth said, as she inserted the key from earlier into the oddly-shaped nose hole of the skull. She turned it, and a spring-loaded coffin sprang up and slammed into her.

"Are you okay?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah," Beth said. "Let's just check the coffin."

The camera cut to the interior of the coffin, showing a shelf full of flashlights. "Well, at least we have flashlights," Sammy pointed out. The two of them then departed.

Topher looked out from behind a tree. He whistled loudly at DJ and beckoned him to follow. The two of them made their way to the gravestone, and Topher prepared to unlock it. "I just have to do this carefully..." he said quietly, trying not to get flung. His attempt was a failure, however, and the coffin sent him flying.

DJ took two flashlights from the coffin. "I got the flashlights, Topher," he said. when he realized he was the only one left, he panicked. "Topher? TOPHER? Okay, calm down, DJ. You can finish this..." he ran away from the cemetery as fast as he could.

Sierra heard DJ scream. "Guys! Over here!"

Trent and Sky followed her to the gravestone. Upon seeing that the three of them were all that was left, Trent tapped his rabbit's foot against his head. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine."

Sky took a breath. "Well, here goes." She tried to open the coffin, but as the two before her, she was flung into the air. She got back up again. "Well, that hurt. Flashlights?" Sierra handed her one and they continued on their quest.

Noah and Cameron were the last to retrieve their clue. Noah tried to avoid the coffin by unlocking the gravestone from the other side. It worked, but the coffin hit Cameron in the head.

The two of them retrieved their flashlights and quickly followed the others.

* * *

"Welcome to your final destination," Chris's voice greeted Sky and Sierra at the entrance to a cave with flags on either side. "Your clue is just inside the entrance, and down the tunnel into total darkness."

Sierra looked around. "Wait, where's Trent?"

Sky suddenly noticed that Trent was not with them. "Where is Trent? I thought he was right behind us."

"I stopped hearing footsteps a while back, so maybe he stopped to catch his breath? I'll go find him. You stay here, and don't go in alone. The spider might be in there," Sierra said.

Sky nodded. "Okay, but hurry back."

Sierra nodded slightly and ran back down the trail. As Sierra left, Sky looked at the cave entrance. "I know I told Sierra I would stay here, but the clue could just be inside, and if the spider does live in here, it probably lives deeper in. Just step inside, get the clue, and get back out."

She steeled herself and entered the cave, and found a skeleton in an intern uniform with a note attached to its shirt. "It was just inside like I thought! Yes!" she cheered quietly. "Feel bad for this poor guy, though." She peeled off the note, and read it. "'By hook or by crook, the end is near if you look?' What does that mean? Augh!" The strand of webbing returned, catching Sky from behind.

DJ reached the cave next. He observed the imposing nature of the cave, and gulped. He stood still except for his quaking for a few seconds before going inside, still trembling.

As he went deeper into the cave, he found the same note Sky had found. "'By hook or by crook, the end is near if you look?' I'm looking, and all I see is creepy spiderwebs, and those two skulls with horns...wait, skulls with horns?"

He looked at one of the skulls more closely. "Wait, these aren't horns, they're hooks! This must be the last souvenir!" He took one, then he heard an ominous clicking noise. "I'd better keep moving."

* * *

A bit later, Sierra returned to the cave entrance, having found no trace of Trent. However, she did notice the four remaining members of the other two teams. "I thought you two were in the lead," she said to Beth and Sammy.

"We ran into some of the animals," Beth told her.

"I must say, I'm baffled as to how the local wildlife even continues to exist," Cameron mused as the five of them walked into the cave. "By all rights, if the extinction-level event that wiped out the dinosaurs somehow missed the inhabitants of Boney Island, the Ice Age should have wiped them out. And the Ice Age-era creatures should have died out once it ended. And yet, not only are there Ice Age-era creatures here, but also dinosaurs and pterosaurs! If I were to go into evolutionary biology, I could build a career out of studying the inhabitants of this..." he stopped abruptly upon seeing the skeleton, and gulped. "Time and place. Got it."

"It is pretty interesting, though," Noah concurred. "'By hook or by crook, the end is near if you look?' Who wrote this, Ayn Rand? Even Bryan Adams could write better clues than this."

Sierra opened her mouth angrily, closed it, opened it again, and closed it again.

* * *

DJ, terrified, walked hesitantly into a large, open area of the cave. When he did so, he was amazed by the mass of webs he saw. He noticed that there were many silk cocoons in said webs, with the heads of various contestants poking out of them. "Guys? That you?"

Many of the cocooned campers heard him, and implored him to get them down. However, one voice stood out. "Look out!" shouted Courtney.

DJ jumped forward, and just in time, as a web hit the ground right where he had been standing. Then the spider pulled itself towards him, and he screamed and ran. However, as he ran, he saw a second spider in a web in the direction he was running. "There are two of them!?"

He quickly changed direction and ran for what looked like an alcove in which the spiders wouldn't be able to fit, with flags on either side. He quickly ran in, and realized very quickly that it was hiding a large drop-off. He stopped just in time to avoid going over the edge.

Upon looking around, he saw a metal cable running from the wall to a point near the ground, and the purpose of the hook suddenly became clear to him. He hooked it around the cable, and zip-lined to the ground.

Upon reaching the ground, DJ heard Chris say, "And DJ is the first to arrive!" This was not over the loudspeaker.

DJ glared at him. "Chris! Why didn't you tell me there were two giant spiders?"

Chris shrugged. "One giant spider, two giant spiders, what difference does it make?"

DJ, shocked and furious, screamed, "IT MAKES A _HUGE_ DIFFERENCE!"

* * *

Sammy was the first to notice the skulls. "Does that skull look like it has horns to anyone else?"

Noah followed her gaze. Then he walked over to the skull, examined the "horns," and picked one up. "Hooks?"

Sierra took the hook from the skull that only had one. "Yep, definitely hooks."

Sammy took the remaining hook. "I guess this is the last souvenir. But why a hook?"

"Well, I guess we'll find out what they're for," Cameron said. Suddenly, he screamed. The three others turned and looked at him just in time to see the two spiders carry him and Beth away.

"There are two of them? I know our host isn't the brightest, but I thought he would be able to count to two!" Noah exclaimed. The three of them took off in pursuit of the spiders.

When they reached the cavern where the spiders were keeping their victims, the three of them could only stare. The cavern was huge, and full of webbed-up campers.

Cameron was hyperventilating. "Giant...spiders..."

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I'm mostly over my fear of spiders, but I don't think I can really be expected to handle these giant things!"

**End confessional**

* * *

The three remaining campers entered the cavern. "This is just like Shelob's lair," Noah commented.

Heather heard Noah's comment and looked at the three, and saw Sammy. "Hey, Sammy! Any chance you could get your teammates down from here?"

Brick's eyes were covered by the webbing, but he lit up upon hearing her name. "Sammy! You're alright!"

"I guess, but..." Sammy trailed off as she and the other two shined their flashlights at the two spiders. One of them was several meters away, while the other was about 1.5 feet away from Topher's head. Its mandibles opened, as if it was about to start eating him.

Upon seeing the spider, Topher's eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "No! No! Please, God, I don't wanna die!"

Suddenly, the fear in Sierra's face was replaced with anger. "Hey, giant spider or no giant spider, _nobody_ messes with my Tophy!" She threw a rock at the spider, causing it to drop to the ground, then punched it as hard as she could. The spider fell to the ground.

She then pulled Topher off of the web. "Don't worry, Tophy, I'll save you!"

Topher suddenly came to a realization that Sierra hadn't reached yet. "Wait, what about y-mmph!" The spider had not been incapacitated, and it shot a strand of webbing that hit him in the mouth, cutting him off.

Sierra yanked the strand, pulling the spider forward, and punched it again. Then she stuck it on the web, and ran for the alcove. The other spider went to pursue her, but in doing so, it walked over Cameron. Cameron, already completely terrified, suddenly snapped. He screamed and broke out of the webbing, punching the spider repeatedly.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"Adrenaline. Nature's super-strength formula. Someone really should bottle it."

**End confessional**

* * *

As Cameron punched the spider, it began to spark. Mechanical parts began to show as he broke the spider.

Noah had been frozen into in action. Lightning managed to snap him out of it by shouting, "Hey, nerd! Go follow Fan Girl! Don't lose this for us!"

"R-right," Noah said, and ran after her. Sammy went to do the same, but upon seeing Brick in the webbing, she stopped.

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"I couldn't just leave him behind. Or my teammates! Or any of my other teammates," she added, unconvincingly.

**End confessional**

* * *

Sammy went to get her teammates out of the webbing, while Sierra and Noah raced to the zip line, where Chris and DJ were waiting. Sierra reached the start of the zip line first, then realized she had accidentally dropped her hook after using it to cut Topher down from the web. She didn't even spare a glance for the lost hook, instead removing her belt and using it to zip-line down the cable. Still carrying Topher, she reached the end of the cable, followed by Noah. "And Sierra, Topher, and Noah all reach the finish line!" Chris said.

Sierra grabbed him by the front of his shirt. " _Two_ giant spiders?" she screamed.

"Hey, calm down!" Chris said. "At least one of them is fake!" He pointed to Max, who was sitting in front of a screen holding a remote for a machine.

"No! My _e-vil_ robot spider cannot be defeated by a puny living stick figure such as Cameron!" Max shouted. "You shall _rue_ the day you messed with me, Cameron! Once I become ruler of the world, you shall _rue_ like you have never _ru-ed_ before!"

Noah looked at the screen, and saw the first-person perspective of the spider, which was being punched by Cameron. Soon, the screen turned to static.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Originally, I was going to have an intern control the spider, but then I realized Max would do it for free. The choice was easy after that."

**End confessional**

* * *

"What about the other spider?" DJ asked.

Chris just shrugged. Upon seeing the horrified expressions of the other four, Max decided to tell them. "The other spider is just..."

* * *

The camera cut to Cameron, who, after thoroughly destroying the robot spider, had passed out from the adrenaline crash. Sammy was currently getting her teammates down from the webs, and freeing them from the webbing. A muffled voice could be heard from the spider.

Curious, B removed the "head" of the spider to reveal Izzy. Everyone voiced their surprise.

"Why the [bleep] were you..." Jasmine trailed off.

"Oh, the spider costume? Well, when I heard there was a nighttime challenge at Boney Island, I knew i would have to kill all of the vampires, otherwise they would attack everybody and drink their blood," Izzy explained. "I missed one, apparently, but he's probably passed out somewhere. I did stab him three times. Anyway, once I had taken out the vamps, Chris asked if I wanted to mess with you guys, so here I am."

Beth piped up. "I think we have a problem. There's a zip line here, but we only have one hook, and we can't all use it."

B put his hand to his chin and contemplated the problem. Eventually, an answer came to him. He walked over to the broken robot spider, and removed one of its legs. Beth asked, "You want us to use the spider's legs to zip-line down?" B nodded.

"Well, let's go. I don't want to risk the penalty for leaving people behind being small."

If Lightning's arms weren't bound by webbing, he would have facepalmed. "Sha-[bleep], the penalty!"

"What about them?" Brick asked, gesturing towards the members of the other three teams.

"They'll be fine," Heather said tersely. "If we have to, we'll come back for them later." With that, she zip-lined towards the finish line, followed by her teammates.

Once they reached the finish line, Chris announced, "And the winning team is...the Gophers!"

"Wait, what?" DJ asked. "But they came in last."

"Yes, but they didn't lose any members," Chris said. "You lost five, Noah lost six, and Sierra lost seven."

"Wait, but that means..." Sierra trailed off.

"Too bad," Chris said. "If you had rescued one of your teammates instead of your _boyfriend_ _,_ Noah would have lost this challenge for his team instead."

And of course, Sierra's pants chose that moment to fall down, giving everyone present a view of her underwear.

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris asked the Badgers, "So, fun night, huh?"

"Oh, it was _loads_ of fun," Duncan said, voice heavy with sarcasm.

"I was attacked by a vampire," Zoey deadpanned. "Let's just get on with it."

"Fine," Chris said. "Marshmallows go to Trent, Bridgette, Duncan, Alejandro, Zoey, Geoff, and Sky. Sierra, you are eliminated."

"Yeah, I kinda figured," Sierra admitted. She then looked at Chris, and smirked evilly. "Oh, one thing. Did I ever tell you about when Chris was in a _boy band?_ "

Chris forestalled her by shooting her with a tranquilizer gun. He then gestured to Izzy and Max. "Boat of Losers. And take her with you."

Izzy and Max carried her onto the Boat of Losers. Max said, "Let us depart. I have _e-vil_ to do." The Boat of Losers then sped away.

Chris looked at the seven remaining Badgers. "The rest of you are safe. _For tonight."_

* * *

Topher was standing outside the Gopher cabin, and watched the Badgers return to their cabin. Upon seeing who had been eliminated, his shoulders slumped, and he went inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely cannot stand Sierra, and I think she might be the only character in this story that I wrote as OOC on purpose. Aside from her character design, I cannot think of a single thing I like about her, except maybe the general idea behind her, and even then, Topher did it better.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 30: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 29: Sierra, the Super-fan


	23. Evil Dread

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on Zoey drawing in her sketchbook. Duncan looked over her shoulder, and asked, "What are you drawing?"

The camera showed the sketchbook, showing Brick next to a recognizably nonhuman figure, with stats and a short paragraph next to them. At the top of the page were the words, "Army of Me." "Hmm? Oh, well, I'm a big fan of _Jojo's Bizzare Adventure_ , and I thought it might be interesting to try to draw some of the competitors here as Stand users." She flipped through the sketchbook, and showed a few other campers with Stands, as well as Shawn with what looked like electricity surrounding him.

"Shawn doesn't get a Stand?" Duncan asked.

"Well, I thought about it," Zoey said. "But Shawn's obsession with the undead made me think, 'Hamon user.' And most people can't use both."

Duncan gave her a confused look. "I'll just assume I need to read the comic to understand."

Zoey shrugged. "It's not that weird. Stands are spirit projections that all have some sort of supernatural power that only other people that can use them can see, and Hamon is solar energy generated by proper breathing that kills undead monsters and can allow its users to walk on water." She then frowned. "I take it back. It is that weird."

Duncan nodded. "Definitely sounds like it."

"I actually have the entire collection," Zoey told him. "I'll lend it to you. It's pretty awesome."

"Do you have any more of those drawings where Chris gets tortured the way he tortures us?" Duncan asked.

Zoey showed him a drawing of Sam making Chris do the various drills from the boot camp challenge, and one of Chris webbed up with Sierra in a spider costume. "Finished that one this morning."

Duncan laughed at the images. "Nice."

* * *

At breakfast, Scott, Courtney, and DJ were the last to arrive at the Mess Hall, significantly muddied. "Any luck?" DJ asked the others.

"No," said Scott. "We looked all over, but no sign of those stupid immunity statues!"

Courtney wasn't paying attention. Instead, she was looking around the cafeteria. She enviously stared at Harold teaching Leshawna how to play Yu-Gi-Oh, at Lindsay and Tyler making out, at Geoff and Bridgette telling each other jokes, and Brick telling Sammy a very obviously embellished story of his time in military school. She then glared daggers at Scarlett.

* * *

**Confessional: Courtney**

"I get that we're not in a good position, but I really wish I could actually spend some time with my new boyfriend. Yeah, I've spent _time_ with him, but mostly just with DJ and Sam."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker. "It's _challenge time!_ _"_

* * *

The scene cut to the beach, where the beach was sectioned off into four sections, with a raised platform in the middle of each, on which the teams were standing. On the side opposite the lake, there was a platform where Chris and Chef were sitting on deck chairs. "Bonjour, mes campers!" Chris said, in a pathetic attempt at a French accent.

"Camp _eurs_ _,"_ Cameron corrected the host's pronunciation. "And why the French, anyway?"

"I was feeling whimsical!" Chris defended. "For your challenge today, our interns have buried 3D puzzle pieces _all_ over the beach, seven per team." As he spoke, the camera panned over the beach. "Find all your pieces to form a statue. Last to finish gets sent to the Campfire Ceremony."

"And let me guess, they're all statues of _you?"_ Noah asked.

"I wanted to make them all statues of me," Chris admitted. "But the producers said there hadn't been enough mental challenges. So they're all cubes in your team colors. Happy?"

Noah smiled. "Actually, yes! It's about time we had a non-physical challenge! When even was the last one?"

"Last challenge," Chris said. "The Boney Island scavenger hunt."

"Doesn't count, it was a race," Noah told him.

"Then in that case, leechball," Cameron said. "Before that, it was the Brunch of Disgustingness, and before that, the Capture the Flag challenge. We also had the Awake-a-Thon, the talent show, the Truth or Scare challenge, and the Phobia Factor challenge."

Upon getting a few odd looks, he shrugged. "What? This show was the first time I ever left my house. Of course I'm going to remember details like that."

"You've adapted well. It's easy to forget sometimes," Harold commented.

 _"Anyway,"_ Chris said, hoping to get the conversation back on track, "The Gophers won the last challenge, so they get shovels to dig with." Two interns tossed the Gopher team shovels, which most of them managed to catch, but Katie got hit in the head by hers and fell on her back. "The rest of you will just have to use your hands, I guess. Also, you have to build the statue on the platform. Which is going to be challenging because of the moats." Scarlett looked nervously over the edge, only for Courtney to "accidentally" shove her off the platform. Some of the sand around the platform collapsed beneath her.

"Which are filled with crabs," Chris finished. Scarlett shrieked as she struggled out of the moat.

"No big thing, for Light-o-ning!" Lightning exclaimed as he jumped off the platform. The moment he landed on the sand, a board sprang up and hit him in the head. He staggered backward, and fell into the moat.

"And you might want to watch out for booby traps in the sand," added the host belatedly.

* * *

The camera cut to the Gophers in a quick huddle. "Alright," said both Jasmine and Heather at the same time. "We should-"

"Um, what are you doing?" Heather asked.

"I was thinking we should split up the area into sectors, and each take one," Jasmine said.

"That won't work very well," Heather countered. "If we do that, it's easy to dig in the same place twice within the sectors, because keeping track of where you dug isn't that easy. We should start at the platform and dig in rings around it."

"And how are we supposed to really work together for that?" Jasmine argued. "We'd get in each other's way."

B took his text-to-speech device out of his coat. _"Then maybe we should start at the platform and dig outwards. Our platform is in the center, so if we each take a 51.5 degree angle, we can cover our entire area."_

"And what if the pieces are all close to the edge?" Heather challenged.

"Oh, quit arguing. We don't need a plan for digging, sillies," Katie said affably. She walked over to the lake, and started digging in the water.

The other six stared at her. "Better make it a 60 degree angle," Heather said.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Well, if it comes down to it, I'm not worried about being eliminated over Katie. Not tonight, at least. Not in a challenge that requires even a little bit of brains."

**Confessional: Katie**

"Why would we need a plan for digging? That's just silly."

**End confessional**

* * *

Over at the Bass section, as the team was leaping down, Scarlett shoved Courtney into the moat. Scott glared at her, but visibly restrained himself.

Scarlett then noticed that the rest of her teammates were just digging in random places. "What are you imbeciles doing?" she shouted. "We can't just start digging in random places. We need to dig from the edges inward."

"If you say so," DJ said. Scott helped Courtney out of the moat, and the seven split in different directions.

* * *

On the Moose team, Lightning dug up a rectangular purple object that went to a point at the end. "Sha-catch!" he shouted, tossing the object, hitting Harold in the head. Fortunately, the object didn't land in the moat. Unfortunately, Harold did. "Ah, my nuggets!" he shouted.

Noah, who had been standing next to him, tossed the object onto the platform. "Hey, be more careful!"

* * *

Trent abandoned a hole he was digging to dig elsewhere, only to fall when he failed to notice his pants had fallen to his ankles. He glared behind him at Duncan, who was chuckling.

"Dude, not funny!" he shouted.

"Says you," said Duncan. "I happen to think it was very funny."

Trent put his hand on the ground to push himself up, but hesitated. He started digging, and unearthed a bit of purple. He and Duncan then started digging furiously until they unearthed the whole piece. Duncan gave Trent a triumphant smirk, and Trent scowled and refused to meet his gaze.

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"And you thought bullying never paid off."

**End confessional**

* * *

Tyler was digging furiously, and making good time as well. However, he heard a snap, and saw a bear trap (fortunately, without teeth) around his wrist. He screamed and ran backwards, while trying to get the trap off of his wrist. He accidentally backed into the Gopher area, tripped, and fell, revealing a green object. He got back up and backed back into the Bass area, still screaming. He tripped again, revealing a red object, then got up and kept going backward. He suddenly stopped screaming, and said, "Hey, I got it off!" Then he fell into the moat with the crabs. Nearby members of the two teams rushed to dig the revealed pieces up.

The camera shifted to Chris, who said, "Two booby traps! Four puzzle pieces! And four deliciously evil moats! It's still anyone's game, but it won't be for long!"

* * *

"An hour has passed, and the score is still tied at one all, which raises a pertinent question," Chris said quietly. Then he raised his voice. "What is taking so long?" Several complaints about the lack of shovels or the sun were aimed at him in response, which he ignored. "Blah blah blah, whine whine whine," he parroted. "Hurry up! I have dinner plans!"

Topher uncovered another piece of the puzzle. "And Topher finds another piece, putting his team into the lead!" he said, in a hostly voice. He picked it up and ran it to the platform.

"And that's two for the Bass!" Chris announced. "Finally, we're making some progress!"

Over in the Moose team's area, Harold abandoned a hole he was digging to start digging elsewhere, and accidentally set off another springboard trap. He flew in an arc over to the lake, and landed hard on the Boat of Losers which was there for some reason.

"To be fair, when we tested that, the boat wasn't there," Chris said.

"As if you tested that thing," Chef replied.

* * *

The show went to a timeskip. Sky found a piece, then Beth found one. Tyler found a wasp's nest, and he got stung several times. Chris laughed as the wasps chased him into the lake.

Lindsay found a piece of the puzzle, then Leshawna found one. Brick found what he thought was a piece, but it was actually a box full of candy wrappers. "Chris!" he shouted.

"What?" Chris asked. When he saw the box of wrappers, he said, "So I had the interns bury a box of candy wrappers. What's the issue here?" Brick just scowled at him, and walked over to Chris's platform. He dropped the box in the trash can next to Chef's chair, then returned to work.

"Honestly, some people," he said quietly.

* * *

Sky was digging, and a boxing glove shot out of the ground and hit her in the groin. Chris frowned. "Not who I wanted to get hit by that trap," he commented.

Chef shrugged. "At least it hit someone."

* * *

Heather found a large piece of her team's cube. "Katie, stop being useless and help me with this!" she shouted.

"Oh! Okay!" Katie said. She ran over and helped Heather lift the piece out of the ground. The two of them carried it over to the platform and managed to get it onto it, but they lost their balances and fell into the moat.

* * *

Cameron noticed a lump in the sand. He stared at it for a few seconds before hesitantly touching it. Clothing burst out of it, most of which clearly belonged to Chef, but there was some women's underwear in the load.

"Eww! Chef's dirty laundry! Pretty stink-ay!" Chris shouted.

Cameron, frowning, shouted to his teammates, "Could you give me a hand with this?" With the help of Harold and Shawn, he dug a bit further, and pulled a small air cannon out of the sand. "Perfect." He then started messing with the air cannon.

* * *

The show timeskipped again, with the teams each finding a few pieces. Cameron effectively managed to convert the air cannon into a blower, and gave it to Shawn to use. It quite effectively blew the sand away, and uncovered multiple pieces of the puzzle much faster than the campers digging by hand.

* * *

The timeskip ended with the Moose having six pieces, the Badgers and Gophers with five, and the Bass with four.

"Hey, I found another one!" shouted DJ, and he rushed it over to the platform.

Scott stood at the border between the Bass's area and the Gophers'. He noticed a slight lump just over the border. He checked to make sure nobody was watching, and then reached over and dug it out. It was a small piece, so he was able to get it out of the ground easily. He dropped it in the hole he had dug, and swept the pile of sand that had previously inhabited it into said hole over the puzzle piece.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I really can't afford to lose this challenge. I know that if there's a vote, it's going to be me, Courtney, or DJ. I need to buy some time. Those immunity idols are well-hidden, but sooner or later, I'll find one. Then, it's good-bye, Schemin' Scarlett. But first, I need to not lose this challenge, by any means necessary."

**End confessional**

* * *

Jasmine had not noticed Scott dig out the puzzle piece, but she did see him sweep the sand into the hole. "Ay, what're you doing there, ya hoon?" she demanded.

"Digging," Scott replied.

"Don't try to bull[bleep] me, mate. I saw you fill that hole with sand," Jasmine said.

In an attempt to bluff, Scott took on the most condescending tone his voice was capable of creating. "You see, there was a pile of sand right here," he said, as he pointed to the spot that the sand had been in. "And I wanted to dig under it. But I couldn't, because there was a pile of sand in the way. So, I moved it."

Jasmine gave him the most skeptical look her face was capable of holding. Then she dug up the puzzle piece, and gave him a look that said, "I don't know whether to be mad, or just disappointed."

Scott shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

* * *

"I found the last one!" Owen shouted, holding up a yellow, L-shaped block.

"Up here!" Harold, who had already begun work on the cube, shouted back. Once Owen had thrown him the piece, he cracked his knuckles. "Now, observe my mad puzzle-solving skills." Within two minutes, he had finished assembling the cube, all the while humming the Tetris theme.

"And the Moose win!" Chris announced. "Really disappointed that I'm not looking at a statue of me right now, but hey, at least Harold's obscure talents came in handy for once."

"Hey, I'm talented! Gosh!" Harold protested. "You just don't appreciate my Mad Skillz."

"Well, the race for first has been decided, now it's the race for anything but last," Chris announced.

* * *

The next few minutes were a rush. The next person to find a piece of the puzzle was Zoey. Upon her announcing that she had found a piece, Alejandro said, "I had best get started on assembling our puzzle."

Topher found a piece next, and handed it off to Scarlett. "Just one more, guys!"

The three remaining teams rushed to find the last piece of each of their respective puzzles. After several seconds of tension (which may have been edited down), the three teams each found the last piece at almost the same time. Sammy found her team's first, at the corner of her team's area. Tyler found his a second later, closer to the center but still multiple feet away. Bridgette found hers at almost the same time, at almost the same distance.

Geoff wasted no time. "Give it to me!" he shouted, and grabbed the piece and ran to the platform as fast as he could. This led to the unfortunate and unintended consequence of him falling into the moat, but he managed to throw it to Alejandro before doing so.

Tyler, at the same time, raced Geoff to get the piece to Scarlett first. However, he was overenthusiastic, and he accidentally threw the piece into the crab-filled moat. When he had gotten closer, Scarlett stared at him. "Well?"

Tyler, to his credit, wasted no time in reaching into the moat. He fished the piece out of the moat, but while he was doing so, Chris announced, "And the Badgers get second place!"

Sammy was getting close to the platform, but it looked like it wouldn't be enough. Ignoring the crabs latched onto his arm, Tyler fished the piece out of the moat, climbed up onto the platform, and slammed the piece into the corner where it was clearly supposed to go...causing the cube to partially fall apart.

"Tyler, you imbecile!" Scarlett shouted, just as Chris announced, "And the Gophers take the bronze! Bass, one of your fishy butts is going home tonight!"

* * *

"Guys, I know I messed up, but please don't vote me out!" Tyler begged his three alliance-mates.

Scarlett sighed. "Tyler, we aren't going to vote you out. As much as you might deserve it for your _abysmal_ performance today, our majority is too valuable to discard."

"Exactly," Topher said. "There's only one option for elimination tonight: DJ."

"DJ?" Tyler asked. "I mean, I'm glad it's not me, but why DJ? He's cool!"

"Yeah," Lindsay agreed. "Scooter and Corrine aren't very nice, but even though TJ is friends with them, he's always really nice."

Scarlett looked thoughtful. "I would actually like to hear your reasoning as well, Tyler."

"Look, guys, I _know_ game shows like this," Topher defended. "Right now, the eliminations are getting pretty predictable for each team. Pretty soon, Chris is going to merge the teams just to nip that in the bud. And when that happens, DJ is the biggest potential threat. I can't think of anyone who dislikes him, and he's going to have an easy time making allies. We have to get rid of him, _now_."

After a brief pause, Scarlett nodded. "All right, you have convinced me. DJ it is."

The four of them went their separate ways. A short time later, DJ happened upon Topher. "Hey, man. How are you?"

"Definitely not happy about Sierra's elimination," Topher responded. "But I'm just going to have to keep going. I just have to win this game, then I can make all her dreams come true."

"I gotcha," DJ said. "So, you decided on who's going home tonight?"

Topher didn't answer. He just looked at him. DJ realized what Topher meant. "Oh."

"Don't take it personally," Topher told him. "You're just the biggest potential threat on the team. I can't afford _not_ to vote you out."

"Well, I guess I'll take that as a compliment," DJ said nervously.

"A twisted, warped compliment, but a compliment nonetheless," Topher agreed.

"Well, we're voting for Tyler. He's just going to weigh the team down. You could still vote with us," DJ offered. "I know Courtney and Scott are angry at you for voting out Sam, but I think I could get them to forgive you."

Topher shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

DJ shrugged. "I had to try."

"For what it's worth, I will miss you," Topher told him. "You're very easy to talk to, and I do really appreciate you giving me advice about my situation with Sierra. Nobody else on our team would have done that."

"That does make me feel a little better," DJ told him.

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony that night, Chris held his platter. "I have with me tonight six marshmallows," he said. "You all have cast your votes. Whoever does not receive a marshmallow-"

"Is forever eliminated from the competition. We know," a resigned DJ finished. "Just get on with it."

"Scarlett, you're safe. Courtney, Lindsay, you are also safe. Topher, and Scott, you are both going to see another day on this island.

"Tyler, you were _terrible_ today. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that you single-handedly cost your team the win. DJ, you didn't really do anything wrong besides not being in Scarlett's alliance. The final marshmallow goes to...

_"Tyler."_

"Yeah, I saw it coming," DJ said. "Well, I'll see you all later. Scott, Courtney, good luck out there. You're gonna need it," he said, before boarding the Boat of Losers. The Boat sped away, and Chris turned back to the six remaining Bass.

"The rest of you are safe. _For tonight."_

* * *

At the cabins, some of the other campers were having a discussion. "And that's why you should all be reading _The Dresden Files,"_ Noah said to the others. "There's only one _true_ great wizard named Harry, and his last name isn't Potter."

When the Bass returned, Tyler's presence and DJ's absence drew some confused looks. After nobody else said anything, B typed, _"If nobody else is going to ask, I will. Why DJ?"_

"Because team politics are the cause of eliminations now," Courtney replied. "It doesn't matter if you're _completely useless,_ as long as the right people don't want you gone. Now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to bed."

* * *

**Confessional: B**

_"Well, that's an idea I don't like. Glad I'm not on that team."_

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the hardest yet to write, and it's not nearly up to my usual standard. Honestly, I just haven't been feeling very inspired to write these characters lately, and I've also been busy with schoolwork, plus I've gotten very much into JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, and my point is, I may not update this story again until at least Thanksgiving break. I'm sorry; I know I used to have a very good update schedule, but it's just not working for me right now.
> 
> Thoughts on DJ? Well, in Island he was very likable. And while I might get some flak for saying this, I liked him in Action as well, despite his short run. I do find it believable that he would be getting homesick after being away from home for about three months, and it didn't take away from his character at all. Then World Tour happened, and he had quite possibly the worst case of flanderization on the show, including All-Stars. In any case, I think I made the reasoning behind his elimination clear.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 30: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 29: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 28: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart


	24. The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean

**Teams:**

**Gophers: B, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy**

**Bass: Courtney, Lindsay, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn**

**Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sky, Trent, Zoey**

* * *

The sun was rising over the lake's horizon, and the loons crooned off-screen. Owen was shown sleeping peacefully on a raft, then the camera zoomed out to show his teammates in the same position. It then zoomed out further to show the other three teams, also on rafts.

An alarm clock tied to a lake buoy went off, waking the campers up. "Wha? Where are we?" Sky asked groggily.

"A raft, apparently," Alejandro said. "At a guess, I'd say that Chris drugged our dinner last night, given that I am unable to remember anything after dinner."

"Sounds like something he'd do," Duncan agreed. "So, what now?"

Over on his team's raft, Topher hmmed. "I don't know about this. Sure, this is a very Chris setup, but I feel like there's something we're missing."

Scott thought about what he could mean. "You don't think there are _(gulp)_ sharks in the water, do you?"

Scarlett gave him a disappointed look. "Please, in water _this_ filled with junk? Not a chance." Scott visibly relaxed, and the camera showed that indeed, the rafts were surrounded by assorted junk.

* * *

 **Confessional:** **Scott**

"Scarlett thinks she's _so_ smart. Well, we'll see who's laughing soon. If she was _actually_ smart, she'd throw this challenge and get me voted out. It's what I'd do."

**End confessional**

* * *

Once Scott had finished his confessional, Chris and Chef, both wearing life jackets, zoomed up to the rafts on jet skis. "Morning, suckers! How'd you enjoy your turkey buttolini?"

Shawn shrugged in reply. "Eh, it was a little dry and kinda overseasoned. Could have used a bit more water and less seasoning." Upon seeing the confused looks he was receiving, he shrugged. "What? Just because I prefer to prepare for the zombie apocalypse doesn't mean I don't know how to cook."

"Well, be that as it may," Noah said, "Compared to the slop we have to eat most of the time, it might as well have been ambrosia."

Chef grunted.

* * *

 **Confessional:** **Chef**

"Ungrateful wretches. I had to overseason that turkey to mask the taste of the knockout powder! You should be grateful that you get turkey at all!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris stood up on his jet ski. "First things first," he said. "This is your _last_ challenge as the Gopher, Bass, Moose, and Badger teams."

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"Called it."

**End confessional**

* * *

"On an unrelated note," Chris continued, "the challenge itself.

"Your first challenge is racing to shore," the host continued, "by any means possible! The first team to get there wins immunity and doesn't have to take part in the second part, the second team wins a handy reward, the third team gets nothing, and the fourth team gets a heinous penalty before you embark on your quest to find buried treasure."

Heather scoffed at that last part. "I think our host is just trying to get us to do his work for him."

Chris frowned at her. _"For your information,_ you are racing to Boney Island, not Wawanakwa. Meaning the only thing you can take is the stuff _I_ put there in the first place. And even if it was Wawanakwa, why would anyone else hide treasure there?"

Heather conceded that last point. "True. No self-respecting criminal would ever hide their loot here."

"Anyway, more details at the beach. Game on!" Chris said, speeding toward the beach.

Bridgette saw some odds and ends in the water, including two kayak paddles, a wooden sign, and a pair of wooden planks. "One moment," she said, diving into the water to retrieve them.

Once she had, she said, "Okay, we have oars." She thought for a moment. "Sky, you and I don't really have that much upper body strength compared to our teammates. We can get in the water and kick from behind."

On the other side, Jasmine looked thoughtful. "Well, there are some loose planks in the water. We can use those as makeshift paddles. B, you and I can...B?"

B looked around at his surroundings, and seemed to have an idea. He used a nearby pole to direct a two-person motorboat with a broken engine over to their raft.

"Well, that's all well and good, Bev, but we can't all fit in that boat. And the motor is broken," Heather pointed out condescendingly.

B gave her an annoyed look, and took a wrench out of his coat.

From a bit further away, Scarlett observed the Gophers. "Well, while they're busy with that, we should focus on building as much of a lead as we can. Scott, Courtney, Tyler, you get in the water and kick from behind. Lindsay, Topher, and I will paddle with our hands."

"You know, it would probably be useful right about now to have two guys with huge, muscular builds right about now. Maybe one with orange hair and bad dentistry, and one with dark skin and a beard?" Scott said snidely.

"Not for me," Scarlett said quietly. More loudly, she said, "There's nothing to be done about it now. Right now, we just need to get to shore."

Seeing the Bass's system, Shawn hmmed. "Not a bad idea. Owen, Lightning, and I can push the raft from behind. Leshawna..." his eyes scanned their surroundings, until he saw an oar floating next to a life raft. He dove in, retrieved it, and gave it to her. He then pointed to Noah, Harold, and Cameron. "You three just, I don't know, paddle with your hands or something."

* * *

A short time later, after the other three teams had gotten a fair bit further ahead, B finished his repairs, having attached the motor to the raft. He turned it on, and it began running, and the raft started moving at a good pace. The others were impressed.

"Bev, I'm sorry I ever doubted you," Heather said sweetly. Even despite his annoyance at the nickname, B grinned and gave a thumbs-up.

"Even so, we shouldn't skip out just because we have a motor," Brick pointed out. "The other teams have a considerable lead. We should paddle as well."

Seeing the wisdom in this, the members of the team other than B all started paddling.

Further ahead, Owen started to panic. "Something just brushed past the underside of my belly!"

"It was probably just a fish," Shawn said dismissively. The camera showed a pair of eyestalks approaching the three from behind...until Owen farted, creating a large bubble that spanned the distance between himself and the eyestalks. After that, whatever was attached to the eyestalks swam away.

"Dude! Sha-sgusting!" Lightning shouted.

"Hey, it's a natural process," Owen defended.

"Dude, there ain't nothing natural about that stank," Lightning told him.

The eyestalks came up behind the Bass instead, who were a bit further ahead, but still behind the Badgers, and the gophers had almost caught up with them. Tyler, for once in a way that couldn't be attributed to his clumsiness, kicked them both by accident a few times. Angered, tentacles started to rise from the water.

"Giant squid!" Topher shouted, prompting his three teammates in the water to scramble back up onto the raft.

"Odd, most cephalopods do not have eyestalks," Scarlett mused. "Perhaps this species belongs to a different family, or even class?"

"Not the time, Scarlett!" Courtney shouted.

Lindsay shivered. "I don't like these things!"

"Relax, I have this well in hand," Scarlett said dismissively. She then ushered her teammates to the back of the raft, took Scott's whittling knife (prompting a "Hey!" from the farm boy), stood on the front of the raft, and threw the knife at the squid. It scratched the squid, angering it. The squid brought down a tentacle to crush her, but she quickly ran back, and the tentacle launched the six of them toward the island.

Five of them came up a bit short, but were able to swim the brief remaining distance ahead of the others. Tyler, by contrast, made a hard landing on the beach, right next to Chris. Next to the host were Chef, several interns with boxes, and a TV screen, and Chris was holding a bag.

The host laughed. "That was awesome!"

Topher grinned. "Well done, Scarlett! I'd say you qualify for MVP status this round for sure."

"Yeah, thanks, Scarlett! That sea monster was _so_ scary, but you beat it!" Lindsay agreed.

Scott rolled his eyes. "Fine. You handled that situation well. Happy?"

Scarlett smiled smugly. "Quite."

"I'm never eating calamari again," Courtney said.

Just as that exchange went down, the Gophers reached the beach. Heather harrumphed. "They just got lucky."

"Well, you got second place, at least. For this challenge and this challenge only, that's pretty good, right?" Chris said.

"True enough. Good on ya, B," Jasmine said.

"Anyway, here's your reward," Chris said, giving Beth a compass and map.

"How are the other teams going to find their way?" Beth asked.

"Good question," Chris answered. "Oh, you get this, too," he said, handing her a Ziploc bag containing chocolate chip cookies. Beth passed them out to her teammates.

The Badgers reached the beach next. "Aaaaah! End the suffering!" Geoff shouted, dropping the plank showing multiple splinters in his hands.

"Whiner," Chef said, but he got to work on his hands with a pair of tweezers anyway.

"Dude, you sticking with it was hardcore," Duncan commented. He had taken off his shirt and was using it to protect his hands from his plank. Zoey and Trent were holding the actual paddles, and Alejandro had the sign.

The last to arrive were the Moose. "Ooh, not so good," Chris commented.

"Well, the challenge ain't over yet," Leshawna said. "We can still pull ahead."

"You can," Chris conceded. "But it won't be easy with these," he said as Chef and a few interns placed heavy, weighted belts on the Moose players, with handcuffs on the sides. Cameron fell over, the weight making it hard to stand.

"Ooh, I would not want to be those guys!" Topher said.

"I know, right? Those belts don't go with _any_ of their outfits," Lindsay commented.

Chris looked at the Bass, now holding a remote. "Why are you still here? Just get on the boat. Me, Chef, and the interns will join you in a moment." He pointed to a boat parked about fifty feet down the beach.

"Anyway, as for the second part of today's challenge. It started out as a prank involving our previous contestant, Gwen, but it's turned into more of a rescue mission." He pressed the button on the remote, and the TV showed Gwen rubbing her head while in a wooden box.

"What the," she stuttered, looking increasingly panicked. "I'm buried alive? Again? Chris!" She pounded a fist on one of the walls.

"Gwen!" Trent shouted, panicking. He tapped his rabbit's foot against his forehead. "One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine. One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine." Once he had calmed down slightly, he shouted, "We have to save her!"

Sky glared at the host as well. "Burying someone alive is not cool, Chris!"

"Relax, she's fine. I gave her enough air for a few hours," Chris assured Trent. "And don't worry. I wouldn't leave her down there alone." The monitor showed Jo and Eva, also in boxes of their own. Eva was only just beginning to wake up, while Jo was still fast asleep. Chris chuckled. "I can't wait for them to wake up, realize their walkie-talkies are set to the same frequency, and they can't change it. The fireworks will be a spectacle!"

"You put Eva in there?" Cameron asked. "I mean, she's scary, but I kinda feel bad for her."

"Yeah, she wasn't that bad," Noah agreed. "Jo on the other hand...would it be okay if we just left her there?"

"No, it would not," Chris said. "I think it would be funny, but the lawyers wouldn't like it. Oh, and one more thing." He attached a metal detector to Lightning's back.

"A metal detector won't help us find a wooden chest! Gosh!" Harold said.

"No, but you'll be glad you have it later. Now, go, go go!"

Taken aback by the sudden shouting, the three remaining teams got moving.

* * *

Above the ground where Gwen, Jo, and Eva were buried, the audience was shown where the chests were located, and the mic picked up on Gwen's pounding on the chest.

"Ugh, where's my-" Gwen stopped muttering as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. "No service. Figures." She found a walkie-talkie in the chest with her. "Chris, if you're there, you have gone too far!"

Jo's voice came back over the walkie-talkie. "Ugh, cut it with all the noise, Astronema!"

"Astronema?" asked Gwen, confused.

"Power Rangers reference. Anyway, keep it down!"

Eva's voice joined the conversation. "She's not hurting anyone, Jo!"

"Well, if you're going to make noise, don't do it on _my_ walkie-talkie!" Jo demanded. "Change the frequency or something!"

"I don't think these change...wait, where's my MP3 player?"

"Suck it up! You're a big girl, Eva. You can go without music for a few hours!"

The camera cut away from the split-screen, sparing the audience the ensuing shouting match.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Eh, I'm sure they'll work themselves out."

**End confessional**

* * *

The Badgers skidded to a stop in front of a swamp.

"Ugh, this place smells worse than my ex's room the one time I visited and he forgot to clean up," Sky commented.

"Okay, so, now where do we go?" Alejandro asked Trent.

"We-well, we..." Trent said nervously.

"You don't know, do you?"

"No..." Trent admitted.

* * *

**Confessional: Trent**

"I was panicking! Can you blame me?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Well, no matter," Alejandro said. "We can just backtrack, and find the Gophers' trail. They have a map, so we can follow them. All that matters is that we dig up one of the chests before one of the other teams."

* * *

The camera cut to the Moose, sans Shawn, who were following closely behind the Gophers, just out of sight.

"I think I found my center of balance," Cameron piped up.

"Wait, where's Shawn?" Owen asked.

"Probably 'practicing handcuffed forest stealth,' or something," Noah answered. "Don't worry about him."

"But what if he's in trouble?"

"If he's in trouble, what would we even do about it?"

"...Good point."

* * *

Shawn was in the trees, separated from his team. He had managed to free his hands from the cuffs on the penalty belt.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"I thought I saw a zombie in the trees and went to kill it before it attacked us. I normally wouldn't take that risk because zombies travel in hordes, but a horde wouldn't last on this island. Anyway, good thing that I remembered how to dislocate my thumbs." He demonstrated by bending his thumb at an angle that it shouldn't bend, then popping it back into place.

**End confessional**

* * *

Shawn saw a silhouette of a person, and attacked. "Die, zombie!"

"Hey, stop that!" came a voice. Shawn stopped his assault to look at the person he had attacked.

The person was a young man with shoulder-length red hair, wearing a dirty and torn intern uniform (with a few blood stains on it).

"I'm just an intern that got left behind after the nighttime scavenger hunt!" the man protested.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you were a zombie for a minute there," Shawn said.

The "intern" laughed. "Well, that's a new one."

"Was that funny? It wasn't meant to be," Shawn asked.

The "intern" thought for a moment. "Probably not. I'm just _really_ relieved to see a human on this island. I'm tired of only having prehistoric beasts for company. I'm Nimbus, by the way."

"Shawn. I can lead you to where the boat to take us back to camp should be," Shawn offered.

"Please, lead the way."

Shawn took a few steps, but then stopped to examine the decomposing carcass of a velociraptor. Behind him, Nimbus's eyes turned red, and he grinned, revealing fangs.

The vampire snuck up behind Shawn, intending to bite him, only to get water splashed in his face. Where the water hit him, his face burned, as if the water had been boiling oil.

"I knew it!" Shawn shouted, holding up one of the raptor's claws and attempting to finish Nimbus off, but the vampire escaped.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"It was the teeth that gave Nimbus away. Nobody's teeth could be that white after two days without brushing. Also, the bite marks on the raptor confirmed it. Anyway, now that I know vampires exist, I'm going to have to add UV lights to my zombie bunker. I won't keep them running all the time, but, you know, just to make sure that any stranger I decide to shelter in my bunker isn't a vampire in disguise. I don't want to be safe from the zombies only to get my blood drained by an opportunistic blood-sucker."

**End confessional**

* * *

The camera cut to the Gophers, who were making their way across the island, when the map directed them into a swamp. In their path was a very large alligator. The alligator roared at them, causing several of the Gophers to flinch back.

Not Jasmine. "You beauty!" she whispered. then she charged it and shouted, "I'll handle the gator! You get across!" As she charged, she took off her belt, then looped it around the alligator's snout with one hand. She used the other to grab its waist and hoist it out of the water.

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"I've always wanted to do that!"

**End confessional**

* * *

While Jasmine had the alligator under control, the Gophers forded cross the swamp, and the Moose took the opportunity to follow. Jasmine was surprised, but she held onto the alligator.

Once the Moose had all forded across, Jasmine let the alligator go and joined the two teams on the other side. When she looked at the other team, she saw only six people. "Where's Shawn?" she asked.

"We got separated," Cameron told her.

Just then, Shawn ran up to the other side of the swamp. He looked at the alligator for a few seconds, then took a running leap, landing on its back. He used it as a makeshift bridge, then leaped from it to the other side of the swamp. Not wishing to be bothered any longer, the gator swam away.

"Sick, mate," Jasmine said, impressed.

"How did you get out of your cuffs?" Harold asked.

"Oh, I just dislocated my thumbs, slid them out, then popped them back in," Shawn said.

"Awesome," Harold said.

"Well, we should get moving," Sammy said. "Gwen, Jo, and Eva are still buried."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I wanted to tell them to find their own map, but they probably would just have hidden ahead of us, waited, and then followed us again. I guess it doesn't matter, because person for person, we can dig faster than them."

**End confessional**

* * *

The camera cut back to the split-screen of the three girls in the chests. Jo and Eva were shouting at each other, while Gwen was looking more and more annoyed.

"And you call yourself tough! You can't even be within ten feet of a bat without freaking out!"

"Well, I don't spend every waking hour barking orders at people!"

"Well, I didn't get suckered by a weaselly little blackmailer!"

"No, you got voted out because of your own incompetence as a leader! That's not better!"

"Take. That. _Back."_

"Can't. Wouldn't."

"You know, I elected myself leader because I know how to motivate people. But that doesn't mean I don't know how to crush them."

"Your threats don't scare me. Not when I know what you're really like."

"Oh, for Heaven's sake, both of you _shut up!_ _"_ Gwen shouted.

* * *

**Confessional: Gwen**

"Those two just wouldn't stop fighting! I even tried taking the batteries out of my walkie-talkie, but it had one of those panels held in place by a tiny screw, and I didn't have a tiny screwdriver. Somehow, I got buried alive-my worst fear-and _they_ managed to be the worst part of the experience!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Up above ground, the Gopher and Moose teams were just arriving in the clearing under which the three were buried. Brick held a number of thorny vines out of the way of the teams as they ran in.

"Gee, thanks, Brick!" Katie said.

"No problem, just...taking one for the team," Brick said, obviously in pain.

"You know, we could have just gone around," Noah told him.

"And make the girls Chris buried wait longer?" Brick asked. Nobody really felt like arguing with him.

"Where sha-are they buried?" Lightning wondered.

"More importantly, how are we supposed to dig with these belts on, unless...the metal detector! We're supposed to use it to find the key!" Cameron realized.

While the Moose searched for the key, the Gophers searched for the chests. "How are we supposed to find them?" Sammy asked.

Heather had an idea. Facing the ground, she shouted as loudly as possible, "THE OLYMPICS ARE FOR SUCKERS WHO SUFFER FROM CRIPPLING OVERSPECIALIZATION!"

"HEY!" Two voices shouted from different places in the ground. A third shouted, "WE'RE SAVED!"

The nearest was one of the ones who took offense, and the seven members of the Gophers started digging. Meanwhile, the Moose had found a key ring with two keys on it. "What do you think the big one is for?" Cameron asked.

"Probably the chest. Now take these belts off of us!" Leshawna said. Shawn proceeded to do so, and they started digging up the chest that probably contained Gwen.

At the same time, the Badgers arrived. "Where's Gwen?" Trent panicked.

"Don't worry," Alejandro told him. "Spread out and search, and do it fast."

The Gophers managed to dig the chest they had found up first, only to find that it was locked. Wasting no time, B retrieved a small toolkit from inside his coat.

"I found something!" Sky said, leading her team to a spot in the sand. Her teammates all immediately started digging.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"I knew they would be able to dig faster than us. Everyone left on the Badgers has more athletic ability than me, Cameron, or Harold. And then I had a moment of brilliant inspiration.

"Though I did momentarily forget that we were the ones with the key. Ah well, it helped me avoid manual labor. That's what really matters."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Don't worry, Gwen, we'll get you out of there!" Noah shouted.

"Gwen!" Hearing Noah's words, Trent abandoned his team and started helping the Moose dig.

"Trent, what are you doing?" Duncan shouted. "Get back here!"

Meanwhile, B finished picking the lock on the chest, and Eva got out. "You're a dead man, McLean! I will find you, and they will never be able to identify what's left of you!"

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Better not make threats like that on TV."

**End confessional**

* * *

Even with Trent helping the Moose instead of his own team, the two teams both uncovered the treasure chests at about the same time. However, the Badgers found that they couldn't open theirs. "It's locked!"

Shawn unlocked the chest that his team (plus Trent) had dug up, and Trent helped Gwen out. "Gwen, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, no thanks to Chris," she said.

"Trent!" Duncan shouted at him while attempting to use his pocket knife to pick the lock. "You just cost us the challenge!"

"Let me try," Alejandro offered, taking a pin out of his hair. After about a minute, he finished picking the lock. A very angry Jo burst out of the chest.

"It's about time! Where is McLean? I'm gonna tear him limb from limb!"

Chris, on the barge that he had use to transport the campers two episodes ago, pulled up to the beach, and the interns let down the gangplank.

"You're going to pay!" Eva shouted, and she and Jo charged toward the boat, only for them to be stopped in their tracks by tranquilizer darts.

"Am I going to have to tranq you too?" Chris asked Gwen, who just glared and shook her head in response.

"Okay then. All aboard! And Badgers, I will see you at elimination.

* * *

That night at the elimination ceremony, Chris said, "Okay, time to send one of you packing, for good. I have preparations for the merge to make, so let's make this Campfire Ceremony a quick one. Marshmallows go to Bridgette, Duncan, Sky, Geoff, Alejandro, and Zoey.

"What can I say, Trent? Maybe if you had used your brain today just a bit, instead of acting on impulse, you wouldn't be in this position.

"I mean, it only took about a minute for Alejandro to pick that lock, and the Moose aren't nearly as athletic on average as your team, so even with the Moose having the key, if you had concentrated on digging with your team, you could have opened your treasure chest first.

"Then there's you getting your team lost in the beginning to consider-"

 _"I get it!"_ Trent shouted. Then he turned to his team. "Sorry, guys."

"We forgive you," Alejandro told him. "Your lapse in judgement is perfectly understandable. Still, you understand we had to vote you out."

"Yeah, if we're being honest, I voted for myself too," Trent said. "I let you guys down."

He then walked down the Dock of Shame, and onto the Boat of Losers.

Chris turned to the others. "The rest of you are safe. _For tonight."_

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"And we have reached our halfway point. Twenty-six campers have been eliminated, twenty-six remain. Who will thrive, and who will fall victim to the merge? Find out next time, on Total. Drama. Island!"

Chris poked his head into the confessional. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing my hosting skills?"

"Well, don't. You don't have what it takes." He then exited and slammed the door.

Topher rolled his eyes. "Well, what does _he_ know?"

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update, but between school and a general lack of inspiration for this chapter in particular, this just wasn't coming together. The next chapter should be updated sooner, I promise.
> 
> As for my thoughts on Trent, I'm sorry, but I just don't like the guy. I don't exactly hate him; as bland as he is, he's still not on the level of atrocious writing that Devin and Carrie represent. But honestly, he was so little of a character in his own right that I thought his characterization in Action was an improvement.
> 
> Anyway, please leave reviews; they give me motivation to continue working on this fic. And also, this fic now has a TVTropes page. Please, go add to that.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> 52: Dave, the Germaphobe
> 
> 51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> 49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
> 
> 48: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 47: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
> 
> 44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> 42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> 38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
> 
> 38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 36: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 33 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 33 (tie): Aiden, the Hate Sink
> 
> 32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 30: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 29: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 28: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 27: Trent, the Musician


	25. No Pain, No Game

**Remaining players: Alejandro, B, Beth, Brick, Bridgette, Cameron, Courtney, Duncan, Geoff, Harold, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Leshawna, Lightning, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Shawn, Sky, Topher, Tyler, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the twenty-six campers eating lunch. Noah took a bite of the lasagna Chef had served. "Huh, the food actually tastes like food today."

"I'm telling you, Scarlett cannot be trusted," Courtney whispered to Lightning.

"Girl, Lightning just wanna eat in peace," Lightning responded.

"Okay, but keep it in mind. Just look at her. Right now, she's probably thinking about how she's going to take us all down, one by one," Courtney said before moving on.

Tyler and Scarlett had just gotten served. Tyler inhaled deeply and said, "Mmm, lasaga."

"It's pronounced 'lasagna,'" Scarlett told him.

Chris burst into the Mess Hall. "Challenge time!"

As a result of this, Tyler dropped his tray. "My lasaga!"

* * *

Chris led the campers to the amphitheater, where two sets of seating were located, that looked like a combination of bleachers and desks. One had the Gopher and Bass symbols on it, while the other had the Moose and Badger symbols. "Please be seated, according to your former teams," Chris said.

"Okay, but why?" Courtney asked as they complied. "Why don't we all just take seats randomly?"

"I'll get to that in a moment," the host told her. Once they had all taken seats, he explained. "These are your new teams. Gophers, Bass, your teams have been merged into one. Moose, Badgers, ditto."

"Wait, _what?"_ went the general reaction.

"I thought you said the teams were merging," Noah said.

"Indeed. You made a point of mentioning it quite a bit," Alejandro agreed.

"Hey, I just said that last challenge would be your last one as the four previous teams. I never said that it would be your last one in teams at all," Chris said. "It's a misleading but true statement. An excellent way to subvert audience expectations."

"Actually, considering how downright chaotic a merge of twenty-six would be, I don't think it's that much of a surprise," Topher told the host. Several of the others looked at him incredulously. "What? I used to watch Chris's shows all the time! He thinks pulling cheap surprises like this is peak entertainment!"

"Are you really saying that you weren't surprised at all?" challenged Jasmine. "Because I'm calling BS."

"No, I was surprised, just not as much as I would have been if this twist was executed better," Topher said.

"Excuse me, who here is the host?" Chris asked snidely. "That's right, _me._ If anyone here knows what audiences will expect, I do. So shut up."

"For now, you're the host," Topher muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Chris asked.

"Nothing important."

"That's what I thought," said the host. "Anyway, after this challenge, both teams will decide on their team names.

"Also, in the spirit of competition, I decided to let a few players have a second chance at the game, by popular demand." Chef held back the curtain, and the first to walk out was Jo.

"I'm back and better than ever, maggots!" Jo shouted, and every single one of the former members of the Moose team groaned.

"I thought you said we couldn't come back. Ever," Noah asked Chris.

The host tried to look guilty and failed. "Yeah, about that...I lied."

"But this guy?" Lightning complained. "Did sha- _anybody_ like him?"

"Well, _I_ certainly did," Chris said. "Also back, we have-"

"Howdy, everyone!" Sugar shouted as she ran out from backstage.

"Oh, sure, bring back the girl who performed the atrocious rap number," Heather said sarcastically. "That's _sure_ to bring the fans."

"Hey, mah rappin' is _not_ 'atrocious,'" Sugar said angrily. "Ah'll have you know it won an award back home for best vocal performance."

"Against what, two pieces of Styrofoam being rubbed together and a squeaky bus brake?" Heather asked.

"The judges said it was even better'n Chingy," Sugar told her as matter-of-factly as possible.

Heather smiled. "I rest my case."

"You better. You try'n keep it goin', I'll have to hu-miliate ya," Sugar told her, thinking she had scored a victory in their battle of words.

"Ahem. Anyway, we also brought back these two," Chris said, as Dawn and Dave walked out from behind the curtain.

"I just want to say that I apologize for being rude on my first day," Dave said. "I don't really take surprises well, and, well, the campground was an unpleasant one."

Dawn looked at Dave. "You know, you should really talk to a psychiatrist about your OCD," she told him. Dave just side-stepped away from her.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I didn't really leave under the best of circumstances last time, and I don't really think I represented myself very well during my initial time here. I felt that I needed to try again, to prove that I'm not the kind of girl to break down in the face of adversity."

**Confessional: Dave**

"Does she weird anyone else out?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"To our four returnees, take a seat with the combined team whose members did _not_ vote you out," Chris said.

Dave took a seat in the front row of his new team's seating quietly, but Jo felt the need to hurl insults. "Prepare to be humiliated, _especially_ those seven numskulls who voted me out! I'll show you all what a real competitor can do!"

"Bring it on!" shouted Leshawna.

Sugar and Dawn took their seats in the other seating section. When they sat down, Lightning scowled at them.

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"Man, why'd Chris let them come back? They didn't do anything to sha- _earn_ their spot on the team like the rest of us did. Cow Girl got voted out..." he counted on his fingers, "fourth, I think. And Creepy Girl got voted out some time later. We should vote them out first."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Welcome to your next challenge!" Chris told them. "The time-honored game of Say Uncle! You are all about to be put through tests of endurance so insane that some of 'em sent our interns to the emergency room!" Each row of campers was shown, with varying degrees of fear on their faces. "If you back down from this challenge, or do not last the required ten seconds, you will be eliminated from the challenge. The winning team will not only be safe from elimination, but each member will win a $100 gift card for Spaghetti Heaven!"

The camera cut to a plate of spaghetti being twisted by a fork. "Pasta so good, it should be canonized by the Pope."

Cut back to Chris, who gestured to Chef, who was wearing a hockey mask and holding a butcher's knife and a deck of cards, as well as standing by the slot machine they had used to determine who would participate in challenges before. "Alright," exclaimed the host, "Let's do this!" Chef pulled the lever, and the machine stopped on Alejandro's face.

"Alejandro, you're up first! Take one of the cards to select your torture!" A tune reminiscent of a game show played in the background, and Alejandro's face broke into a sweat. Hesitantly, he picked up a card. "Lake leech bath?" he said, afraid. Chris grinned evilly.

The footage cut ahead the two of them standing side-by-side. "Our interns spent the past few weeks collecting the largest, slimiest, blood-suckingest leeches from the lake, and put them all in this barrel," Chris said as he showed Alejandro a barrel with a large amount of leeches in the water within. "All you have to do is get in the barrel and stay in for ten seconds."

Alejandro cringed, but he managed to climb in the barrel. _"Dios mio!"_ he shouted as the timer started. Over the course of the ten seconds, the charmer began to look more drained. Eventually, though, the timer reached ten seconds and a bell rang, prompting Alejandro to launch himself out of the barrel.

"And Alejandro moves to the next round!" Chris announced. "Isn't this fun?"

As Alejandro was removing the leeches, he sarcastically groaned, "Truly, it is the joy of a lifetime."

Sugar picked a leech off of his back. "I'm gonna fry you up, little feller. With butter 'n' bread crumbs. Mmm-mmm!" she told it. She then took out a ziploc bag from her pocket and put the leech inside. Alejandro looked very disturbed.

"O-kay," Chris said, grossed out.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"Why would you do that? Why would anyone do that?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chef pulled the lever again. "Up next, we have...Samey!" said Chris. He drew a card. "Standing on hot coals!"

"Actually, can I take this one?" Brick said.

"Brick, I thought we agreed you weren't going to try to shoulder extra responsibilities for me," Sammy told him. "And don't worry. It can't be worse than the time Amy made me stand up on the stove to get our Halloween candy out of the cabinet, then turned it on."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Brick and I really hit it off, but we decided that we weren't actually going to start thinking about dating until after the show was over. I watch shows like this sometimes, and couples formed on them tend to be put under a lot of strain by the competition."

**End confessional**

* * *

"It's not that," Brick admitted. "I actually think it would help with my athlete's foot."

"Gross, dude," Chris said. "But it's fine by me. However, if you fail this one, you're both out. Understand?"

"Yes, sir!" Brick shouted, saluting.

Cut to Brick and the host standing behind a tray of hot coals. "Please remove your socks and shoes before stepping in the coals," the host said.

Brick removed his boots, then his socks. Upon the reveal of his feet, several of the others present gagged, and Dave just flat-out passed out.

"Yeesh, man, don't you ever wash your feet?" Chris asked.

* * *

**Confessional: Dave**

The confessional simply showed Dave curled up into a ball, shaking and rocking back and forth. Eventually, he spoke. "How can any human being live like that?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick stepped in the coals, and flames flared up on his feet, though they died down quickly. Brick didn't even seem to be in any pain; he just sighed as if the experience felt soothing. By the time he showed any visible signs of discomfort, nine seconds had already passed, and he made it through the tenth second easily.

"Well, you didn't fail your challenge, you freak-job," Chris said. "But Dave is out because I think you broke him."

The chair Dave was sitting in was immediately swapped out for a stockade. Dave didn't even seem to notice.

Brick went to pick up his socks and boots, but Chef snatched them away and gave him a pair of sandals. "Hey, those are mine!" Brick shouted.

"I'll get you a new pair," Chef told him. "But you can't wear these. They're a health hazard."

"But...those are my first ever pair of combat boots!" Brick complained.

"That explains the smell," Chef said. "And the mold. And the rotting insides."

"Okay, you've made your point," Brick admitted, putting on the sandals.

"Well, you completed your challenge without complaining," said Chris. "So you get to choose who gets to go next. Take a card."

"Can I choose not to choose?" Brick asked.

"Nope!"

"Okay," Brick said, resigned. He took a card from the deck. "Turtle puck shots?"

"Hey," Jo whispered to him. "Corporal Foot-Fungus. Over here."

Brick let her whisper in his ear. "If you say so. You were on their team, after all," he replied. Then he spoke up. "I will have Harold take this one."

Harold stepped up from his seat. "You got this, Harold, baby," Leshawna cheered him on.

Chris then told him, "Oh, and just so you know, if your victim lasts the whole ten seconds, you get eliminated instead."

The buzzer went off, starting the time, and Chef started launching snapping turtles at Harold. Harold dodged and dodged, only getting bitten a few times before the buzzer went off. "Like a boss!" he shouted, before one last turtle shot towards him and bit him in the groin. "Ow! My nuggets!"

"Well, since Harold didn't complain, I guess that means you're out," Chris said to Brick. Brick sighed and allowed himself to be put in the stockade.

* * *

**Confessional: Jo**

"[bleep]! That was meant to be an ironic elimination! But you know what, forget it! Screw irony!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Chef pulled the lever. "Next is...Scarlett! With marshmallow waxing!"

"Sounds easy enough. I personally have never had a waxing done before, but a fair number of other people have. It cannot be _that_ painful."

* * *

"YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILE! BE MORE CAREFUL!"

However, despite her pained shrieking, she made it through.

"Okay, up next...Noah! With Tibetan throat singing!" The host held up a pair of headphones. Noah gulped.

A few seconds later... "NO! NO MORE TIBETAN THROAT SINGING! Put me in the stockade!"

* * *

"Tyler! With wooden shorts!"

Tyler wore a set of wooden shorts, and a woodpecker was released next to him and started pecking at his groin region. Tyler just scoffed. "I remembered to wear my cup today! So you don't scare me."

The woodpecker stopped, and went around to the back. Tyler then started to sweat. "Y-you don't have to go back there!" He didn't give up, but at the very end, he screamed.

* * *

"Bridgette! With electric eels!" Chef, wearing rubber gloves, rubbed a pair of electric eels together, causing them to generate more electricity. "Clear."

"Uncle!" Bridgette shouted, before Chef could touch her with them.

* * *

**Confessional: Bridgette**

"Electric eels aren't exactly one of my greatest fears, but I know what they're capable of. I doubt I could have taken that shock."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Jo! With the poison ivy spa treatment!"

"Bring it on!" Jo said.

Once Jo was actually in the chair, Chef started applying the poison ivy. "Hey, not so much!" she shouted. "Slow down!"

"You quitting?" Chef asked.

"Pshhh. No." Jo finished the challenge fairly easily.

* * *

Next was Zoey, sitting in a chair, with Chef dumping a bucket of snakes on her. Zoey didn't even flinch.

"Wow, you really aren't scared of snakes, are you?" Chris asked.

"Nope. Actually, I have two pet snakes named Saphira and Thorn back home," Zoey said. Chris gave her an odd look.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"I think I get why Zoey didn't used to have any friends."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Well, since you didn't complain, you get to choose the victim of the next torture." Chef dealt her a card.

"Bamboo stalks under the fingernails?" Zoey asked.

Cameron just so happened to be sitting next to her. He tapped her on the shoulder.

* * *

**Flashback**

Dawn: _"B is afraid of harm befalling his hands."_

**End flashback**

* * *

"Sorry, B," Zoey said. B started sweating.

Sure enough, not two seconds after the first piece of bamboo was inserted below his fingernail, B yanked his hand away, and used his teeth to get the bamboo out. When he was put in the stockade, Heather gave him a disappointed look but said nothing.

Next up was Lightning, whose torture was lying face-down in a pile of LEGOs for ten seconds. He passed fairly easily, despite yelping when one piece got caught up his nose. Chef removed it while Chris spun the randomizer again.

The next to be selected by the randomizer was Scott. "Fire ants!"

"Not a problem," Scott said. "My cousins and I used to play this game where we would hang onto the clothesline over a fire ant bed until everyone but one person fell, and I usually won, but I lost sometimes. I'm pretty much immune to ant venom now."

"Let's test that, shall we? Remember, you have to stand relatively still," Chris said, as Chef held up a bucket containing an ant hill. Scott smirked confidently.

Chef poured the ants on him. Scott couldn't help letting out a yelp of pain.

"'Immune to ant venom,' huh, Captain Dirtfarm?" Jo mocked.

"Well, it's been a while since I last got bit by fire ants! I'm certainly doing a better job with them than _you_ would have!" Scott fired back.

"Please, I could do your challenge in my sleep," Jo said dismissively.

Scott looked like he was about to say something, but was cut short by the timer beeping. Chef then sprayed him with a high-powered hose to get rid of the ants.

* * *

Next was Owen. Chris directed him to a group of stumps, and said, "Okay, Owen. for this challenge, you have to do what we call, 'the skunk jump.'" Several skunks poked their tails up and prepared to spray.

"For spaghetti!" Owen shouted. Unfortunately, Owen tripped jumping from the first stump to the second. He got sprayed for several seconds.

"Ooh. Tough break, Owen," Chris said, as the stockade replaced his seat.

* * *

Up next was Courtney. "All right, Courtney, you get an easy one. All you have to do is wear this shirt made of bees for ten seconds."

Courtney smiled and shrugged. "Seems easy enough. I just have to avoid provoking the bees, right?"

Sure enough, Courtney passed the challenge fairly easily and without complaint. Chef gave her a card and she read it aloud. "Eating a jar of mayonnaise?"

Jo, who was sitting next to her, whispered in her ear. "You're sure about this? Your last advice didn't turn out that well," Courtney asked her.

"Absolutely," Jo said. "No way he can take it."

"All right," Courtney said. "I choose Cameron. This had better work out."

Chef handed Cameron a small jar of mayonnaise and a spoon. "You have to eat the entire thing before the ten seconds are up," Chris told him. "And you have to do it without throwing up. At least, you can't throw up before the timer runs out. Feel free to throw up afterwards."

Cameron steeled himself, and as soon as the timer began, he started eating the condiment as quickly as he could. He handed it back to Chef when the timer ran out, and Chris looked inside. "Good enough," Chris said. "I think you could have got another spoonful or two from the wall of the jar, there, but good enough to win."

Chef handed him the bucket that had contained the fire ants, and Cameron vomited profusely into it.

The stockade replaced Courtney's seat. "Wow, I really thought he wouldn't be able to do it," Jo said. She then smiled perversely at Courtney. "But on the plus side, I like the sight of _you_ in stocks." She gave Courtney's butt a smack, which caused Courtney to glare daggers at her, and Scott, who had returned to his seat, to tear a poorly-attached board off of the seating, and he was about to hit Jo over the head with it as hard as he could.

"You take that swing, and you forfeit the challenge for your team," Chris warned him.

Scott hesitated for a few seconds. _"Fine,"_ he spat venomously.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Jo. Is. Going. _Down."_

**End confessional**

* * *

Chris spun the randomizer again. "Katie! With..."

Topher looked over Chris's shoulder. "Actually, I'm pretty sure this one is illegal."

"Is it?" Chris asked. He then sent a text, presumably to his lawyers.

The lawyers texted back quickly. "Huh, so it is. Okay, I have a challenge for you, Katie. For ten seconds, you have to wear Brick's moldy, rotting boots!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Katie squealed. "Uncle! UNCLE!"

* * *

**Confessional: Katie**

"Those boots don't match my outfit _at all!_ Chris is so mean!"

**Confessional: Topher**

"Hmm. I've been looking for a good person to take to the final two with me. Lindsay and Tyler are more Scarlett's allies than mine, so I'll need to pick someone from the former Gopher team, or a returnee. I only really need one person on my team to be absolutely loyal to me for my plan to work, and Katie seems perfect."

**End confessional**

* * *

Next was Sugar. "Ooh, this next challenge is the toughest one yet. You have to spend ten seconds in this crate with the mythical Sasquatchanakwa. Thought only to be a myth, let's see how our unlucky camper spending some quality time with him does."

"Braing it on!" Sugar shouted. She marched into the crate that Chef had brought onstage, and closed the door behind her. Once she did, sounds of carnage could be heard from inside.

Ten seconds later, Sugar walked out, and shouted back, "Boom! You just got Sugar'd!"

"Are you okay?" Bridgette asked, concerned.

"Yeah, that guy wasn't so tough," Sugar bragged. "He ain't got nothin' on me! I gave him a whippin', easy."

"Well, since you didn't complain," Chris said, "you can pick the next victim. Here's your card."

"Chainsaw haircut?" Sugar asked. "I'll have him take it." She pointed at Topher.

"Uncle!" Topher shouted before Chef could start up the chainsaw.

"Nice job, Junior," Jo said.

"Hey, at least I didn't pass out at the sight of someone else's feet," Topher defended.

Jo shrugged. "That's fair. Discount Forehead had better hope we win."

* * *

Next was Sky, who was faced with eating ice cream and powering through the brain freeze. She was able to manage the cold for about seven seconds before the ice cream headache hit her too hard.

Following her was Beth, who had to hang upside down over a piranha tank. She managed to last through the ten seconds.

Next was Leshawna, who successfully lasted ten seconds in an ice chest full of ice.

Then came Jasmine's turn. "Okay, Jasmine. All you have to do is stay in this coffin for ten sec...

"NO!" Jasmine screamed. "I'm out! No coffins!"

Jo gave her a look of disappointment. "I expect this from Junior and Thing 1, but you? I thought you were braver, Ranger Risa." Jasmine looked away as her seat was replaced by stocks.

* * *

Next was Shawn, who managed to take being spun around on a wheel similar to those used in knife throwers' shows.

Following him, Lindsay lasted ten seconds in a pen with a wild boar.

After that, Dawn failed her challenge of eating overripe fish guts. After only one bite, she gagged.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I know my position might be precarious, but only a wild animal could have eaten that."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Hey, give that here," Sugar said, taking the container of fish guts and eating them.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I rest my case."

**End confessional**

* * *

After that, Heather had to endure her nose hairs being pulled out. She succeeded, cursing wildly at Chef and Chris the whole time.

Chris then looked critically at Duncan and Geoff. "Okay, boys! It's up to you now. If you can complete your challenge, then that puts your team's score out of the enemy team's reach.

"Wait, challenge, as in, just one?" Duncan asked.

"Cool, so, co-op?" Geoff asked.

"Your challenge...is to make out with each other for ten seconds!" Chris announced.

"Wait, make out, as in, _make out_ make out?" Geoff asked.

"Yep," Chris said, smiling maliciously. "Better get to it!"

Duncan and Geoff stared at each other, both sweating.

Eventually, Duncan broke eye contact. "I can't do it," he said.

"Yeah, man. This challenge is just too hard," Geoff said.

"Aww. And I was lookin' forward to some guy-on-guy action," Sugar said, receiving some weird looks from the guys on her team.

The host then turned to Sammy. "Okay, Samey, it's all on you. You complete your challenge, and you tie things up for your team. Your challenge is...to give Chef a piggyback ride!"

"Welp, we're doomed," Jo said.

"Hey, Sammy could still pull through!" Brick protested.

"Samey? Tiny, twig-armed Samey? Not a chance. We might as well cast our votes now," Jo told him.

Having heard Jo's disparaging words, Sammy's face contorted into a mask of fury. "My...name...is... _Sammy!"_ she shouted, lifting Chef up. "Not Samey, not Sparamy, not anything else my sister and [bleep]s like you call me, _Sammy!_ And I have been belittled for too long by too many people, and I will not let you tell me what I can and can't do!"

"And Samey wins her challenge!" Chris announced. Sammy turned on him angrily, and Chris rolled his eyes. "Fine. _Sammy_ wins her challenge."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Jo is just like a track team version of Amy, right down to the way she makes my blood boil," Sammy confessed. The she looked thoughtful. "Apparently, she's also a lesbian, so maybe I should set her up on a date with Amy. I don't think Amy is a lesbian, but it would be a great way to annoy them both."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Well, we're left at a tie, we have to have a tiebreaker," Chris said. "Here's what we'll do. Both teams will select one team member, and those two members will compete against each other in the log roll. First one to fall goes home."

The members of the former Gopher and Bass teams all looked at Jo. "I think we all know who we're choosing," said Sammy.

Jo scoffed. "Fine. You losers couldn't handle it anyway."

"Okay, Jo is the competitor for Team 1!" Chris said. "Team 2?"

"I'll do it," Leshawna said. "Jo and I have some unfinished business."

"Are you sure? You're strong, and you've improved in our daily runs, but Jo is pretty fast," Cameron said. "Maybe we should have someone else do it."

"Trust me, I got this," Leshawna told him. "Jo's gonna try to end it as quickly as possible and commit too hard. I can do this."

"Well, okay. Kick his butt," Lightning said, giving her a thumbs-up.

"You do know Jo is a girl, right?" Noah asked Lightning.

"Sha-WHAAAAAAAT?"

* * *

The camera cut to a log in the water, with Jo on one side and Leshawna on the other. "Ready, set, ROLL!" Chris announced. Jo immediately started running in one direction, attempting to build up momentum on the log. Leshawna allowed this for the first few seconds, waiting for the right moment.

Leshawna had a respectable amount of core strength. However, she was hardly a runner, and her core strength did not fully translate into speed. She could still do respectably in a log roll competition, but not against a track star like Jo. She simply didn't have the speed or endurance to last more than ten or so seconds.

Which is why, as soon as Jo had built up enough speed that she had committed to her direction and couldn't stop, Leshawna threw all her weight against the direction the log was moving, causing both girls to fall.

The only difference was that Leshawna fell on the log before falling into the water. Jo simply fell in the water straightaway.

"Ooh! And it looks like Jo is going home today!" Chris announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Jo**

"It's not fair! If Discount Missy Elliot had been doing the log roll right, I would have won!"

"Nobody cares, Jo!" Chris's voice came from outside the confessional.

**End confessional**

* * *

Once Leshawna was back on shore, her teammates gave her high-fives. "Great work!"

"Thanks!" Leshawna said. "I figured she'd try to speed up as fast as possible, so as to try and outpace me. It left her off-balance. Oh, by the way, thanks for coaching us on our running styles for those runs you make us do, Lightning. I probably wouldn't have timed it right otherwise."

"Sha-yes! Helpful!" Lightning shouted.

Jo 'hmph'ed as Chef directed her towards the boat of losers, while Chris addressed the campers. "Your new teams need names, for convenience purposes. I'll let you choose them this time as long as you don't pick anything inappropriate. Get those back to me tonight in place of the Campfire Ceremony."

Bridgette said, "Well, we can deal with that soon. Why don't we head to the campfire pit or something, sit down for a bit, and get to know each other?"

* * *

Topher and Scarlett left the group to talk strategy. "So, what do you think of our new teammates?" Topher asked.

Scarlett hesitated a moment before answering. "While Jasmine, Brick, B, and Sammy may not be allies, they could definitely be called friends. Which is a potential problem given the threats that Jasmine and B both represent, but if we deal with Scott and Courtney first, they should be easy enough to pick off, provided that they do not decide to align against us. Heather and Beth, while their teammates are not exactly enemies with them, are clearly outsiders, meaning that they should be easy enough to manipulate. Katie has no allies and is not especially well-liked, so she should be easily convinced to side with us as well. As for Dave, his position is tenuous at best. He will side with us as soon as we convince him it will enable him to protect himself."

"Seems about right," said the wannabe host. "Why don't you recruit Heather and Dave, while I take Beth and Katie? They seem like they would be more affected by my _winning smile."_ He gave her a look that was too over-the-top to be seductive, and just ended up looking like he was trying too hard.

Scarlett gave him a look that said she was not impressed. "Needs work?" Topher asked.

"You look like the perverted best friend character on a sitcom," Scarlett told him.

"Okay, fine, I won't do that," Topher said. "But still, I think in their cases, a pretty face would be just what they need to be convinced. And mine certainly qualifies."

"I'll take your word for it," Scarlett said. "Let's just begin."

* * *

At the campfire pit, the newly formed team were talking about themselves. "Sha-bam! Touchdown! And that's how _The Lightning_ won his best game, 77 to 14!"

"Right on!" Geoff shouted, giving him a fist bump. "Awesome story, dude!"

"Yes, your exploits in giving other muscle-heads concussions for the sake of selling tickets to people who don't realize they could just watch action movies is _so_ thrilling," Noah said dryly. "Let's have someone else tell their life story."

"I am glad you asked!" Sugar said joyfully. "Now, I been competin' in pageants since I-"

"Not you," Lightning said. "Nobody cares about sha- _losers."_

"Hey, who you callin' loser?" Sugar asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the girl voted out..." Lightning counted on his fingers, "fourth!"

"Hey, it ain't my fault Chef don't appreciate talent!" Sugar said. She then put up her fists. "Why don't I show you just who the loser here is?"

"Okay, okay! Let's all calm down," Bridgette attempted to mediate. "Lightning, we understand where you're coming from, but you shouldn't make hasty judgments like that about people. It's entirely possible that Sugar just...had bad luck that day."

"Even so, Lightning does have a point," Alejandro said. "Whatever the circumstances, Sugar and Dawn did get eliminated, so it falls on them to prove themselves more than everyone else here. Still, they are our teammates, and they deserve a chance to do so."

Sugar simply glared at Lightning and Bridgette.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"Who does that Lightning feller think he is? I'll show him just how much of a loser I am. And as for that Bridgette chick? I'm onto her 'nicey nice-girl' act. She ain't foolin' me!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Meanwhile, Topher was talking with Katie. "Okay, so here's the deal. I need someone to take to the final two with me, and I picked you. I have a strategy for getting us there, but you will have to vote for whoever I tell you to."

"Okay!" Katie said, surprising Topher.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"Huh. I was expecting that I would have to explain my plan. I guess Katie does more of her her thinking with her ovaries than I thought. That, or she just doesn't do much thinking at all."

**End confessional**

* * *

Meanwhile, he saw Courtney talking to Beth. "So, Scarlett was responsible for voting out DJ, who was your friend's boyfriend. So will you help us take her down?"

"I guess so," Beth said hesitantly. "I'll see if I can get Heather on board too."

Topher smiled.

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"Sorry, Scarlett, but Beth joining our alliance just doesn't factor into my plans."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And it turns out that vampires are real," Shawn said. "So that's another danger you're going to have to watch out for in the zombie apocalypse. You might want to carry around a crucifix or something, but I haven't actually tested whether that actually works on vampires or if it's just a myth. But you should have lots of deadly weapons anyway. Guns if you can get them, plus an axe, and knives."

"Aren't guns kinda hard to buy in Canada, though?" Cameron asked.

"I live in Alaska, so I don't know," Shawn said.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"In a word, the former Moose are..."

**Confessional: Geoff**

"Awesome!"

**Confessional: Bridgette**

"Colorful."

**Confessional: Duncan**

"Weird."

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"Passionate. Which I'm sure I can use."

**End confessional**

* * *

"How about you, Zoey, was it? What's your story?"

Zoey tensed up, not able to say anything.

* * *

**Confessional: Zoey**

"I'm not so great with group interactions like this."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Hey, I have an idea! Why don't we decide on our team name?" Dawn asked, seeing that Zoey was struggling.

"Team Lightning! No, wait, the Lightning Squad!" Lightning suggested.

"Um, no," said Noah. "Not a chance."

"Ooh! How about Team Firefly?" Harold asked.

Duncan looked at him. "I know that's a reference to some nerd thing, and I'm vetoing it," he said.

"You don't have to be so dismissive! Gosh!"

"Okay, then how about Team Victory?" Sky asked.

"Seems like tempting fate," Cameron pointed out.

"Then how about Team Survivor?" Shawn asked. "It's accurate enough not to be tempting fate in that we've all survived in the game this long, while still being cool enough that we don't sound silly."

"Ooh, I like it!" Owen said.

"Okay, all in favor?" Alejandro asked. Everyone raised their hands. "Then Team Survivor we shall be."

* * *

Jasmine gathered the members of her new team as well. "Look, we have to decide on a team name. Any ideas?"

"I've got one," Heather said. "Team Chris Is A Jerk."

"Any other ideas?"

Everyone else said nothing, aside from Dave. "Hey, don't look at me. I've been on this team for only a few hours now, and the interns didn't even show us any episodes, so I don't know much of anything about how you guys work."

Topher said, "I think Chris would get mad at us for it. How about Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean?"

"That sounds childish," Courtney said.

"That's the idea. It's childish enough that Chris won't take offense."

The idea, despite itself, slowly drew some nods. "Anyone else have a suggestion?" Jasmine asked. When nobody offered one, she said, "Then it's decided."

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris addressed the campers. "Okay, so, with Jo gone, there will be no voting tonight. Instead, we shall christen our new teams. Today's winning team?"

"We have decided on Team Survivor," Alejandro told him.

"Team Survivor? What a boring name," Chris said. "You sure you want to name yourselves _that_?" Alejandro nodded. "Okay, fine. I did say you could pick. Today's losers?"

"We're going with Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean," Topher said.

Chris burst out laughing. "Hahahahaha! I love it! Would have preferred 'hot' to 'mean,' but it's still great. Well, that's about all the time we have for today, so get yourselves washed up and head to bed. Or not. It's not like I care."

He turned to the camera. "Four teams become two, and the game has suddenly gotten a lot more interesting. Who will succeed? And who will fall next? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Island!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the bait-and-switch, but it just seemed like so much of a Chris thing to do that i just couldn't help it. The real merge will be at 13.
> 
> So, as for my choices for the returnees. Dawn was fairly obvious, and Jo was just someone brought here to get eliminated without throwing off my plans for Team CIRRRRM. But as for Sugar and Dave, I think some explanation is required.
> 
> Sugar is the easier one to explain: I thought she had a lot of wasted potential as a villain. Sure, she was generally fairly unpleasant in canon, but that's not entirely her fault. Despite being an antagonist, there just wasn't much antagonism for her to do with the PI cast. Here, there are more people with competitive and clashing personalities that she can potentially butt heads with, like Lightning, so I thought her return would work.
> 
> Dave is...harder to explain. He never exactly had any sort of plot, and if you think that he's more or less going to be in the background for his time back on the island...I can't deny that. But even so, I do think I can make him amusing, specifically with his future interactions with Lindsay, Tyler, and Katie. Moreover, looking back at Not So Happy Campers, I think I did him a bit dirty. Dave complains a lot, but I think I exaggerated it a bit too much. My in-universe explanation is that he doesn't handle surprises well and the accommodations were an unpleasant one, but I think I should probably give him a bit more screen time. (Not too much, though. He's still my least favorite character.)
> 
> Also, I got my wish! This fic has a TVTropes page now! Please consider adding to it, as there is a lot that could be added. The address can be found here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/TotalDramaRedux52
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)
> 
> 52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)
> 
> 50: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 49: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)
> 
> 44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)
> 
> 42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 40: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 39: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 37 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 37 (tie): Aiden, the Hate Sink
> 
> 36: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 34: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 33: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 31: Trent, the Musician
> 
> 30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette


	26. Ice Ice Baby

**Teams:**

**Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean: B, Beth, Brick, Courtney, Dave, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Team Survivor: Alejandro, Bridgette, Cameron, Dawn, Duncan, Geoff, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn, Sky, Sugar, Zoey**

* * *

The episode began with Heather, Lindsay, Katie, Topher, and Dave sitting together. Lindsay, Katie, and Topher were discussing fashion, while Dave was looking bored and Heather had an impassive look on her face.

"Okay, it's clear that I have no place in this conversation, so I'm going to go fraternize with the _other_ team," Dave said.

"Oh, thank _God_ someone else said it," Heather said.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I don't have any problem discussing fashion. But this is an opportunity for me to make some long-term plans."

**End confessional**

* * *

As Heather and Dave were leaving, Heather said to him, "I know our alliance with Scarlett and Tyler and the three of them is going to keep us safe in the short run, but in the long term, she'll stick with her original allies. And two of my original allies are gone. So, wanna be in an alliance?"

"Okay, sure," Dave said.

* * *

**Confessional: Dave**

"I honestly just signed up for this show to find a girlfriend. I thought I would hook up with someone, then probably get voted out before the real intense playing started. But I freaked out, I got voted out for it, and now if I want to get a girlfriend, I have to actually start playing the cut-throat way."

Dave paused. "I think my best shot at finding a girlfriend is to try the other team. Mine just doesn't seem like it has any girls on it who are my type."

**End confessional**

* * *

Over on the other team, Geoff was explaining his formula for creating the most awesome party ever to Owen, Alejandro, Lightning, and Duncan. "And for an evening party outside, serve chili. And also have cider. Or better yet, boil a quart of apple spice tea for four minutes, add a gallon of cider, a quart of cranberry juice, two quarts orange juice, and a cup and a half of sugar. Keep boiling, then add half a cup of Red Hots, four cinnamon sticks, and an orange that you stuck twelve cloves into, then keep boiling until the Red Hots dissolve. I've made it, and it tastes awesome."

"Sounds delicious," Owen said. "Oh, I'm learning so much! Isn't this great, guys?" Lightning and Duncan voiced their agreement.

"Isn't it great, Al?" Owen asked.

"Please, do not call me 'Al,'" Alejandro instructed him.

"Okay!" Owen said flippantly. Somehow, Alejandro thought he didn't mean it.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"Owen is incredibly annoying. Chris had us move into two cabins because he wanted to use the other two for a movie the network is filming, and I must say, his hygiene is atrocious. Not as bad as Shawn or Sugar, but I'm not roommates with them, so Owen's hygiene is the one that bothers me the most. That's to say nothing of his ludicrous enthusiasm, or his propensity for calling me 'Al.'"

**End confessional**

* * *

Scott and Courtney sat on the bleachers of the plexiglass gym, which was otherwise empty. Courtney was telling Scott about her plans for the future. "And then I'm going to graduate from law school, and become a lawyer. Not criminal law, though. I'm self-aware enough to know that I'm not really cut out for that. Just real estate law. It's less stressful. What about you? What are your plans?"

Scott seemed hesitant to answer. "I...well, that really depends on whether I win this competition."

"How so?"

"Well, the way you tell it, you make it sound like you're going to do all those things anyway, even if you don't win. Me, though, if I don't win, I know there's no hope of me ever getting into college. If I lose, I'm probably going to get a job in an auto repair shop or something."

"But that's not what you want to do, is it?"

"No. What I really want is to go to college, get a business degree, and become CEO of one of those big commercial farms. I knew there would be no way my parents could ever afford to send me, though, so that's why I was so excited about getting on this show. This is my one big chance."

Courtney wasn't sure what to say to that. Eventually, she said, "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be having this moment. But shouldn't we be trying to get the others on our side for the next vote?"

"Beth was easy to convince, but if we try to get the rest of them to vote our way now, we'll just end up looking desperate," Scott told her. "We'll wait until Tyler or Lindsay loses a challenge for us, then get the others on our side."

"But what if they don't?"

"They will.

* * *

Dave happened to run into Dawn and Cameron. "Oh, um, hey. Do you have any idea where I could find, well, some of your teammates?"

Dawn replied, "Zoey is working on one of her drawings right now. I don't think she wants to be disturbed at the moment. As for Sky, I don't recommend trying to get with her. She hasn't really had the best experience with love in the past, but even if that weren't the case, she wouldn't be able to give you the level of closeness your aura tells me you want. Cameron, what is it?" She noticed Cameron tugging on her arm. Dave just gave her a weirded-out look and walked away.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I can tell from Dave's aura that he is far from emotionally mature enough for a lasting romantic relationship. Like Sierra did at the beginning of the summer, he has unrealistic expectations for romantic relationships, and I can sense that Sky would be a terrible first girlfriend for him.

**End confessional**

* * *

"I'd like to talk to you. You know this aura-reading thing you do?" Cameron asked. "I don't really understand it, but you are trying to use it to help people with their problems?"

"Yes," Dawn said.

"Well, I've studied a bit of psychology in my spare time, and if you just tell people their problems like you've been doing, they're going to be resistant to what you say. You have to maneuver them into figuring their problems out themselves with questions and logic."

Dawn thought for a moment. "I didn't think of that. I'll give it a try."

"Do that. Also," Cameron looked around to make sure there was nobody nearby, "I'm currently in an alliance with Harold, Leshawna, and Noah, and I would like it if you would join. Aiden spilled on the four of us, but I'd like your involvement to be secret."

"Certainly," Dawn told him.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Dave had heard that last part.

* * *

**Confessional: Dave**

"I don't know how that information will come in handy, but I'll tell Heather anyway. It might be useful."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Attention, campers!" Chris's voice came over the radio. "Report to the Bay of Dismay for your challenge!"

* * *

At the Bay of Dismay, Chris and Chef (wearing parkas) had set up a bunch of snow machines, which had frozen the bay over. Turning to the shivering campers, he said, "Cold enough for ya?" When the campers only shivered in response, he said, "I'll take that as a yes. Time for today's challenge: Capture the Snow Fort! To win, you either have to demo the enemy's fort," he gestured to the two snow forts: a castle and a much shabbier fort, "Or capture the flag within, and take it back to your own fort. Team Survivor, you won the last challenge, so you choose."

"W-we're choo-oosing the c-castle, r-right?" Cameron shivered.

"Might be a trick, but I don't like the look of the other fort. We'll take the castle," Alejandro agreed, not sounding cold.

"Great, w-we have to d-deal with...th-that," Heather complained, pointing at the shack.

"Hey, m-maybe it's n-nicer on the ins-side," Topher said, trying to look on the bright side.

* * *

The camera cut to Team Chris is Really^4 Mean inside the shack, no longer shivering. Also there were a shovel sticking into the ground and a pile of snowballs. "Great, the suckiness is thorough," Dave said.

"Well, on the plus side, I think we're getting used to the temperature," Brick responded, trying to look on the bright side.

* * *

"Structurally sound," Cameron mused.

"Yes, it's better than I thought it would be," Alejandro agreed.

"Listen up, players!" Chris announced with his microphone. On the actual beach, he and Chef were sitting on lawn chairs next to a fire. "Use the shovel in each fort to fire your collection of mystery snowballs."

"Dibs!" Sugar called. "I spent half mah free time launching pine cones at squirrels. I can handle this."

"That sounds mean," Dawn said.

"But it could be useful here," Alejandro said. "In any case, we should split our strength. I'll lead our offense, along with Geoff, Duncan, Lightning, Sky, Noah, Owen, and Bridgette. Shawn, Sugar, Cameron, Dawn, Harold, Leshawna, and Zoey will defend the fort."

"Right-o!" Owen shouted, and ran out of the fort. After he had gotten about one-third of the way to the enemy fort, the ice broke beneath him, and he floated back up, inside a huge block of ice.

"Oh, by the way, No Man's Land is more or less No Man's Water," Chris announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"In all honesty, I only wanted him on the attack force because I thought he and Sugar would break the ice and the fort would collapse if I left them together."

**End confessional**

* * *

In the other team's base, Jasmine took charge. "Okay, so, here's the plan. Brick, Katie, Topher, Sammy, Tyler, Courtney, and I will attack the other fort. B, Scarlett, Scott, Lindsay, Heather, Beth, and Dave will defend the flag."

"And go!" Chris announced, spurring the two teams into action.

B looked at the ice, and walked outside of the fort. He headed around to the back, and reached into his coat and retrieved a tool. In a minute or so, B had set a circular piece of ice on top of the fort. The ice acted as a lens, aiming sunlight at the castle.

"Nice work, Bev," Heather said, genuinely impressed. Despite her calling him "Bev," B smirked proudly.

Beth examined the snowballs. "Which one do we throw first?"

Scott didn't bother answering, instead just grabbing a snowball and launching it. The snowball hit the top of one of the towers, causing a piece of the tower to fall off.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Darn. I was aiming for a spot a bit further down."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Here," Dawn handed Sugar a snowball. Sugar launched it at the enemy fort, but it came up a bit short. "I got mah range," Sugar said. She grabbed a second snowball, and launched it at Team CIRRRRM's fort. The snowball flew through the window, and hit Scott in the head.

"Why, you..." Scott growled, and prepared to launch another snowball. However, the one he picked blew up in his face.

Scarlett smirked at him. "If you're done playing around, why don't I hand you snowballs? I should be able to figure out what's in them."

 _"Fine,"_ Scott spat.

She handed him a snowball. "I believe this one contains ice cubes."

Outside, Lightning was running towards the fort. Scott quickly nailed him with the snowball, which contained icy slush. A bit of it got in his eyes, and it distracted him long enough for Brick to tackle him.

"What do we do about them?" Courtney asked Jasmine.

Jasmine hesitated, but came to a decision quickly. "Brick, keep him busy, the rest of us just go for the flag." The six remaining members of the attack group did so.

Noticing Alejandro and Duncan catching up with Lightning, B bodily blocked the entrance. He got a slight running start to build up enough momentum to keep him from being pushed too far by the two teens.

Scarlett pointed out to the other five defenders. "I'll take the launcher. The rest of you keep them from pushing B back." The other five nodded and pushed on B's back.

Meanwhile, Geoff and Sky reinforced the attack, while Scarlett managed to hit Bridgette with a snowball, which slowed her down. Noah ran up next to her, then stopped, a thoughtful expression on his face. "You know, you'd think there would be a smarter way to do this."

* * *

At the other fort, Sugar was managing to slow down the six attackers, but she was quickly running out of snowballs. "We're almost out," Dawn told Sugar.

"Bull[bleep]! Yer holdin' out on me!" Sugar shouted, pointing at a small pile of snowballs.

"Those have residual sadism from Chris! They're probably the ones he rigged with traps!" Dawn said.

"Don't care!" Sugar said, grabbing one off of the pile. It immediately crumbled, and revealed that it had contained a hairy spider. Sugar didn't even think twice and launched it anyway. She didn't see it hit anything, though. "Oh, hog spittle, I think I missed."

Leshawna simply gave her a freaked-out stare. However, she never got to say anything, as the attackers had reached the fort.

Harold began swinging his nunchucks threateningly, but Sammy simply threw snow from the wall in his face and he dropped the nunchucks. After that, the two half-teams began attacking each other, trying to get the flag or keep it away from the other team.

At one point, Topher had it in his hands, and shouted, "And Topher takes the flag!" But Dawn threw one of the snowballs at him. The snowball turned out to have potent itching powder in it, which caused Topher to drop the flag and start scratching uncontrollably. He ran screaming into the wall, and half of it collapsed on him.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"It looked pretty bad. We were fighting a losing battle, all while our walls were melting faster than theirs. Then I had an idea."

**End confessional**

* * *

Cameron grabbed two large handfuls of snow, and packed them into a snowball. He then found Sugar, who was holding Jasmine back. "Sugar, can you hit that lens and make it shine on Owen?"

"Sure thing!" Sugar shouted. She took the snowball, and launched it. It did hit B's lens, and it did cause the sunlight reflected by it to hit the block of ice containing Owen, and then reflect towards Team CIRRRRM's fort. "That's how Sugar does!" Sugar shouted.

However, this gave Jasmine an opportunity to get the flag and start running. She almost made it out of the fort, too, but Shawn tackled her into the wall, and the flag flew out of her hands...and into Tyler's.

Tyler wasted no time. He ran as fast as he could towards his own team's rapidly melting fort, desperately trying to reach it before it melted. When he was getting close, his team's defenders made one desperate attack to keep the attackers from reaching Tyler.

Then, disaster struck.

Tyler slipped on the almost-melted slush that had been the front wall of Team CIRRRRM's fort. He landed on his back and dropped the flag, and Alejandro tossed the flag away.

Brick ran after the flag and grabbed it, despite the fact that the front and back walls had both effectively melted by now.

* * *

**Confessional: Brick**

"Hey, I couldn't give up yet! We still had two...okay, one and a half walls left, and I just had to get this flag between them, right?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick threw the flag like a javelin, and Scarlett managed to catch it right before the other two walls collapsed. When they fell, they revealed that Noah and Bridgette had pushed them down.

"See? Easier way to do this," Noah said.

"Nice try, but you were just a bit too late. Team Me wins!" Chris announced. "Help yourself to some delicious Fall Forest Apple Cider." He faced the camera. "Tastes like your childhood, as long as you weren't a city kid."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's with the sudden corporate sponsors?"

**Confessional: Chris**

"Okay, our first episode officially aired right as we were filming the episode before last. It was a big hit, and we got a bunch of companies that wanted to sponsor episodes. I have sponsors lined up for most of the remaining episodes.

**End confessional**

* * *

"You were so close, Team Survivor," Chris said. "But I will be seeing you at the campfire pit tonight." The members of Team Survivor groaned.

Jasmine and Shawn crawled out of the snowbank. "Nice save, Shawn, even if it wasn't enough. But I'll get you next time, just you wait."

"Well, you'll have to earn that against me," Shawn said.

"So," she smiled flirtatiously, "Seen any zombies lately?"

"Not yet," Shawn aid. "But I did encounter a vampire on Boney Island. I unfortunately didn't get him, but I don't think he can get us here. I don't claim to be an expert on vampire, but everything I've read about them say they're not strong swimmers. As for zombies, I'm staying vigilant."

Shawn's teammates gave the two a weirded-out look.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but it looked like Jasmine was trying to flirt with the guy who's so afraid of walking corpses that he doesn't shower. Key word being 'trying.'"

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"Shawn's pretty cool. I don't really get the zombie/vampire thing, but he's both cute and tough. Can you blame me for being interested?"

**Confessional: Shawn**

"It's good to know that there's at least one other person on this island who has a healthy fear of the undead."

**End confessional**

* * *

While the teams were returning to camp, Heather walked next to Beth. "We need to make plans for our alliance."

"Sure, go ahead," Beth said in response.

"Not here."

"Why not?"

"Because we're teaming up with Scarlett, and eight people making plans at once would be conspicuous. Meet the rest of us at the gym."

"Hey, wait! Don't I get a say in this?" Beth asked. "I don't _want_ to team up with Scarlett."

"I'm the leader of our alliance, and I said we're teaming up with her," Heather emphasized.

"You know what? You've been acting mean ever since Beardo got eliminated, and I don't even know why I'm still in an alliance with you. If you're not going to listen to me, then I'm done," Beth told her.

"Is this an ultimatum? You don't get to give me ultimatums. If you don't go along with this, you'll be defenseless. _You_ need _me,"_ Heather said darkly.

"You say that, but I'll take my chances with Scott and Courtney. Maybe I can even talk Jasmine, B, Brick, and Sammy into an official alliance," Beth said.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I can't believe her! She turned down a majority vote, pretty much a potential guaranteed ticket to the merge for us, and for what? Because I was mean to her?"

**Confessional: Beth**

"I am sick and tired of feeling like I'm not being listened to!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Once they got back to camp, Shawn, Lightning, and Owen convened in their cabin. "So, who do you think we should vote out?" Owen asked.

"Here's a hint. Starts with 'shu,' ends with 'gur,'" stated Lightning.

"Aw, come on. She's not so bad," Owen said.

"She did put up a pretty good defense today, even if it ultimately wasn't enough," Shawn agreed.

"Sha- _fine_ ," Lightning said. "Who do _you_ think we should vote for, Zombie Boy?"

"Someone whose performance today was pathetic, and who we know has allies," Shawn said. Then he reached into the bag he had stowed in the room, and removed the immunity idol. "Owen, I think you'll need this."

"Dude, wash your clothes," Lightning said, wrinkling his nose.

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris addressed Team Survivor. "So close to victory, and yet so far. So who will be the first Survivor to fall? Well, it will not be Alejandro, Cameron, Sugar, Noah, Shawn, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Dawn, Lightning, Leshawna, Zoey, or Sky. And honestly, a few of those surprise me."

"That leaves Owen, who got frozen, and Harold, who tried to use nunchucks and got snow in the face for it. And the one going home tonight is..."

_"Owen."_

"Actually, no," Owen said, holding the immunity idol. "I have this." Several of the others gasped in surprise.

"Give it here," Chris said, taking the idol and looking at its base. "Yep, this is the real deal. So, I guess that means you're the one going home, Harold."

"Aww, man," Harold said.

"Yeah, you're probably really disappointed," Chris said. "But that's the way it is."

"I know," Harold said. "And I had a pretty good run. I loved, I lost, I made friends, and I had fun. Only thing I don't get is...where did Owen find an immunity idol?"

"It was in a cave," Owen said.

"Hm," Harold shrugged. "Well, good luck, all of you." He walked onto the Boat of Losers, and it sped away.

Chris turned to the others. "The rest of you are safe. _For tonight."_

* * *

Scott, Courtney, and Beth had taken Jasmine, B, Brick, and Sammy out into the woods. "So, we're agreed to be allies?" Beth asked.

"I'm in," said Jasmine.

"Me too," Sammy told them.

 _"I guess,"_ B typed. _"I don't really like the politics here, but I'll vote with you for the sake of keeping the team strong."_

"One question. How do you know Dave and Katie are involved?" Brick asked.

"They seemed like they were the type of people who Scarlett would recruit. So I asked Katie, and she told me the truth. I swear, that girl has no brain in her head," Courtney said.

"Okay, for the sake of the team, I'll vote with you," Brick said. "Who do you recommend we vote for?"

"Lindsay," Scott answered. "She's the only one I know for sure could not beat _any_ of us in a tiebreaker. Also, we all need to search hard for those immunity idols. Just in case."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to have to accept that this is my update schedule now. Gone are the days of an update every two weeks.
> 
> This chapter was frustrating to write. For one thing, Team CIRRRRM was originally meant to lose this challenge. But then I realized I had miscounted the number of remaining members, and I needed more buildup to the clash between the two groups.
> 
> Thoughts on Harold? I love Harold, and I think he should have been a finalist in Action. And it's a bit strange that I like him as much as I do, because I don't really like Napoleon Dynamite very much. But Harold just works a lot better.
> 
> Also, before you bring up the fact in the reviews, yes, Sugar was actually useful this episode. I intended for that to be the case, because her team getting a good first impression of her, in terms of actual usefulness if not personality, is going to be necessary for any subterfuge she attempts to pull off in the future. If you are one of the many expecting her to hold her team back, that will happen at times, but it can't now.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait and the short chapter, but I really wasn't inspired to do more. Please review. Also, the TVTropes page is in dire need of attention! Please add anything you can think of to it!
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)
> 
> 52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)
> 
> 50: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 49: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)
> 
> 44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)
> 
> 42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 40: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 39: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 37 (tie): Mike, the Introspective
> 
> 37 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 36: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 34: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 33: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 31: Trent, the Musician
> 
> 30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 29: Harold, the Nerd with Mad Skillz


	27. A Mine Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

**T** **eams:**

**Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean: B, Beth, Brick, Courtney, Dave, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Team Survivor: Alejandro, Bridgette, Cameron, Dawn, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn, Sky, Sugar, Zoey**

* * *

The episode began with a montage of members of Team Chris Is Really^4 Mean searching for the two remaining immunity idols, with no luck. Despite searching various locations across the island, none of them were able to find either of the two immunity idols.

* * *

**Confessional: Jasmine**

"Blimey, these things are near impossible to find. How the [bleep] did _Owen_ find one?"

**End confessional**

* * *

While the teens were at breakfast, Chris barged into the Mess Hall. "Challenge time, campers! Follow me!"

* * *

Chris led them to the mine entrance in the mountain in the center of the island. "Hey, I been here!" Lightning said. "I didn't go in there, 'cause it was so sha-dark, you can't see _nothin'._ _"_ Upon hearing that, Brick visibly cringed.

"Well, you'll be going in there today," Chris said, to the horror of both Brick and Jasmine. "You'll be looking for this statue of me." He held up a picture of a silver full-body statue of himself. "It's not real silver, obviously. Find it, and your team wins."

"Originally, the challenge was supposed to involve bringing it back as well, but I talked him out of it. It's a maze down there, and we're probably going to have to send interns to lead you all to the exits," Intern Charlie said, appearing in the entrance of the cave, wearing night vision goggles.

"Wait, what were you doing in there?" Chris asked.

"I just finished hiding the statue, as you requested," Charlie told him. "I had to find a good place for it. Should be at least a few hours before someone finds it."

"Good. I knew I hired you for a reason. Seriously, the rest of the interns on this show aren't worth the chump change I pay them," Chris complained. "I asked for a mojito, and one of them gave me a margarita."

"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that," Charlie began, before Topher cut him off. "Excuse me, but...getting sidetracked?"

"Relax, we'll just edit it out in post-production," Chris told him. "But anyway, Lightning brought up a good point. You'll need light if you want to find anything in that mine. So, for Team I Am Wicked Awesome, you get Larry DeLite's LED Flashlights!"

He held up a flashlight and faced the camera, which zoomed in on him. "Shines brighter, and lasts longer, than the competition. And they even glow in the dark." He then turned back to the campers, and the camera zoomed out. "Yours to take home after the challenge.

"As for you, Team Survivor, you get the interns' flashlights. Fresh 8-hour batteries, just to make sure I don't get sued, but not as bright. And these ones, I'm going to want back after the challenge. We good? Good. Let's go!"

* * *

The scene cut forward to the twenty-eight campers trekking down the mineshaft. Jasmine was visibly on the verge of a panic attack. "We could be buried alive in here!" she whispered sharply.

"Doubtful," Cameron told her. "While the supports down here are old, they're actually very well-built. Obviously, whoever originally built this mine cared quite a bit about safety standards."

"So...not Chris," Topher inferred.

"Probably not."

"Hey, guys," said Owen, who everyone had pretty much universally agreed would go down first (given that he was the second-heaviest camper of the bunch, and was less sure-footed than the #1 or #3). "Look, the tunnel opens up."

Which was true. The tunnel led to a wide circular area, with multiple tunnels branching off.

"So...we just pick one?" asked Beth. B just shrugged in response.

"I don't like this place," Shawn said. "Dark, only one visible exit, no real defenses to speak of, and no emergency supplies. If the zombies attack while we're down here, we're as good as dead." He walked towards the second tunnel from the right. "I'm going this way. Hopefully one of us finds that statue quick."

And with that, the teens started to move in random directions.

* * *

The camera cut forward to one of the tunnels, which contained Noah, B, and Dawn. As they walked, Dawn looked at B. "What is it that you want to talk to me about?"

B looked at Noah suspiciously. Noah just shrugged. "Don't mind me. I cannot overstate just how much I do not care." With that, he walked a bit ahead.

B took out his text-to-speech device. _"I'm worried about the divide that has formed on my team. Scott and Courtney seem to really hate Scarlett, and the feeling is mutual, and they've roped everyone else into their feud. I'm questioning whether throwing in my lot with the two of them was really a good idea."_

Dawn thought for a moment. "I'll be honest with you, this is a pretty bad situation. Courtney is ambitious to a fault due to the pressure that her family has put on her for her whole life, and Scott thinks he's smarter than everyone around him because of how much of his life he's spent with that being the case. But Scarlett..." She shivered slightly. "I've never seen so much hatred in one person before, and I can't even find a _reason_ for it in her aura."

B cringed. But before he could reply, he heard Noah's voice. "Hey, look at this."

Noah was shining his flashlight on a carved-out section of the tunnel wall. Obviously, something had been dug out of the wall, but that's not what had caught his interest. _"Fresh_ dynamite. Fresher than anything else down here."

"Maybe Chris is storing it here for a challenge later?" Dawn surmised.

B bent down to examine the crate. _"It's not wired or anything, so that's probably it. Still, odd place to store it."_

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Oh, just you wait for next challenge. You'll _love_ what we'll be doing with that."

**End confessional**

* * *

Meanwhile, Dave, Lindsay, Tyler, Leshawna, and Cameron were exploring another tunnel. As they did so, Tyler and Lindsay were making out as vigorously as they could while walking. Dave glared at them for a few seconds.

* * *

**Confessional: Dave**

"How did I get roped into watching these two? I'd leave them behind, but I don't trust them to keep it in their pants."

**End confessional**

* * *

Leshawna looked at them out of the corner of her eye. "How do they breathe like that?"

Dave shrugged. "I don't know. I just wish they would stop. Freaks."

As they walked, the group ran into a fork in their path. Tyler and Lindsay went to take the left path, only to be stopped by Dave. "Not so fast. I'm not letting the two of you go off on your own. Tyler, you're taking the left path. Lindsay, you and I will take the right one."

"Why do I have to go on my own?" Tyler whined. Dave responded, "Because you strike me as being _slightly_ smarter than her."

* * *

The scene shifted to another tunnel, where Owen and Sugar were exploring. Sugar was watching Owen intently, while Owen was oblivious.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"I was gonna take out Bridgette first. Her nicey-nice girl act ain't foolin' me. But she can wait. Owen's happy-go-lucky act is convincin' e-nuff that it fooled me at first, and he found one a' them immu-nity idols. He's too dangerous to leave alone."

**End confessional**

* * *

The episode continued in a time-lapse, with the small groups of players that had gone together into tunnels separating as the tunnels themselves branched off.

Eventually, the tunnels began to connect to each other. In one of those tunnels, Dave ran into Scarlett. "Oh, it's you," he said. "I have to ask, how do you put up with those two morons?"

"They're abysmally stupid, but they know their place," Scarlett answered. "Even so, listening to them is a chore, and Lindsay frequently insists on painting my nails, or giving me a makeover, or something else pointless. I have to keep in mind that it will all be worth it in the end."

Dave sighed. "Well, it could be worse. Could be on the other team. With _Sugar._ I had to put up with her for _weeks_ , but now I'm finally free."

"She was rather irksome in the brief time she was on my team," Scarlett agreed.

* * *

Cameron was walking through a tunnel when he saw something reflect the light from his flashlight. "Could it be...?" he mused, and ran over to it. However, upon running over to it, he realized that it was not, in fact, the Chris statue. Rather, it was a metal spike that had been driven into the cave wall that somehow hadn't completely rusted yet.

Suddenly, the ground collapsed beneath Cameron. Reacting quickly, he managed to catch the ground before he completely fell into the new hole, and managed to climb his way out.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"No way I could have done that back at the start of the season. I guess I really have gotten stronger."

**End confessional**

* * *

After he had climbed his way out of the hole, Cameron smelled something gross. "Flatulence. At a guess, I'd say Owen." He followed the stink back to its source, only to find not Owen, but Sugar holding what appeared to be a diamond.

"Aw yeah, Sugar's goin' to college!" Sugar said to herself. "I don't even need ta win now! I can just go to that fancy-schmancy resort for the rest of the game!"

"That's not a diamond," Cameron said, looking over her shoulder. "The formation of a diamond here would be geologically impossible."

Sugar jumped slightly at Cameron's voice, but then relaxed when she saw who it was. "How do you know? I reckon you're just tryin' to trick me so that you can have the diamond for yerself!" she accused.

Cameron saw a half-rusted chisel on the ground and handed it to her. "Diamonds can't be scratched by metal. Try scratching it with this."

Sugar eyed him suspiciously. "How do I know that's true?"

Cameron gave her a look that showed he thought very little of her intelligence, but he finally said, "Well, why do you think diamonds are so expensive? They have to charge money for them because cutting them to be small enough to be used in jewelry requires special tools and is very hard."

Sugar thought about it for a little while, then said, "I thought it was just 'cause they're purty."

"No, it's because diamond jewelry is so difficult to make," Cameron told her. "Plenty of things are pretty that aren't as expensive as diamonds. For example, quartz is much easier to work with, and despite being pretty, only rare varieties of it are valuable."

Sugar thought a bit more, then scratched her gem with the chisel. After dusting off the rust that came off, she was disheartened to see a scratch on the gem. "Oh, boo."

"Yeah, it's just cubic zirconia," Cameron told her. "You might still be able to get a few thousand dollars for it, but it won't pay your college tuition."

* * *

Elsewhere in the tunnels, Topher was searching. As he searched, he narrated to himself. "And the handsome future host of Total Drama continues to search the dark tunnels." He then looked at the wall, and saw the lower half of a body stuck inside one of the shafts to the surface that had been used for ventilation.

"I'll help you!" Topher shouted and pulled Shawn out of the shaft. Shawn screamed, but then calmed down when he saw that it was just Topher.

"I thought you were a zombie," he said. "I guess I can't fit through those. Guess I'll have to fight them if they show up."

"Sure," Topher said. "Don't you think you've played the zombie thing out a bit? I'm just worried that you might be considered one-note and annoying."

"Well, sorry for looking out for my safety! I just don't want to die, that's it."

"Well, given some of the things our host has made us do, that may actually be a legitimate concern on this show," Topher admitted.

"Yeah, Chris sucks," Shawn said. "Why do you keep poking at him? Seems like you could incur his wrath like that."

"I'd count it as a victory," Topher told him. "You know, my father was actually considered to potentially be the host of this show. He got turned down in favor of Chris because Chris was a bigger name in the industry. But, if Chris were to wrongfully eliminate me, and I were to sue and get him dismissed, then Dad could get his job, and I could be his assistant. And then, when dear old Dad decides to move on to new projects, well then, he has a perfectly good son with a few years of experience with the show, both as assistant host and as a contestant."

"The logical choice for host."

"Of course."

"Smart."

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Shawn asked Topher, "Wanna see something cool?"

"Sure."

Shawn reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a large tooth. "It's a dinosaur tooth. I got it from Boney Island."

"You did _what?"_ Topher panicked. "But what about the curse?"

"Relax, I doused it in holy water," Shawn told him. "I even tested the water on a real-life vampire. It's the real thing."

Topher just looked at him. "I think we should split up again. After all, we're on different teams. We can't both find the statue."

* * *

**Confessional: Topher**

"Someday, I'm going to get the full story behind the vampire on Boney Island. But right now I don't want to hear it."

**End confessional**

* * *

In yet another part of the mine, Zoey and Beth ran into each other. "Oh...hi," Beth said awkwardly.

"Hi," Zoey awkwardly replied. "You got to this tunnel first?"

"Yeah, but don't bother searching inside," Beth said. "It's a dead end."

Suddenly, the light from Beth's flashlight reflected off of something mostly hidden in the cave wall. The two girls scrambled and fought to pull it out of the wall...only for dust to start falling from the ceiling. Zoey saw it and tackled Beth out of the way just in time, but the exit was blocked by falling rocks.

Beth gingerly approached the pile of rocks and pulled a mostly rusted metal pole out. "I think we pulled out a structural support beam."

Zoey began to panic, but Beth calmed her down. "See, there are still a few cameras here. They know where we are. They won't leave us down here."

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Won't I?"

...

"No, I won't. But it looks like those two won't be much help for their teams in the challenge now."

**End confessional**

* * *

Dawn slowly walked through a tunnel. "This would be much easier if Charlie left more of a trail." She got down on her hands and knees and peered closely at one of the rocks in front of her. "A-ha. Fresh soil. I'm on the right track."

"No, that was me," said Heather's voice. Dawn stood up and saw Heather looking into a pit, which was around eight feet deep. "I thought the statue might be in there, but it doesn't look like it."

Dawn stood next to her and looked down. "No, it doesn't." However, she wasn't expecting Heather to shove her, and she fell in.

"Don't worry," Heather told her. "The interns will get you out of there after my team wins. For now, just stay there and relax. And put some thought into how you're going to explain this to your team later." Chuckling to herself, the queen be turned and left.

Dawn looked like she was about to get angry, but instead sat down and just took several deep breaths.

Then she abruptly stopped. "Ah, that was calming. Now to find a way out of here...I can't climb these walls; they're too slippery."

After seeing part of the minecart rail stretch over the edge of the pit into the empty space above her, she had an inspiration. "Yes, that could work." She then looked at her sweater sadly and bit a small hole in it, and then started unraveling it.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"And I liked that sweater, too..."

**End confessional**

* * *

Brick trembled as he slowly walked through the mine. When a flashlight shined at him, he flinched

"Brick?" Sammy asked, and the camera revealed that she was the one holding the flashlight.

Brick sighed and relaxed. "You surprised me. I'm just really tense here...in the dark..."

Sammy took his hand and the two walked together. "Let's take your mind off the dark. What are you planning do do if you win?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Promise."

"I want to go to fashion school," Brick admitted. "I may have some love for various aspects of the military but I can't see myself in combat. I suppose logistics wouldn't be too bad and it's my backup plan, but I've actually been fascinated by fashion for some time, even before military school. Yeah, I know the army princess dress was a disaster, but...I mean, Chef loved it so much he made his own! And I can only improve from there, right?"

* * *

Zoey and Beth were attempting to clear the rocks out of the way of their escape. "And just because I'm short and need glasses, none of the other girls take me seriously!" Beth said. "Is it that hard to believe that I like chick flicks and makeup, not video games and foreign films?"

"I get it," Zoey responded. "I mean, I have a similar problem. I've tried to connect with other people who like comics, and tabletop games, and indie films...but I either get treated like a fake-fan, sexually harassed, or both. I can't be friends with other geeks because they won't accept me as one of their own, and I can't be friends with the popular crowd because I can't relate to them. Sometimes I wish I looked like you."

"I wish I looked like you too," Beth sighed, as she moved another piece of rubble aside. She then saw a light. "Hey, over here! Help us!"

The lights got closer, revealing Geoff and Lightning. "Sha-dang! What happened here?"

"We got blocked in by a rockslide!" Beth said.

Geoff immediately got to helping dig the two girls out. Lightning hesitated briefly.

"Hey, help us out, dude!" Geoff said.

"R-right," Lightning said, and got to helping as well.

* * *

Lindsay stepped in a stream. Having no idea where she was going, she decided to follow the water and see where it went. After following it for a while, she saw a flash of metal. "What's this?" she asked herself, picking up the silver Chris statue.

"And Lindsay has found the statue!" Chris's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Please stay where you are; the interns will come for you shortly to guide you out of the mine."

* * *

After the interns had safely extracted all of the teens from the mine, Sugar found Alejandro and Sky discussing something. "Hey, you gonna vote for Owen tonight? He ain't been too helpful from what I seen."

"He hasn't done too much lately," Sky admitted. "I'd be surprised if he wasn't the one to go home tonight."

"I was going to vote for him anyway," Alejandro agreed. "Sharing a cabin with him is _no muy bueno_. The stench is hard to stomach."

"You do that," Sugar told them. "He found that i-mu-nity idol. I think he's more of a threat than he looks like. He's acting all happy-go-lucky, but he's schemin' and plannin' all this time."

Unbeknownst to Sugar, Shawn was listening in.

* * *

**Confessional: Shawn**

"Okay, while I did immunize Owen out of prior commitment, I also had a second, less altruistic goal in mind. I wanted to see how the rest of the team would react to Owen. Observe their interactions and opinions of him over time. But us losing today might have just ruined that plan. Owen's the obvious target tonight. I need to know who's going to try to get him eliminated when he _isn't._ I just hope I can find someone else to shift the target to."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris addressed Team Survivor. "Here again already, huh? And this time, none of you can be blamed for your loss today, so it could be any of you on the chopping block. Cameron, you're the least athletic member of your team. Are you worried that it might be you?"

"Not really," Cameron told the host. "I might have worried earlier in the season, but I think I've proven myself by now."

"Well, what about you, Zoey? You spent almost the entire challenge trapped behind some rocks and had to be rescued."

"Hey, that was not my fault!" Zoey protested.

"Dawn, you have yet to prove yourself to Team Survivor. Could you be the next one gone?"

"I am slightly worried," Dawn admitted. "But I have performed adequately in challenges while still on the Gopher team, so my teammates know that I do at least have relevant skills. Hopefully, that will be enough to keep me safe tonight."

"We'll see," Chris told her. "What about you, Noah? Are you worried that your teammates might not appreciate the attitude?"

"I think you already know the answer to that," Noah told him. "And you're just trying to build tension. It's not working."

"Isn't it?" Chris asked. "But you're right, you're not going home tonight." He tossed Noah a marshmallow. "Neither is Geoff, Lightning, Alejandro, Shawn, Leshawna, Duncan, Sky, or Bridgette.

"Cameron, you're right. You have proven that you can keep up with your team." Cameron caught his marshmallow and ate it.

"Zoey, yes, your team did not blame you for what happened today." The host tossed her a marshmallow as well.

"And Dawn, you're safe too." The pixie-like girl caught her marshmallow with an audible sigh of relief.

"No, the campers whose safety is in question are Owen and Sugar. Sugar, you're a returnee who got eliminated fourth and you've gotten on some people's nerves, but you have done well in the past couple of challenges. And Owen, many of your teammates like you and you have sometimes been able to keep up with your team, but your performance in the last few challenges hasn't been all that good, and the immunity idol drew a lot of attention to you.

"And tonight's loser is...

"Owen! You're done!"

"Aww, and I was having so much fun, too," Owen sighed. "I guess all good things must come to an end. I'll miss all of you!" he dramatically stated, raising his arms for a group hug. Several of his teammates obliged him (though not Sugar or Alejandro), but once they hugged him, he let out a fart which sent them all reeling. "Sorry."

Chris held his nose. "Just get on the Boat of Losers." Owen did so, and the boat departed (notably slower than usual).

Still holding his nose, Chris quickly said, "The rest of you are safe for tonight," then briskly walked away from where Owen had been standing.

* * *

The next day was a free day. As his team was getting up, Lightning scowled at Sugar. Then he began to smile evilly. "Sha-tention! It's time for the daily team workout! That means all of you!"

"I thought it was just the old Moose team that had to work out with you," Duncan complained.

"That was before," Lightning said. He then poked Sugar's stomach. "And Lightning thinks some of his other teammates could use the strength training."

"Hey, don't touch me!" Sugar protested.

"Okay, Lightning wants to see all of you do a hundred sit-ups!" He stared at Sugar and smirked. Sugar scowled at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With school having ended, there was no reason for me not to work on this. Except a lack of inspiration, which contributed to this chapter not being as good as I'd like it to be. But hopefully, as I get back into the swing of writing, I'll begin to feel more inspired.
> 
> For anyone reading this on this site, finally caught up! Expect updates to be very slow from here on out.
> 
> I like Owen and all, but I wish he hadn't stuck around for so long in TDA. He was a good winner for TDI (good social game, decent in challenges, and lucky but not improbably so), and he made a great comedic duo with Noah in both World Tour and the Ridonculous Race, but he was mostly just annoying in TDA after Izzy got eliminated.
> 
> Please review, it really helps me! And please add to the TVTropes page!
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)
> 
> 52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)
> 
> 50: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 49: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)
> 
> 44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)
> 
> 42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 40: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 39: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 37 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 37 (tie): Aiden, the Hate Sink
> 
> 36: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 34: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 33: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 31: Trent, the Musician
> 
> 30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 29: Harold, the Nerd with Mad Skillz
> 
> 28: Owen, the Optimist


	28. Leading The Blind

**T** **eams:**

**Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean: B, Beth, Brick, Courtney, Dave, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Team Survivor: Alejandro, Bridgette, Cameron, Dawn, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Shawn, Sky, Sugar, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened with the Mess Hall as the two teams were eating breakfast. As Alejandro passed Scott, Scott stood up and poured a cup of ice down the back of his shirt. He laughed hysterically at Alejandro's reaction.

"Was that really necessary?" Alejandro asked him.

"Not really," Scott admitted. "But it was funny." Some of his alliance-mates from the former Gopher team gave him disapproving looks, and he rolled his eyes.

Chris then barged into the Mess Hall. "Hey, Team Survivor! Enjoy your early morning workout?"

"Shove off," Sugar spat between bites of her breakfast.

"Excuse her," Noah said. "She's just exhausted after never having exercised a day in her life. Besides yesterday, obviously."

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"I still find the morning workout a miserable experience. But it's made a bit better by having someone else more miserable than me."

**Confessional: Sugar**

"Hey, I work out! I'm strong e-nuff to throw a tractor! I just ain't a runner, or a sit-up-er!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"And Team Me! How's that idol hunt going?"

"Up yours," Courtney replied.

"Well, regardless of all of that, it's challenge time! Get ready for the Blindfold Obstacle Course of Doom!"

"Taking naming conventions from Saturday morning cartoon villains, I see," Noah remarked dryly.

"Silence! Follow me, peons!"

* * *

"This is your challenge for the day!" Chris announced, as the camera showed an obstacle course. "First up, the Deadly Dash! A simple one hundred foot dash (we measured it this time). But don't step on one of the Whoopie Cushions if you value your skin!" In the center of the run was Chef, holding a power washer.

"Second, we have the Miserable Maze! Walled with 100% genuine thornbrush!" A small garden maze was shown, with thornbrush walls as promised.

"Third is the Pitiless Pipes! Be warned, all but one are hiding painful surprises!" The camera showed a wall with nine large plastic pipes like you would see on a playground going through it, each of which was a different color.

"Fourth, the Perfidious Palisade! Climb the rope over the wall and then jump down, but choose your rope wisely!" The camera showed a wall with four ropes hanging down. Two of the ropes looked like normal ropes, one was red, and the last was actually a large wire that was only mostly insulated.

"Up next, the Treacherous Tires! Twenty-five feet of tires, but some are concealing traps!" The camera showed a field of tires, some of which were painted red.

"Following that, we have the Daunting Descent! Be careful which step you step on!" The camera showed a deep pit with two very steep wooden staircases. Some of the stairs were heavily cracked.

"For lucky number seven, the Adverse Ascension! Careful where you put your hands!" A rock wall stretched out of the pit. Some of the handholds were standard, but others were trapped in ways from being covered in grease to being made of metal and sparking.

"Next is the Nefarious Net! Most of the places where the ropes are joined are held together by actual metal. But some are just held together by magnets, so don't fall!" The two nets were vertical nets made of rope, and each connection between two ropes was covered in metal. Most of the joining points were silver, but some were red. They resembled something that might be found at a park.

"Then we have the Perilous Path. Step carefully now, or you'll fall in the mud!" The camera showed that the "Perilous Path" was a series of connected wires, a few with tiny wooden footsteps attached. Some of the footsteps were supported by two or more wires, but some were supported by only one.

"The Slippery Slope comes next. Make your way down, but don't step on the grease, or your descent will be a painful and very greasy one!" The camera showed what looked to be a pair of large slides covered with grease, with grease-free pieces of wood occasionally jutting upwards to act as places for the contestants to put their feet.

"Back on the ground, we have the Calamitous Crawl. Crawl under the barbed wire, but be careful not to crawl under a point where the barbed wire is too low!" Twenty-five feet of mud was shown, with posts holding barbed wire over it at varied heights.

"The Penultimate Pendulums are the second-to-last obstacle. If you get knocked off the balance beam, you have to go back to the start and try again! Mainly because there's no other way up to the observation tower for the final obstacle except to climb the ladder and cross the balance beam." The camera showed rope ladders leading up to a wooden platform. From the platform, two balance beams led to a small wooden tower. In the middle of each balance beam was what looked like a swinging foam wrecking ball.

"And, last but not least, the Malicious Minefield! I think that one's pretty self-explanatory." The camera showed a fifty-foot stretch of dirt, with unburied land mines in several places. Then it focused on Chris. "Today's episode is sponsored by Moria's Mines. Land mines, dynamite, fireworks, they have materiel for all of your explosive needs."

He turned back to face the campers. "Questions?"

"I have one," Duncan said. "What's the deal with the alliteration?"

"I got the idea from a series of books I've been reading," Chris replied. "The titles are—"

Courtney interrupted him. "Wait, you _read?"_

"Yeah?"

"You don't read," she said dismissively.

"Yeah, I do."

"No, I'm with Courtney on this," Zoey interjected. "You seem like a 'movie of the book' kind of guy."

"Wait, I think I know what series he's talking about," Noah commented. "It's about three kids who get tormented by a washed-up actor who wants their money."

The campers made a collective noise of understanding. "If that's what it's about, then I believe Chris," Heather said. "He probably relates to the villain."

"Well—I mean—that's not the _only_ reason I like the books," Chris defended. "Just shut up and figure out who's doing what so we can get started. Oh, but one more thing first. You'll be doing all of the obstacles _blindfolded!"_

"We know. The name gave it away," Sky told the host.

"After you do your obstacle, you will take your blindfold off, and guide the next person through their obstacle," Chris elaborated. "The guide for the Deadly Dash will be the one doing the Malicious Minefield. Team Me? Since you won last time, you can select a person to sit this one out. Oh, and get the interns to give walkie-talkies out, because some of you will need them."

He then faced the camera. "We will be back after this short break."

* * *

After a short time skip, Chris announced the beginning of the challenge. "And we're back! Let's get things started! First, we have Jasmine versus Lightning for the Deadly Dash!"

"Sha-peasy!" Lightning shouted. Jasmine smirked.

"Next, Topher faces Dawn in the Miserable Maze!".

Dawn faced Topher. "You might want to take a step to your left."

"Why would I..." Topher was cut off by a seabird with a plastic bottle-holder around its neck hit him in the shoulder and he recoiled into the thornbrush.

"Heh heh. Good stuff. You are actually wearing your blindfold, right Dawn?" When Dawn nodded, Chris moved on. "At the Pitiless Pipes, Lindsay will face Cameron."

"Wait, I thought I was supposed to crawl through the pipe," Lindsay questioned. "But how do I face Carmen unless he goes through the other way?"

"It's a figure of speech, Lindsay," Chris told her. "At the Perfidious Palisade, it's Courtney against Geoff!" The camera showed Geoff doing stretches while Courtney just stood there.

"Next are the Treacherous Tires, where Sugar will race against _Beverly."_ B scowled at the use of his name, and Sugar laughed.

"The Daunting Descent follows, where Noah will take on Beth!" Beth looked nervous, while Noah simply looked bored.

"Tyler and Bridgette climb for the win at the Adverse Ascension!" Tyler cracked his knuckles, while Bridgette did some sort of breathing exercise.

"Heather and Zoey will navigate the Nefarious Net!"

"Ready to _lose?"_ Heather taunted. Zoey ignored her.

"And then it's Duncan against Scott on the Perilous Path!"

"I'll smoke you like a sausage," Scott trash-talked.

"Hope you like the taste of defeat," Duncan slung back.

"And then, for the Slippery Slope, Shawn against Dave!"

"Why did I let myself get talked into doing this one," Dave mumbled to himself.

"You will warn us if zombies show up while we're blindfolded, right, Chris?" Shawn asked.

"Sure I will, Shawn. Up next is the Calamitous Crawl, and Al against Samey!"

"It's Sammy!" and "It's Alejandro!" were shouted at the same time.

"Then we have Scarlett versus Sky versus the Penultimate Pendulum!" Sky stretched as the two waited.

"Finally, Brick and Leshawna will navigate the Murderous Minefield. But first they must direct Jasmine and Lightning. Katie, meanwhile, will not be participating."

"Okay, are you all ready? Three...two...one...GO!"

At that, Jasmine and Lightning took off. After several seconds of running, Brick sharply spoke into a walkie-talkie, the matching one of which was held by Jasmine. "Stop! Now, step to the left. Forward, but slower this time."

Leshawna, two seconds later, shouted for Lightning to stop. Unfortunately, Chef heard her and sprayed in the direction the shout had come from. Lightning was far enough away that it didn't hurt him too badly, but the water did sting him.

Leshawna more carefully directed Lightning through the improptu minefield of whoopee cushions. For several meters it looked like the football player would make it through without being sprayed further, but as Jasmine was reaching the end of the obstacle and Lightning was still about two-thirds of the way through, he stepped on one of the cushions, causing Chef to spray him again.

Jasmine reached the end of the run. When Brick told her so, she removed her blindfold and adjusted her walkie-talkie to be on the same frequency as the one Topher's was on. "Okay, two steps forward, then turn left."

"And Jasmine brings Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean an early lead!" Topher narrated as he followed her instructions. "Can Topher furt-AAH!" He didn't take big enough steps, leading to him walking into the thorns.

"Take bigger steps!" Jasmine told him. "Okay, just one American foot and you're clear to turn left."

While Topher was bumbling his way through the maze, Lightning reached the end of the run, his skin reddened. He took off his blindfold and looked at the maze. "Uhh..."

"No need to worry about me. I can handle this one." Dawn jogged into the maze and navigated it perfectly, reaching the end ahead of Topher.

"Okay, time out!" Chris declared. He angrily walked over to Dawn and examined her blindfold himself, obviously believing there was no way she could have navigated it on her own. Eventually, he was satisfied that she could not see through her blindfold. "How did you do that?"

"I'm part dryad," Dawn told him.

* * *

**Confessional: Dawn**

"I'm not part dryad. But he wouldn't believe me if I told him that I figured it out by listening to Jasmine directing Topher."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Okay, you can keep going," Chris said as Topher reached the exit and removed his own blindfold. "Not that one, the one to the right of that one," Dawn directed Cameron into the blue pipe. He crawled through, seemingly with no trouble.

"To your left," Topher directed Lindsay towards the same pipe.

"Which one is left?" Lindsay asked, but by chance, she moved in the correct direction and entered the same pipe as Cameron.

At the end of the pipe, Cameron exited first, followed by Lindsay. Cameron had his finger in a mousetrap, but otherwise both were unhurt.

"Heh heh. I wasn't being _entirely_ honest when I said one was trap-free," Chris admitted.

Sugar and B began to run through the tires. Sugar put her feet inside the tires, but B ran along the rims of them to avoid tripping.

B moved much faster than Sugar, but he was slowed down at one point by a trap. When he passed by one of the tires, a boxing glove shot out and hit him in the side, causing him to fall. A second one shot out of a different tire and hit him in the face.

The footage of the episode paused. "Let's watch that again in slo-mo," Chris said, showing the clip again in slow motion. "Ha ha ha! I could watch that all day!"

Despite Sugar not setting of any of the traps thanks to Cameron's direction, B reached the end of the obstacle well ahead of her. Beth asked him, "How are you going to warn me about broken steps if you can't talk?"

B took her walkie-talkie and turned up the volume high enough that there was audible static. Then he used his to contact hers, causing the static to cut off. "Oh! You'll do that when I'm about to step on a broken one?" Beth realized. She then started descending the steps.

When she was nearly at the bottom, Sugar arrived and took off her blindfold. "Stupid tires. Well, skinny, get to climbin' down. I'll warn ya if yer gonna step on a broke step."

"Fine," Noah said, unable to see Sugar's malicious smirk from under his blindfold. He began to walk down the stairs, but one of them broke under him and he fell down the rest of the steep flight.

Sugar laughed uproariously, as did Chris. "Well, that's one way to do that obstacle," Chris said.

Beth reached the bottom of the steps just as Noah was recovering from the tumble he took. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Noah said. "You'll warn me, eh?" he shouted at Sugar.

"I figgered this was quicker!" Sugar replied.

"Well, might as well get the rest of this over with," Noah grumbled. "Bridgette, the handholds above you for three feet above your head are safe.

Bridgette and Tyler climbed the rock wall, Tyler slightly faster than Bridgette. While for the most part, their partners kept them from grabbing the trapped handholds, at one point Bridgette grabbed one that was covered in glue, and Tyler put his weight on one that hadn't been properly screwed in and it fell off the wall. It would have taken him with it, but Tyler grabbed another handhold just in time.

"Boo! This isn't good TV! Get hurt more already!" Chris shouted.

Tyler reached the top of the wall first, and tagged Heather and removed his blindfold. Heather started on the net.

A few seconds later, Bridgette reached the top and removed her blindfold. Zoey began making her way across the net.

"Oh, don't put your hand there," Bridgette told her. "Yes, that one's safe."

"Oh, yeah!" Tyler realized. "I knew I was forgetting something."

As if on cue, one of the net's joints disconnected and Heather fell into the mud.

"Ha ha! That's better!" Chris said.

* * *

**Confessional: Heather (covered in mud)**

"Tyler is _so_ dead."

**End confessional**

* * *

Zoey made it across the net while Heather was still getting back up. She then took off her blindfold and let Duncan start on the Perilous Path. However, he quickly ended up falling off the wires and into the mud below. Chris laughed at his misfortune.

Heather eventually managed to reach the end of her obstacle just as Duncan had reached the halfway point. However, he got unlucky when he stepped on a tiny wooden platform that wasn't properly held up and fell in the mud again.

"Well, this is gonna suck," Heather said.

Scott thought for a moment. "Maybe not." He then crouched down, took one of the wires that made up the path in both hands, then wrapped both legs around it and let himself hang from it. He then used his hands to pull himself forward.

"That's a clever idea on Scott's part, but can he deal with the wire digging into his calves?" Chris asked.

However, Scott made it to the other side, changing position only long enough to get past the points where the wires joined together. It wasn't a flawless process, though; his progress was slow, and when he got other side, Duncan did as well, despite having fallen two more times.

Both of the boys took off their blindfolds, and Dave and Shawn started on the Slippery Slope. Both were moving slowly, albeit Dave being the slower of the two.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"I saw that we were going to lose the advantage here, but then I came up with a brilliant idea to win this challenge! If Shawn removes his blindfold before completing his obstacle, Team Survivor forfeits, so I just need to make him do that!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Is that a _zombie?"_ Scott asked loudly.

"Zombie?" Shawn shouted. He immediately dismounted from the elevated step into the grease, slid down the slope perfectly, and then removed the blindfold when he had reached the bottom.

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"It didn't work."

**End confessional**

* * *

Scott snarled, evidently angry. Then he smirked when he saw Dave put his foot over empty air. "Right there," he told the germaphobe. "The step is lower, so you'll have to lean in."

Dave leaned in. "I don't feel anything."

"Further!"

Dave leaned in further, and fell into the grease. He slid down, hitting multiple bars supporting the steps on his way down but still moving fast enough to catch up.

Alejandro had only just started crawling through the mud when Sammy started as well. However, even though she moved much faster than anyone would expect just by looking at her, she couldn't match Alejandro's pace. Alejandro was held up briefly by a bit of barbed wire snagging his shirt, which he had to unbutton and leave behind. When he did so, the camera zoomed in for several seconds on his abs.

Alejandro reached the end of the crawl several seconds before Sammy. When he reached the end, he removed his blindfold and Sky began walking across the beam toward the pendulum. "Wait," he said to her. "Now." Sky safely passed the pendulum and reached the tower.

Sammy reached the end of he crawl after that and removed her blindfold. "Okay, go."

Sky removed her blindfold, and told Leshawna to start. "Okay, slow now. Left. Forward. Stop. Right."

"McLean better watch himself," Leshawna said. "'Cause I'm gonna get him back for puttin' somethin' so dangerous in this challenge."

As Leshawna was about a third of the way through the minefield, Scarlett reached the tower. With that, Brick started making his way through the minefield, with Scarlett directing him. "Turn 30 degrees to your right. Now forward five steps."

Both Brick and Leshawna made slow progress. Chris asked the other teens, "What do you think? Should I try to spice things up?" Upon hearing the universal answer of "No you sick *bleep*!" he relented and decided to let them be.

Eventually, Leshawna began to get close to the end. Sky glanced at Scarlett, looked back to direct Leshawna, then looked back at Scarlett, having seen that Scarlett was smirking.

"Brick? Twenty degrees to your left. Six steps forward."

"Yes, ma'am!" Brick said, obeying her instructions. What he didn't realize was that there was a land mine in his path five steps ahead of him. When he stepped on it, it exploded.

"Stop the challenge! Stop the challenge!" Chris shouted, as two interns rushed to Brick with a stretcher.

* * *

As Brick was being taken away on the stretcher, Sammy confronted Scarlett. "What did you just do?"

"My eyesight isn't that good," Scarlett defended herself. "It was entirely unintentional."

"Bull*bleep*. You set Brick up," Sky accused. "I saw your face when you told him to step on that land mine. You were smirking."

"I-"

"And don't say you were thinking you were going to win! You were losing! Badly!"

"Sky is right," Dawn said. "Even if Scarlett didn't set Brick up on purpose, I can tell by her aura that she feels no guilt about what happened to him."

"Don't even try to spin your pseudoscientific falsehoods against me," Scarlett said. "Besides, if anyone is to blame, it's Chris. If he was at all responsible, he would not have implemented land mines at all. Or he would at least have used land mines that explode when you remove your foot, rather than land mines that explode when you step on them."

"You *bleep*! I'll kill you!" Courtney screamed. "Not if I kill her first!" Jasmine shouted. Chef and the interns had to physically restrain several of the campers to keep the scene from turning into a lynch mob.

* * *

**Confessional: Chris**

"Scarlett is right about the mines. I didn't know what type of mines I needed, so I just ordered the cheapest ones I could. Apparently that was a mistake. My bad."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chris addressed Team Chris Is Really(x4) Mean. "Brick has been airlifted to the hospital for treatment," he informed them. "I really should have been more careful about what kind of mines I bought. As for Scarlett, we considered having her removed from the competition."

"I. Did not. Direct. Brick. Onto. The landmine. On purpose," Scarlett insisted.

 _"However_ , we could not be entirely sure that it wasn't accidental," Chris continued. "Eye tests from before the game confirm that Scarlet's eyesight is indeed rather sucky. So she will not be removed from the game."

 _"WHAT?!"_ was the general reaction.

"But she's a menace! Just look at her!" Scott shouted.

"My decision is final," Chris said.

"This is all about ratings to you, isn't it?" Beth accused. "You don't want to get rid of Scarlett because she's a ratings magnet!"

"No comment," Chris replied. "And anyone who attempts to violently assault Scarlett will be accordingly punished."

* * *

After the Ceremony, everyone had collectively decided to ostracize Scarlett. When she could tell that the only ones paying attention were Lindsay and Tyler, she started fake-crying. To her credit, the fake-crying was fairly convincing.

Lindsay and Tyler took notice of her. "Why are you crying?" Lindsay asked.

"Brick got hurt and it's my fault!" Scarlett wailed. "And nobody believes me when I tell them it was an accident! I didn't mean for him to step on that land mine!"

"It's okay, I believe you," Lindsay told her.

"You've had our backs since day one," Tyler agreed. "I don't think you could have done something like that on purpose."

They both gave Scarlett a hug, neither able to see the evil smirk that had formed on Scarlett's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I went there.
> 
> Some of you may not fully understand why I went there. I will explain. I wanted to keep Scarlett firmly out of "Designated Villain" territory. Despite everyone talking up how she's a terrible person, up until now she hadn't done much to justify it. Doing something so cruel to someone as nice as Brick was a surefire way to demonstrate that yes, this is the same psychotic Scarlett we know from canon. It wouldn't be true to the character if she didn't do something like this.
> 
> I'm very sorry to Brick and all of his fans. I love the guy, as you might or might not have been able to tell. He's a great person who really does deserve all of the appreciation. But this simply wouldn't have been as much of a gut punch if it happened to a less pleasant person. Don't worry, he will make a full recovery by the end.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)
> 
> 52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)
> 
> 50: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 49: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)
> 
> 44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)
> 
> 42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 40: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 39: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 37 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 37 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 36: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 34: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 33: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 31: Trent, the Musician
> 
> 30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 29: Harold, the Nerd with Mad Skillz
> 
> 28: Owen, the Optimist
> 
> 27: Brick, the Cadet


	29. Dirty Little Secrets

**T** **eams:**

**Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean: B, Beth, Courtney, Dave, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Team Survivor: Alejandro, Bridgette, Cameron, Dawn, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Shawn, Sky, Sugar, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on Team Survivor post-workout. Some of them were currently in the washrooms showering, while others were waiting their turn.

Bridgette and Zoey were sitting together and they saw Duncan give Noah a wedgie. "Why are you friends with him?" Bridgette asked Zoey.

"I know Duncan can act like a jerk sometimes," Zoey admitted. "But he really isn't that bad. He doesn't really mean any harm by it, not really. Besides, he appreciates my art."

Sugar watched Bridgette suspiciously.

"Any particular reason you decided to make me relive one of the more omnipresent parts of my seventh grade experience?" Noah asked Duncan pointedly. "You know, aside from your immature need for validation."

"I'm just trying to bring back some sense of normalcy," Duncan said. "You have to have noticed how quiet it's been since Brick got airlifted out."

"Well, you're not wrong about that," Noah admitted. "I normally wouldn't mind the quiet, but the reason behind it makes us all uncomfortable."

"Yeah."

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"I don't think any of us were predicting what would happen to Brick. I didn't get along with him, but he wasn't a bad guy, and most people liked him. When he, of all people, got set up and hurt by a teammate..."

Duncan scratched the back of his head. "Maybe it would feel more normal if Scarlett got disqualified like Mal was, but she's still here."

**End confessional**

* * *

Alejandro exited the showers, fully dressed and with a towel wrapped around his head. Sugar asked him quietly, "Hey Al, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Alejandro cringed at the nickname. "Certainly. But please, don't call me that."

"What, Al?"

"Yes. Address me by my full first name or not at all."

"Well, wutever. I know you ain't as nice as you act. Nobody's that polite less'n they want somethin', and Justin told errybody how you double-crossed him. Don' worry, I just wanna team up with ya fer now."

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"I could play ignorant. Or, I could use this as an opportunity to get some people eliminated. I can easily pin the blame on Sugar afterward."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Okay, you've convinced me. I'll align with you," Alejandro agreed.

"Great. Now, I'm thinkin' we oughta lose Bridg-" Sugar continued, but was cut off by Alejandro. _"On one condition._ I get to pick the first person we go after."

"What? But that ain't fair!" Sugar protested.

" _You_ came to _me_ for help. I'd say it's perfectly fair, unless you don't _want_ my help," Alejandro countered.

" _Fine,"_ Sugar groaned. "Who do you wanna go after?"

"I have not decided yet," Alejandro told her. "I'll tell you when I do."

"Can we at least vote for Bridgette if you ain't decided when we lose next?" Sugar asked.

"If there isn't a more obvious target," Alejandro conceded.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"There won't be. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Over the intercom came Chef's voice. "Alright maggots! Assemble at the gym for your challenge! Now!"

After a short pause, Chef amended his statement. "It has come to my attention that some of y'all are showerin'. So, better finish that first. But make it quick!"

* * *

At the gym, a blond woman who definitely wasn't Chris addressed the campers, sans Sammy, who was still on her way. "Your challenge for today will test how well you know your team, and hopefully uncover some juicy secrets."

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Noah asked.

The woman laughed. "How do you not know who I am? Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran? I'm very famous." She only received blank stares.

Recognition then lit up in Topher's eyes. "Oh, I recognize you now! You're that annoying woman from Celebrity Manhunt who tried to bother Dad a few months ago! He refused because he says Celebrity Manhunt are 'vultures looking to kill as many celebrity's careers as they can before the network finally puts their rotten excuse for a show out of its misery.'"

Some of the campers chuckled at his bluntness. "Well. Are you always this rude?" Blaineley asked.

"Only to Chris," Chef told her. "He's mostly pretty nice to everyone else."

"It's a matter of respect," Topher said. "I respect my fellow campers, Chef, and the interns. I don't respect Chris, and I don't respect tabloids, which is effectively what Celebrity Manhunt is. Soon, they'll be running conspiracy theory episodes on how John Kennedy's death was planned by the Soviets. Or calling people racist and sexist for not watching TV shows they shill for."

"Hmph. As I was saying, today we're going to-" she continued, but was cut off by Sammy's quick arrival. "I'm here! Oh, hi Aunt Mildred. What are you doing here?"

"Aunt _Mildred?"_ Heather repeated, causing a round of laughter from the rest of the campers.

"That's _enough!"_ Blaineley shouted. "You will all address me as Blaineley, or as Ms. O'Halloran."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"I never understood that stage name. Aunt Mildred doesn't have, like, any Irish heritage. I know 'Mildred Maddox' isn't a famous-sounding name, but still."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Where's Chris, anyway? Did he finally get fired after that stunt he pulled last episode?" Courtney interjected.

"No, Chris is at an award show, which he will be attending for the next week or so. In the meantime, I will be your host," Blaineley explained. _"As I was saying,_ today's challenge is a game to test how well you know your teammates. I will read an embarrassing secret for one team, and everyone will have to hold up their dry erase board, with the name of the teammate they think the secret belongs to." As she said that, the interns passed out dry erase boards, markers, and erasers to the campers. "Oh, you may sit down on the bleachers."

The teams sat down, Team Survivor on one side, Team CIRRRRM on the other. "You will have ten seconds to write a name down on your dry erase board," Blaineley elaborated. "If the majority of the team guess right, you get a point. If not..." she trailed off as the interns placed the shock collars from the Truth or Scare challenge on the contestants' necks.

 _"Real_ original," Noah commented sarcastically.

"Is this entirely necessary?" Alejandro asked.

"Maybe not, but the viewers like it," Blaineley told him. "As well, if you guess wrong, the other team will get a chance to guess whose secret it is. If they guess right, they get the point. If not..."

"Yeah, we get the idea," Heather said bluntly.

"Most of the secrets belong to all of you. But we threw in a few of the eliminated campers' secrets to keep things interesting. Any questions?"

"What happens if two people have the same secret?" Beth asked.

"Good question," Blaineley admitted. "We tried to avoid that, but it could still happen. Which is why we brought back Clucky the chicken!"

The aforementioned fowl walked up to Blaineley. "If we accidentally assigned a secret to the wrong person, or two people have the same secret, they can take the lie detector chicken test to prove it." Tyler cringed.

"First team to ten wins. Any other questions? No? Good. Let's get things started. I'll give you each an easy one to start out with just to make sure that you get it. Team Survivor, which member does Jasmine have a crush on?"

The members of Team Survivor all quickly wrote down a name and turned over their boards. Every single one had written down "Shawn."

Every single one except Shawn himself, who was still trying to think of whether Jasmine had said she had a crush on someone. When he finally noticed his teammates' boards, he was surprised. "Wait, really?"

"Dude, even the Lightning noticed," Lightning told him.

"She isn't subtle about it," Sky concurred.

"You really didn't notice?" Zoey asked.

"And everyone on this island knew but me?" Shawn asked. Upon hearing all of his fellow campers say "YES" at once, he palmed his face. "Now I feel like an idiot."

"I don't think I even need to say 'that's correct,'" Blaineley said. "Team Chris, which member of your team was sent to juvenile hall for destruction of property?"

All of Team Chris's boards except for Scarlett's, Lindsay's, and Tyler's read "Scarlett." Scarlett had written "Scott," Tyler had written "Courtney," and Lindsay had written "Mick."

"Well, at least Lindsay is thinking outside the box," Blaineley noted. "But yes, it was Scarlett. Destroyed a rather expensive car with a crowbar. I think you get it, so let's start on the hard ones. Team Survivor, which member has a scar on his or her midsection that he or she is ashamed of?"

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"Okay, whose midsections have I seen enough of to rule out? Based on challenges where we wore our swimsuits, I'm sure it's definitely one of the girls, because the remaining girls all wear one-piece swimsuits or wetsuits of some sort except for Sugar.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. I just have a good memory."

**Confessional: Leshawna**

"Who would have an embarrassing scar? Probably someone who thinks about their looks a lot."

**Confessional: Zoey**

"Is it even someone who hasn't been eliminated?"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Prepare your answers!" Blaineley said, forcing each of the contestants to quickly write something down. "Now, show your answers!"

Team Survivor turned over their dry erase boards. Geoff, Dawn, Cameron, and Noah had written down Bridgette's name. Sky and Alejandro had written down "Zoey," while Lightning and Duncan had guessed "Leshawna." Leshawna and Bridgette had written down "Sugar." Shawn had written "Dawn."

"It looks like the majority opinion on Team Survivor is that Bridgette is the one with the scar," Blaineley noted. "That is...correct!"

Bridgette lifted up her sweatshirt to show the scar. "I have some kind of protein intolerance, and that led to kidney surgery when I was a kid," she explained. "I know it's not really something to be ashamed of, but I really don't like looking at it."

"I did notice that you have low-protein meals specially made whenever Chef makes something that actually has protein in it," Cameron noted.

"Which isn't often," Noah shot at Chef. Chef growled at him.

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar and Alejandro**

Sugar looked at Alejandro, who was squeezed in the confessional with her. "Think Bridgette's gon' get voted out over her medical condition?"

Alejandro shook his head. "Considering that this is Episode 29 and Cameron's still here, I doubt it."

Sugar shrugged. "I guess."

**End confessional**

* * *

"It doesn't really hold me back. I just have to watch what I eat," Bridgette hand-waved.

"Well, that's 2 for Team Survivor, 1 for Team Chris. Team Chris, whose parents were once anti-vaxxers?" Blaineley asked.

Team Chris thought, and wrote names down. When they turned over their signs, it was fairly clear that the team wasn't really sure. Scott voted "Katie." Topher, Jasmine, and Katie voted "Dave." Heather and Dave voted "Scott." Courtney, Sammy, and Scarlett voted "B." Tyler voted "Jasmine." Beth, when prompted to reveal her answer, revealed that she hadn't even written down a name.

Lindsay voted "Roy." Blaineley looked at her. "I don't even know who you mean. There isn't anyone with a name anywhere close to Roy who was on this show."

"Oh," Lindsay said.

"Since we have a tie, Lindsay and Beth will vote again," Blaineley said. The two girls looked at their teammates uncertainly. Lindsay uncertainly wrote a large "B" on her board. Beth looked at her teammates again. She decided to vote "katie."

"Okay, Team Chris voted for B. That is...incorrect!" Blaineley held out a remote. "And you know what that means!" She pressed the button, shocking Team Chris.

* * *

**Confessional: B**

_"I understand the idea. I'm mute, and that could be from an untreated childhood illness. Could be, but isn't; in reality it's the result of me swallowing a button cell battery. Half of my vocal chords were destroyed by it."_

**End confessional**

* * *

"Okay, Team Survivor. Which member of Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean has parents who used to be anti-vaxxers?"

Team Survivor seemed equally unsure. Shawn wrote something down, and Lightning looked over his shoulder and copied his vote. Others thought, before eventually writing things down. They revealed their votes.

Shawn, Lightning, Bridgette, Leshawna, Sky, and Noah had voted "Scott." Cameron, Duncan, and Geoff voted "Dave." Dawn, Alejandro and Zoey voted "Beth." Sugar voted "Samey."

"Team Survivor votes Scott! And you know what that means!" Blaineley pressed the button to shock Team Survivor.

"What the heck? My parents aren't stupid enough to skip vaccinations!" Scott shouted, offended.

Leshawna shrugged. "You seem like you got some stupid white trash in yo' family." Scott sneered at her.

"So, was it Dave?" Duncan asked.

"No, it was me," Beth admitted. "They realized they were wrong when I was a few years old and a family friend's kid died of measles."

* * *

**Confessional: Beth**

"I was too young to remember. It was a sad story but not something life-changing."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Anyways, let's move on to our next question. Team Survivor, which member once got tazed by a famous person's security guards?"

Most of Team Survivor voted "Duncan." Duncan himself, along with Geoff, voted "Sugar."

"Incorrect!" Zap. "Team Chris?"

The majority vote on Team Chris was "Sugar." "Incorrect!" Zap.

"It was me," Lightning admitted. "The Lightning got tazed when he sha-punched Nick Cannon in his [bleep] stupid [bleep] face."

* * *

**Confessional: Lightning**

"And the Lightning ain't sorry either! Nick Cannon is a sha-[bleeeeeep]! Sha- _nobody_ accuses Pops of takin' steroids! Nick Cannon, if you're watching, go sha-[bleeeeeeeeep] ya [bleeeeeeeeep] with a shovel!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"Woah. What did Nick Cannon ever do to you?" Blaineley asked. Then she decided, "Never mind, you can tell me later. Team Chris, which of you decided it would be a good idea to kick a skunk to get it away from you? And then couldn't get the smell out, so they had to go to a big school event smelling like skunk spray?"

The members of Team Chris looked at each other. When they voted, the campers allied with Scott voted for Tyler, as did Scarlett. The others voted for Scott.

"And Team Chris votes for Tyler. That is...correct!" Blaineley announced.

* * *

**Confessional: Scarlett**

"As much as I find Scott unpleasant, I doubt he would be stupid enough to kick a skunk. His cousin on the other hand..."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Team Survivor, which member had a childhood crush on Freakazoid?"

Team Survivor looked at each other. Then every single one of them seemed to instantly know the answer.

When Blaineley had them turn over their boards, every single one of them had written "Izzy."

"That is...correct!" Blaineley answered. "So now we're at Team Survivor two, Team Chris one. Let's give Team Chris a chance to even things up, shall we? Team Chris, who still sucks their thumb when they sleep?"

The members of Team Chris started writing their answers down. Scott looked over Sammy's shoulder and copied her answer. When they showed their answers, Sammy, Jasmine, Heather, B, Beth, and Scott had voted for Amy. Courtney, Scarlett, and Topher had voted for Max, and Lindsay had drawn a crude but recognizable picture of Max. Tyler hadn't written down anything, and Katie and Dave had voted for DJ.

"And Team Chris votes Amy! Bhat is...incorrect!" Blaineley announced, zapping Team Chris. "Team Survivor, which-"

"Um, Aunt Mildred," Sammy said, getting Blaineley to glare at her. "That actually _is_ one of Amy's secrets."

"I'm pretty sure it isn't," Blaineley brushed her off. "Team Sur-"

"No, Samey's right," Heather said. "That's one of _Lamey's_ secrets." Sammy looked at her, confused.

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Did she use my nickname so that her nickname for Amy would rhyme with mine?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Fine. If you want to take the test, fine. Clucky, get up here."

Clucky the chicken sat on Sammy's lap. Tyler, who was sitting near her, yelped and fell out of his seat.

"Amy sucks her thumb when she sleeps," Sammy told Clucky. Clucky stared at her intently for a few seconds, but confirmed that she was telling the truth.

"Huh. Amy told me that was one of your secrets," Blaineley said. "Point to Team Chris!"

"Amy has a habit of telling people her embarrassing secrets are actually mine," Sammy told her.

Blaineley shrugged. "Team Survivor, which member has a tendency to burp when around someone they have a crush on?"

Team Survivor's members looked at each other. Upon revealing their boards, the only one who had not written down "Sugar" was Sugar herself. Sugar had written, "Jeff."

"Incorrect!" Blaineley said as she pressed the button on the remote.

Team Chris then cast their votes. The majority, with no one else really in mind, voted for Geoff.

"Incorrect!" Blaineley declared, zapping Team Chris.

The members of Team Survivor looked at each other, but none spoke up.

* * *

**Confessional: Sky**

"I know most people have been sharing right now, but they don't need to know that secret."

**End confessional**

* * *

The episode showed a brief montage of Blaineley asking personal questions, shouting, "Incorrect!", and pressing the button on her remote. When it ended, both teams were looking a bit singed. A few correct answers had been found, and Team Survivor was leading with 4 to Team Chris's 3.

Blaineley looked annoyed. "We've been at this too long already, and you all are terrible at reacting to secrets in an entertaining manner. You know what? First team to five points wins. Team Survivor, which one of you fake-cried in order to get somebody else in trouble within the past six months?"

The members of Team Survivor looked contemplative.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"That's a tough one. I would think most members of the team would at least have a bit too much dignity..."

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I wouldn't have put it past Justin, but at the same time, I'm not sure. He seems a bit too image-conscious. In a purely physical way, not a PR way. Tears don't look good."

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"All I know is it wasn't me. I doubt it was anyone already eliminated, because it doesn't seem to fit my read of them, but among the former Moose I might not be able to be sure..."

**End confessional**

* * *

The answer Team Survivor ended up giving was "Sugar."

"That...is...incorrect!" Blaineley declared, zapping them.

"Team Chris, if you steal this one, you'll have a chance to win on the next one," she continued. "Which member of Team Survivor, current, past, or would-have-been-were-they-still-here, fake-cried in order to get someone in trouble within the last six months?"

Heather huffed. "If I get zapped one more time..." she whispered to herself as she scanned Team Survivor's seating. Her gaze lingered on Alejandro briefly, but she dismissed him. However, she then noticed the person sitting behind him. "Wait, could it be...?"

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"I knew it couldn't have been Ale-lame-o. He's too prideful for that. And everyone else on that team just doesn't seem sneaky enough to try to get someone else in trouble by fake-crying. But maybe..."

**End confessional**

* * *

Heather quickly whispered to her teammates. "Dawn. It was Dawn. Back at the talent show."

"Wait, what?" Sammy whispered back, her fellow former Gophers looking similarly confused. "Dawn wouldn't..."

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"Wait, is it possible Dawn might have actually tried to get Amy eliminated? She doesn't seem like she would, but..."

**End confessional**

* * *

Team Chris showed their boards. Heather had voted for Dawn. So had Dave, Scarlett, Lindsay (though she had spelled it "Don"), Tyler, Katie, Topher, Scott, and Courtney. B, Beth, and Jasmine voted for Justin. Sammy, unsure of what to write, had left hers blank.

"Team Chris votes Dawn! That...is...correct!" Blaineley shouted.

Team Survivor all stared at Dawn. "I know it sounds bad, but I promise I had a good reason!" Dawn defended. "I knew there was a chance we wouldn't lose the talent show, and if we didn't and someone else messed up, Amy might not have been the one to go home when we did lose. The Gophers were all hurt by her words, but no one else was going to be the first to admit it. In the interest of Sammy's mental health, Amy needed to be eliminated as soon as possible."

Nobody spoke for a second. Duncan was the first to respond. "She has a point. That girl was _toxic_. "

"I still think I shouldn'ta lost that talent show," Sugar then grumbled. "Lousy Chef, wouldn't know talent if it hit him right in his face."

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"While I certainly to Sammy's position, I do have to wonder if this means Dawn is capable of making more big moves. I'll have to keep my eyes on her."

**End confessional**

* * *

Blaineley gave Team Survivor an unimpressed look. "I have to say, I was expecting more of a reaction. Maybe surprise? Shock? Betrayal that someone who carried herself as being so nice would play so dirty?"

When Team Survivor mirrored her unimpressed look, she scowled. "Fine. Team Chris, this last question could be your chance to win this. Answer wrong, and you give Team Survivor two more chances to beat you."

"Quit dragging it out and ask already!" Courtney demanded.

"Okay. Team Chris, which member posts jazzercise tutorials online under the name 'MotionMoonKing?'"

Team Chris's members looked at each other. While the members looked like they had an idea of what the answer was, they didn't look completely sure. When they revealed their boards, they all read 'Beardo', except for Tyler, Topher, Scott, and Lindsay. Lindsay voted for 'Rick', Tyler, Scott, and Topher for DJ.

Blaineley paused, drawing out the suspense. "That...is... _incorrect!_

"Team Chris?"

Every member of Team Chris immediately voted for DJ.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"All three of his roommates voted for him. I don't think that's a coincidence, especially given that the obvious person who might come up with the Paper Moon King reference is off the table. All I'm completely sure of, though, is that it isn't anyone still here. Scott's too poor, B's frame rules him out, Tyler isn't secure enough in his masculinity, Sierra would have said something if it was Topher, Dave is _way_ too insecure in his masculinity, and if it was one of the girls, I'm _sure_ Cody would have recognized her. I'm not completely sure, but my gut says DJ."

**End confessional**

* * *

"...Correct!" Blaineley declared. "Team Survivor wins! And for their prize, they get...a free five-year subscription to the _Celebrity Manhunt_ magazine! This episode is brought to you by _Celebrity Manhunt._ All the latest gossip, straight to you."

Team Survivor jeered this. "Boo! Your reward stinks and so do you!"

"As for Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean, I will see you, at elimination."

* * *

After the challenge, Topher and Heather were talking. "So, we're agreed then? Two members of the enemy alliance first, then we ditch Scarlett?" Heather asked.

"Sounds like a plan," Topher agreed. They then went their separate ways.

As Topher was walking back to camp, Sammy saw him. "Hey, Topher!"

"Good afternoon, Sammy," he responded pleasantly. "How are you?"

"Could be worse, could be better," Sammy answered. "So, the rest of us were talking, and the others wanted me to ask you to vote out Scarlett with us."

Topher winced. "Sorry. I want to, really. But if I were to vote out Scarlett now, I would destroy my position in the game. Trust me, I have no intention of letting her reach the merge, let alone the finals. But I can't vote her out yet."

Sammy looked at him with an expression of disappointment. "I'm sorry about Brick," Topher said sincerely. "He's a good guy. He deserved better." Sammy simply nodded.

* * *

Elsewhere, Beth was confronting Heather. "Do you _still_ want to be allies with Scarlett?"

"Not really," Heather admitted. "I might have considered being friends with her before what she did..."

* * *

**Confessional: Heather**

"Ha! As if. She's too competent and would have ended up being a threat later. Besides, I wouldn't be caught dead being friends with someone who thinks that hideous sweater-vest is a good fashion choice."

**End confessional**

* * *

"But now she's just a tool. In more than one sense of the word. I'm going to use her, then discard her," Heather finished.

"And let her have a chance to hurt someone else?" Beth asked.

"As if. If she hurts someone else on this show, she's not only getting eliminated, but also sent back to juvie," Heather said. "That was the condition for her not being disqualified."

"And you're not going to vote her out?"

Heather thought for a moment. "I might be convinced to vote out Scarlett tonight...if you were to align with me again."

"I'm going to vote for her anyway," Beth said. "Why do I need-oh. You mean permanently, right?"

"That's right," Heather confirmed. "Of course, trusting you would be a risky move for me. If you were to vote out Scarlett and then go back to the other alliance, that would be very bad for me. What guarantee can you give me that I can trust you not to do that?"

Beth thought long and hard. "I guess you're just going to have to trust me."

"And that's the problem. I don't trust you or anyone else here," Heather admitted. "I can be sure Dave and Topher won't betray me because they can't. If I go down they'll go down with me. But you have options now. And I can't trust you not to break our alliance because you already have."

"Wow, way to make me feel bad," Beth said. "I broke our alliance because you wanted to work with Scarlett and you wouldn't listen to me when I said I didn't want to!"

"And you were right," Heather conceded. "But let me tell you a little secret: I'm not a nice person. I'm not as bad as Scarlett, at least I hope not, but I want to win, and I don't care if that means I have to be ruthless. Would you stick by me if I decided the best plan for getting ahead was to arrange a breakup between an established couple? Or to blackmail someone into voting off a friend?"

Beth sighed. "No."

"Then you're just going to have to wait," Heather told her. "Two members of your alliance. No more. Then we ditch Scarlett."

* * *

At the gym, Alejandro and Sugar were talking while shooting hoops. "Welp, we won today," Sugar said.

" _Si_ , we did. Though I can't say I was impressed with our prize," Alejandro concurred.

"Meh, maybe them magazines'll come in handy if'n we run outta toilet paper," Sugar shrugged, with Alejandro wincing at the thought. "So, what about-" She stopped talking when she noticed Alejandro walking towards the bleachers. Hiding underneath were Cameron and Noah, both missing their socks and shoes while Noah had lost his outer shirt and Cameron's chest was bare. "What...are you two doing?"

"Playing strip Yu-Gi-Oh," Cameron told him. "It's not as fun as I thought it would be."

"Well, no duh! Yer s'posed to play strip games against someone a' the opposite gender!" Sugar explained.

"We tried but no girls were interested," Noah said. "But we can't quit now. Our pride is on the line."

"My disappointment in you is immeasurable," Alejandro said. "It hurts to even be in the same vicinity as you right now." With that, he walked off, Sugar trailing behind him.

Once they were gone, Noah looked at Cameron. "They're hiding something."

Cameron nodded. "I agree. Do you think maybe they're secretly dating?"

"Ew! No!" Noah protested. "And there's no way. Alejandro is handsome, smart, and talented. Sugar is none of those things. No, they're planning something."

"An alliance," Cameron said. "Alejandro's the de facto team leader, so Sugar wants his influence. And Alejandro wants her to do his dirty work, so if they get caught she'll take the fall."

"Exactly. Only question is what to do about it."

Cameron thought for a moment. "Sugar we can remove if need be. Her skills set is unreliable, and Lightning has made his distaste for her quite clear. Alejandro will be a harder sell, but if we lean on the fact that he'll be a big threat come the merge, we might be able to get rid of him."

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"Okay, when did Cameron start being a schemer?"

**End confessional**

* * *

Alejandro and Sugar had a similar conversation as they walked. "I feel they weren't there for strip Yu-Gi-Oh," Alejandro told Sugar.

"You think they were spyin' on us?" Sugar questioned.

"It's possible," Alejandro told her. "I think we should deal with Cameron soon, just to be safe. Maybe he won't be next to go, but soon nonetheless."

Sugar pondered Alejandro's words. "Cameron's the one with the big forehead, right?"

Alejandro rolled his eyes. "No, that's Noah. Cameron's the one with the glasses."

Sugar then shook her head. "Then he's the fella who told me the diamond I found in that mine wa'n't real. I don't think he's plannin' to get us voted off, 'cause if he was, he'd 'a just let me quit right there."

* * *

**Confessional: Sugar**

"I still think we need to get rid a' Bridgette. The shrimps? They ain't no threat."

**End confessional**

* * *

"No luck," Beth told her allies. "Heather's not budging. Any of you found that immunity idol yet?"

"No," Courtney answered. "Stupid Chris, making them so impossible to find. How did Owen find one?"

"Never mind that," Jasmine dismissed. "We need to convince someone. Dave?"

"In Heather's pocket," Courtney shook her head.

"Katie, then?"

"Topher's minion."

"Lindsay?"

"She still trusts Scarlett."

"Well, that's rather stupid," Jasmine commented.

Scott snorted. "Tell me about it. Sometimes I think she doesn't even have a brain in her-" he cut himself off. "Wait, that's it! Sure, she may not vote for Scarlett _willingly_ , but what if we tricked her?"

 _"How?"_ B typed into his text-to-speech device.

"We tell her that this time, the vote is for who you want to win! She'll probably vote for Tyler, and if we can get one more vote like that...is there anyone else supremely stupid allied with Scarlett?"

"Katie," Jasmine said. "Nothing going on up there."

"Then we tell her that too. That gives us six votes to Scarlett's five. But we have to make sure to tell them late enough that Scarlett and Topher can't tell them otherwise."

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Blaineley was reminiscing about the day. "Today was a fun day, wasn't it? We had a fun challenge, plenty of good humor..."

"Today felt like it was months long," Heather snapped. "Just get on with it."

The interim hostess scowled at her. "I'm going to read the votes now," she said, opening the box that contained the votes.

"One vote for Scarlett.

"Another vote for Scarlett.

"One vote for Beth. That's two votes for Scarlett, one vote for Beth."

"Yes, we can count," Scott said. "Hurry it up."

Blaineley scowled at him. "A second vote for Beth. And another vote for Scarlett.

"One vote for Scarlett. One vote for Beth. And a fourth vote for Beth.

"One vote for Scarlett. Another vote for Scartlett. That's six votes Scarlett, four votes Beth. And don't interrupt me, or I'm sending you home instead of the loser.

"A fifth vote for Beth." At this, Beth was looking nervous. "Okay, moment of truth," she whispered to herself.

"A vote...for Betty. I'm going to assume that means Beth." The camera showed Beth and her allies visibly panicking.

* * *

**Confessional: Lindsay**

"Janet told me earlier that tonight we were voting for the winner. But something about that didn't seem right to me. Scarlett said earlier that we were voting for Betty, so I voted for her."

**End confessional**

* * *

"And the last vote is for...Sadie. It's a tie!"

"So, what do we do now?" Topher asked.

Blaineley shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't prepare a tiebreaker. Might as well have Katie vote again, but only be able to vote for Scarlett or Beth."

Katie looked at Scarlett and Beth. She thought long and hard, with no indication of what she was thinking.

Topher then decided to make it easier for her. He pointed to Beth and mouthed "Choose Beth." Katie nodded. "I choose...Beth."

Blaineley nodded. "Beth, you have been eliminated. Everyone else, come get your marshmallow."

Beth sighed. "Well, it was fun while it lasted. Goodbye, guys! I'll miss most of you!" She then boarded the Boat of Losers, and it sped away.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter took way too long. It's just...I couldn't seem to find the motivation to write the challenge. The character interactions were easy, I'd been planning them for a while now. But the challenge itself seemed to defy all my attempts to work on it.**

**Thoughts on Beth: I like her, but I also don't like her in a sense. I do think she's charming in her own way, but at the same time she always felt like she was in someone else's shadow. I tried to change that up a bit by distancing her from Lindsay, but I don't really think it worked.**

**Next chapter...being realistic, expect it by Christmas.**

**Elimination order:**

**Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)**

**52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar**

**51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger**

**Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)**

**50: Amy, the Evil Twin**

**49: Leonard, the LARPer**

**48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject**

**47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast**

**46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy**

**45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe**

**Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)**

**44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy**

**42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner**

**(Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)**

**42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead**

**41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess**

**40: Justin, the Eye Candy**

**39: Cody, the Flirty Geek**

**37 (tie): Mike, the Thespian**

**37 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink**

**36: Sadie, the other BFFFL**

**35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard**

**34: Sam, the Gamer**

**33: Sierra, the Super-fan**

**32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart**

**31: Trent, the Musician**

**30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette**

**29: Harold, the Nerd with Mad Skillz**

**28: Owen, the Optimist**

**27: Brick, the Cadet**

**26: Beth, the Wannabe**


	30. This is How We Duel It

**T** **eams:**

**Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean: B, Courtney, Dave, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Lindsay, Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler**

**Team Survivor: Alejandro, Bridgette, Cameron, Dawn, Duncan, Geoff, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Shawn, Sky, Sugar, Zoey**

* * *

The episode opened on the boys' side of the Team Survivor cabin, where the boys were chatting. Shawn had joined as well, and was sorting through his bag. "No zombie patrol today?" Duncan asked him.

"No, I found an easier way," Shawn answered. "I asked the intern in charge of the cameras to look through the feeds to make sure there weren't any zombies or vampires on the island. We checked through a fair number of cameras, and saw no signs of zombies. It's possible we might have missed some, but we covered more of the island than I could have on my own. And he's staying vigilant, so hopefully, I can afford a little relaxation." He then took a hatchet out of his bag. "Not that I'm not ready if zombies _do_ come through that door."

"A little relaxation, huh? Maybe with Jasmine?" Geoff asked him.

"Eh, probably not. Being in a relationship is the number-three cause of death in a zombie apocalypse behind terminal stupidity and infighting, and I don't want to get her hopes up if I'm not going to pursue a relationship with her." Shawn then realized everyone was looking at him like he was, well, crazier than normal. "What?"

Duncan was the first to speak. "Dude, you're scruffy and you smell like a dumpster. You probably have never been the object of any girl's affections in your life. And now, not only does a girl actually want you, but said girl happens to be a total bombshell. Are you just not into girls? Is that it?"

"No, I like girls," Shawn said. "I just like not having my brains eaten more."

Duncan shook his head. "Shawn, you are never going to get a chance this good again. I think Jasmine is tough enough that the undead aren't going to be a problem if they ever do rise, but even if they are, some things are worth the risk!"

Shawn thought for a moment. "You really think so?"

"I know so," Duncan told him. "Sometimes, you gotta take the leap."

Noah then cut in. "Is that why you haven't asked Zoey out yet?"

"Zoey?" Duncan asked. "W-what does she have to do with this conversation?"

"It's quite simple," Alejandro agreed. "You like her and you're afraid to tell her."

"That's just ri-" Duncan tried to deny, but gave up when he saw that nobody was buying it. "I mean, yeah, she's cute, and funny, and she manages to describe nerd media in a way that actually makes it sound cool, but I don't really think I'm her type. Given what she's told me about her home life, she doesn't seem like she's all that keen on punks."

"And yet she's friends with you," Cameron said. "Maybe it's because you're not really a punk at heart; you just act like one to try to get your parents to pay attention to you."

Duncan stood up and grabbed him by the shirt. "Take. That. Back."

"But that's just what Dawn says!" Cameron said hastily. "I'm not saying I believe it!"

Lightning, who had been doing pushups on the floor, then stood up. "Welp, breakfast time," he said. Then he looked at his teammates. "The Lightning is going to make this challenge our biggest win yet. And he's going to wow everyone with his performance, especially Sky. And _then_ , he's askin' her out. So don't any of you sha-clowns get any ideas." With that, he left the cabin.

"So, I guess it's breakfast time," Noah said.

* * *

The episode cut to the Mess Hall, with the campers once more eating breakfast. This time, however, rather than Chris, it was Chef who interrupted them. "All right, maggots! Challenge time!"

This was met with more than a few groans. "You're hosting?" Topher asked.

"Yep! Blaineley quit 'cause she had a new episode of her show to film, and while the network finds another host, I'm hostin' this episode," Chef explained.

"If you're hosting, though, who's co-hosting?" Topher pressed.

Chef smiled. "I got that covered. Dad! Get in here!"

A man who looked like Chef, but much fatter and sporting a gray beard walked in through the door. He was wearing an outfit _covered_ in sequins. "Gleeson, why couldn't you have gotten one of your brothers to do this?"

"Norbert's workin', Morgan's on a week-long ski vacation with his girl, and Little Rick is in Costa Rica," Chef told his father. "And why are you wearin' that? You look like a disco dancer."

"You said I was gonna be on TV, so I figured I'd dress the part," Chef's dad explained. "You wanna be in show biz, you got to stand out. _Razzle dazzle 'em, and they'll make you a star!"_ he sang. Chef just sighed.

The campers burst out laughing. "Forget you hosting, you should let your dad host!" Heather said.

"See, this girl gets it," Chef's dad said.

"If you were hosting, the challenge for today would be which team can work retail better," Chef said. Addressing the campers, he said, "Put on your bathing suits, and meet us at the dock in ten!"

* * *

At the dock, the campers waited for their challenge. Chef marched out and glared at the campers. "You maggots are _weak!_ _Soft!_ You don't know what it's like to _fight!_ Well, that changes today! Today you will be facing each other in _combat!_ You will _beat_ the weakness out of each other!"

"Layin' it on a bit thick, ain't you, son?" Chef's dad asked.

"It's called 'playin to the cameras,' Dad," Chef told him.

"Hey, don't let me tell you how to do yo' job," Chef's dad replied. "All I'm sayin' is, I sold electronics for a livin', and that includes video cameras. And not _once_ did those cameras react when someone got all overdramatic."

This led to another burst of laughter from the campers. "Mister Hatchet Senior, you are the best host we've had on this entire show," Topher said.

"Hey, you don't need to call me 'Mr. Hatchet Senior,'" Chef's dad said. "Just call me Big Rick."

" _As I was saying,"_ Chef snapped, "For today's challenge, y'all will be dueling. We set up a platform," he pointed out an inflatable platform with a mat covering it measuring about 12 feet by 10 feet, "and you will fight each other and try to knock each other off the platform."

"One of the members of Team Chris will have to fight twice, 'cause of the uneven numbers," Big Rick said. "And according to the online random selection generator, that member will be...Courtney!"

He then held up the phone he had used to get the selection. "The Apple iPhone. Now available at Buy-Mart Electronics. The best deals for all your technological needs."

"Duelists are divided by weight class," Chef said. "So, we're going from lightest to heaviest. Meaning Cameron and Dave are up first."

* * *

Cameron and Dave stood on the platform, and raised the large dueling sticks they had been given. The dueling sticks were heavily padded with foam on either end.

Cameron stepped towards Dave and swung his dueling stick, hoping to not give Dave any room to dodge. Dave ducked under it and jabbed Cameron in the ribs with his, knocking him off balance. Dave then followed up by trying to rush him, but Cameron allowed himself to fall so that Dave tripped over him instead.

This allowed Dave to get a good whiff of the mat. "Gross! What is this, Chef's exercise mat?"

* * *

**Confessional: Chef**

"Maaaaybe."

**End confessional**

* * *

Cameron and Dave both got up, and Dave was the first to go on the offensive, attempting to batter down Cameron's defense. Cameron gave ground, allowing Dave tu push him towards the edge. At the last second, he attempted to hook his dueling stick behind Dave, in order to pull Dave into the water and keep him on the platform.

It might have worked, but Dave noticed what he was doing and dropped to the mat again. Cameron, having braced for meeting resistance that had not been there, fell backwards into the water.

"Well, those two may have been skinny nerds, but I got to hand it to them; they had that duelin' mindset," Chef said with respect. "They thought on their feet even in the middle of the fight. Ten bucks says some idiot decides to just batter, batter, batter away at their opponent and lose as a result. Up next, Lindsay and Dawn!"

* * *

The two blond girls faced each other. Lindsay charged Dawn, and started battering away at her defense. Dawn defended herself, blocking and dodging capably. Dawn circled around, not letting Lindsay drive her close to the edge. When Lindsay's attacks started to falter, Dawn then went on the offensive and hit her with the dueling stick, then shoved her off the platform with the end of the stick while she was off balance.

"Called it," Chef said. "Next is Katie and Noah!"

* * *

As soon as the duel began, Katie charged at Noah as fast as she could. Noah simply sidestepped her and allowed her to run straight off the platform.

Chef just facepalmed.

* * *

**Confessional: Noah**

"I think this might be my favorite challenge yet. I didn't even have to do anything!"

**End confessional**

* * *

Scarlett and Sky were next up. Lightning gave a cheer for his crush.

"You're going down," Sky said bitterly. "I saw what you did. You're going to pay."

"Oh, please," Scarlett said dismissively. "I have a majority vote. There's no chance I'm going home tonight."

"Then I'll just have to keep winning until you do!" Sky shouted, and charged at Scarlett. Scarlett dodged out of the way, but Sky slid to a stop before falling, and jabbed at Scarlett with her dueling stick. Scarlett dodged, and then blocked when Sky made a swipe towards her. She kept dodging and blocking, waiting for Sky to overextend herself.

Sky, however, wasn't going to be as easily worn down as Lindsay. She kept swinging, but didn't overextend herself and stayed in balance. The two girls waited, each looking for a moment of opportunity.

The moment came when Sky stepped in a puddle, and slipped slightly. When she was distracted, Scarlett hit her and knocked her off the platform.

"I told you so, imbecile," Scarlett said. "Perhaps if you get a bit less emotionally invested in seeing me get sent home, you might avoid being sent home yourself."

* * *

**Confessional: Sky**

"Aargh! Why is she still here?"

**End confessional**

* * *

The next duel was Sammy vs. Bridgette. Bridgette began the duel by jumping up and forward, stabbing the dueling stick into the platform like a spear as she landed, and then knocking Sammy off when she got thrown off balance as a result. The entire duel lasted about three seconds.

"Wow. I didn't even think of doin' that," Chef commented.

"I bet it ain't easy to pull off," Big Rick said. "I bet someone else tries it and can't do it."

"We'll see. Up next, Heather vs. Zoey!"

* * *

Heather made the first move, making a sweeping strike at Zoey, which the redhead blocked. Heather made two more strikes, which Zoey blocked as well, before Zoey counterattacked with her own strike, which Heather dodged.

They continued to trade blows, seeming pretty evenly matched. Whenever one of the girls attacked, the other would dodge or block the attack without trouble.

The deciding moment came when the sun came out from behind the clouds that had been blocking it. Zoey was facing the direction of the sun, and when she squinted as a reaction to the light, Heather knocked her into the water with a sweeping blow to the midsection.

"Gotta be careful. In an even fight, the slightest thing can make a difference," Big Rick pointed out.

"Ain't that the truth," Chef agreed. "Next is Shawn vs Courtney!"

* * *

Courtney and Shawn faced each other. Shawn went on the offensive, making strikes that Courtney only barely parried. Then Courtney had an idea. She pointed at the island, when Shawn's back was to it, and shouted "Holy [bleep], is that a zombie?"

Shawn quickly turned around. "Where?"

As his back was turned, Courtney knocked him into the water. Scott cheered. "That's my girlfriend!"

* * *

**Confessional: Scott**

"Man, do I love that woman!"

**End confessional**

* * *

"That was dirty," Big Rick said disapprovingly.

"There's no such thing as dirty in a fight," Chef disagreed. "Duncan, you're fightin' her next."

Duncan got a worried look on his face. "If you say so."

* * *

**Confessional: Duncan**

"I don't know what it is, but something about that girl scares me."

**End confessional**

* * *

Duncan and Courtney both tried attacking first, and the unpadded parts of their dueling sticks connected. The two were forced close to each other by their momentum, and Courtney kneed Duncan in the groin, then knocked him off the platform as well.

"Ain't no rule against that. Courtney wins this one too!" Chef announced.

"There should be a rule against it," Big Rick said. He looked at Scott, who had a lovestruck expression on his face. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, um, yeah," Scott said. "Absolutely!"

Big Rick just turned away. "Weirdo."

Chef nodded. "That's 5 Team Chris, 3 Team Survivor. Up next, Topher vs. Geoff!"

* * *

Topher and Geoff's duel started with Topher attempting to make a strike at Geoff, but Geoff simply blocked it and made three blows at Topher that the wannabe host only barely managed to dodge and block, getting backed into a corner. Topher, out of desperation, tried the same trick that Bridgette had used against Sammy, but Geoff, a seasoned surfer, kept his balance easily while Topher was thrown off balance by the movement of the platform under him. Geoff simply knocked him off the platform easily.

"Called it," Big Rick said.

"In fairness, it might've worked if it hadn't been Geoff he tried it on," Chef told his father. "Up next, Tyler vs. Alejandro!"

* * *

The duel between Alejandro and Tyler was a very short one. Tyler tried to hit Alejandro, but he moved too fast and lost his balance. Alejandro ducked beneath the blow and jabbed Tyler in the ribs, knocking him off the platform.

"And that ties things up at five-all!" Chef said. "Up next, Scott vs. Lightning!"

* * *

Scott and Lightning took a few seconds to size each other up before Lightning made the first move. He swung his dueling stick horizontally, which Scott ducked under, and Scott tried to counter with a jab. Lightning dodged, and went for a diagonal strike but Scott blocked it.

The two then paused again. Scott looked at the dueling stick in his hands. "You know what? I don't need this." He tossed the stick aside and raised his fists. "Let's fight for _real._ Unless you're not _man_ enough to fight me _mano a mano._ "

"Nobody calls Lightning a coward!" Lightning shouted, tossing his dueling stick into the water as well. "Sha-bam!" he shouted as he aimed a right punch to Scott's face.

Scott dodged, and gave a hard jab with his left hand that hit Lightning right in the nose. He tried to follow up with a right hook, but Lightning stumbled backwards, so the blow missed him. Scott jabbed again with his right to Lightning's ribs, but when he tried to follow up, Lightning's roundhouse punch from the right hit his cheekbone.

Lightning tried for a left cross, but Scott, seemingly unfazed by the blow, blocked it with his right and hit Lightning in the jaw with his left. He then slammed into Lightning with his shoulder, forcing Lightning to the edge, and knocked him off with a left uppercut.

Lightning sputtered to the surface. "How?"

"You may be strong and fast, but you're still a rich kid," Scott answered. "Between the two of us, only one of us has had to _really_ fight. Me."

Lightning seemed to accept this. "There's one thing the Lightning should tell ya," he said quietly.

Scott crouched down to hear him. "And that is?"

Lightning grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into the water too. "Sha-sucker!"

The camera went back to Chef. "I think we'd better take a short break."

* * *

When the camera started rolling again, Lightning and Scott were both holding ice packs to their respective bruises. Courtney nudged Scott and surreptitiously pointed at Lightning, making an "apologize" face.

Scott turned to Lightning. "I only goaded you into a fistfight because I didn't know if I could beat you with the dueling stick," he confessed.

"Sha-dang right, you couldn't!" Lightning agreed. "But that was a good fight," he admitted.

"So, we cool?"

"Yeah, we cool. Any dude who can fight as good as you is cool in the Lightning's book," Lightning said, giving the farm boy a high five. The girls all looked at the two of them like they were crazy.

* * *

**Confessional: Sammy**

"I really don't get how boys can get into fights, and then be high-fiving each other ten minutes later as if nothing even happened. It's crazy."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Well, that was...interesting," Chef said. "But Scott knocked Lightning into the water first, so he wins the point. Up next is Jasmine and Leshawna. Oh, and girls? Use the dueling sticks."

* * *

Jasmine and Leshawna faced each other down. Leshawna took the first swing, which the Australian blocked. She went for a hit of her own, but Leshawna blocked that blow. The two went back and forth for a while, proving perhaps the most evenly matched of the duelists thus far. When one struck, the other blocked. When one got a hit in, the other managed to keep her balance. Jasmine managed to get a hit to Leshawna's chest, almost causing her to lose her balance, but Leshawna got a hit to Jasmine's side while Jasmine tried to follow up, knocking the Aussie girl off the platform.

"That was maybe the closest one yet," Big Rick commented.

"Yeah, it could have easily gone the other way," Chef agreed. "But it didn't! Which means the last match decides! Sugar vs. B!"

Sugar turned to taunt B, but stopped when she noticed B was smirking. He had had a very large towel covering his upper body; he removed it and folded it up, revealing his large muscles.

Sugar was shocked, but then got a determined look on her face. "So what if you got big muscles! I'll beat you either way!" B just tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.

* * *

"Aaaaaand...FIGHT!" Chef announced. Sugar needed no further prompting, and started attacking B wildly. B simply blocked every blow easily. He kept blocking for some time, giving no ground.

When Sugar started to falter, B went on the offensive. He rained blow after blow on Sugar, many of which she failed to block or only barely blocked. He jabbed her multiple times with the end of his dueling stick, forcing her back until she had no ground left to give. She desperately tried for a horizontal swing, but B blocked it, then knocked her into the water with a jab to the solar plexus.

"And B wins the duel! That means...Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Mean wins!" Chef announced. "Team Survivor, I will be seeing you at elimination."

"And, for Team Chris, your prize is...$100 gift cards for the Buy-Mart!" Big Rick announced. "But, we still have a consolation prize for Team Survivor. A compilation CD of the best hits of the 1980s!" Some enthusiasm perked up at that, only to be killed by the next words from Big Rick. "Performed by our local synth-rock duo, Lesterrey!" He handed out CDs with a middle-aged, balding blond man and a short, scruffy Indian man on the cover, with doves in the background.

* * *

Alejandro sighted Lightning, Shawn, Geoff, and Bridgette talking. "And your fight against Sammy? Sha- _mazing!"_ Lightning said to Bridgette.

Alejandro joined the conversation. "Have you decided who you're going to vote for?" he asked.

"Yeah. Starts with shu, ends with gur," Lightning said.

"He's been wanting Sugar gone since she first came back," Shawn told the charmer. "But at the same time, she did lose for us today."

"I don't know, I'm not sure any of us could have beaten B," Alejandro rationalized. "Maybe Lightning or Leshawna could have done it, but Sugar was pretty clearly out of her depth. I find it hard to really blame her for our loss."

"Then who do you blame?" Bridgette asked.

* * *

**Confessional: Alejandro**

"Who to blame for our loss? This is a hard question to answer. The obvious choice is Shawn, but Shawn is typically too valuable of a teammate for the team to consider voting him out. The other obvious choice is Cameron, but even though I think he may be plotting against me, I don't think it would be best to have him voted off now. He may be stronger than he looks, but he still will be a viable option to cut in the future. The same cannot be said for..."

**End confessional**

* * *

"Duncan," Alejandro said. "I think we should vote Duncan out tonight."

"Nah, Duncan's cool," Geoff said. "Why him? Why not Cameron?"

"I'll be completely honest with you," Alejandro said. "I have ulterior motives for wanting Duncan gone. Duncan is probably the most well-connected person on the team right now. I can pretty well guarantee that Zoey will never vote for him, and he is well-liked by both of you," he said as he indicated Geoff and Lightning. "If we allow him to get too far into the game, it may not be easy to have him removed, especially as we vote out campers such as Cameron and Sugar who have no real connection to him."

"No way," Lightning said. "I ain't votin' for Duncan. Especially not while Sugar is still here."

"Yeah, I don't really want to vote out Duncan," Geoff agreed.

"Fair enough," Alejandro conceded. "I have no particular problem with Duncan, but neither do I have a particular friendship with him. It's really nothing personal, and far be it from me to try to force you to do something you don't want to do."

He then left the four of them, and sought out Cameron. _"Hola,_ Cameron!" he called. "May I talk with you?"

"Sure," Cameron said. "Noah's off doing his own thing, so...would you like to play chess?" He pulled a magnetic chess set out of his jacket pocket.

"Certainly," Alejandro agreed, and the two began their game.

After a few moves, Cameron asked, "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I was talking to some of the other members of our team," Alejandro said. "We were discussing who to vote out, and your name came up."

"I guess I'm not that surprised," Cameron conceded. "But why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling you because I want to suggest an alternative. I have managed to get three votes for Duncan. Maybe four; one of the campers is suggested the idea to seemed undecided."

"And you want him gone because..."

"I want him gone because of his connections. He is close with Zoey, and is friends with Lightning and Geoff. Lightning is close with Shawn, and Bridgette is Geoff's girlfriend. Plus, Lightning may soon act on his crush on Sky, so if Duncan manages to sufficiently leverage all of those connections, he could have up to seven votes in his favor. That is enough to control the eliminations on the entire team. I want to vote him out _before_ Lightning and Sky become an item in order to prevent this possibility."

"Good point," Cameron agreed. "I'll vote for Duncan. And I'll see if I can get Noah and Leshawna on board with the idea."

" _Gracias,_ " Alejandro thanked him.

* * *

**Confessional: Cameron**

"I still don't trust Alejandro. He's like a career politician; he's charming, and he knows what to say to get you to do what he wants. But I can't fault his logic for wanting Duncan gone. I don't _think_ he's lying about that; I've watched enough political debates to be able to tell when a politician or a journalist is telling the truth and when they're lying. Mostly, they're always lying."

**End confessional**

* * *

At the Campfire Ceremony, Chef was preparing to hand out marshmallows. "You all know the drill by now. Loser doesn't get a marshmallow, loser goes home. Marshmallows go to Leshawna, Bridgette, Geoff, Dawn, Noah, and Al."

"Please do not call me by...that name," Alejandro said, even as he caught his marshmallow.

Chef simply waved him off. "Sky and Zoey. You are also safe. And Lightning and Shawn. Also safe."

He then looked at the three remaining campers. "Cameron, Duncan, Sugar, the three of you received votes tonight. But of the three of you, only one is goin' home, and it ain't Cameron." Cameron caught his marshmallow, relieved.

"And the final marshmallow goes to...Sugar."

"What?" Duncan asked. "Why me?"

"You can find out once you watch the episode," Chef told him. "Anything you want to say before you leave?"

"Yes, actually," Duncan said. "Zoey, once the game is over, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"Sure, I'd love to!" Zoey said.

"Awesome!" Duncan said. He then boarded the Boat of Losers. Big Rick climbed into the driver's seat, and drove him off.

Chef turned to the rest of them. "The rest of you are safe. For tonight."

Unbeknownst to all of them, Dave was watching the Campfire Ceremony.

* * *

**Confessional: Dave**

"Zoey's dating _Duncan_? I figured she'd have better taste than that. I guess I got distracted with team strategy and such. I need to make my move soon if I want to find a girlfriend. Tomorrow, I'm going to make my move on Sky."

**End confessional**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm as surprised as you are that I managed to finish this one so quickly. But I guess being in a good mood is good for my writing, and peace in the Middle East is good enough news to put anyone in a good mood.
> 
> Thoughts on Duncan? I don't like Duncan, but I also think he gets a bad rap sometimes. Was he a good boyfriend? No, but some writers on the site have a tendency to make him an abusive boyfriend just because of his image, when there was only one abuser in his relationship with Courtney and it wasn't him. I do think his cheating was a dick move, and if it had to happen, I would have preferred it if he at least regretted it. If not for Courtney's sake, at least for Gwen's. But he didn't, and that makes it hard for me to really like him that much. It certainly doesn't help that he has the most screen time out of any character except Heather.
> 
> Elimination order:
> 
> Dave, the Germaphobe (RETURNED)
> 
> 52: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
> 
> 51: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
> 
> Sugar, the Pageant Queen (RETURNED)
> 
> 50: Amy, the Evil Twin
> 
> 49: Leonard, the LARPer
> 
> 48: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
> 
> 47: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast
> 
> 46: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
> 
> 45: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
> 
> Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette (RETURNED)
> 
> 44: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
> 
> 42 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
> 
> (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild (RETURNED)
> 
> 42 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
> 
> 41: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
> 
> 40: Justin, the Eye Candy
> 
> 39: Cody, the Flirty Geek
> 
> 37 (tie): Mike, the Thespian
> 
> 37 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
> 
> 36: Sadie, the other BFFFL
> 
> 35: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
> 
> 34: Sam, the Gamer
> 
> 33: Sierra, the Super-fan
> 
> 32: DJ, the Brickhouse with Heart
> 
> 31: Trent, the Musician
> 
> 30: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
> 
> 29: Harold, the Nerd with Mad Skillz
> 
> 28: Owen, the Optimist
> 
> 27: Brick, the Cadet
> 
> 26: Beth, the Wannabe
> 
> 25: Duncan, the Delinquent


End file.
